SECOND SEMESTER EXAMINATION.
GENERAL PAPER
Time: 1hr 30 mins

Section A (Answer all questions)

1a) How many chibok girls were kidnapped and state d reason for their kidnapped?(20marks)

1B-) The question “Na only you waka come was said by who and to who? Why dis xclamation “chai there‘s is God oo!(15marks)

2a. What are the names of the two people holding hands when you switch on a Nokia phone ?(10 marks)

2b. If the past tense of Take is Took, what is the past tense of Make ?(10marks)

3. Which university in Nigeria has the highest number of ladies using blackberry phones?

4. If Buhari is a friend to Obasanjo on facebook, who sent the friend request and why ?

5. if the cost of moi-moi is N10.50, what is the cost of moi ?

6. Who ate the missing part of the apple logo?

SECTION B (Answer All. 10 Marks each)

1. Between the Nigerian police and Nigerian girls, who likes money more?

2. Using the almighty formula, calculate the diameter of elegushi beach. (take pi=3.142)

3. If Ada is a girl and Obi is a boy, who is Adaobi ?

4. If your X-boyfriend/X-Girlfriend wins N50,000,000 on who wants to be a millionaire a day after you guys broke up, find the value of X?

5. If it takes Goodluck 1 hour to deliver a typed speech in a national conference, how many days will it take Patience to deliver the same speech on the same occasion? Assuming the polarity of the audience is kept constant.

SECTION C (Answer 2)

1) Tuface was given a Prado and Ferarri on his traditional wedding and white wedding respectively. There is every likelihood that D Banj has gone ahead to print wedding invitation cards without an available bride. Discuss (20Marks)

2) Write a short essay of 500 words on 'My Oga At The Top' (15 Marks)

3) What's the name of the lady that use to say "please enter your secret number" at the ATM center of the banks. State reasons why she was chosen and explain too (20 Marks)

START.

Lol . This is serious!

Sir,Jesus Christ is d answer

Very nice one OP, got me holding my tummy

Section A
1a.The number of chibok girls are 300 and they were kidnapped as a result of politically influenced war disguised in form of a terrorist group called boko haram.
1b.The statement was made by the ex firstlady of nigeria and to the principal of the school where the chibok girls were kidnapped.the exclamation was made as a result that only the principal waka come n the people were not there for their firstlady to help them oh.
2a.The people holding hands are animated representation of oneness as described by thhe nokia company.
2b.I presume it should be mook and not made lol.
3.The censor companies of blackberry in universities are on temporary shut down,as soon as they are back the answer will be made available to you.
4.I guess obasanjo did cos the latter will be better than the former or former former former.
5. N5.25 lol
6.It was eaten by the founder so it will not be stolen cos no one would pick or steal an apple with a biten part/mark.

SECTION B

1.Nigeria police like money more cos even the ladies of the night work mostly at night but the nigeria police work day and night,girls won't take 20 or 50 naira but they see it as good business(if in between day n night even dey dem go work too).
2.I for know am if I go school oh but as I nor go I nor bother as e be say who nor go sch sef dey get big big contract n who go dey work 4 am mostly seen only in nigeria.
3.Na boy girl na,I talk am b4 say I know book pass dele cos dele na odoyor(he nor know anytin).
4.The value of x is that I dey play well well and na only wen beta tin dey come nai I take dey do like dat so dat e go come fast fast make witch nor put eye stop am.
5. 60 minutes makes one hour and 24 hours make one day so 60*24 =1440 days

SECTION C
1. Prado n Ferarri is equivalent to any babe accepting to be bride at the d day cos women and luxury are at pararrel lines which intertwix like accident but on a constant base.so dbanj may likely do so as a result of one having clean shaved head and the other stylos,one with numerous rumour on women and father to numerous kid while the other koko master with limited rumour with no proof.
3.She is the first lady of the ATM group and she was chosen cos she is the only one who can make men withdraw from their account more than they desired without knowing why.

oga i rank u D best joker of d week in a century''''kary on jooooooo!!