Omotola Ekeinde,

WARTS & ALL
Confesses: I dated other men while dating my hubby
Friday, February 13, 2009

In this interview Hollywood actress and mother of four Omotala Jolade Ekeinde aka Omosexy talks about how she got into acting, her husband and what has kept her marriage going. Omotola Jolade Ekeinde in her own words.


•Omotala




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Background

I am the first child of three children and the only daughter. I was born in Lagos. My father is from Ondo State My mother is from Abeokuta in Ogun State. My father’s name is Sola Jolade he used to be the manager for Lagos Country Club Ikeja. My mum was a business woman. My father died in 1991, I was in secondary school when he died. My mum died 10 years after in 2001. I attended Chrisland Primary School Opebi, Command Secondary School Kaduna and did one year in Oxford School Santos Layout. I had a stint at Obafemi Awolowo University ile-Ife, I later got admission into Yaba College Of Technology to read Estate Management. My acting career had already taken off before I got into Yaba Tech just to fufill all righteousness.

I was a troublesome child. I was the only child of my parents for a long time so I was a bit over-pampered. So when I act a bit spoilt it’s not because I am an actor. I actually grew up like that. I was my daddy’s pet because I was the only girl. I went to a military school and I was really rough-handled because I was a little thwart. I was very popular in school. I was not a sporty person. I was very lazy. I loved to dance and mime. While in secondary school my friends and I formed a group. We were three in the group and after school you will find us singing and dancing on the road. I could mime to any popular song back then and singing on the road got me a lot of lifts. We used to demonstrate on the road as if we were on stage taking turns to mime to songs. It was really fun. We just assumed we were superstars and everybody on the road came to watch us perform on stage

My mum had a lot of influence on me. She was very strict on me. And I was spoiled rotten by my dad. I was virtually living in Lagos Country Club. From school I went straight to the club. I stayed with my father in the club. I never liked going back home after school because of my mum. My mum used to beat me. My father had no qualms about me staying with him at the Club. But then I was not even with him. I was always on my own having fun, swimming, meeting people. It was at the club that I met movers and shakers. As little as I was I already had a mind of my own. I wanted to do things my own way. My mother used to beat me, punch me out, sit on me just to break me. She did a lot of things to me that she wouldn’t think of doing to a child. That kind of thing terrified me. We never got along I used to question if she really was my mum. We were like cat and dog. I did everything I could do to avoid her problems.

On acting

I started acting as soon as I left secondary school while awaiting my JAMB results. Even while I was in Ife reading Economics my acting career had started. I left Ife in my first year because I was getting married and my husband felt it was too far. So I had to get a school in Lagos. I got in to Yaba Tech in 1996 and I got married that same year. I decided to read Estate Management, because I realized that I didn’t like Economics while I was in Ife,

My modeling career started before my acting career. I started when I left secondary school. I had modeled for two years before my acting career. I did mostly calendar jobs. One day while waiting for the casting for a modeling job to start. One of the girls that came for the casting asked if I would like to come with her to an audition she was going for. The casting was taking too long to start so I decided to go with her. She didn’t get the role she auditioned for but she encouraged me to audition for a role I did and I got the part.

The audition was for Nneka. The part was a lead mermaid role. When I told my mum about it, she said the part was not right for me. Because she believed if I played the role I would be disturbed by evil spirit. My mother was very superstitious. So I didn’t play the role. But that already aroused my interest in acting. So the next audition I heard about I went for it. It was for a movie titled “The Testament” It was a Swift Studio production. I got the lead role Tunde Obe was supposed to be my lead man. I was 16 years old then it was in 1995. And my mum refused to let me act in the movie because she said there was too much kissing and romancing. She said I would be ostrized from church if I played a role like that. My mother was a member of the Christ Apostolic Church. This is a church I didn’t actually used to go to. Which was weird, my mum was a very strict Egba woman.

So I had to say bye to that role too. The first movie I did in 1995 ‘Venom Of justice’ the director Reginald Ebere had to go talk to my mum. In those days for you to get me to play a role in your movie my mum had to approve of the role and you. From Kingsley Ogoro to Zeb Ejiiro. Zeb even suffered the most because he became like my godfather. Zeb always had to talk to my mum on behalf of other producers and directors that I had to work with. In those days unlike now you can’t do one movie and become a star, Back then people were not paying attention. Your name must have gone round the industry before you will now probably be known in the outside world. I was popular with producers before I could be showcased for the outside world. A lot of protocol then unlike now.

Initially when I started acting there was no pressure. Unlike now, when I am called for a job producers and directors have so much expectations because I have done a lot of work for other people.

On sex for role

There were no challenges back then for me. I try not to do more than I can. I wasn’t really desperate to be an actor. I never got sexualy harassed or anything like that. Most of the roles I got then were lead roles and it wasn’t like I struggled to get them. I have never had a sex for role offer. First and foremost I think I deserve all I got. I think that happen most of the time when u don’t deserve it. And they tell you they want to give it to you. When I hear that I just walk away. I won’t let any one dampen my spirit by telling me I am not good enough for something, A lot of actresses reek of desperation that is why they fall a victim. Somebody dirty is going to take advantage of you.

On her mariage

I got married at 18. I don’t know why some people find that strange. For him it has nothing to do with age. In fact he waited for me to be 18, age of consent to marry me. I was 16 when he met me and he was 26. He was working with Harry Akande then and was stationed in Bahamas. My mum felt I was getting married too early he wanted us to wait. We did the court wedding in 1996 and the traditional in 2001 after we had had three kids. My mum was at the registry, She was a signatory. I met him in 1994 I had not started acting then but I was already a model. I have always been a very mature person. When I was 14 I looked 18 when I was 15 a lot of people thought I was in my 20’s. I lost my father early so I had to grow up fast. I am not so sure I think I was 12 or `13 years old when I lost my dad.

On dating other men

Yes I had dated other men before I met my husband. And I still dated other men while with him and he never stopped me from dating them. We had a very comfortable relationship and no pressure from anywhere.

On her husband

My husband had no problem about my career and would never. Is whatever makes me happy. He supports me a lot. I went back to set after my first child was just one month old, I was on the set of “Day Break”. He goes to the market. I don’t and he doesn’t mind doing that. He is my number one fan. He watches my movies like a critic. The only scene he is not enthusiastic about is the romantic scenes. But I got to do what I have to do.

On what keeps her marriage going

It’s God. For me when I met him it wasn’t love at first sight. But he said it was love for him. But even then before we got married he told me he prayed about it. According to him he had to submit the names of the girls he was dating then to pastors so they could pray about it to know who is the right girl for him. We are not interested in friends We don’t have friends that influence our lives. We don’t make it a must to hang out with friends. I don’t discus him with friends and the same applies to him. He does not discuss me with anybody even his parent to the best of my knowledge.

On bad publicity

First and foremost my husband does not read junk. He is a pilot he is like a bird always flying. I don’t think anybody will be so dumb to show my husband a bad publication about me. We don’t dwell on such things. When the pictures of the role that I played in the movie ‘The Prostitutes’ was published. It was one of those make or break times in my career. We talked about it. The talk was actually for me because I was upset and depressed about it. And he was the one that did the consoling. The pictures were splashed in the papers as if I did that scene in the movie. The scandal did not affect us.

There are so many things I had told him about me. Any body writing about it is like behind schedule. And you don’t even have a clue.

On love advances

I have never dated anybody in the industry. I do get love advances and I just enjoy it, I am a girl. I don’t have to be people’s enemies because I am married. Most of these men end up being friends with me. People will always say whatever they want to say If you know that a guy wanted to date me and suddenly we are friends and that means we are going out. That is your problem. If you think we are dating Yes we are, eat your heart out. Yes I do flirt for a while, every girl flirts. I let you know you are just a toy just an amusing thing. I might just enjoy taking your calls but the minute I am irritated I just stop taking your calls.

On dreams

Oh yes totally I am living my dreams. I am a very happy person. I get shocked when people say I am a snub. I understand that I could be a bitch. But then I could be the most lovely person you ever met. I am a very complex person. I have multiple personalities and I don’t know when any of those personalities will raise it’s head. It depends on what is thrown at me. So anybody who says I was nice to her and she was bitch right back at me, that person is a liar and will rut in hell.

Her defifinition of love

Love is deeper than a feeling. If I had that feeling I wouldn’t probably be married to the person I am married to. All those feelings that gets your adrenalin pumping is not love. It is lust. That comes with the rush and goes with the rush. And when you go and marry with that kind of adrenalin it is risky. Love is tolerant, friendly, caring, devoted and most of all selfless.

There is no way you can love and be selfish. Being in love is different from love. You can be in love and don’t love the person. And when you love genuinely if you both go your separate ways there would be no fight you stil be friends And don’t be afraid to be kinky with your wife. And don’t be holy holy if you are your husband is gone. Be kinky holy. Keep it exciting and romantic.

all these journalists sef.
the title is misleading.

funmi, what's with the misleading title?

she said she dated men whilst still dating her hubby prior to wedding . . .how many men would take that ?

geddit ?

Dr Kitaun:

she said she dated men whilst still dating her hubby prior to wedding . . .how many men would take that ?

geddit ?

Kitaunnnnnnnnnnnn

I got married at 18. I don’t know why some people find that strange. For him it has nothing to do with age. In fact he waited for me to be 18, age of consent to marry me. I was 16 when he met me and he was 26.

did you guys noticed she said she married at 18? she was still a child for goodness sake. she must be in her 40s. so we are talking 20something yrs ago

JJYOU:

did you guys noticed she said she married at 18? she was still a child for goodness sake. she must be in her 40s. so we are talking 20something yrs ago

I was 16 years old then it was in 1995

Did you see this part of the interview? Do your calculations sir

deor03:

Did you see this part of the interview? Do your calculations sir

so what is your point?

18, child? JJ YOU are funny

C2H5OH:

18, child?     JJ YOU are funny

adult 18/ big madam is that better?

JJYOU:

adult 18/ big madam is that better?

I don't wanna know.

JJYOU:

did you guys noticed she said she married at 18? she was still a child for goodness sake. she must be in her 40s. so we are talking 20something yrs ago

she is definitely not older than 31 my dear but i do agree that 18 is a bit young

funmi, what's with the misleading title?

Why is the title misleading?. Read part of the interview below:

On dating other men

Yes I had dated other men before I met my husband. And I still dated other men while with him and he never stopped me from dating them. We had a very comfortable relationship and no pressure from anywhere.

Omotola is half educated, so it's either she doesn't understand the meaning of dating or her husband is sick unless she's lying. Which Nigerian man will let you date other men with him?.

OsunAmazon:

Why is the title misleading?. Read part of the interview below:

Omotola is half educated, so it's either she doesn't understand the meaning of dating or her husband is sick unless she's lying. Which Nigerian man will let you date other men with him?.

you are making it sound as if dating means "sleeping togeda or having some kinda intimate relationship wt someone

maybe she meant,dat she went out on a few or more dates whilst "with" her hubby,if u read carefuly she did not say "i dated other men,whilst dating my hubby" yea she might have gone out on a couple of dates wt other men,but still does not make her a cheat d way some of u r putting it

as long as no man has put the  ring on my finger or taking me to the altar,i have a right to go out on a date wt other men,cos no man has me yet

everything stops when i am finally a wife

you are making it sound as if dating means "sleeping togeda or having some kinda intimate relationship wt someone

maybe she meant,dat she went out on a few or more dates whilst "with" her hubby,if u read carefuly she did not say "i dated other men,whilst dating my hubby" y[b]ea she might have gone out on a couple of dates wt other men,but still does not make her a cheat d way some of u r putting it[/b]



everything stops when i am finally a wife

It amazes me how we women justify cheating whenever it's from our side but condemn men at the slightest opportunity. Yes, they were not married but they were dating  and going out with other men while she was with her fiance constitutes cheating.


Will you let your boyfriend date other women freely as long as you people are not married?. And who told you there was no sex/kissing involved in those dates? Just because she didn't go in details doesn't mean they never happened.  It's not as if you want her to say that she was bleeping other men while she was with her husband.

Girl, dating can mean anything and it's only the two people involved have the power to define it.

as long as no man has put the  ring on my finger or taking me to the altar,i have a right to go out on a date wt other men,cos no man has me yet

Of course, as long as you let the men to do the same with other women while courting you.

It amazes me how we women justify cheating whenever it's from our side but condemn men at the slightest opportunity. Yes, they were not married but they were dating  and going out with other men while she was with her fiance constitutes cheating.

we r not justfiying anything,i can as well go out on a friendly date wt other man whilst engaged,does it mean im cheating on him?for her to have even told him dat she was going out on dates,is enoff proof to show dat she might not have anything behind her

Will you let your boyfriend date other women freely as long as you people are not married?.

listen,whether i know or not d dude is free to go out on a date wt anybody,as long as its a friendly one,and even if it isnt,i dont own him,same way he does not own me,he is only a fiance and not a husband,now dats d difference

And who told you there was no sex/kissing involved in those dates? Just because she didn't go in details doesn't mean they never happened.

now let me re direct dat qstion to u,who told u sex/kissing was involved,she did not go into details,so both of us have no proof dat it was involved or not

It's not as if you want her to say that she was bleeping other men while she was with her husband.

atleast her hubby confessed on air(after she acted one film d prostitute) and i watched it dat his wife was a virgin when he married her in those days,that is part of d bond dat has kept them togeda,no matter wat kinda scene she acts on location,so fucking my dear,is out of it

Of course, as long as you let the men to do the same with other women while courting you.

he is free to,i have said it a couple of times,i dont own him,so if he wants,let him go out on a date wt several women,i can go out a date wt men,but does it mean im ahving an affair wt them,fucking or making love with them?

common

omotola was even fair enoff to tell her hubby,if she had other ulterior motives,maybe she wouldnt have told him

she didnt say she was a virgin. most 16 - 18 yrs old are sexually active in nigeria. what is her true age by the way?

She's 27 or 28 now.

Umm, no she's 30 or 29 going on 30 since she was 16 in '95.

I agree with busy _ body, when two people aren't married, they don't own eachother. But unfortunately, that's not how things work in real life. Why then do most girl/boy friends cry foul when they catch eachother kissing someone else? It's cheating! Married or not especially if you're both engaged because the two already have some sort of emotional connection.

Since Omotola's husband was aware of her dating other men, I wouldn't call it cheating. Hence the title is misleading and unnecessary.

@chiogo  thank u my sister,i am engaged does not mean i own a man,dat my man went out on a date does not mean hes having an affair,neitger does it mean he isnt having an affair,my mum will always say that "no woman owns a man until hes taking her to the altar,and no man owns a woman until hes walked down the aisle with her" if marriages can break up,then wat is engagement,ive seen pple dat r engaged but later married someone else,dis is life,omotolas husband was aware of the whole thing and still married her,u think men r fools?d dude might have watched her and discovered dat her dates with other men is on d platonic level,she married young,after how many years,they r still togeda,the man said it on air that he trusts his wife so much,and that there is nothing,anybody will say about her that he will believe,b4 a man will say dat kinda thing,then u must know that his wife has won his heart wt everything including attitude and decency

JJYOU:

she didnt say she was a virgin. most 16 - 18 yrs old are sexually active in nigeria. what is her true age by the way?

her husband said he married her as a virgin,who did not watch it d programme where he said it sef?almost everybody watched it back home in naija,it was from there,she started gaining respect from her fans,cos a lot of pple tot she"s one bitch

I don't understand how one can be dating more than one person at a time. May be it's me but isn't that the major reason why women call men dogs?

OsunAmazon:

I don't understand how one can be dating more than one person at a time. May be it's me but isn't that the major reason why women call men dogs?

helpme ask them o!!!

Omotola said she got married in '96 at age 18. 1996 was 12 years ago and unless she was born in January or February, she's 31.

You made is seem like she cheated on her husband after they got married. People go on multiple dates (which can amount to anything)all the time, no big deal!

spikedcylinder:

Omotola said she got married in '96 at age 18. 1996 was 12 years ago and unless she was born in January or February, she's 31.

You made is seem like she cheated on her husband after they got married. People go on multiple dates (which can amount to anything)all the time, no big deal!

thank you oooo

smm pple just dont understand d meaning of cheating and dating,d babe told her hubby about the dates,which can be a prove dat she wasnt having anything going on wt them


a girl can go out on a friendly date wt her male colleague in school,does it in any way mean shes cheating on her lover? wat about all those girls whose best friends are males,and they got out on several occasions wt them,does it mean something intimate is going on btw them

haba pple need to understand things before coming here to act holier than thou

i keep saying it,her husband said she was a virgin when he married her,so all dis ones pple r posting here is medicine after death

OsunAmazon:

I don't understand how one can be dating more than one person at a time. May be it's me but isn't that the major reason why women call men dogs?

men or women r dogs when they are having extra intimate affairs outside the one they already have,if u funmi,have 10 males as good platonic friends,so if u go out on a date with them,it already means dat u r cheating on ur lover right?  

women dont only call men dogs,men also call women prostitutes and cheap,so its a two way thingy

@busy_bodi
u ve really tried explaining somtins dat we naija dnt really undastand
dating is quite difrent from sleeping with men.
we ve to educate dose who tinks dat wen a girl says to her boyfriend she has a date it doesn't necesary means she is going to sleep with anoda guy.just like u said no man owes a woman until thery say YES I DO at the altar.


we shuld ask our selves dis question hw many guys/girls have we gone out with on a date?
hw many girls/guys ve we sleep with and do we end up getting married?
omosexy told her husband abt the dates,it shows dere is much more undastanding btwn them
The story headline is just dere to catch our attention.

we ve to educate dose who tinks dat wen a girl says to her boyfriend she has a date it doesn't necesary means she is going to sleep with anoda guy.just like u said no man owes a woman until thery say YES I DO at the altar.

Call a spade a spade. Dating is different from two friends going out to eat. It's usually a prelude to a relationship and anybody that indulges in it is either not satisfied with the r/ship at hand or intends to cheat. Dating another person is cheating if you are already in a relationship. Stop playing with words abeg . If there are no ulterior motives in dating, why do it in the first place?

vincentont:

@busy_bodi
u ve really tried explaining somtins dat we naija dnt really undastand
dating is quite difrent from sleeping with men.
we ve to educate dose who tinks dat wen a girl says to her boyfriend she has a date it doesn't necesary means she is going to sleep with anoda guy.just like u said no man owes a woman until thery say YES I DO at the altar.


we shuld ask our selves dis question hw many guys/girls have we gone out with on a date?
hw many girls/guys ve we sleep with and do we end up getting married?
omosexy told her husband abt the dates,it shows dere is much more undastanding btwn them
The story headline is just dere to catch our attention.

my brother r u minding we nigerians dat like adding salt and pepper inside soup dat does not need it

ok,lets say she dated other men,so what?did she date them after marriage or before marriage?

like i said men r not fools,her husband was aware of it all,so there can be a 100% probability dat nothing intimate might be going on

someone mentioned her having sex wt the men,and i said it is a lie cos the husband said hes wife was a virgin when he married her

how many men have we gone out on a date wt,how many men have we slept with?do we sleep wt all of them?plssssssssssss


the fact is i dont blame her and will never blame her,NO MAN OWNS A WOMAN UNTIL THE 'I DO ' WORD IS SAID,AND NO WOMAN OWNS A MAN UNTIL THE I DO HAS BEEN SAID, 


if we all own our fiance and fiances,i wonder why engaged couples end up not marrying eachother sometimes

Aloy.Emeka:

Call a spade a spade. Dating is different from two friends going out to eat. It's usually a prelude to a relationship and anybody that indulges in it is either not satisfied with the r/ship at hand or intends to cheat. Dating another person is cheating if you are already in a relationship. Stop playing with words abeg . If there are no ulterior motives in dating, why do it in the first place?

And if there are ulterior motives,then she wouldnt have told her husband about it in d first place

Fact remains that her husband keeps saying she was a virgin when he married her so all these date or no date rules have been nullified hasn't it?

On the other hand, there's a popular rumour that Mrs Ekeinde cheats on her husband.

Fact remains that her husband keeps saying she was a virgin when he married her so all these date or no date rules have been nullified hasn't it?

On the other hand, there's a popular rumour that Mrs Ekeinde cheats on her husband

There is what we say in igbo "a ga aju onye" which means whom shall we ask?. The fact that her hysband is openly confessing to her virginity at the time of marriage suggests foul play to me. Who in his right senses come out in the public to say such a thing?. It almost sounds like they are dousing some rumour besides, her husbands confession is not a proof that she didn't have sex before they got married because the man could be lying for all I care.

What do you expect him to say? my wife na pororo when I married her?

And if there are ulterior motives,then she wouldnt have told her husband about it in d first place

Can you think outside the box for once?. I asked, if there are no emotional reasons behind dating, why indulge in it in the first place?. This question has nothing to do with Momotola. If your argument is sound, that means that there is nothing like cheating between two people dating each other as long as they are not MARRIED.

Another question is, what do you understand by cheating?. Is it only when a man or woman indulge in sexual intercourse apart from their regular sexual partners or can somebody still be a cheater even if sex was not involved?