@ poster

You have heard it all, it now left for u to use your head and make your decision.

Best of luck to you, guy.

Man i think you are taking the wrong step
reconsider your decisions, these ladies are
are not the ideal women for you.
i word is enough for the wise.
Man think am well ooh.

Guy! You better know yourself fast and move forward. The first girl is playing with you and the second one wants to make you her pet.

Do you know one thing women/Girls/ Ladies can't handle? It is called succes. Be successful and you'll see Queen Elizabeth following you instead of those riff raff girls. Invest your time in something that will make you successful and they (girls) would definitely come looking for you then you will give them rules.

My Brother, point of advice never bring such mind bogging issue to this forum WRONG, you will be more confused, marrage as they say is a long time commitment not childs play, next time tread with caution before making a choice, you're lucky you got good advice here - leave the 2 girls and start afresh, God will guide you.

VAN DER JO.PLS I BEG U TO FORGET THE LIKES OF EQUILIBRUM AND FORBIDDEN COS AS A MATTER OF FACT,ITS MEN LIKE THEM THAT ALMOST KILL THEMSELVES WHEN A GIRL LEAVES THEM.FOLLOW UR HEART.IF UR HEART LIES TO U THEN U DONT KNOW WHAT U REALLY WANT.OF COURSE IT IS EASIER TO HAVE A FLING THAN TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP BUT U SHLD UNDERSTAND THAT SEX IS SEX.IT DOESNT REALLY MATTER WHAT U CALL IT.IF U FEEL U RE USING THE GIRL TO DUMP HER,THEN REMEMBER THAT U URSELF HAS BEEN USED TOO.I'M GLAD U SAID U'VE SLEPT WITH ANY OF THEM BUT EVEN IF U HAVE,PLS ALWAYS TREAT A WOMAN WITH RESPECT.REMEMBER U HAVE SISTERS AND HOPEFULLY WILL HAVE A DAUGHTER TOMORROW.PAUSE AND PONDER

na wa ooo. dis kind matter na for pigin e dey sweet, to start with, how u go claim say u get babe for 2yrs and u never see her. u sef. where u from ? abeg make i give u my sister number so u fit date her for 3 yrs via fone, and u go send many recharge cards and money. if i be the girl sef, i for tire 4 u, kaiii.where u grow up sef ?

notime:

na wa ooo. dis kind matter na for pigin e dey sweet,  to start with, how u go claim say u get babe for 2yrs and u never see her. u sef. where u from ? abeg make i give u my sister number so u fit date her for 3 yrs via fone, and u go send many recharge cards and money. if i be the girl sef, i for tire 4 u, kaiii.where u grow up sef ?

Simply put, the guy's a mental case

this one pass kolomental abeg, 2 years, and u call her everyday for 2yrs, come onnnnn man. the money u spent on calling her will be more than enough to travel to see her, as long as she is in this Nija, u built 2 yrs of infactuation not love, grow up bro, face reality, and pls,, when next u have a girlfriend, make sure she is not a ghost b4 proposing marriage. u be nigerian at all ?

I agree wif you, all da way

So you havent met the first lady?
You get powerkeep Pining away for a ghost!

@poster,
j.j. mugu couture na im b ur label?seriously u dey act lik designer mugu

^singing "i'm in luv with 2 women, and i dont know which one to take! . . ."

ma guy, na lie. Search within urself for what u truly want from life and reconsider ur seeming predicament,

_{Abuse is inevitable when purpose is not defined.}

seriously, why u dey Bleep up, u dey fall our hand, why the girl nor go bone u ? if i be the girl, i go dump u twice cos u dey Bleep up bad bad, kaiiii, claiming to date a girl for 2yrs and u havnt bothered to meet her. u be real nigerian maga

@notime,spoilt,binahmad,onyexra,
Thanks for the criticism,its welcomed but whatever one sows he/she shall reap.i don't believe everybody is same so you don't blame me for trusting her,i learned from it and it doesn't change me from who i am and i will find the good one,one way or the other.

Its only rechargecards she got.no big deal about it,i'm only concerned of my emotions not the recharge cards.

i hear u. u say u will find a good one, but pls make sure u see her in person this time.ok. no beef. but u made a big mistake trying to propose to someone u havnt met. its absurd, and as for the recharge cards, u fit send me some oooo. i nor mind. let me take dat as my consultation fee.(or fee for this therapy session), lol. stay safe bro,

wbb

bros eh, i throw way salut o.with ur styl of luv,u go turn all our naija babes 2 millionaire o.gal wey u neva see u don already get emotions 4 am?wat if d gal na cripple?(i no mean say cripples no b human beings o)

@poster
The answers in this thread are very sincere and the best you can get anywhere!

A lot of us had gone through similar experiences, some even did worse than you did. We only learnt our lessons when we came out of it. Don't be hard on yourself, we all make mistakes, it's natural. The good thing here is you realised your mistake. Love is not mathematics where 1 plus 1 is 2. When we are in love rightly or wrongly, our sense of reasoning is beclouded by emotions, even in our sober moment when we realise we are not doing the right thing, it's still difficult for us to come to terms with it and keep hoping upon hope that things will work out well.

My advise will be based from two perspectives, though not different from what others had already written.

ONE: Since you and the other lady (the one you met online) had communicated for two years, it presupposes you know a little about her. Since you have spent time and money trying to build the relationship, the only reasonable way that relationship can work is for both of you to meet (not once but frequently) so that you get to know each other better. Proposing marriage to someone you never met before was an action taken too much in a haste.


TWO: From your write-up, the lady you met online has little prospect for you, she seems to have realised your naivety, so she decided to exploit it. The decision here is to forget about her.

I only dwelt on the lady you met online because I think you should forget about the other lady without any consideration.

My advise will be to forget the two ladies and start on a clean sheet, that is, after giving yourelf enough time to heal the wound.

Though, the choice is still yours to make. Good luck!

Come on People, must we all marry? Play with these ladies' sth and move on.You can still have kids without a marriage if you like. Marriage is a jail if you don't become successful and set the rules.Although we have divorce as an option (make sure prenup is there oh) I would want more Ray Parlour.@ Psoter, this experience is bitter but let it not repeat itself oh. Rich guys shouldn't be falling our hands. This is why I dey hail Psqaure side1 and Tuface. Toy with them and move on with your kids.I no send kids sef! Just myself and siblings! The crop of women thesedays are just efulefu.

Mr ferdiii, your'e joking, right?

@ poster i think u and the 1st gal are just fooling each self, If for 2yrs the gal u claim to love, u could not make out time to go and c her and she too could not make out time to come and c u (No matter the kind of job / involvement). This is just a tom & jerry play. NB: "if mohammed does not go to mountain, mountain will come to mohammed". marriage is more than 24hrs talk on fone.
For the 2nd gal, i dislike gals who are too policing and over jealous. So if u feel u can cope wit her then marry her but if u can't then burst it.

I suggest you leave both of them and move on to greater things.  In my view, you have not explored women at all - your interactions with these two women is not enough to understand relationships, what makes women tick and marriage. Try to explore as many women as possible before making this life time decision, ok?  But be careful, in terms of emotional involvment use your head and not your heart because not following these rules have been known for teaching men the greatest lessons of their lives. 

Right, concerning these two women in your life the signs are already there for you to see but you chose not to see them again, following your heart instead of your head - CHEATING from one, MONEY hungry from another when you haven't even met, oh no,   Your communication and interactions had only been on the phone which is obvious, you don't even know her.  She might not be what you think she is - for what I know, she could even be a drag Queen, and this could give you the shock of your life when you finally met up.lol!!!  Besides, she is a bully and plays on your emotions - plays tantrum if she doesn't get her way.  For example, portraying the most uncivilised behaviour by being rude on the phone when  she supposed to be an intelligent and educated woman - no, no,no! Civilised people do not shut people down on the phone when they can't have their ways, irrespective of whatever the upset, ok! Behaving this way, suggests to me she is an emotional abuser and she has already been abusing you when you hadn't even started, get real, please!  There are millions of fishes in the ocean and one there is for you, believe it. On another note, beware of long distance relationships - it does not always work - to work both must be God fearing and truely in love with each other and in your case, that's not there.

As for the second woman, please forget about old flames!  It's true that the devil you know is better than the Angel you don't know however, if the Angel you know happens to have incurable destructive traits, does it really worth it?? Move on and seek neutral grounds please! You see, cheating by a man or woman is never acceptable in any relationship.  A relationship built on that will never survive -  one thing or the other will hit it, watch this space!!! She may love you but you don't trust her so what's the point - a relationship based on pretences and lies,  sorry!
Please, find other women - study them very well before commiting yourself because marriage is a life long investment for happiness, that way you might be lucky to find the woman of your dreams.  As for you, you are not particularly an Angel yourself, are you??  You see, what goes round, comes round too - if not trebble times.  When you cheat someone (you had a girl friend when you met up again with this old flame of yours), another would do same to you and that's the natural code. Good luck with whatever decision you reach in this issue!

the heart u break may be your own

notime:

seriously, why u dey mess up, u dey fall our hand, why the girl nor go bone u ? if i be the girl, i go dump u twice cos u dey mess up bad bad, kaiiii, claiming to date a girl for 2yrs and u havnt bothered to meet her. u be real nigerian maga

Agree with u.

@Poster,
What if, when u finally meet her, she turns out to be "otutupoyoyo".

lol.

i say you just close your eyes and pick

@Theblessed,
This is the most objective i advice i did receive and i appreciate it and will do exactly as u say,i have been involve with women but not many cuz i am not that kind of man,i can proudly say i never cheated on any woman i dated before,i am a one woman man,i guess i met the wrong people.
I appreciate your advice.Thanks alot.

@topup,
i am a man woman,never cheated on ay woman i dated.

ok ist girl u spent an hour a day on phone with the girl? u
u must be rich oooo. i beg send me recharge call now

well, this girl does not love u and that is clear
u r in love with her and that is bad because she does not love u
if u can't send money u r a bad person?
count ur loses and get out

the 2 girl ( second paragraph is not clear )
u r talking aout two girls in that paragraph
an ex and a new one
u have said nothing about the new one.

lol,pls kx u can not be totally right, i have seen it worked b4 so internet dating is real just like every other relationship,and according to debosky .it is wise to forget both of them and start afresh with a new lady because none of them is visible of working out well.

van der jo:

@topup,
i am a man woman,never cheated on ay woman i dated.

Quote from original post: "The second girl was a fromer not we dated that much,like four months[b],i was in a relationship when she approached me for a relationship,i didn't want to make her look stupid,i agreed cuz i was having problems with my gf then,[/b]"