Just this morning, I read that the shooter of church members during a bible study program in the US has been caught. I was then wondering what would happened if a similar scenario plays out in Nigeria. What would have been the reactions of people and groups. Stated below are their reactions in my opinion:

Absolute News: A man kills 9 members of a bible study group in Lagos. The church is a "tribe A" tradition church

NTA's NEWS: Only 4 people died.

The police: we are on top of the issue.

Nigerian bloggers: the shooter was purported by eye witnesses to have horns.

Nairaland's PDP supporters: Where's that dullard?

Tribe A ethnic militia: we want out of this country. Why are we always persecuted?

Nairaland's ethnic bigots of tribe A: that killer must be from tribe B.

CAN: A Muslim must have done this. We declare a 1-week fasting and prayer to prevent a future occurrence.

Muslim clerics: no true Muslim can do this. Remember Islam is a religion of "peace".

Pastor Adeboye: [on Facebook] click 'like' to rebuke a shooting against you or your loved ones.

Pastor kumuyi: this is a sign of the end times.

Prophet T.B. Joshua: "How I predicted the shooting of Christians in a church."

Native Doctors be like: it happened because they desecrated a shrine. -- added by Tocheagle

[ONE MONTH AFTER]

Police : we present to you the shooter of those 9 christians.

The "shooter": [beaten badly] dem say make I say na me do am.

The shooter: [sipping Zobo while reading a newspaper] F00ls!

Nairalanders: [what would you have said?]

HahahahahahA

So many will not understand your Joke tho

Who ever says words can't hurt you has never got hit in the face with a dictionary!

this jus made my day......

Native Doctors be like: it happened because they desecrated a shrine

Lmao! As sad as the story is, this is really funny, mainly 'cause it's true. FP material!

Epic. Fact.

lalasticlala, please let more people read this thread.

theAtheist101:

Pastor Adeboye: [on Facebook] click 'like' to rebuke a shooting against you or your loved ones.
Pastor kumuyi: this is a sign of the end times.
Prophet T.B. Joshua: "How I predicted the shooting of Christians in a church.

Trail and error predictions.

The game
- "predict 100 different events or things, surely 1 must come to pass"

- " amongst 1000 people prayed on, at least 2 must be free from their problems of which if not prayed on, will still get free from the various aliments"

by the time you know it, then the predictor is a great and awesome man of god. God uses him to perform miracles and wonders.

Op, you are good!


I as a nairalander would have said:

RIP to the dead. May we not experience such calamity.
I pray the shooter is found and made to face the law.(In Naija, the shooter will still be walking free).

the tb Joshua one is funny

Op.... U r not far from the truth.... More eggs to ur Indomie