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Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Nobody: 6:50am On Jun 01, 2010 |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 6:51am On Jun 01, 2010 |
LAMO!!! Ebony and BB una no well |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Tgirl4real(f): 4:06pm On Jun 02, 2010 |
I'm cool my dear(s). BB, I don't understand you these days o. How's my baby? |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Tgirl4real(f): 12:27pm On Jun 10, 2010 |
Guys, letz discuss this: I was watching a soap on TV recently where a girl's(about to wed) younger siblings(with a wide age difference) call her fiance by name. At first, I thought probably cos they are noy Yorubas, but I later discovered that the girl's mum is Yoruba. Should we always embrace western culture and forget ours? Again, I watched another one, where the kids greet their parents hi mum, hi dad. Am I old school or we don't value our culture anymore? |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by netotse(m): 7:52pm On Jun 10, 2010 |
Tgirl4real:truth be told, respect is not a function of what we refer to people as, it's still possible to call someone brother **** and be rude. . . i call my parents mummy and daddy, dont see how diff that is from mum and dad. hello mummy and hi mum are the same thing. caveat: i'm not yoruba, and my people aren't big on prefixes. . .lol |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Nobody: 8:03pm On Jun 10, 2010 |
Tgirl4real:Tgirl4real, no you're not old fashion. Your observation and shock was correctly made. I find it quite rude infact that a younger girl would call her older sister's fiancee by name. When she shouldnt even be calling her sister by name. We've welcomed the western culture into our own culture. Day by day, the respect for our culture diminishes, which saddens me. There's no reason for any child, naija bred and born to wake up in the morning and greet his parent like that. It's not totally the kids fault or the girl's younger siblings fault. It's how society tolerates the act. I'm sure the kids wont greet their parents that way if the parents said something about it. But then, you have to realize that as time goes by, people adapt to what they find preferable. Society says "No", society says "Yes". . . . at the end, it's what "I" say when I have my own children to raise that's really going to matter. |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by dayokanu(m): 8:10pm On Jun 10, 2010 |
i tot u said u were done with this place? |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by netotse(m): 8:26pm On Jun 10, 2010 |
dayokanu: fl done with this thread? i laff in afrikaans FL Gators:babe you really shouldn't use absolutes, as i mentioned in my post, we are not big on brother and sister in my place, it's mostly southwesterners that are into the whole thing. . . like i said, whether or not you call someone by his name or whatever doesn't mean you respect the person, i know a lot of people that do the whole brother thing but are still as rude and uncouth as anything. . . so if my sister now marries someone ten years older than me i should call him brother abi? *thunder fire his head! |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Nobody: 10:00pm On Jun 10, 2010 |
netotse: Yes, I agree with you, calling someone brother or aunty does not mean you respect that person. But that's not what I'm trying to achieve. I want them to know why they have to say "brother or aunty". . . because it's respectful, because thatz heir elder. It's like a mini step to growing up. . . like, why do we have to say "Please. . . " and "Thank You. . . .". Kids needs to know what respect is, what etiquette is while they still can. |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by netotse(m): 10:54pm On Jun 10, 2010 |
^^OK i get your point now, even though it's wierd when your siblings insist on calling me uncle sha. . .but just for you |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Tgirl4real(f): 3:17pm On Jun 11, 2010 |
Good one FL, The shocking and annoying thing is that the media is promoting it. I think I will mail the producers of those soaps. It's really annoying. I'm not after aunty or brother. Infact, at a one point in my life I discourage people from calling me aunty until I realized that I was going again their moral upbringing. If a child was brought up to respect her elders, it's wrong for we so-called 'liberated' ones to discourage them. We have a culture. Let's not allow western influence to dictate how we live. @ netotse I tire 4 u |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 6:47am On Jun 14, 2010 |
Tgirl4real: IMO, i think shes being a little bit disrespectful by calling her elder sisters husband by name. i wouldnt have a problem with it if she was the older one then calling him by name is no problem in my view. but then again, if her culture has no special name they call this kinds of people i wouldnt blame her. and if the sister has no issues with her young sis, doing so then . . . . . i see nothing really wrong in the greeting "hi mom, hi dad" in many instances as long as she doesnt wakeup in the morning and tell me "hi mom". i dont think youre being old fashioned but i personally wouldnt be so strict about it |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Nobody: 6:52am On Jun 14, 2010 |
~Sissy~: She's Yoruba. And our culture demands she place an "uncle" or "aunt" in front of his name. Its these modernization thing. . . . netotse:aha Tgirl4real:Sweety, you have nothing to fear if you bring your children up the way you think is right. . . . they won't go astray if you hold on to them |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 6:56am On Jun 14, 2010 |
nah, i'm just saying in general. |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Tgirl4real(f): 1:53pm On Jun 14, 2010 |
I also noticed dat well behaved kids by responsible parents born and breed abroad holds to our culture more than d ones in naija. D naijas behave like little wannabes. I blame thier parents 4 not teaching them to appreciate our culture. |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 7:59pm On Jun 14, 2010 |
oh really? you'd think it will the other way around since those bred abroad would be trying to balancing two cultures-birth land and father land |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Nobody: 6:11am On Jun 15, 2010 |
~Sissy~: ~Sissy~:The ones born and bread in naija, but left at a young age will often try to hold on to their identity; the comfort of differentiating oneself from a pack of group and the comfort of having a place to belong. The ones born abroad rarely care about their culture. If they even know their culture lol. A sensitive question for you, Sissy. Would you send your kids home, to be raised in Nigeria? Why or why not? |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 10:27am On Jun 16, 2010 |
FL Gators: i think parents of those born/bred aboard who dont have a connection to their cultures are hugely to be blamed for the disconnection there. i believe as parents, one of your roles is to instill/make aware your cultures to your kids esp when they are not born in your country of origin. many kids born OV are very much eager to learn about their culture but if you have parents who find it unnecessary, waste of time etc it sort of leaves them blank. many kids born OV hardly visit nigeria or their villages or attend any nigerian cultural events held OVs. and then you have the few of those born there who dont want any thing to do with nigeria or hers cultures and some are even ashamed to be associated with nigeria or africa for reasons best known to them. |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 11:10am On Jun 16, 2010 |
@ Ebony to have their primary or secondary education ? |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Nobody: 5:36am On Jun 20, 2010 |
Sorry for the late reply. My mind justs skips the family sec sometimes lol. ~Sissy~:As much as I agree with you, sometimes some parents do try as hard as they can. All I know is that I'm gonna gonna join that statistics. I'm even thinking of doing exactly what my aunt does. Have them here, then send them home to complete their education up to the last yr of primary school. Let them spend the 5yrs after here, so they wont have to pay out-of-state tuition [I no be maga] . During the time they'r home, they can come and spend their summer break with us I loff my aunt's children, they're as Nigerian as they possibly can be, and still they have the rights and freedom as any citizen of USA. ~Sissy~:either one lol. Would you? |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 3:45am On Jun 21, 2010 |
FL Gators: Lol. yes some parents do try but i'd say a high% dont even bother. you can imagine those who thinks teaching their kids their native language automatically means they will have 'accents' which they(parents) dont want however, for some reasons when this kids are grown the same parents will be looking for every tom and harry to teach their kids their language and their cultures and some will even be willing to pay All I know is that I'm gonna gonna join that statistics. I'm even thinking of doing exactly what my aunt does. Have them here, then send them home to complete their education up to the last yr of primary school. Let them spend the 5yrs after here, so they wont have to pay out-of-state tuition [I no be maga] . During the time they'r home, they can come and spend their summer break with us thats good!getting the best of both worlds. the most important imo, is the university edu either one lol. Would you? yes i would(?) buthavent gotten the last stamp on it though |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 7:50am On Jun 22, 2010 |
@ Post i was watching a program the other day and it was about child molesters. a father who repeatedly molested his 12yr daughter while she was in his care (shared custody). a man who repeatedly raped his relative for yrs. started when he was 8 and she was 5 till she was about 17 or so. another man who raped four girls, 3 of them known to him and the other man who molested a 5yr while he a 60yr man, a relative too. oh my, i felt extremely disgusted,mad, angry and all other negative emotions imaginable. felt like vomiting on their useless faces and using a butcher knife to cut off their sick joysticks and poking out their eyes. i literally felt sick inside. gosh how could they? i felt extremely sad for this girls the topic reminded the tips MC posted here sometime ago about child molestation. which i think every parent, guardian, and everyone who deals with children needs to read will find MC's tips and repost before i continue how on this sick mens said they targeted their victims, and what parents need to watch out for |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 10:36am On Jun 22, 2010 |
from MC p.21 [size=20pt] [b]~Prevention Issues:From Research About Sex Offenders~ [size=18pt] [b]~Prevention Issues:From Research About Sex Offenders From Sex Offenders~[/size] |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 10:38am On Jun 22, 2010 |
From MC p.21 [[color=#000099]b] [size=20pt]~Some Prevention Tips ~[/size][/color] ~Some of these tips cud well be implemented in your parental guide. . . . ~Teach your children to TELL if someone tries to trick them or make suggestive sexual talk,accicendentally brush up against them or touch them!! ~Tell your child to avoid secluded places,stay in groups when possible. . .keep tabs on where you kid is/where they are hanging out,whose home etc ~Should your child end up in a Public toilet alone Not Something i advice,Teach your kid to run out & yell if someone tries to help them zip up or touch them in public toilets! ~Warn Children about some of the tactics Predators use to engage them in conversation eg Asking the time,asking for direction. . You might also want to telll your kids a predator could be a Nice Well dressed Respectable man & not likely to be a "Mean nasty man" as sterotyped!! ~If you child ever suspect someone is following them,advice them to knock on the nearest door to ask for help[/b] [size=20pt] ~Changes to watch Out For On Abused Children~[/size] |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by seasonedmom: 11:56am On Jun 22, 2010 |
~Sissy~: Sissy, I feel you totally on this and sadly this issue is on the increase simply because parents would not face up to it. Just yesterday, I read 2 of such stories in another forum and wished I saw your kind of response there too. Maybe if this response is spread around, it would wake people wake up from their stupid ostrich hide and innocent kids would be saved from this kind of pain. Read up on this on the section of 'Stories about children from around the world' on this http://www.nigerianparentsforum.com |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 12:38pm On Jun 22, 2010 |
my dear, the thing tire me o |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 12:41pm On Jun 22, 2010 |
contd on the child molesters story the man who molested his 12yr daughter. how it started according to him: the couple were both divorced and had a shared custody of their 12yr old daughter. the girl stayed with he because it was his turn in the shared custody. according to him, he saw her unclothed while she was sleeping and the all the sick fantasies started running through his mind and it all lead to touching her v[i]a[/i]gina and molesting her and that was how it all started. he kept repeating the act and sometimes the girl would be half sleep while he was doing it. she finally got the courage to tell him to stop touching her, the dad sickly asked her why, her daughter told him "because you are my dad and its wrong" he urged the girl not tell the mother however, she still found the courage and told her mom about it, when the mom inquired he woefully denied it and laid the blame on her daughter. saying, she made it up because she didnt want to stay with him blah blah etc and he still repeated it again and he was finally caught. asked whether he mastrubated when he was molesting her, he said no but always had the images in sick head. also he thought his daughter enjoyed it because she was quite during the act ====================================================================================================== the thing some men do. smh. i mean the thought/sight of seeing your daughter unclothed should make you vomit and lose you sick wrinkled erection. God save our daughters. i mean, if a girl cant be save from his own father then whats really left? |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by mamamia2: 12:59pm On Jun 22, 2010 |
~Sissy~: I always wonder the Nigerians even back home here would not bother to teach their kids their indigenous languages? A carryover of colonial mentality I dare say? terrible but the way it stands now, we can hardly impart our cultural values without the vehicle;our local languages. Its shameful to say the least. |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Nobody: 12:35am On Jun 23, 2010 |
~Sissy~:Thanks for this post, Sissy. I dont believe we've covered that on this thread. It's becoming a huge issue, esp in Nigeria. https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-466144.0.html Pedos in Lagos. ~reading over your tips/prevention~ |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Nobody: 12:46am On Jun 23, 2010 |
Nobody, nobody, not even my children or their father should complain about me watching them too hard or guarding them like babies. In this word, you cant even trust anybody anymore. Nobody has any sense of moral or taboo, they've either justified those disgusting acts with religious beliefs or. . . or. . . . I dont even know. How can a man look at his own daughter and masturbate? Seriously, what is going on? Any man that still baths his daughter while she's passed the age of 3 should be watched closely. All I can say is that, no matter how incoherent your child might sound, encouraging him/her to break their silence and talk. Dont just throw whatever you;'ve heard out of the window, investigate it. And always expect denial from the other party. Kids dont just say anything, they say anything they witnessed. Even if they might be wrong, give them benefit of the doubt. Then INVESTIGATE Sick world: Mother molesting son father molesting daughter brother molesting sister vice versa Uncle molesting nephew Uncle molesting niece Aunt molesting nephew Aunt molesting niece cousin molesting cousin sick. |
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 12:48am On Jun 23, 2010 |
no we havent truly covered the topic and i think now is the time cause this sick crimes are turning up every blessed day. i truly weep of our kids,girls and women. i mean its truly sad. i cant even read that thread cause the more i try to read it, the more pissed off i become Jehovah God please us FL Gators: |
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