hello nairalanders,

My girlfriend has a job and earns above 100k, we are both in our late 20s, same age with me. She is been pestering me with marriage, i keep on telling her i am not ready yet atleast i should be able to take care of my family. she earns morethan i do for now. She told me today she is ready for marriage and ready to fund the wedding budget. She gave me deadline as December 2015.

As a man i am not both financially and psychologically ready for marriage, but i love her very much. I see our future together in marriage but not now.

If she's anxious to get married then there must b a reason she wants to. And since she says she's ready to fund it, I don't see any reason y u shudnt go on with it.
Ur probably concerned bout d fact that it may lead to her bragging about it later on when. Ur married, but its not always d case.
Just gatherwhatver little money u have to add up to it and topay for/ buy d necessary things dat r due on d groom so it won't b like u nelgected all ur responsibility.

If she's anxious to get married then there must b a reason she wants to. And since she says she's ready to fund it, I don't see any reason y u shudnt go on with it.
Ur probably concerned bout d fact that it may lead to her bragging about it later on when. Ur married, but its not always d case.
Just gatherwhatver little money u have to add up to it and topay for/ buy d necessary things dat r due on d groom so it won't b like u nelgected all ur responsibilities.

Firstly, You are not ready for marriage and you shouldn't allow anyone force you into something as delicate as marriage.

Secondly, I believe this woman loves you but that doesn't mean she can rush you into marrying her.
You are a Nigerian man and you should fulfill your responsibilities as a Nigerian man in living in Nigeria, to which funding you own marriage is one of them.

I would advise that you wait till you are ready and you shouldn't allow the lady to solely sponsor your wedding.
I don't know the kind of person she is but one thing is for sure, she is a woman.
And I will tell you one thing for sure. She would definitely use the fact that she sponsored your wedding against you one day.

Finally, the fact that she gave you a deadline shows how desperate or how eager she is to get married.
Desperation does two things. It clouds judgment and it makes one make drastic decisions.

Please be wise.

cowleg:
hello nairalanders,

My girlfriend has a job and earns above 100k, we are both in our late 20s, same age with me. She is been pestering me with marriage, i keep on telling her i am not ready yet atleast i should be able to take care of my family. she earns morethan i do for now. She told me today she is ready for marriage and ready to fund the wedding budget. She gave me deadline as December 2015.

As a man i am not both financially and psychologically ready for marriage, but i love her very much. I see our future together in marriage but not now.

I don't understand that part

qbd2:
If she's anxious to get married then there must b a reason she wants to. And since she says she's ready to fund it, I don't see any reason y u shudnt go on with it.
Ur probably concerned bout d fact that it may lead to her bragging about it later on when. Ur married, but its not always d case.
Just gatherwhatver little money u have to add up to it and topay for/ buy d necessary things dat r due on d groom so it won't b like u nelgected all ur responsibility.

Thanks for your reply, There is no reason for her rush to get married, I understand the fact she is ready as a woman. Told her to give me like 2years atleast expecting breakthrough my end, i just dont feel like a man knowing fully well my wife funded our wedding. Well i will still make use of your advice.

You are not psychologically ready in your late 20's when do you want to be ready

cowleg:
hello nairalanders,

My girlfriend has a job and earns above 100k, we are both in our late 20s, same age with me. She is been pestering me with marriage, i keep on telling her i am not ready yet atleast i should be able to take care of my family. she earns morethan i do for now. She told me today she is ready for marriage and ready to fund the wedding budget. She gave me deadline as December 2015.

As a man i am not both financially and psychologically ready for marriage, but i love her very much. I see our future together in marriage but not now.

If you are not psychologically ready, then you aren't ready. Forget the financial part... you aren't just ready. Whether she wants to fund it or not is insignificant here.

kpolli:


I don't understand that part

Means i am not mentally ready to pass through the rigors of a married man for now. Thanks for your contribution missclasssy

@ missclasssy. we women are our problem, if reverse was the case there probably wouldn't have been a problem.
both of u are in ur late twenties and she probably have planned when to settle down as time is not on her side.
there are probably pressure on her to bring sum one home. it takes sum one how truely loves u to do such looking at it from a different angle. if u don't love enough to settle down free her so some else can come her way.

missclasssy:
Firstly, You are not ready for marriage and you shouldn't allow anyone force you into something as delicate as marriage.

Secondly, I believe this woman loves you but that doesn't mean she can rush you into marrying her.
You are a Nigerian man and you should fulfill your responsibilities as a Nigerian man in living in Nigeria, to which funding you own marriage is one of them.

I would advise that you wait till you are ready and you shouldn't allow the lady to solely sponsor your wedding.
I don't know the kind of person she is but one thing is for sure, she is a woman.
And I will tell you one thing for sure. She would definitely use the fact that she sponsored your wedding against you one day.

Finally, the fact that she gave you a deadline shows how desperate or how eager she is to get married.
Desperation does two things. It clouds judgment and it makes one make drastic decisions.

Please be wise.

You know, sometimes i feel there are two people using this same account
Some of her comments are so on point
Yet some are so ...

write2obi:

You know, sometimes i feel there are two people using this same account
Some of her comments are so on point
Yet some are so ...

Read up on Human Psychology

cowleg:


Means i am not mentally ready to pass through the rigors of a married man for now. Thanks for your contribution missclasssy

The way people look at marriage is the reason why most marriages of today crash..... Marriage is not about the word "marriage" but about the companion... If you feel you can spend the rest of your life with this woman, then you can marry.... It's not a mental issue whereby your psyche tells you "I'm ready" and then you start looking for who to marry....

Cook the meal you're going to eat, don't wait till you're hungry and have to go to Iya Seyi to buy any meal you see

But that doesn't mean I support marry your girlfriend, she is acting too desperate

In where am from, A man marrys a woman not the other way round, wait until you are ready(financially and emotionally), if she can't wait let her find another man.

missclasssy:


Read up on Human Psychology

Oh! You mean you are smart but sometime pretend to be lame , or you are lame but sometimes come across as some smartass

write2obi:

Oh! You mean you are smart but sometime pretend to be lame , or you are lame but sometimes come across as some smartass

A good pianist can chose to play bad tunes but a bad pianist can never play a good tune.

Connect her to me.. am ready to marry her before the stipulated deadline cos am psychological ready for marriage but NA money dey yabb man.... waiting for your response @Op..

cowleg:


Thanks for your reply, There is no reason for her rush to get married, I understand the fact she is ready as a woman. Told her to give me like 2years atleast expecting breakthrough my end, i just dont feel like a man knowing fully well my wife funded our wedding. Well i will still make use of your advice.

2 years is a long time don't u think?