parasite:
Things Buhari must know before travelling to the United States for his first official visit.We don't want another embarrassment.
#Buharibeforeyouembarrassusagain
1: The President of the United States is Barack Obama and not Osama.
2: The American leader is called President and not Prime Minister.
3: The people overseeing their "ministries" are called Secretaries and not ministers. That's why John Kerry (not kwerry o) is called Secretary of State.
4: They will probably not understand your terrible accent.So please, go with an English interpreter to interprete your English.
5: You don't need to travel with a 32 man delegation. It's waste of resources and totally unnecessary.
6: If Obama gives you a tour of the Airforce one, don't come back and tell us you want one.We can't afford it.We are still looking for money to construct your helipad in Daura.
7: Please, no matter the temptation, don't try to crack jokes with that terrible accent.They will not understand you and it will be very awkward.
8: It is the United States congress and not kwongress.
9: If you promise to bring sex marriage to Nigeria, Nigerians will eat you alive.Though Rotimi Amaechi who dresses like a woman may support you.
10: If Susan Rice or any top female official offers their hands, shake them . Don't take your religious fanaticism there.
11: The American press is not like Nation, Sun Newspapers or Vanguard.You can't buy them.Their press men are not like Femi Adesina, they won't accept brown envelopes.
12: Please try not to engage Obama in an intellectual discussion.He is far above your level.Obama is a graduate of Harvard while you are a graduate of Daura cattle farm.The difference is very clear.
13: Please don't talk about racism in America.It's none of your business, and apart from that, you are a hardcore tribalist.Tribalism and racism are twins.So a tribalist talking about racism is unadulterated hypicrisy.
Please, in the name of God, don't embarrass us again!
#dontembarrassusagain#