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5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by Nobody: 11:38am On Jul 14, 2015 |
Yup. U heard me right. This is real and not sci-fi. If any of these should happen, we'd all be dead. D.E.A.D. We, and all forms of life on earth and possibly even the earth itself. U wouldn't even have enough time to pray to *insert name of ur God(s)* before u become a past event. Side note: Any of these could happen before u finish reading this article. Yup. Very possible. I know some of u are likely to drop ur phones and shout blood of Jesus. If it happens u'll still be dead. U had better not have a p0rn site open in one of ur tabs while u're reading this article and any of these events happen, else, u won't won't make the heaven of ur religion Oya close d p0rn now. Done? Good. #5 GAMMA-RAY BURSTS ![]() Gamma-ray bursts are intense blasts of radiation that go rocketing into space when a star explodes, traveling at 99.99% the speed of light. Comparing the heat and brightness of a gamma-ray burst to the sun is like comparing the sun to a lighted matchstick. Did u get that? What our sun is to a gamma-ray burst is what a lighted matchstick is to our sun. Imagine that! And if a massive enough star explodes in our galaxy, its "wad" could hit us square in the chin. WHAT YOU'LL SEE If u're on the side of the planet where it hits, this will be like getting caught in a nuclear blast 1000 times stronger than all the nuclear warheads on Earth combined. You'll probably get through "OH" and half of "FUUUUUUCK" before u're interrupted by the sounds of your organs boiling. If u happen to be on the other side of the planet, u'll simply burn to death from radiation as the atmosphere disintegrates and all the gamma-rays liquefy your cells. If we're lucky, it'll just be a "nearby" gamma-ray burst, which means it just grazes us. Oh it will still kill u though, but the resulting death will be slower as the ozone layer burns up and our ecosystem is destroyed. So u'll have some time to do those things u've always wanted to do but keep postponing. Like maybe, give ur life to Christ, tell ur crush how u feel about him/her, wash ur socks, beat up that idiot u've been tolerating, eat all d sweet 'unhealthy' foods, watch all episodes of Game Of Thrones, pay ur tithes, agree for that guy/girl that has been toasting u, etc etc. There is actually a "Gamma-Ray Burst Coordinates Network," which attempts to detect bursts ahead of time. Not like they can avert the burst anyway, they'll just give us enough time to get through half of saying our last prayers while running around screaming our heads off. #4. STELLAR BLACK HOLES ![]() Stellar black holes are so-named because they are only "sort of" more massive than our sun, in contrast with supermassive black holes that can stomp an entire galaxy into oblivion. There are thousands of these stellar black holes floating around space. The problem is, we have no way of finding them unless they interact with another stellar object and we happen to see it. In other words, a black hole could be right next to our solar system and we wouldn't know it until it starts snacking on the sun. WHAT YOU'LL SEE The sun will suddenly start unwinding itself, and then everything will go black. Soon after the black hole will begin the process of collapsing all matter into a single point. So u, ur family, Meagan Good (oh why!), Obama, boko haram, ur couch, ur crush, ur porn, all ur savings, the kardashians (oh yeah!), Guiness Stout (oh why!), the Pacific Ocean, and a billion plus Chinese people will all be crushed into an area the size of a golf ball. #3. SOLAR EXPANSION ![]() Did you know that the sun is slowly expanding into a red giant? Due to the constant and massive nuclear reactions going on inside the sun, it turns out it's possible for it to suddenly expand a whole crapload at any time. WHAT YOU'LL SEE Solar Expansion wouldn't kill you instantly. Not like u'll have a long time though, let's say, a couple seconds to a few days at most. However, the situation would rapidly degenerate as all the water on Earth dries up in a couple of days. If u don't mind killing a few people for bottled water, you might last the week. Otherwise, you're probably screwed. And when the bottled water gets exhausted, u'll still get screwed #2. GALACTIC CANNIBALISM ![]() This phenomenon is just what it sounds like: When two galaxies run into each other, one eats the other. Planets go crashing into each other and get sucked into supermassive black holes, and solar systems get "ejected" from each galaxy. Now, the closest known galaxy that will probably run into ours is the Andromeda Galaxy, which is sauntering toward the Milky Way at a lazy 120 km/sec. In case you just ran into the other room to get ur rosary, bible or holy water, get back in here and relax. At that speed, they won't run into us for about 3 billion years. However, there are galaxies out there we can't see and they are made up solely of dark matter and black holes. One of these silent killers could run into us any time now. WHAT YOU'LL SEE We've never observed this happening before, but scientists have theorized that it'll be about the most spectacular and flashy thing ever. ![]() Like this, but you'll be dead. Planets will go hurdling through space, supermassive black holes will eat solar systems and shit out Quasars. That will be like.a collabo of Fast n Furious and The Avengers playing out on a cosmic scale. #1. THE BIG RIP There is a mysterious force operating in the universe called "dark energy." If that sounds scary, it's because astrophysicists like to come up with scary names for things that are actually code for "We have no idea what this is." More importantly, scientists say dark energy may be responsible for the Big Bang and creating the universe. And they say it might not be done. Dark energy may, at any moment, decide to randomly split every atom in the universe. WHAT YOU'LL SEE An astrophysicist calmly stated, "It's like turning off all the lights... it's the end of time, the end of the universe." ![]() While you're trying to wrap your head around that, just remember that if it happens, you won't care. You won't care because you won't exist. It could happen before you finish your next sentence. ![]() cc: UjSizzle, mkmyers45, kolooyinbo, khalhokage, destinysaid, HolyHero, MrFlavvor. Source: cracked.com, nasa.gov and yours' truly. So let's say u were given prior 1month notice of any of these events happening, how would u spend ur last 1month on earth? Answers pls!!! I'll spend mine by 1st baring my heart to all d gals who didn't know I was crushing on them, starting from Meagan Good to one nairaland gal like that ![]() |
Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by MrFlavvor(m): 11:40am On Jul 14, 2015 |
ho!*closes tabs"pornhub" and naijauncut.gets down on both knees and starts praying * oh no!
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Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by HolyHero: 11:50am On Jul 14, 2015 |
sadly it won't happen |
Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by destinysaid(m): 11:58am On Jul 14, 2015 |
*closing xvideo , melonstube , pornhub* ........ Cracked.com!!! I love that site, I always open it along side facebook and nairaland.... Informative and funny. |
Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by khalhokage(m): 12:38pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
destinysaid: This article seems like something cracked would post. |
Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by khalhokage(m): 12:39pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
Where's the rest OP, stop wasting valuable xvideos time. |
Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by destinysaid(m): 1:33pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
khalhokage:it actually is, read it sometime ago,..... hokage? Name suggests ur an A N I M E fan |
Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by khalhokage(m): 1:50pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
destinysaid: You're right, currently watching AoT |
Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by khalhokage(m): 1:56pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
OP remove the "s" from the "https" for the images to show. |
Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by Nobody: 2:32pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
1 Like |
Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by Nobody: 2:47pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
khalhokage: Yea d inspiration was from Cracked and NASA, then I spiced it ![]() Thanks 4 d picture trick u told me. Didn't know dat. Been trying 2 complete d post but nairaland servers were overloaded. destinysaid: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Stop watching p0rn o |
Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by Blakjewelry(m): 2:54pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
Even before reading the first thought that comes to my mind is Gama ray bust. They are the most powerful after the big bang |
Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by khalhokage(m): 2:56pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
ChokolateBoss: You're welcome, it was a fun read, and commend the amount of work you must have put into bringing it to Nairaland. |
Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by Nobody: 3:02pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
khalhokage: Yea it wasn't easy, especially d editing. A much-feared topic like death deserves some spice of humor. Got any science site u could recommend? Blakjewelry: Just getting 2 kw abt gamma-ray bursts. That's freaking scary on a epic scale.... |
Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by khalhokage(m): 3:09pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
ChokolateBoss:yeah www.iflscience.com no humor just science news. |
Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by Blakjewelry(m): 3:39pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
ChokolateBoss:The possibility of gamma-ray bursts happening around our system is very rare. The odds of any of the above happening is very slim, you forget to mention my favorite "killer asteroid" On the link to science site, I use nasa for mission update and research update. I even have the nasa app on mobile it's a cool app. I will try to post some links later |
Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by seunlayi(m): 5:30pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
God help us 1 Like |
Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by MrFlavvor(m): 8:39pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
eh buh OP,you be winch?how you take know say I dey view porn? |
Re: 5 Real Cosmic Events That Could Wipe Us Out Right Now by Nobody: 1:08pm On Jul 15, 2015 |
MrFlavvor: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Cos d lord spoke to me... I just said sth dat coincided with wat u were doing. Oya pay ur tithe to me now ![]() |
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