*warning* Please note; the guy in this story is
not me - I repeat, the guy in this story is not me
o.
I apologise whatsoever for any resemblance of
the characters in this story to real people - na
coincidence abeg.
For those that voted for this story (A), una don
win the election na - PDP things
******************************************
1.
Women are about the most complicated species
of breathing things on earth - them dey use am
brag sef.
"Czar, I just don't know. I'm complicated and
that's my problem".
Who ask you, yimu.
Make I start the story jare, no time.
It was a friday, and like every friday in my final
year - from 10am to whenever, dey always dey
free.
Like they say, an idle man is the devil's
workshop.
That was how the devil pushed Arisa, one of my
guys slash classmate, to where I was sitting by
myself near the window at the back of the class
(I no be back bencher - no even think am).
"Guy, we dey free from 10am o". Arisa told me.
I looked up from the note I was pretending to
copy (I hate copying notes to pieces).
"I get timetable". I told Arisa. "So I know, thank
you for reminding me"
Bam!
Person slap the back of my head from back.
Genuis Blad of messi, my mind voice screamed,
bad ass genius blad of messi. Who slap me!
I turned in anger like this eh and saw Achor,
another of my man, grinning like the cow on a
cowbell satchet.
"You know what time it is". He said, still grinning.
"Hunting time". Arisa helped him complete.
"Make we go hunt".
*Alright. pause; let me explain.*
Most fridays we hunt. Okay, scratch that - let me
try another angle: every friday whenever we were
free of lectures we go around school and chyke
random girls for fun. We bet 1k, Anyone who
gets a girl's number first wins the money. The
rule was this; the babe gas fine and we all gas
gree say the babe fine (you grab?)
Now, I'm a typical gentle guy but I ain't gay so
damn the gentility; when hunting time comes - I
join (hehehe, Ya, I know it sounds like I'm
justifying my actions. Na wetin my father send
me to school for? - if that's what you are
thinking, Na u sabi), plus I need the money sef (I
always loose sha)
So scratching my head and still looking Achor
"bad eyes" for slamming my head like that, I
agreed.
I packed the note I was copying(I go copy am
later joor) and joined them as they walked out of
the class.
"Where we go go now?" Achor asked.
"Faculty of Art". I suggested without thinking.
Did I mention that I love art babes to scatter? Ok
I just did; I love art babes to scatter. They can
know how to package and every man loves a
packaged babe and since I'm a man then I love
an art babe (that's simple GS 208 - logic).
So they agreed and voom; we directed our steps
towards faculty of art (I dey microbiology, by the
way).
When we got to faculty of arts; voom -
masscomm department.
When we got to masscom department we
entered searching mode - "that babe fine sha"
one of us will say. "No she no fine joor, her yash
dey one side", another one will counter.
So that was how we were doing mumu panel of
judges till ghen...this babe walked out of
Masscomm final year class.
Okay, We were downstairs so I was kinda looking
up at their door when she came out (I think I'm
possessed, I dey always see fine girls first. Gad
forbid, I'm not possessed abeg).
So as I was saying, as the babe walked out - my
jaw dropped, wolf look came on my face and my
tiny mind voice started screaming holy genuis
blad of messi, holy genuis blad of messi.
Arisa spotted the look on my face (he knows the
look) and followed my gaze; the babe was now
talking with some of his class guys near the
balcony out their class. Well, scratch that - some
of his class guys were hustling to talk to her.
Achor followed our gaze.
"Okay, this one fine" he said.
"Like mad". Arisa agreed. "So who go go?"
Okay pause; let me describe the babe
(hey love, if you are reading this now no vex, I
just have to describe).
So as I was saying, let me describe the babe: I
am a bit taller than her, I'm average height (you
are moyes and thunder will fire you if you think
I'm not. Lol)- and no, she is not short. Plummy,
She had low cut, pointed nose, gorgeous lips,
nice sexy straight legs(no knock knee shit), nice
carriage (alright let me stop here before it starts
sounding like wash)
So when Arisa asked the one million dollars
questions; "who go go first", that was when I
understood how the angels must have felt when
God the father asked the same question before
man was saved.
Lever cut me, cut Achor and cut Arisa wey ask
the question. I mean, that mami up there was an
11 over 10 babe. Like, she was damn hot.
"She is not my type sha" Arisa said. And No he
wasn't saying it because he was scared of
getting rejected, the babe was really not his
type. Arisa is a firewoodophile...definition; a guy
who is sexually attracted to fire-woods. In
simpler terms; he liked skiny girl and hellish hot
babe up there was plumpy; so she was a no - no.
Achor faced me. "Na u go go first na". He told
me. "You don loose tire for past hunting trips. I
dash you this chance".
I frooze; my liver was really screwed up by now.
I looked up at the balcony - damn, this babe fine
die. holy genuis blad of messi. I turned to look at
my guys; this was war and I would be damned if
I act like a goddamn wussy in the face of battle,
in front of my fellow warriors again kwa- God
punish moyes.
Carrying myself as calm as I didn't really feel
inside, I started walking towards the staircase
that will lead me to the balcony. If I no collect
this babe number today I go loose another 1k...
TO BE CONTINUED