I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. - Family (5)

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I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by activefibre1(m): 12:54am On May 16, 2015

u married her becos of her father's wealth...they spoilt their daughter....now you cant control your home....pity.

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Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by REMMEI(m): 12:59am On May 16, 2015

creepsyme:
bro sincerely having anything to do wit them is like a time bomb that will definitley explode, I distance myself from them like a plague, pls be properly guided a word is enof for the wise.

Chei!.. God why?...

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by JesusDWay(m): 1:01am On May 16, 2015

I think you should be careful with the woman. I would have expected her to chide the daughter seriously and should have even been the one to volunteer reporting the matter to her husband but it doesn't appear she did. Infact, for her to make an attempt at covering the whole thing should be somewhat worrisome. Besides, if everything is the way you have said it, I won't be surprised if your wife runs away with another man tomorrow. For her to be cheating after 2 children and 6years of marriage, and with a younger man for that matter shows there's likely a discontent somewhere and it doesn't appear you have addressed it.

I will say you question her very well and know where the problem lies and see what you can do about it.

It's a great thing you did with the forgiveness, it's Christlike but be watchful as well.

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by poseidon12: 1:07am On May 16, 2015

Kulas:
Are u telling me that a guy is bleeping ur wife for five years? Or are u just joking and not sure of what you are saying,may be u just see them chatting romantically?.Hmm,anyway if u are sure that ur fellow man had been sleeping with ur wife for 5 years and u acted d way u did,then truly GMB administration suppose to give u national honor..Summit your name to Seun and let's follow it up.

I think what he meant is that the wife is older than her lover by 5 years.

1 Like

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by Ossaifamous(m): 1:09am On May 16, 2015

the issue here is you cave in too quickly well only you know whats best for the family but ur wife got off too easy

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by Ossaifamous(m): 1:10am On May 16, 2015

poseidon12:

I think what he meant is that the wife is older than her lover by 5 years.

thats what he meant older than 5 yrs pls make una nor insult the man

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by OROSUNBOLB(m): 1:37am On May 16, 2015

Guy what are you saying? You caught your wife cheating on you and you are here seeking our opinions whether or not you are being rude to your MIL ? And you equally allowed that adulterous woman back into your house because you respect her father ! I think you're a special breed ! I strongly doubt if you will ever enjoy your marriage to your so-called wife again;don't forget you told us that the boy lives in your neighbourhood ! You honestly need to re-caption your story because I personally consider your MIL's issue quite irrelevant. Good luck to you!

2 Likes

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by Nobody: 1:54am On May 16, 2015

dinachi:

The only frank genuine advice from a good woman here! As for supporters of evil like babyosisi and co whose stock in trade is evil and malicious advice, learn from a real woman here.
@Op the first mistake you made was allowing your wife back to the house. That LovePeddler of a wife should have been sent parking immediately. Then undertake a DNA test on your kids.Take custody of your kids and start looking for a new life. If you have done all this, then the mother in law would have learnt to respect you but since she feels that you are not man enough to take the tough decisions, she can now afford to even bear malice. Listen you are the one that is supposed to bear malice and show your anger. Don't let those witches dominate you. Since you have made the mistake of taking your wife back, pls totally ignore that insolent babyosisi kind of MIL and have your peace. I can assure you though that your adulterous wife will cheat again.

Cococandy you see how love is killing this boy
A thread I haven't even showed up at
Na wa o
Di di
Nna contact i nu m privately yom ayiyo si m na suga na gu gi
Lovu ga ha agbapu kwa gi ara

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by cococandy(f): 2:25am On May 16, 2015

babyosisi:

Cococandy you see how love is killing this boy
A thread I haven't even showed up at
Na wa o
Di di
Nna contact i nu m privately yom ayiyo si m na suga na gu gi
Lovu ga ha agbapu kwa gi ara

the thing ehn

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by Silasthegreat(m): 2:29am On May 16, 2015

Ralphlauren:

i agree

he must be one in a million

after forgiving their cheating daughter, his MIL still has the audacity to be giving him attitude. SMH !

Maybe he's also a player,,,,, just saying! For me, that would end the union!!!

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by nkem123(m): 2:46am On May 16, 2015

de2oye:

Thanks for your response, I've decided to stay away until this particular relative of hers got sick and I felt it won't be nice to pretend that I don't know about it, I inquired the whereabout so as to go and visit him in the hospital. Besides, the MIL keep on telling my wife that I'm being rude to her and that would I have treated my own mother the same way.

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by nkem123(m): 2:49am On May 16, 2015

de2oye:

Thanks for your response, I've decided to stay away until this particular relative of hers got sick and I felt it won't be nice to pretend that I don't know about it, I inquired the whereabout so as to go and visit him in the hospital. Besides, the MIL keep on telling my wife that I'm being rude to her and that would I have treated my own mother the same way.

brother, thank God for d grace upon u to be able to accept her back.
I dnt think I can do same if I were in ur shoe, even cheating girlfriends dnt have it back with me nt to talk of wife.I will take my kids and push her out without a pin including her phones and Sims
I wount even consult her parents, nt talk my mother inlaw having d temerity to be harsh to me after all her adulterous daughter did.I will treat her fuckup without remorse.
I hail u oooh.

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by Jonwesley(m): 2:56am On May 16, 2015

andromida:
I don't understand why you are angry, your MIL dos not want you to know about her relatives so what? If you have forgiven your wife and you are at peace with your decision face your immediate family and forget about the MIL anytime your paths cross you simply be polite and kind to her you don't have to be buddies with your MIL.

Well spoken, Keep your marriage, avoid third party influences. Your wife ought to come out of this stronger. The mother has a hand in this.

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by showafrica(m): 2:56am On May 16, 2015

Phema:
I think you are channeling your energy in the wrong direction. You should be more concerned about your wife's infidelity and whether or not the kids you call yours are truly yours, rather you are here whining about what your MIL thinks of you.

Does your MIL really understand the gravity of the offence her daughter committed? Is she aware her daughter was/is a sugar mummy? I doubt she is, cos if she were, the last thing on her mind will be how rude you are.

Again i say, channel your energy in the right direction. Thank you.

tru talk, op go check dna of ur children oo

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by chaz007(f): 3:00am On May 16, 2015

focus7:
Guy you are acting as a kid. Since you have chosen to let the matter between you and your wife go, your attitude towards your mother inlaw is unnecessary, if she's acting as a normal woman will act, you should display more courtesy pursuing peaceful relationship between you, you have to come to term with the facts that your inlaws are part of your extended family so there shouldn't be need to be prolonging and promoting animosity. That woman deserves every respect you can afford regardless what she has done, you don't make things right by doing wrong.

You must be a kid for saying this. First of all, are u old enough to tell him he's acting like a kid? Second of all, do u know how it feels to catch ur partner cheating on u? U think it is that easy to let go or forgive and forget immediately? The fact the mother conversed with her daughter in discreet, it's clear she's the fault-covering kind of mother. Her daughter must have taken after her.

I'll like to see ur reaction when u catch ur wife in bed with a younger guy and ur MIL tells u u shldnt be angry that it's one of those things

2 Likes

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by Curvinus(m): 3:03am On May 16, 2015

The culprit has already confessed to the crime and has gone a step further to beg for mercy. Her parents have also joined her in begging for forgiveness and our man in the house with a magnanimous spirit has forgiven her.

But for some people to come here and want to hang on to a non-existent alibi or try to seek loopholes in a matter that is as clear as daylight is a tad irresponsible.

Anyway, since the OP's objective is for peace to reign, I'd advise you make peace with all the parties concerned and let the rest blow away. I've come to understand in life that the more you hang on to hurtful vibes, the harder it becomes for you to live a normal life.

But I hope you tried to find out why your wife cheated because this is very essential in trying to ensure that it doesn't happen again.

Nevertheless, I must praise you for braving the odds to walk the path you chose, at least for the benefit of your innocent kids. The way I see it, this was a choice between ego/esteem and common sense and in the end, common sense prevailed. Hopefully, you'd get around to finding total reconciliation and happiness in your family.

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Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by Nobody: 3:07am On May 16, 2015

de2oye:
I am a Yoruba man and I got married to an Ebira lady from Kogi state about six years ago. The marriage has been blessed with 2 sons. We lived happily together in the same city while my mother Inlaw lives in another part of the same city, as such we used to visit her together occasionally.

Sometimes last year, my wife told me she want to go and visit her mother Inlaw and I permitted her to go. Accidentally, I had a an unusual call from my office and I decided to branch and join my wife there since my office is just a stone throw from my Inlaw's place. I didn't inform my wife. As I got there, I requested for her phone to enable me make an important call since I've run out of power on mine. She was reluctant to release the phone and I could easily deduced that all is not well. That makes me go further and I to check her chat history. I was amazed and find it difficult that my wife of six years is having an affair with a much younger guy she's older than for at least five years. She started begging me that she can explain, explain what?. I was totally disappointed and confused, I left the place immediately and told her not to even bother coming to my own house again. The funniest thing was that I know this particular guy to be our Neighbour and he used to come to our house and I do give him money at times because he's a student. While all this was going on, the mother Inlaw was not around.

I decided to call her on phone and tell her what happened because the father inlaw was out of the country as at the time of the incidence. The woman pleaded that I should come back and I obliged, the first thing she did that really surprised me was that she started talking to her daughter in their local language known fully well that I don't understand a bit of it and both of them can speak both Yoruba and English fluently. What could she be telling her daughter after I showed her the chat history because I didn't release the phone since that's d only evidence I have against her. I was really angry and rose, I frankly told her that when she's ready to talk to me I will come back, she realized her mistake and refuse to allow me to go. I later left her there and decided to tell the father on phone. He pleaded that I should please allow her back into my house with d kids and I allowed them back only because of the innocent kids and the fact that I respected the man so much. Since then, we 'be never be in good terms again; I mean myself and the mother because she's not happy with the involvement of the father. I decided not to go to their house again except if the father is around.

About 2 months after, the father was around and he tried to settle the whole issue and I decided to let go. To worsen the situation, there was a particular day I went to their house on my way back from office, I was with my mother Inlaw and I asked about one of her relatives who was sick, the answer she gave me was that she didn't know his whereabout which I know she's lying and still keeping the malice. Since then I stopped going there and I have made up my mind not to ever visit her again. Kindly advise, I'm I wrong here?

I SEE NOTHING WRONG WITH THE MOM. I COULD DO SAME. I HAVE TO HEAR FROM MY DAUGHTER FIRST B4 MAKING CONCLUSIONS..... I WOULD REQUEST SECRET CONVERSATION WITH HER FIRST, THEN BOTH.

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by Vikfarad(m): 3:26am On May 16, 2015

stonecoldcafe:

Strictly speaking she is right. Call history merely tells I have been communicating with a certain person. It may mean we are talking often but that does not mean I'm screwing the person.

Again if I apologize and say I can explain that remains a blank cheque. A lady can apologize and say I was in constant communication cos of xyz, sorry I should have told you. Still does not mean she is shagging anyone.

PS: I like to give people the benefit of doubt.

Tell me why she was relunctant to release her phone

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by Nobody: 3:45am On May 16, 2015

You are a monster. You precepitated it.

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by Tinkybabe(f): 3:46am On May 16, 2015

lovaleenny:

If your wife of 5yrs truly truly cheated on you I don't think you'll find it that easy to welcome her back to your home regardless of whether you respect her father or not...that's why I feel this story is one-sided. I don't think it's advisable for everyone to be talking based on what the op said coz usually there are three sides to every story, his truth, her truth,and THE REAL TRUTH.

True!

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by italo: 4:07am On May 16, 2015

focus7:
Guy you are acting as a kid. Since you have chosen to let the matter between you and your wife go, your attitude towards your mother inlaw is unnecessary, if she's acting as a normal woman will act, you should display more courtesy pursuing peaceful relationship between you, you have to come to term with the facts that your inlaws are part of your extended family so there shouldn't be need to be prolonging and promoting animosity. That woman deserves every respect you can afford regardless what she has done, you don't make things right by doing wrong.

^^^

This up here, is why nairaland needs a "dislike" button.

3 Likes

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by Mavor: 4:13am On May 16, 2015

She cheated on you and life goes on??!! Stupid weak man.

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by italo: 4:15am On May 16, 2015

Jonwesley:

Well spoken, Keep your marriage, avoid third party influences. Your wife ought to come out of this stronger. The mother has a hand in this.

Clear as daylight.

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by adorable29(f): 4:18am On May 16, 2015

Am imagining if the gender was reversed and it was a wife that wrote this. The comments am reading here would have been complete opposites!

Nigerian women are really suffering in the hands of their men.

OP, your mother-in-law is not your priority. Your wife is and I must say thumps up for forgiving your wife. If every married spouse decides not to forgive their cheating partner in this country, then 90percent of present marriages will NOT EXIST!

But again, (in a rather sarcastic tone) maybe there is something she is not getting at home that's making her go outside. PRAY for her. Love her more and try and be wearing neat and sexy boxers. Give it to her like 3 rounds everynight! I bet you she will never go out.

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Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by Homguy(m): 5:34am On May 16, 2015

aflyingbird:
you're citing things not stated in the op . op never said anything about content. he saw her chat history , which , as far as i'm concerned , doesn't confirm she was "cheating " on him. all he saw was the chat history/call history/logs . the content is unknown . he said "chat history" which's synonymous to call history or call logs . the only way we would be talking about content is if he saw texts but he saw call history . don't start putting words into his mouth . op also knew the young man ( both of then knew him ) so he noticed his number on her chat history , which is why he concluded she was cheating and wouldn't listen to what she had to say . stick to the facts, abeg .

op never said anything about content? When he said contents of the chat revealed she was cheating, and she didn't even attempt to reute it later on? Whats her business calling a single, guy so much? Look you are either in support of cheating, or you do it yourself as you have deliberately decided to ignore Ops points.

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by Ahmeduana(m): 5:36am On May 16, 2015

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

UNA DEY SEE BIRD OF THE SAME FEATHER, WATING THE WOMAN WAN TALK? HER HUSBNE CUT HER RED HANDED!

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by Ahmeduana(m): 5:36am On May 16, 2015

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

UNA DEY SEE BIRD OF THE SAME FEATHER, WATING THE WOMAN WAN TALK? HER HUSBNE CUT HER RED HANDED.

1 Like

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by chibic(m): 6:23am On May 16, 2015

adorable29:

Nigerian women are really suffering in the hands of their men.

.

they are suffering and yet they are the only women in the world too desperate to get married. Nigerian men are always scared of getting married because our women makes life unbearable once you bring them into ur home.

activefibre1:
u married her becos of her father's wealth...they spoilt their daughter....now you cant control your home....pity.

this is exactly my thought. He called the FIL to hear his opinion and accepted the sl.ut back because he asked him to do so. This shows that the FIL made him who he is now. Maybe he works in their company. If not, I don't see why the MIL will be feeling fly even when her daughter have been adulterous. Plus it seems OP does not have his own familly. He's supposed to discuss it with his mom and dad and hear from them too. He needs support from his familly because he come across as a weak man. As for the ssluty wife, I'm sure this may not be the first guy she's cheating with. And the fact that they have been doing this for five years (one year into her marriage) smh shows how much of a wwhore she is, and might have been sleeping with the guy even before she met her hubby. You know these typical nigerian girls that will leave their BF to marry a ready man. They'll continue sleeping with him even after traditional wedding. They may sleep with him a day to their wedding or a week to their wedding as a way of saying goodbye. But after a few yrs into their marriage, they'll start having the hunger to ffuck their ex again. This is the reason why naija women are mostly guilty of cheating on their husbands with their exes.

Recently my friends ex visited him and initiated a sex between them. After the sex, she surprised him with an invitation card of her wedding which will take place in two weeks time. If you are the husband to be and you find out, how will you feel? She's already cheating on him, and it won't stop after marriage. This is nigerian women for you.

1 Like

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by todayguest(m): 6:35am On May 16, 2015

RELEASEUS:
hehehe bros you badt...sure my 6 year old girl knows the difference between call and chat...the agbaya no know...na wa o.

to him a chat can only be by voice{audio}.

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by redcliff: 6:40am On May 16, 2015

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

You are very very silly

1 Like

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by lizzygrace(f): 6:42am On May 16, 2015

andromida:
I don't understand why you are angry, your MIL dos not want you to know about her relatives so what? If you have forgiven your wife and you are at peace with your decision face your immediate family and forget about the MIL anytime your paths cross you simply be polite and kind to her you don't have to be buddies with your MIL.

shut up!
Are you not a woman?
Maybe you will flirt or you are a flirt sef.

Re: I'm I being rude to my mother Inlaw. by pak: 6:57am On May 16, 2015

freecocoa:
I can agree that he jumped into conclusions as to why MIL spoke her dialect but what was left to explain after he'd read the chat and his wife pleading?

God bless freecocoa..... Just love your objectivity

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