Stats: 3,190,616 members, 7,941,364 topics. Date: Friday, 06 September 2024 at 04:08 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / 10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s (1094 Views)
Lady Who Was Duped And Jilted By 8 Men Finally Got Married In Lagos / 10 Things You MUST Know About Dating A Girl In Her Late 20s / 10 Valid Reasons You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s (2) (3) (4)
10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by abat4real37(f): 9:56pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
I just came across this and decided to share it here. Every time I see a young woman flashing her engagement ring, I want to grab her by the hand, sit her down, and counsel her. It’s not that I’m against women getting married while in their 20s; I just know that marriage is so much better when you wait until your 30s. I’ve been there, done that, and conquered adversity. I’m 34 years old and on my second marriage. My divorcee demographics: *.Met my future ex-husband: Age 25 *.Bling, bling, got the ring: Age 26 *.Got hitched: Age 27 *.Got ditched: Age 28 I’m proud of the fact that I got divorced in my 20s. It means I had the courage to leave my home, pick up the pieces, and start my life over when all my friends were getting married and having babies. I could’ve stayed in an unhappy situation — spending every night sleeping next to someone who no longer wanted to be married to me — knowing I would never have the future of my dreams. Instead, I chose to chase those dreams. And now, I’m living them. I’m grateful for my “failed” marriage. I prefer to refer to it as a learning experience because it led me to where I’m supposed to be: happily remarried, and mommy to a beautiful daughter and two fur-children. I made my divorce a positive experience by uniting with other twenty-something divorcées to show them that they’re not lone wolves — we have a pack. I formed a private online support group, hosted local meet-ups, conducted interviews, and published a book: Trash the Dress: Stories of Celebrating Divorce in your 20s. When my marriage ended, I made a list of qualities I wanted in a new mate, and luckily enough I found someone who meets all the requirements on my checklist. We got married when I was 32 years old, and I can say with confidence that this wedding dress will be preserved. Marriage in your 30s is way better than in your 20s. Now that I have my happily ever after, I can’t imagine going through life with my ex-husband. Marriage works when you’ve found the right person. But there are also advantages to waiting until you’re a little older to tie the knot: 1. By your 30s, you most likely have sewed your oats. You’ve dated around, know what’s out there, and got all the bad boy lovin’ out of your system. 2. You’ve had enough time to recover from your first major heartbreak. During my research, I found that many women got married because they thought they’d never find anyone else to compare to their first love, so they settled. 3. Your 20s are about self-indulgence. You’re creating yourself. By your 30s, you know who you are and what you can offer a partner. You’re not going to outgrow each other. 4. With age comes maturity and better communication skills. Instead of fighting over little things or pushing issues under the rug, you know how to address them. 5. You know what you want. You’re not going to waste time dating someone in your 30s when you know it’s not going anywhere, so the partner you marry will be someone with whom you can have a successful future. 6. You’ve established self-confidence. By bringing out the best in yourself, you’re enhancing your marriage. 7. By your 30s, you’ve hopefully learned how to manage money. Finances are a huge source of conflict for couples and a reason many young couples divorce. Who wants to spend all their nights fighting about cash flow? 8. You’re more secure in your career in your 30s. This provides you the time and energy to focus on a marriage. 9. You’ve had time to live alone. Either with a roommate or love interest, and you’ve become a responsible adult. You’re not learning this while adjusting to marriage. 10. You’ve found your voice. In your 20s, you’re facing pressure from friends, family, and society to follow the norm. In your 30s, you have the courage to stand up for yourself. And that will lead you to where you should be and who’s supposed to accompany you on this life adventure. |
Re: 10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by piicity(m): 9:57pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
*OP BE MY GF OR I DON'T BELIVE IT:* |
Re: 10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 10:17pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
not in this modern day....
people ll think you are cursed... |
Re: 10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Adaeze003(f): 10:23pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
But some girls get married in their 20s and have a blissful home... 6 Likes |
Re: 10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by iphanyiuma(m): 10:36pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
Just. Thinking ooohh....maybe the op. is igbo |
Re: 10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 10:39pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
abat4real37:Bullshit! Who care if u remain single for the rest of your days. |
Re: 10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 11:48pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
God forbid me getting married in my 30s. #2016istheyear |
Re: 10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by UyiIredia(m): 12:59am On Jul 15, 2015 |
Adaeze003: My parent married in their 20's and had a lasting marriage. A classmate of mine is married and the marriage is doing well. |
Re: 10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by skyfullofstars(f): 2:46am On Jul 15, 2015 |
I agree... I'm 24 years old, and I regret settling down... I should have waited longer, to get to know my husband better. Now it's too late... I'm lost, I don't know what to do. I would advice everyone of you to get to know the person very well and wait a reasonable amount of time before taking any major decision, like getting married... |
Re: 10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by tpiadotcom: 3:45am On Jul 15, 2015 |
op you should include the fact that in your religion or maybe culture, divorce is not necessarily frowned on, and there are support systems for women who are divorced (they don't get "stigmatized" to the same extent as other places). I gleaned the former from your carefree attitude and post history as well. don't lead folks astray here, people are not the same and despite what I mentioned earlier, many women who did get divorced, asked the government to help them find other husbands. where are you from, actually? Are you Nigerian? ![]() |
Re: 10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by tpiadotcom: 3:46am On Jul 15, 2015 |
of course I'm not saying you had to stay married to someone you weren't compatible with (whatever you or your partner's definition of compatibility is), but the picture you're presenting, doesn't work for everyone. |
Re: 10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by tpiadotcom: 3:48am On Jul 15, 2015 |
skyfullofstars: very necessary, especially these days when everybody has opened eye. what is your idea of a reasonable length of time? |
Re: 10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Nobody: 3:56am On Jul 15, 2015 |
Soon it will be 20 reasons y u shud get married in ur 40s ![]() |
Re: 10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by tpiadotcom: 4:03am On Jul 15, 2015 |
true. However, people should learn to live and let live. Your story is NOT someone else's own, your story is YOUR story. |
Re: 10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by tpiadotcom: 4:07am On Jul 15, 2015 |
I prefer to refer to it as a learning experience because it led me to where I’m supposed to be: happily remarried, and mommy to a beautiful daughter and two fur-children. what are fur-children? ![]() hope this is not the "stigma" stuff someone was worried about the other day. ![]() |
Re: 10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Poochai354: 4:22am On Jul 15, 2015 |
See verbosity |
Re: 10 Reasons Why You Should Get Married In Your 30s, Not Your 20s by Arami92: 4:41am On Jul 15, 2015 |
I think less emphasis should be put on age and more on maturity, the fact is SOME women are ready for marriage in their twenties and some are not..some men are ready in their twenties while some men won't be ready until they are at least 46. I always say it's never good to develop standards through the lens of our own experiences, this post subtly alludes to the assumption young couples are headed for disaster which is so far from the truth... MATURITY is what's important= mental, spiritual, and emotional maturity..emphasis on EMOTIONAL maturity and everyone progresses through this at different ages. Good post! |
(1) (Reply)
Ladies!!! Oya Choose Your Man / How To Know If You Are In Love / ,
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 32 |