jnrbayano:


What happened in my family cant be lie like I reported it and I am Igbo.

You don't stand a chance if we are to count instances where my position holds sway.

The Op tried to paint every igbo brides family as money-grabbers (that's what I can make of No 2 point) of which the onus is on me to correct that false notion (stereotype)

Those gluttons are of infinitesimal size and I say this authoritatively.

My Igbo ladies deserves some respect.

AXYZ:


We have this general belief that they are expensive. I think it's either your inlaws are rich or they stay somewhere in the Southwest.

Gurgle:


I never said you could be completely anonymous, just that I wouldn't cement it by uploading a picture

I am ok with most of the OPs points but some of them are too general and I have already had long arguments about some of them but anyway:

1. Yeah people should cut cloth according to their size, so women shouldn't be too demanding or if they want all those wedding ceremonies they should be willing to contribute. Personally I am only interested in traditional marriage, and I would try to help fund it since I know the whole thing mostly concerns me

Gurgle:

2. Not all Igbo ladies are naturally at risk. I hate it when people use this bride price thing against Igbos; everybody knows how decentralised Igbo people are so if you have a custom in one Igbo clan it doesn't necessarily apply to another clan. I agree that some clans are very extortionate but not all are, for example my place is not. And if you know your area is like that, or the area the lady is from will ask for a lot of things then why not prepare in advance instead of coming on here to complain

Gurgle:

3. How many struggling men will continue with the same girl after they have made it, and not try to upgrade?

Gurgle:

4. Whatever religion or faith you are you should try and think for yourself, especially when it comes to something as important as marriage. I don't know what kind of church OP is referring to but I guess its one of those "my pastor says this, my pastor says that" ones which I tend to think is nonsense but I may visit one of them one of these days and see if any of them has anything useful to say.

The lady he is complaining about had a belief she was trying to uphold but she could have called OP when he was still sick and explained why she didn't want to visit. Anyway OP was wrong to cut off the friendship because although she explained it late, its still a genuine reason and I think he overreacted

Gurgle:

5. Rough past is what it is, unfortunately. After conversing with many guys on NL I can see how important it is to keep as clean as possible, though we may slip from time to time. If there is too much in your past it becomes difficult for the man to cope with

Gurgle:

6. Yeah we should all be working on being good wife material, definitely. Well we should just work on being good people, which makes us wife material by default

ronald4lif:
There are potential husbands everywhere and when they're ready to get married they will. They keep waiting for ready-made guys whose heart belong somewhere else, prolly to a loyal lady who stood by them through thick and thin.

Except if they want to tell us those bus drivers, conductors, unemployed graduates and those earning less than 50K a month aren't good enough. Then they can as well mould a Dangote and Tony Elumelu replica for themselves.

ronald4lif:
...Then they can as well mould a Dangote and Tony Elumelu replica for themselves.

Gurgle:


Please help me tell them!

So from the whole Igbo territory, from Opobo to Nsukka, he concluded that all bride-prices are the same?! We don't even all use the same greeting, for goodness sake. So how did he reach that conclusion

jnrbayano:
You were making sense until no 2.

"Igbos" are not expensive. The bride price paid to the bride's family is returned to the man in a 9 out of 10 situation (the bride price paid in the head of each of my 3 sisters were returned)

EVILFOREST:
Women don SUFFER

MARRIAGE is now an OLYMPIC Game.
The TRUTH is that MOST MEN are tired of MARRIAGE.
Because some believed that Things will get better immediately they get married, unfortunately it is not so.

Most MEN are JOBLESS now, so I ask with what will they come with to MARRY these ladies...?

NOW most MEN are been relieved of their duty.

LADIES are now more FAVOURED in the labour market because of ? CUSTOMER SERVICE which most of them indulge in. With this how do you expect the guys to earn a living and marry.

I have 2 elder BROTHERS who are yet to stand firm.
One was relieved by a BANK, which is what they are known for(not reaching the target). He is devasted. This is someone that just got married few days before sack, whereby the BANK MANAGER was invited.

Now how the u expect him to see marriage.?

So LIFE is getting more difficult... NOT that we Don't have MARRIAGEABLE LADIES.
Most LADIES have Jobs, some Lucrative yet they still find it difficult getting a HUSBAND... Because 97% of AFRICAN men can't stand having a lady as BREAD WINNER while alive. So they remain single till GOD knows when.

By 2020, I foresee DISASTER, if this issue of YOUTHS unemployment is not addressed.
Most LADIES will resort to getting only Pregnant.

IF a lady really wants to know how SWEET a husband is, Just ask a WIDOW.

EVILFOREST:
Women don SUFFER

MARRIAGE is now an OLYMPIC Game.
The TRUTH is that MOST MEN are tired of MARRIAGE.
Because some believed that Things will get better immediately they get married, unfortunately it is not so.

Most MEN are JOBLESS now, so I ask with what will they come with to MARRY these ladies...?

NOW most MEN are been relieved of their duty.

LADIES are now more FAVOURED in the labour market because of ? CUSTOMER SERVICE which most of them indulge in. With this how do you expect the guys to earn a living and marry.

I have 2 elder BROTHERS who are yet to stand firm.
One was relieved by a BANK, which is what they are known for(not reaching the target). He is devasted. This is someone that just got married few days before sack, whereby the BANK MANAGER was invited.

Now how the u expect him to see marriage.?

So LIFE is getting more difficult... NOT that we Don't have MARRIAGEABLE LADIES.
Most LADIES have Jobs, some Lucrative yet they still find it difficult getting a HUSBAND... Because 97% of AFRICAN men can't stand having a lady as BREAD WINNER while alive. So they remain single till GOD knows when.

By 2020, I foresee DISASTER, if this issue of YOUTHS unemployment is not addressed.
Most LADIES will resort to getting only Pregnant.

IF a lady really wants to know how SWEET it is to be married , Just ask a WIDOW.

jaybee3:

The issue of choosing an acceptable or preferential method of tying the knot largely has nothing to do with women or their inconsiderate demands.

The law doesn't necessarily recognise religion/traditional wedding so court wedding is needed by default in order to safeguard marriage rights

Nigeria is a very religious country and thus guided by holy books. It's not unrealistic to expect the parents to expect their kids to be joined in holy matrimony or whatever they call it

Then you have the traditional wedding ish which usually doubles up as formal gathering/introduction between the two family

As much as it seems excessive, marriage is a one time thing and the couples can cut cost by not making it wholly extravagant. They can also schedule it with enough spread in between so it doesn't become financially draining (Although this is a bit risky if the interval is to much as people are known to change their minds at will)

jaybee3:


I don't believe issues of bride price with my Igbo sisters is the main reason why they aren't getting married at the so called acceptable time period.
It has more to do with availability of eligible Igbo men. Igbos have strong cultural orientation and as such almost certainly prefer to marry within their culture

jaybee3:


Men don't necessarily dump their wives as they progress in life. They usually just cheat and expect the wives to be understanding

jaybee3:

Past should never determine the future. It should always be about present with complete honesty

omalcha:

True for Anambra state. Don't know about the other states. 95% of mine was returned too.

wrongnumber:


I was watching a talk show on tvc this morning and a marriage councilor talked about an igbo lady that cried to him saying her dad wants a millon naira for her bride price.

She further said her dad should even give her free to the guy because she has aborted 3 times gor the guy and she will be the one to lose should the guy leaves.

I pity igbo ladies.I honestly do.

absoluteSuccess:
But first you have to get the money and find wife from the family that returns the bride price to prove the Op wrong.

Gentle2015:



...That is how I was scammed. Couldn't dance well throughout after I was told that #10 was the bride price out of the #850k I dropped. I took responsibility for everything both from my side and my in laws. My expectation was that I will still have my #850k back and won't mind spending more for the main thing. I felt depressed later and even took it on my wife for few days. Seriously, I felt cheated and this took toll on my planned honey moon trip.

Be careful, there is nothing like returned of bride price

wrongnumber:


I smell a rat. Woman admiring woman.

toprealman:
BRIDE IN MY VILLA IS INSIGNIFICANT.

Gentle2015:



...That is how I was scammed. Couldn't dance well throughout after I was told that #10 was the bride price out of the #850k I dropped. I took responsibility for everything both from my side and my in laws. My expectation was that I will still have my #850k back and won't mind spending more for the main thing. I felt depressed later and even took it on my wife for few days. Seriously, I felt cheated and this took toll on my planned honey moon trip.

Be careful, there is nothing like returned of bride price

jnrbayano:
You were making sense until no 2.

"Igbos" are not expensive. The bride price paid to the bride's family is returned to the man in a 9 out of 10 situation (the bride price paid in the head of each of my 3 sisters were returned)

Omotayor123:
Hmm.. My main man

So on point.. You talk wisdom.

Ademat7:
probably u should give us orientation about how it is cos we(yoruba) dread proposing to igbo girls,a thread on that will b ok. thank u

sinaj:


thak you

emzila:

hey! Stop it there, the guy has just post one of the most comprehensive and real life causes of most late marriage situation of an average Nigerian lady and don't try to deny d fact that the bride price paid to marry an average igbo girl is high considering our economic situation. Your family may have a considerate arrangement on that but don't defend others. I am not an igbo man but i had spent more than a decade in igbo land
and cant be brain washed. The only thin i ve noticed recently is that the reasonable and enlighten ladies who understand the situation now chose to assist their prospective husbands to cross the huddle by contributing financially toward the success of the marriage.