News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo, 1 was caught watching tv, another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message



God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested



The longest sentence known to man: "I do."



CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this



Crime doesn't pay, Does that mean my job is a crime?



This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! , Now read without the word dog.



Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.



I want to suck you, lick you, wanna move my tongue all over you, wanna feel you in my mouth, yep, tat's how u, eat an ice cream!



ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.



Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.



Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?



Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!



Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

A: There have been sightings of UFOs.



I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears,



There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.



What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?



What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.



I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.



A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."



Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.



What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.



Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.



[/color][color=#990000]

sms quotes
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.



It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.



I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?



Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you.



You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.



I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.



My Reality Check bounced.



Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.



Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.



Lightyears ahead! Just a phonecall away!


Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.



Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?



There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.



Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back



As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing



Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.



What do you call a handcuffed man?
- Trustworthy.

nutty lass

;d :d ;d :d ;d :d ;d :d

error!

Some cool ones there

Nice jokes; I must send Ban Ben an SMS tonight.

krama:

Some cool ones there

so you are alive?

So funny, am i alive?! I guess that makes it the 102nd joke! And how's you?

Yes ur alive. Thank God!

hmmmmmmm
nice one

krama:

So funny, am i alive?! I guess that makes it the 102nd joke! And how's you?

am fine long, longest time actually

Long time indeed. Missed ya!

nice one

My child rates this colour palette very engaging!!