Seems you are going thru alot in your marriage..
Well, no marriage is exactly the same.. all marriages have their shortcomings and problems but its the way you handle it that matters..
You and ur hubby needs to sit down and have a serious tet-a-tet.


Reading ur Thread on Vaginal Lax..
Stay away from fruits like cucumber and lettuce..
Heard they expand the stuff.

Pls dont go out of ur way just to make that place tight..
When ur hubbys squen sqeun disappears.. he will come around.
Good Luck!

Op, the best way to win is the Love way. No matter what, Love ur husband, honour him and respect him.

He must not treat u like others supposedly treat their wives but he will come around.

Love always wins.

treese:

If I try to talk to him it hardly goes down well. Sex is good with us funny enough, it's d only time I feel loved by him, it's the only time we r closer. But that's not marital bliss.

are u not the one your husband is complaining to us in family section that you may be cheating on him?is this kind of a communication section since you both no longer communicate?to be honest with you,some of your actions are not encouraging and am also blaming your husband for lack of communication.both of you need help but i think you should change some of your behaviours towards your ex.wish u peace and happy marriage.

@treese

The fact remain that having a child b4 getting married is an issue.
He must ve married u base on pressure. From his relation.
One thing I notice while reading is that, he is not ur friend and he Never loved u!
because when u marry ur FRIEND, sometimes the love gose into hiding and the friendship moves the relationship or family till whEn the love shows up again.
But note. There is nothing God can not do
Tell it to GOD with prayer and fast and watch out for the result.

misspicy u don't ve to be scare

Dhotseal:


Now permit me to say this. Reading comments from people like u is the reason I still visit Nairaland. Your thoughtful and dispassionate advice goes to show your maturity of mind. Thank you for taking the time to address op's issues. Being a fellow woman ( at least ur monika says u are) gives u a better perspective to her plight)

Such nice words. I thank you.

U mar

Let me quickly come in, have you ever wondered how powerful "understanding" is in a relationship? Love fades and even crumble in weeks after marriage let alone after having kids. Clearly your husband does not want you all over him like gum, it happens like that when men says they want their privacy. The truth is that you love him but he doesn't, he still likes you. Try this out, show less care once in a while but make sure you keep doing your domestic necessity as a wife. Don't bug him with calls or text messages, don't expect him to appreciate you verbally, be happy with your kids and make him see they are already a substitute for him. Lastly, understand him for who he his, don't get disturbed if he eventually cheats on you, keep your head up and high. Surely he is coming back for you......... Am an example of your hubby, I nag and get angrily unnecessarily with my wife but it's coming back to normal state now.

misspicy:
Wow am so scared of marriage right now gosh.as I dnt af my mum anylonger
Bankyblue am scared

pls ma take your problems to God on ur knees or anyway you know how to.persevere as long as there is no form of abuse.with God all things are possible

Shalom
Jesus fix this

most failed marriages especially with women is the result of karma,they are reaping what they sowed in the past.

Andrew114:
are u not the one your husband is complaining to us in family section that you may be cheating on him?is this kind of a communication section since you both no longer communicate?to be honest with you,some of your actions are not encouraging and am also blaming your husband for lack of communication.both of you need help but i think you should change some of your behaviours towards your ex.wish u peace and happy marriage.

I'm suspecting this thread,he/she might be an attention seeking nairalander o with two monikers.

andromida:

Such nice words. I thank you.

You are welcome dear.

Youngpo413:
You are welcome dear.

Lol. You.

I am sorry your marriage is not what you wanted it to be dear,but its not the end of your world. You don't need to resign yourself to a state of perpetual misery. Let's look at it from another point of view: see this as a challenge and an opportunity to find yourself again.
Before you got married, WHO WERE YOU? Were you independent,what was your social circle like? How was your relationship with your family? Did you have esteem issues? Where you a happy woman? Or were you waiting for marriage/dream lover to make you happy? What were your hobbies? What were you passionate about?
Marriage is just a name.its the pple in it that gives it the meaning. Why in this short life would you CHOOSE to be unhappy because of another person? He's your husband,not your maker. You will fail if you keep making a man your source of living.
Its going to be difficult,but you need to remove focus from your hubby back to yourself. Practice self love. Work on gaining self esteem. You can't love another when you don't love yourself. Invest in yourself,your kids,join an NGO,learn a skill or vocation, aim at being an asset and a value adding individual.
Reorganize your life and time. When you get busy,you won't notice your hubby that much.
Get this, your husband is human and humans fail,humans are not perfect. He may have chosen not to regard you, its his choice,but if you choose to treat yourself in same manner,then its game over. So get up,dust yourself and start living.

Dhotseal:


Now permit me to say this. Reading comments from people like u is the reason I still visit Nairaland. Your thoughtful and dispassionate advice goes to show your maturity of mind. Thank you for taking the time to address op's issues. Being a fellow woman ( at least ur monika says u are) gives u a better perspective to her plight)

Op, please be assured that u are not the reason he is unhappy, that is, if he really is unhappy.
I think it is about time you stopped blaming yourself for his unhappiness. Leave him be. Focus on doing your wifely duties without more.

Focus on being passionate about life.
Focus on ur happiness, at least, u can do something about that. Stop being fixated on your husband and his feelings towards you. Instead, focus on being the best version of yourself. Join a Gym and burn off the excesses. Acquire a new skill. Go do a masters programme. Just do something that makes you a better woman than the attention craving wife.

Most importantly, affirm to yourself every chance u get, that u are beautiful, smart and worthy to be loved.

Never rely on any human being for your sense of self worth. Nobody can complete you, you are complete all on your own. Your husband is just there to complement your awesomeness.

Do these and watch the magic in hubby's attitude towards you. Believe me, I know, cos I am a married dude like him. He just cannot get over seeing u live confidently.

God Bless u.

This this this a million times over. Women should stop fixating about 'husbands' who don't give a damn about them. Men usually want what they can't have. Lose as much weight as you can. Look nice and withdraw from him. Do the bare minimum and he will be the one chasing you.

Start living your life irregardless of whatever he says and does. How can you just allow your happiness to be in another person's hands. Dem no go hear