I have 100 percent proof my gf is cheating on me. We were living together for over a year in Dallas before we moved to different cities in the U.S. I found out about her sexcapades from her email which I happen to know the password without her knowing. I am still contemplating how to handle it because what she has done is horrible but she has been too good to me before now. I really love this girl and I know she loves me because she has made sacrifices that no other gf has ever made for me and cried a lot when we moved to separate cities. When we were in college in Texas, this girl used to support me morally, financially, spiritually and sexually. She sold her car at some point to help me pay off my tuition debts. Yes! she is that good. We were making plans for the future before this long distance thing happened out of necessity. She started sounding somehow lately and I decided to dig and found that she has been having an affair with another guy in Illinois where she is currently. I saw their erotic convos about their bleeping, her messages asking him to bleep her and vice versa, pictures of their private parts which they exchanged, hotel receipts, plane tickets to vacations, convos of how they are having a good time etc. I am so depressed and have had to see a psychologist because of this. I don't know how to handle this because of the way I found out and because I don't wanna loose her forever; besides this the girl is really any man's dreams cos she is very pretty, kind and intelligent even though she has a bad temper sometimes. It is partly my fault because for sometime I was not calling her as much but it was cos the things I was busy with not cos I was cheating or anything like that. I JUST HATE THIS SITUATION. I don't know how I can move on from here. I had thought I found the one for real but now this! She was all I wanted. Is it love carrying me through or am I being stupid? It's okay to be sincere and tell me I am stupid now cos I just feel all kinds of way. Love is really a damn tragedy! I need opinions...it may help before I board a plane to Illinois and do something really really stupid.

first of all,confront her...don't rush to break up wit a good gal because of wot u saw in her email...jes confront ha n hear wot she has to say bfor making a decision

Op, continue on this path and you will live with a lifetime of pain.
It's not worth it.

ginawest:
first of all,confront her...don't rush to break up wit a good gal because of wot u saw in her email...jes confront ha n hear wot she has to say bfor making a decision

There is really nothing to disprove it because pictures and receipts don't lie. I just did not see this happening to me. You can imagine how I felt when I saw those pics. There is no disproving. You think I can live with knowing the things she's done? You think my love for her will let me look beyond this?

Let TRUE LOVE guide your sense of judgment! If you truly love her the way she has to you, then DON'T take that flight or MAKE that CALL ....it may change your life or hers forever! Stay safe and out of trouble dear

teflonbuzz:
I have 100 percent proof my gf is cheating on me. We were living together for over a year in Dallas before we moved to different cities in the U.S. I found out about her sexcapades from her email which I happen to know the password without her knowing. I am still contemplating how to handle it because what she has done is horrible but shes has been too good to me before now. I really love this girl and I know she loves me because she has made sacrifices that no other gf has ever made for me and cried a lot when we moved to separate cities. When we were in college in Texas, this girl used to support me morally, financially, spiritually and sexually. She sold her car at some point to help me pay off my tuition debts. Yes! she is that good. We were making plans for the future before this long distance thing happened out of necessity. She started sounding somehow lately and I decided to dig and found that she has been having an affair with another guy in Illinois where she is currently. I saw their erotic convos about their bleeping, her messages asking him to bleep her and vice versa, pictures of their private parts which they exchanged, hotel receipts, plan tickets to vacations, convos of how they are having a good time etc. I am so depressed and have had to see a psychologist because of this. I don't know how to handle this because of the way I found out and because I don't wanna loose her forever; besides this the girl is really any man's dreams cos she is very pretty, kind and intelligent even though she has a bad temper sometimes. It is partly my fault because for sometime I was not calling her as much but it was cos the things I was busy with not cos I was cheating or anything like that. I JUST HATE THIS SITUATION. I don't know how I can move on from here. I had thought I found the one for real but now this! She was all I wanted. Is it love carrying me through or am I being stupid? It's okay to be sincere and tell me I am stupid now cos I just feel all kinds of way. Love is really a damn tragedy! I need opinions...it may help before I board a plane to Illinois and do something really really stupid.

sexylogan:
Op, continue on this path and you will live with a lifetime of pain.
It's not worth it.

I'm already in pain. Are you saying fighting is not worth it? I never thought I will need to see a psychologist in my life but I really loove this girl. My problem is I can't seem to see myself happy with someone else.

This is super story......

vichks:
This is super story......

...I wish. Don't play with the pain of others. Life is real.

ginawest:
first of all,confront her...don't rush to break up wit a good gal because of wot u saw in her email...jes confront ha n hear wot she has to say bfor making a decision

If good is a person, it would sue you for abuse and misuse.

There is no good girl on earth.



@OP, Confront her, not because you still want the relationship but because you want her to know why you are leaving.

Then pick the biggest piece of your broken heart and move on.

I understand your feeling. In relationship, distance is always a big problem.

Confront her, ask her questions... she will deny it initially, but show her your proofs and watch how she reacts.

Her reactions will determine if she still love you or not. If she felt bad for what did and apologise immediately, you can give her a second chance but if she didn't show any remorse for her action, you can forget about her and move on with your life.

im sorry to say this, you need to dump her cheating ass before she pulls more terrible stunts when you get married

Knowing her, if I confront her she likely won't deny but will get defensive and it may get really ugly.

It will keep haunting u if u dnt let her knw, go 2 her peacefully, let her knw u're troubled she will open up n tell u wassup....i think after dat u'll knw wia u stand.

blackchukky:
im sorry to say this, you need to dump her cheating ass before she pulls more terrible stunts when you get married

That's the problem. If I dump her,who will I get next that I am sure won't cheat? A nun? This is like dumping the last 2 yrs of my life. What bothers me more is that I don't wanna see her happy with someone else. Ain't gonna lie, taking her life crossed my mind for a minute not out of hatred but just so I can live with this. It still feels like it's my loss....this damn girl gave me some of the best years of my life.

teflonbuzz:

I'm already in pain. Are you saying fighting is not worth it? I never thought I will need to see a psychologist in my life but I really loove this girl. My problem is I can't seem to see myself happy with someone else.

Do not fight it my broda!




You don't have to break up with her. You juz let the relationship slide down the drain. It's either both parties walk away by implication or she knock it off herself.





All I'd love you to do is see her as 'just' a friend n try stay around ppl that'll make you happy.





Your happiness is much more important than the love you 'had' for her, her sexual assistance, moral support n spiritual input all put together.





God bless you n may HE see thru this difficult period.




#salam
#peace

realtestament:
It will keep haunting u if u dnt let her knw, go 2 her peacefully, let her knw u're troubled she will open up n tell u wassup....i think after dat u'll knw wia u stand.

From what I saw she doesn't really like the guy cos they just kept the whole thing like they were just having fun. No sentiments. I would have questioned my bed skills but I know what I'm made of, which she and others before her have confirmed...which only leaves me with the question,why? Is it just boredom or what?

teflonbuzz:

That's the problem. If I dump her,who will I get next that I am sure won't cheat? A nun? This is like dumping the last 2 yrs of my life. What bothers me more is that I don't wanna see her happy with someone else. Ain't gonna lie, taking her life crossed my mind for a minute not out of hatred but just so I can live with this. It still feels like it's my loss....this damn girl gave me some of the best years of my life.

fear of the unknown.

its normal for you to feel this way at this stage.

The choice is yours.
but in fairness you deserve better than a cheating bastard

teflonbuzz:
Knowing her, if I confront her she likely won't deny but will get defensive and it may get really ugly.

O.p, this is really sad mehn! And I feel ur pain. This is how u shud confront her:, find a way to invite her over and treat her to a very romantic dinner that u cooked your self at ur place. Don't give her the slightest indication dat smtn is wrong, just keep looking into her eyes while u play, tease her etc..She may be uneasy at first knowing she has strings with someone else but later she wud get comfortable. At the climax of the dinner, hold her hands gently, loook into her eyes and ask her "why"?, she will be all dramatic but keep ur cool, den tell her she has been cheating on u and u know. Let her confess, allow her to talk even if she gets defensive, after she talks, let her know how much u love her and also make her know u won't hold her against u and that she is free and then ask her is that what u wan?"...she may be all crying at this pointt. At that point, tell her to make up her mind that what ever decision she takes is fine but u still love her. Don't shout oh. Then leave her and go to bed. You wud kill her if u do this smoothly and she wud remember for the rest of her life. Now if she comes back crying and begging, you can nowget angry, and then warn her Neva eva to try that with u again. Give her instructions like call him now and tell him its over, delete his number etc. Then go on and love her dis time with plenty adventure.
Her kind of person loves adventure and attention, the moment u take ur eyes off them, they cud fall for someone else weda good or bad.
Goodluck winning ur love back

Kowema what that's too good a tactic?

You've cheated before? Was it used on you?

#JustAsking

WackyJ1:
Kowema what that's too good a tactic?

You've cheated before? Was it used on you?

#JustAsking

Lol.. The girl and I share a lot in common. she may even turn it against him sef if he gets all angry. You can't catch them in the act at all. That's the kind of strategy that will work.
People like that are soft inside and dat kind of stunt wud break her completely.
About weda I cheat, well, I have cheated before but cus d gut stopped gvn me attentionn he was no longer calling and so in my head, I moved on with someone else, with plans to call him n tell him its over. Lemme not talk much jawe

She'll turn it against him even when presented with proof? How?

kowema:


O.p, this is really sad mehn! And I feel ur pain. This is how u shud confront her:, find a way to invite her over and treat her to a very romantic dinner that u cooked your self at ur place. Don't give her the slightest indication dat smtn is wrong, just keep looking into her eyes while u play, tease her etc..She may be uneasy at first knowing she has strings with someone else but later she wud get comfortable. At the climax of the dinner, hold her hands gently, loook into her eyes and ask her "why"?, she will be all dramatic but keep ur cool, den tell her she has been cheating on u and u know. Let her confess, allow her to talk even if she gets defensive, after she talks, let her know how much u love her and also make her know u won't hold her against u and that she is free and then ask her is that what u wan?"...she may be all crying at this pointt. At that point, tell her to make up her mind that what ever decision she takes is fine but u still love her. Don't shout oh. Then leave her and go to bed. You wud kill her if u do this smoothly and she wud remember for the rest of her life. Now if she comes back crying and begging, you can nowget angry, and then warn her Neva eva to try that with u again. Give her instructions like call him now and tell him its over, delete his number etc. Then go on and love her dis time with plenty adventure.
Her kind of person loves adventure and attention, the moment u take ur eyes off them, they cud fall for someone else weda good or bad.
Goodluck winning ur love back

You made points. I have considered this tactic strongly because even if I'm letting her go, I still want her as a friend. You were right about her liking adventure...she's always like let's go see this movie, let's go strolling, let's go on a road trip, let's try this, let's try that....I do try my best though. A huge part of me thinks it's her adventurous spirit that led to this.

teflonbuzz:

You made points. I have considered this tactic strongly because even if I'm letting her go, I still want her as a friend. You were right about her liking adventure...she's always like let's go see this movie, let's go strolling, let's go on a road trip, let's try this, let's try that....I do try my best though. A huge part of me thinks it's her adventurous spirit that led to this.

Yeah, her kind of person if u get all attackyy, she wud turn everytn against u and u wud feel very stupid plus ur predicament. That's why u need to subtly break her down first. She may end up telling u she did it cus at one point u got too busy and u didn't have her time. People like her can do and be all that for u and even for only u but the moment u remove ur gaze and one guy comes along, they can fall off easily and move too and really shove u behind. Despite the fact that she cheated, trust me, she is a one at time kind of person so u need to act fast cus she can't play d two at a time game well hence she wud soon start making up her mind who to drop. Don't let her drop u, play ur game and don't forget to tell her to choose after u must av given her a one nyt adventure.

Op Yes you love this girl like many before you have loved before.

Now she has broken a sacred promise or agreement you guys had and she has cheated on you.

Yes she has some good qualities and she has really sacrificed for you. Am sure you have done the same for her too or you're will to do the same for her and even more. This is why it's good to employ Korema's tactics, it will convey to her just how much you love her and how much heartbreaking it is for you.

But I am of the school of thought that you should not date this girl anymore. Don't be scared you will find another girl like her, you will be more surprised than you think. You can look at all she has done for you in the past but her current actions also count too especially if you're planning to take her to the altar one day. You must not continue to Chuck this all up to an adventurous spirit. So you're in pain now because on young lady had an adventurous spirit and didn't see fit to have self control added to it? You cannot leave her alone without constant monitoring and attention for a period of time? Do you want to always face the fear of what she might do?

Am telling you this because in the heat of the moment, she might seduce you with promises to stop or it might seem to you with the love in her eyes that she is willing to repent for you but I can bet my last kobo that Miss adventurous will do it again. She already broke one promise before.

Keep her as a friend if you must, though not in the initial stages, but never have anything romantic to do with her again.

Just my 2Kobo.

I smell fp..

WackyJ1:
She'll turn it against him even when presented with proof? How?

Like I said, we share a lot in common. If u attack her, she will attack you back and turn it arround. You will just want to die if u loved her and then u will become all beggy. Imagine dat

@ WackyJ1, on the contrary, if she comes back to him, she wud neva ever try it again. All u need to do then is telll her u love her nd wud do anytn for her, den tell her she shud always tell u wat she wants and how she wants it. Meanwhile, you can't keep her as a frnd trust me, she likes to win hence she must neva smell ur relationship. You either forgive her and take her back or u forgv her and let her go completely. If she wants u back and u don't take her back and u keep her as a frnd, she may ruin ur next relatiosnship, even marriage unless she is God fearing. Remeber, they like to win hence if she can't have u no one else will

WackyJ1:
Op Yes you love this girl like many before you have loved before.

Now she has broken a sacred promise or agreement you guys had and she has cheated on you.

Yes she has some good qualities and she has really sacrificed for you. Am sure you have done the same for her too or you're will to do the same for her and even more. This is why it's good to employ Korema's tactics, it will convey to her just how much you love her and how much heartbreaking it is for you.

But I am of the school of thought that you should not date this girl anymore. Don't be scared you will find another girl like her, you will be more surprised than you think. You can look at all she has done for you in the past but her current actions also count too especially if you're planning to take her to the altar one day. You must not continue to Chuck this all up to an adventurous spirit. So you're in pain now because on young lady had an adventurous spirit and didn't see fit to have self control added to it? You cannot leave her alone without constant monitoring and attention for a period of time? Do you want to always face the fear of what she might do?

Am telling you this because in the heat of the moment, she might seduce you with promises to stop or it might seem to you with the love in her eyes that she is willing to repent for you but I can bet my last kobo that Miss adventurous will do it again. She already broke one promise before.

Keep her as a friend if you must, though not in the initial stages, but never have anything romantic to do with her again.

Exactly. If I ever keep her and say we get married, I am going to spend my life worrying if she'll be a repeat offender. You know the kind of thing where you are scared if you wanna travel without her that she may repeat old ways.
Just my 2Kobo.

Op can u move on with her and not remember what she has done?what happens wen she gets bored again yl u are married?and its more scary cos the thought to kill her came to ur mind.it will b harder if she cheats again after forgiving her for this....do u think history will never repeat itsef?if u are confident then forgive her and stat afresh,if otherwise,keep seing the therapist till u heal cos i dnt want to read in the future dt u are convicted for MURDER!

Eya Bro. Take heart, shit do happen most times. Try and take 2 her and iron tins out, it will not be easy knowing she cheated on U and d love u have 4 her will reduce. Frm ur write up she is worth fighting 4...So if u till really have a little feelings 4 her fight 4 it.

I really really love her. As you can see I'm almost making excuses for her but it's just so hard on me. I can't even sleep anymore. Poo really does happen. For no reason!