KOLZY:

my dear first things first... does his wife know about his friendship with you? if NO try and make him introduce to his wife and become a friend of the family else or if he refused cut it off its not genuine.
secondly, from what you've written you boyfriend doesn't know about him. so sit him down and tell him about it.
from here you'll know what to do.
so let your mind be at rest... understanding is all what this takes

DatBossAssChick:
Don't know how to start this..

I know in this our society nothing goes for nothing.. I've know this man for a year plus, he is very friendly and generous to me, but he is married and I'm in a serious relationship which I have disclosed to him but he keeps insisting we keep this friendship as it is.

Of course man shall not live by bread alone, I'm working and I still leave under my parents roof and my parents still gives me enough money, so I'm very much comfy but most times I need more but not to the extent of borrowing or asking anyone for money. Ok!how he got my account number?!.. was when i was serving and i was kinda broke and i just passed the info to him jokingly and next thing was an alert! I was kinda shocked, happy and grateful at the same time. Since then it is now a regular thing which is becoming scary and I don't want to be blinded by these things.

I've tried to give this man enough distance but it isnt enough, he understands I'm trying to do that but still insist we keep. I keep wondering what one can do.. It won't be funny if my guy finds out that I keep receiving money from him and might not believe my explanations.

What can I do? Pls who else has gone through this before?

Pls matured opinions and critics pls don't criticize.

KOLZY:

my dear first things first... does his wife know about his friendship with you? if NO try and make him introduce to his wife and become a friend of the family else or if he refused cut it off its not genuine.
secondly, from what you've written you boyfriend doesn't know about him. so sit him down and tell him about it.
from here you'll know what to do.
so let your mind be at rest... understanding is all what this takes

Infomizer:
He could just be a benevolent person. Not every giver wants something in return. Perhaps he derives joy from doing good.

My answer might not be satisfactory - even to me, so I'd suggest you do your due diligence. Does he take care of his family well? Is he generally 'philanthropic' (you can chat him up subtly on how you want to start contributing money to one motherless babies home or something just to sample his opinion)?

Point is: be sure it's his nature so at least you can remove that suspicion of him wanting something in return.


If it turns out that it isn't in his nature, my sister, enjoy it while it lasts, and have an exit plan! Some of those that will diss you here wish they were in your shoes.

firstEVA:
Men don't give for free, especially in circumstances like this.

amtheone:


You are wrong Eva, some men give without any hidden agenda.

toksbisola:
@Op; First things first; PLEASE TRY YOUR POSSIBLE BEST TO SEVER THIS SUDDEN CLOSE BOND YOU HAVE WITH THIS MARRIED MAN. You know why; YOU ARE NOW IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER MAN.

As it looks, it’s turning into something that you're now unable to handle effectively. In turn, this married man is not taking NO for an answer as you have asserted in your comment(s). I can guarantee you that the day his wife and your boyfriend finds out about this close friendship; it wouldn’t be something very palatable to either the married mans' WIFE or your BF.

I am going to state 2 CLEAR scenarios and please think about them carefully;

First scenario
If you were the mans’ wife in question, and you find out that your husband is keeping a close friendship with another lady as well as sending money into the lady's account (not his family member) how would you feel?

Second scenario
If it were your BF (that you are now in a serious relationship with) is keeping a close friendship with another lady and sending money regularly into the lady's account (again not his family member), how would you feel?

When a married man tells a lady he is not married to that he wants to keep a friendship with her, alarm bells should start ringing. It is not healthy to keep a “CLOSE FRIENDSHIP” (permit me to say that’s what I term yours; based on your write-up) with a married man, as this can lead to something else either KNOWINGLY OR UNKNOWINGLY. Mind you, I am not talking about the "Hi, how are you type of friendship".

I’ll also like to highlight some questions that needs looking into FAST; and please, think about these questions carefully;

Wife’s perspective
1) Is his wife aware of you and your friendship with her husband?

2) Is his wife aware that he sends money into your account regularly; and what the reason(s) are for his doing so?

Boyfriends perspective
1) Is you BF aware of this friendship you have with this married man?

2) Is your BF aware that he is sending you money regularly into your account; and what the reason(s) are for his doing so?

The day you BF would find out about this, you might not be able to handle how he would react. Don’t put yourself in a situation where your BF begins to DOUBT what you say; neither let him begin harboring TRUST ISSUES about the seriousness of the relationship you have with him.

Never allow a situation where your BF starts to view you as someone who is not SATISFIED/CONTENT WITH WHAT SHE HAS “MONEY-WISE ”. Don’t let him figure you as a person who would not be able to manage the money he gives you either as a GF or when you eventually become his WIFE. Avoid a scenario where he would look at you as AN OLIVER TWIST (No offence; hope none taken).

It’s imperative for one to learn to live within their means. As you mentioned, your parents provide for you, and you also work, and I am sure your BF also gives you money (maybe/maybe not) so I can’t understand why the need for more. To crown it all, THE MORE IS COMING FROM A MARRIED MAN who is not even related to you in anyway I.E. as a brother, cousin or uncle. I SEE IT AS TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH THE JONES'S. Learn to be satisfied with what you have. Finally, handle this situation you have found yourself in with caution to AVOID STORIES THAT HURT.

I rest my case

Yomieluv:
Has he ever asked you out,or make funny moves when alone with you?

If not,maybe he likes your personality,or you remind him of lost someone,like his "late mum" etc.

Just my opinion.

KOLZY:

my dear first things first... does his wife know about his friendship with you? if NO try and make him introduce to his wife and become a friend of the family else or if he refused cut it off its not genuine.
secondly, from what you've written you boyfriend doesn't know about him. so sit him down and tell him about it.
from here you'll know what to do.
so let your mind be at rest... understanding is all what this takes

DatBossAssChick:
...i was kinda broke and i just passed the info to him jokingly and next thing was an alert! I was kinda shocked, happy and grateful at the same time. Since then it is now a regular thing which is becoming scary and I don't want to be blinded by these things.

I've tried to give this man enough distance but it isnt enough, he understands I'm trying to do that but still insist we keep. I keep wondering what one can do.. It won't be funny if my guy finds out that I keep receiving money from him and might not believe my explanations.

What can I do? Pls who else has gone through this before?

Pls matured opinions and critics pls don't criticize.

DatBossAssChick:
Don't know how to start this..

I know in this our society nothing goes for nothing.. I've know this man for a year plus, he is very friendly and generous to me, but he is married and I'm in a serious relationship which I have disclosed to him but he keeps insisting we keep this friendship as it is.

Of course man shall not live by bread alone, I'm working and I still leave under my parents roof and my parents still gives me enough money, so I'm very much comfy but most times I need more but not to the extent of borrowing or asking anyone for money. Ok!how he got my account number?!.. was when i was serving and i was kinda broke and i just passed the info to him jokingly and next thing was an alert! I was kinda shocked, happy and grateful at the same time. Since then it is now a regular thing which is becoming scary and I don't want to be blinded by these things.

I've tried to give this man enough distance but it isnt enough, he understands I'm trying to do that but still insist we keep. I keep wondering what one can do.. It won't be funny if my guy finds out that I keep receiving money from him and might not believe my explanations.

What can I do? Pls who else has gone through this before?

Pls matured opinions and critics pls don't criticize.

kestolove95:
He wants ur head

kestolove95:
He wants ur head

firstEVA:
Men don't give for free, especially in circumstances like this.