It’s the story of my life and it’s a fight to survive, even though it is tight and the stakes are high. They say character is what truly makes a man and that he can’t hide, as the bright side of my character gets dimmer every night through the negative attitude that emanates from my inside. I fear for a total outage of my destiny light that is suppose to shine so bright. It’s more agony for me every night when I realize how terrible and unintended my actions have been during the daylight. I break down and cry just like I am doing now while I write.

It’s the story of my life that gets me into an organization with high determination and expectation just like any highly spirited young man, and soon I get everyone’s attention. Some even secretly nominate me for promotion; others hope I soon get elevation because of my hard work and dedication. Sooner or later there is a turn of condition that leads to an ugly situation. Attitude suddenly turns into dirty arrogance and this makes everyone around me automatically small including my overall boss. Then it becomes obvious I will lose that job. Oh my God this is worse than torture. It takes me into isolation, a condition that magnifies frustration until it becomes distraction from anything I embark on. It takes away my creativity and innovation till I get irrelevant. Oh what a terrible situation.

It’s the story of my life. When I come across opposite sex, I am most times immediately admired. In some cases I am desired and this experience gets me inspired. But soon enough the whole excitement wears out like a dry wood and it’s thrown in the fire. It hurts the most when folks ask questions like why are you still single. Because the know me to be nimble but the ash reality of my venomous tongue and my negative attitude continuously puts me in a struggle that has made my heart feeble. It’s more horrible because I am perceived as civil. I can judge good from evil, Yet each time I try, it always seems trouble is inevitable; so I am meant to be single and live my life all alone. Oh God what a life of sorrow.
It’s the story of my life; I must take charge and fight. I will reach out to take a spiritual pen in Christ using His blood as the ink to rewrite my life. Now that am aware of the two beings living in me, the fight just gets more real. I must put on the whole armor of God to enable me destroy the negative attitude living in me; that has tormented me all these season and kept me awake most nights with tears flowing down my chicks freely, and the pangs of guilt reaping through my thoughts making me so weak. I must rise and fight because I truly want to succeed. I realize that no matter how much others try to help me, but if I am not truly willing it will just end in self pity. And that’s one party I don’t want to get myself in.

I desire to be good and see same in others, I want to love sincerely and be loved in return. I desire to respect divergent views and opinions even if they choose not to respect mine. I choose to be humble and develop a true interest in helping others grow. I will be the true me God created, to live in love and not guilt. Yes it is the story of my life; one that I will take charge through grace and rewrite it right.

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