BrownGarri © 2015



According to online reports, the marriage of popular On Air Personality and TV host Toke Makinwa appears to be threatened by her husbands (Maje Ayida) illicit affair with his ex lover Anita. Rumor has it that Anita is already pregnant for Maje… I don’t know how true it is but let’s just hope its not a publicity stunt and assume its 100% certain.

No doubt it’s a very sad thing to hear about infidelity and I feel so deeply bad about it. I feel so sorry for her and I pray the good Lord see her through her trying moments.

Lets face it, Toke has risen these few years to become a known face in media. Her celebrity status is enviable, you see her at most posh events looking all drop dead gorgeous and majestic. Her beauty and appearance is just breathtaking. You see her globetrotting, taking selfies, showing off her graceful lifestyle online and all. Sometimes I think she’s a super woman, balancing both ambition, stardom and marital responsibilities.

Only just recently I saw how ordinary she truly is and vulnerable. I did a little dig on her and I found out she grew up from a humble home. Not too humble though, lets say average class home. She worked her way up to attain opulence which is a very admirable thing. She’s truly an ambitious lady full of energy and will.

I have noticed something common with many celebrities in Nigeria. Those who grew up from humble background get eluded by fame and wealth. Most times they forget their roots and they tend to embrace a superficial lifestyle, evolving themselves, their tastes, preferences and perspective to life. Emulating foreign celebrities, spending more time on Instagram than in the kitchen cooking for their husbands. Forgetting this is Africa….

It’s amazing how most of our female celebrities forget how they bend their butts down to pick beans when they were younger. How they went to the market to grind pepper and price foodstuffs. These days they rather order pizza as dinner for their husbands with a can of beer than sweat it out turning Amala and making correct goat meat stew with Ewedu and Gbegiri.

Looking at Toke, I wondered why her name didn’t change when she got married. It’s none of my business though, but it’s important to learn some few things from the lives of others so we don’t make the same mistakes. Her husbands last name is Ayida and Toke is known as Toke Makinwa. Do you smell a rat?

Even the good book says “Wives submit to your husbands and husbands love your wives” No one is saying you ladies should slave for your husbands, rather show humility and respect in everything you do. In this part of the world, by default men are attributed with absolute authority unlike the western world. When you show humility to your man you appease him and he shows love and concern, it’s a natural sequence.

Marriage can either be a bed of roses or a cage to the couple involved. A bed of roses is what every couple want in their marriages. Imagine lying down in a bed scented with fresh roses, you would want to sleep there forever right? I would…. Marriage is driven by individual interests of both couple. If the respective interest of both are safe guarded it is very likely they will both sleep on the bed of roses but if the interest is threatened its very likely marriage will feel like a cage. Imagine spending the rest of your life in a cage…Awful!!

I don’t know Toke or Maje personally but looking at them critically, I can infer that there’s really something or somethings Maje’s not getting in his marriage to Toke. Let me tell you how I know, Maje is in his early 40’s and rumor has it that he dated Anita for 8 years. Anita is a Lawyer that lives in Calabar, everyone knows the wife worthiness of most Calaber women. 3 Gs… Good meals, good sex and good respect. Just kidding. But lets look at this scenario. Why do you think Maje would rather have an affair with a lady he dated for years than someone else? Why did he decide to impregnate her? Why did they decide to keep the pregnancy? The answer is simple his individual interests in his marriage to Toke was threatened. He felt the cage and the moment he had the chance he bailed out, running to Anita whom he knew for years and once loved.

I am not justifying his actions… I don’t support infidelity in anyway. What he did was wrong but I don’t blame him alone. I also blame Toke. No matter the amount of fame, glitz or number of fan base you’ve got. Your home is ultimate. Your home must be beautiful at all cost, understand the interests of your spouse, protect it with all of your heart and watch your home glitter in beauty.
It’s a very difficult time for Toke and I sympathize with her. There’s a saying I have for her. “What can’t kill you can only make you stronger.”

Ladies out there try learn from this. Don’t compromise your roots, don’t let money, fame, ambition blind you. Remember this is Africa and we have our values and norms. If you want to emulate oyibo, copy small, I mean very small… Especially the good part. Though (Oyibo) they may look so gorgeous in the outside and so enviable but we all know 0ver 70% of their marriages crashes every year. Be wise, be the girl your mother raised….

Don’t be surprised you wake up tomorrow knowing this is all publicity stunts…

I thought I was the only one that noticed

abi...

All ur talk is assumption&u really hv time for d psychoanalysis.am sure u r a man!forget d 3gs,if u like give 10gs,a man that will cheat will cheat!

duperola:
All ur talk is assumption&u really hv time for d psychoanalysis.am sure u r a man!forget d 3gs,if u like give 10gs,a man that will cheat will cheat!

In some cases people are motivated to cheat.... Not everyone cheats