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Madness Fever - Poems For Review - Nairaland

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30 Days Of Poetry Season 2, Day 12, Saturday Night's Madness (pix Inside) (2) (3) (4)

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Madness Fever by emaculate99: 9:08am On Jun 02, 2015
Sagaciously and graciously!
None ever said but all is said
To be good
Good?
$1 equals 200 naira
Salaries left unpaid
People living under $2 per day
Leaders keep embezzling
While we keep suffering


If madness we have
And stealing we enter
Because of the "good" nature
Of our country
Just for us to place a cup of tea and bread
On our table
Restrictions belong to us
And yet they are not punished!
They are left to play freely
Stealing they said is not corruption
Then why punishing the masses
If the leaders go scot free


If madness I must have,
Let me be the man
Changing the day and not the day changing me
Let me be the man who belong to not only everybody but nobody
A man who says stealing is corruption
And not mere stealing
A man who is ready not only to delete but exterminate corruption
A man who cares to hear and not to hear from anyone
Change! We seek!
Transformation! We want!
But can this happen without an immaculate mind
Who is ready to emaculate* all emaculatable
He, whose robe isn't tainted by palm oil but washed with hypo


If madness they would have,
Let them prey on me
Trail me and try to assassinate me
No weapon, I said
Like the biblical teke teke,
Formed against me shall prosper.


If madness they must have,
Let them soak what had been emaculated into palm oil all over again
Let them pour wine on the immaculate nature of the emaculated
But let them know
That another person shall rise again and whose might shall be like of a legion
And voice like the shout of battle on battle field!
No one but the emaculated fellows shall escape
His wrath!


* emaculate means to clear a spot.
#emaculate 2015
I just finished this, I will like you to review it pls

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Madness Fever by emaculate99: 11:02am On Jun 03, 2015
Tags: OMA4U, Adeola, Philtrum, niftyrules, okwutency, princesa, timpaker JigsawKillah, gottoboy, harddon, poeticjazco, dtito, isaiahogodo, paulaok4, basille, krystalxxx, richommie, Chuksemi, Texanomaly, divepen, michaelok, giyazz, nickz, firestar, Bamibor, osiawa, kagari, elvisosho, maxwellbaba, tjkdzyanju, AmiableJay, lordidol, mrwhat, davep.

1 Like

Re: Madness Fever by princesa(f): 11:41am On Jun 03, 2015
Review... Can I?

Poem Diction: simple and easy to understand. Its theme is not far fetched. It borders on the political scene in Nigeria.

Its a free verse no doubt, and has element of repetition. This gives it a rhythm of some sort.

You portrayed your emotional state lucidly that leaves no one in doubt of how truly you feel.

Its a good poem. Is it your first?
Re: Madness Fever by emaculate99: 12:15pm On Jun 03, 2015
princesa:
Review... Can I?

Poem Diction: simple and easy to understand. Its theme is not far fetched. It borders on the political scene in Nigeria.

Its a free verse no doubt, and has element of repetition. This gives it a rhythm of some sort.

You portrayed your emotional state lucidly that leaves no one in doubt of how truly you feel.

Its a good poem. Is it your first?
No, this is not my first poem but I wish to develop myself. thanks very much for the review
Re: Madness Fever by HARDDON: 2:02pm On Jun 04, 2015
emaculate99:
No, this is not my first poem but I wish to develop myself. thanks very much for the review

Behold!
A great gulf there lies btw mortal n immortals
The weight of an inspired quill is worth
a thousand flowing fountain
What mortal can fathom at ease?

I'd rather bask in the sun , feel it's fleet
dan drool with a wooled mind, clear eyes
Words of a drunken painter comes wild
To d skies u shoot, free
Blaze tru d veins, with them quill dancing
Then leave u empty like a used honeycomb

Here is But a quiet quill
Who I'm I to whip?
Re: Madness Fever by HARDDON: 2:16pm On Jun 04, 2015
princesa:
Review... Can I?

Poem Diction: simple and easy to understand. Its theme is not far fetched. It borders on the political scene in Nigeria.

Its a free verse no doubt, and has element of repetition. This gives it a rhythm of some sort.

You portrayed your emotional state lucidly that leaves no one in doubt of how truly you feel.

Its a good poem. Is it your first?

Would u rather we dance?
To some distant drum
Rhythm of the night
Or rhythim of some rhymes
Let the music play
N long into this lane
Until all on d altar we lay lose

Immortals
Only d drums of angels
The tone from d rocks
The wealthy Wells of words
Therein only
lies the move to roll
The will to way

Shall we really dance?
Re: Madness Fever by princesa(f): 2:26pm On Jun 04, 2015
HARDDON:

Would u rather we dance? To some distant drum Rhythm of the night Or rhythim of some rhymes Let the music play N long into this lane Until all on d altar we lay lose
Immortals Only d drums of angels The tone from d rocks The wealthy Wells of words Therein only lies the move to roll The will to way
Shall we really dance?
yeah, lets dance
Re: Madness Fever by emaculate99: 10:00am On Jun 06, 2015
princesa:

yeah, lets dance

The difference I understood,
None I can't discern
The courage that seem blaring
Now it's gone
Who am I?
Who am I to ask
Why things are like this?
No talk, not one must be spoken
Re: Madness Fever by Bamibor: 7:38pm On Oct 05, 2015
emaculate99:

I just finished this, I will like you to review it pls
Your work is nice. The theme is clearly expressed and I also like the fact that you helped us with the meaning of the word 'emaculate', as it happens to be a vital part of your message. Good one, cheers!
Re: Madness Fever by emaculate99: 11:46pm On Oct 05, 2015
Bamibor:

Your work is nice. The theme is clearly expressed and I also like the fact that you helped us with the meaning of the word 'emaculate', as it happens to be a vital part of your message. Good one, cheers!
wow! thank you very much for your comment. i really appreciate you boss.
Re: Madness Fever by texanomaly(f): 2:39am On Oct 07, 2015
This review is perfect princesa:

princesa:
Review... Can I?

Poem Diction: simple and easy to understand. Its theme is not far fetched. It borders on the political scene in Nigeria.

Its a free verse no doubt, and has element of repetition. This gives it a rhythm of some sort.

You portrayed your emotional state lucidly that leaves no one in doubt of how truly you feel.

Its a good poem. Is it your first?

This is a really great poem. Brilliant! Truly.

llaykorn
Timpaker
OMA4U
Firestar
EverestDaBlui
Yusjet
donifez

1 Like

Re: Madness Fever by texanomaly(f): 2:40am On Oct 07, 2015
More please!! smiley

2 Likes

Re: Madness Fever by donifez(m): 7:25am On Oct 07, 2015
Princesa review was spot on, Your poem is brevity personified. changing the day and not the day changing me (motivational), Represented our leaders with their quotes (Brilliant). keep it up bro"(we need such poems to show us where we are and help us move further".



*Princesa i doubt if u really know me...i do participate on your rhyme and rhythm thread, when you start another, please mention me.
Re: Madness Fever by timpaker(m): 7:53am On Oct 07, 2015
emaculate99:
No, this is not my first poem but I wish to develop myself. thanks very much for the review

Weldone and welcome bro!

You did well.

Your verses are filled with catchy meanings of what we hear through our politicians. However, for the sake of your readers, your punctuation should to be properly placed (though it's a free verse, such punctuation could be skipped but it is necessary).

I love the fact that you selected your words carefully with each having to give a meaning to the poem - "emaculate" "emaculatable" "emaculated" "immaculate"

Bravo! Please we need to read more of your poems here.

Thank you.

2 Likes

Re: Madness Fever by emaculate99: 7:11pm On Oct 07, 2015
I appreciate you all for your advice, criticisms and corrections. I have modified the poem to include all the corrections.
Sagaciously and graciously!
None ever said but all is said
To be good

Good?
$1 equals 200 naira
Salaries left unpaid
People living under $2 per day
Leaders keep embezzling
While we keep suffering

If madness we have
And stealing we enter
Because of the "good" nature
Of our country
Just for us to place a cup of tea and
bread
On our table
Restrictions belong to us
And yet they are not punished!
They are left to play freely

Stealing they said is not corruption
Then why punishing the masses
If the leaders go scot free

If madness I must have,
Let me be the man
Changing the day and not the day
changing me
Let me be the man who belongs to not
only everybody but nobody
A man who says stealing is corruption
And not mere stealing
A man who is ready not only to delete
but exterminate corruption
A man who cares to hear and not to
hear from anyone

Change! We seek!
Transformation! We want!
But can this happen without an
immaculate mind
Who is ready to emaculate* all
emaculatable
He, whose robe isn't tainted by palm
oil but washed with hypo

If madness they would have,
Let them prey on me
Trail me and try to assassinate me
No weapon, I said
Like the biblical teke teke,
Formed against me shall prosper.

If madness they must have,
Let them soak what had been
emaculated into palm oil all over again
Let them pour wine on the immaculate
nature of the emaculated

But let them know
That another person shall rise again
and whose might shall be like that of a legion
And voice like the shout of battle on a
battle field!

No one but the emaculated fellows
shall escape
His wrath!

No one but the emaculated fellows
shall escape
His wrath!


* emaculate means to clear a spot
©Emaculate 2015
cc llaykorn
Timpaker
OMA4U
Firestar
EverestDaBlui
Yusjet
donifez
Texanomaly

1 Like

Re: Madness Fever by emaculate99: 7:16pm On Oct 07, 2015
donifez:
Princesa review was spot on, Your poem is brevity personified. changing the day and not the day changing me (motivational), Represented our leaders with their quotes (Brilliant). keep it up bro"(we need such poems to show us where we are and help us move further".



*Princesa i doubt if u really know me...i do participate on your rhyme and rhythm thread, when you start another, please mention me.

wow! thanks very much for your review, I will work on that.
Re: Madness Fever by emaculate99: 7:31pm On Oct 07, 2015
timpaker:


Weldone and welcome bro!

You did well.

Your verses are filled with catchy meanings of what we hear through our politicians. However, for the sake of your readers, your punctuation should to be properly placed (though it's a free verse, such punctuation could be skipped but it is necessary).

I love the fact that you selected your words carefully with each having to give a meaning to the poem - "emaculate" "emaculatable" "emaculated" "immaculate"

Bravo! Please we need to read more of your poems here.

Thank you.
Thanks very much boss for your review sir.
Re: Madness Fever by emaculate99: 7:31pm On Oct 07, 2015
texanomaly:
More please!! smiley
I will surely post more

1 Like

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