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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? (5207 Views)
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A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by aameyah(f): 12:48pm On Mar 19, 2009 |
Its a normal thing that when I'm married, Ill have girlfriends by the side The quote above was what a male friend recently told me. Its a sad but true situation. Alot of young women go out with married men nowadays, its even now a 'normal trend'. But why is it normal? What's normal about lying, cheating and taking what isn't rightfully yours? What is right about a girl spreading her legs for a married man, all for financial benefits? In that situation, what makes her different from a prostitute? Is it caused by the level of poverty or is it just plain moral decadence? What is right about a man forgetting about an oath he took before God and man (Remember, God takes oaths seriously) and exposing his innocent wife to dangers inherent with extra-marital affairs? What is moral about refusing to pay his child's school fees while spoiling one(or more) useless girl with the latest nokia phone! And these married men, they become virtual 'mumus' in the hands of these small girls. A normal no-nonsense married man on a good day, would smile like the fool he is, as his girlfriend 'playfully' knocks him on the head and follows it with a 'loving?' slap, something he could never tolerate with his wife. The main reasons I have been able to reach are that; 1. Some women(though not all) sometimes let themselves go once they are married. They become unattractive and no longer care about their appearance. They also refuse to be adventurous in bed, as their children take the place of their husbands. Ladies, it doesnt have to be like that. You can be beautiful, attractive AND married! One day, those children will leave and all u have left is - U and ur Husband! You are going to be in that marriage, an average of 50 years. U dont have to to look like what a cat vomitted and run from your class reunion year after year. It doesn't require money so much as it requires planning. Planning time, money, kids, updating urself, creating time for u and him to have great sex and other stuff that make married couples tick. And P-L-E-A-S-E guys, enough with the stories of cheating because of protuding bellies and tied wrappers across flabby breasts. You know you can restore your wife back to her great self if u really want to! U can still court her like u did when u were dating, u can still be attracted to her like when u first laid eyes on her. U can still be proud to say 'that's my woman' , anytime anyday. You can stop her from sliding into the comfort of monotony and wrapper tying. U dont have to laden her with so many kids, and the few that come dont have to be in quick succession like goats. God bless the faithful man who loves, keeps and cherishes his wife. God bless the woman who treats her man like her MAN and keeps him satisfied that he doesnt have to look elsewhere! And for those of you, who delight in getting into married people's life, I have nothing to say to u. I can only preach that u change your ways. 1 Like |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by Dvampire(m): 1:11pm On Mar 19, 2009 |
wonderful thread! keep it up. please o, this should be a clarion call to all those hopeless runs girls and their protegees plus mumu married men who can't control their 'equipment' when it gears up in preparation to running amok! |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by yme1(f): 3:12pm On Mar 19, 2009 |
great work |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by sistajay(f): 3:21pm On Mar 19, 2009 |
@ Poster Good talk o! Those men when will they ever learn, chasin small girls about the place with they're pot belly. |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by ammamat(f): 3:35pm On Mar 19, 2009 |
yeah the married men are not respecting themselves, I kept asking them when they come ,Are u going to marry me too or is it all about sleeping with me? God will also help our girls to say know to them no matter how much their going to help them. Remember what u won't like somebody to do to you, please do not do it to anybody , eels it will back fire 1 Like |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by sistawoman: 4:15pm On Mar 19, 2009 |
Wow this is interesting, hubby and I had this very talk last night. He says to find a married Nigerian man that does not have a GF is like looking for a needle in a haystack. That men that dont have GF are called bastards by other Nigerian men, unless of course they are married to black women (nice how he cleaned that one up). He said that married Nigerian men, of his generation, cheat because their wives dont play very well and their feeling is that the women should come with this knowledge. I asked why not teach them and his response was that you cant teach a woman how to play very well she has to know this. So I asked more questions: Is the TV full of sexy films like here? Do they have sex ed at school? Do women talk about sex openly with each other? Do the men and women talk about what they like sexually? His responses were shocking to me and helps me understand why I face so much criticism here on the boards. No the TV is not full of sexy films like here. No they dont have sex ed in school No they dont talk about sex within their own groups No the men just know that Nigerian women are frigid in bed and dont know much so they look outside. He said that with each generation it is getting better and better that with his grandfathers generation the men did not even kiss their wives they just climbed on top did their business and climbed off. He said that back then the boys and girls slept together and they were not allowed to touch the women or they would be beaten. To say manliness or puzzy was severely punished. He said they had great discipline back then. He also said that it was just known that the men would have women outside and the women just over looked these other women and maintained their home. He once told me how he told his mother of a woman his father was seeing on the same block and how his mother told him to hush his mouth and tend to his studies. The men were shown by their fathers that cheating is the way of man and the women where shown by their mothers that they should just tolerate. As the generations progressed they became more and more sexual with their partners and that todays generation is far more sexual than his. The women now dont talk about sex, but they watch more western movies and music. I guess that is where the difference in western women and Nigerian women is great. Western women will talk with their gf's about sex and sexuality. We talk about tricks of the trade and learn new secrets from each other. We talk to our men about what we do in the bedroom and seek their approval and watch blue films for education and excitement. It appears, from what he is saying, that women in Nigeria are headed down this path as well. |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by Isuata: 6:07pm On Mar 19, 2009 |
nice conversation btw hubby n wifey wen men n women cant even talk about such issues in dia home , ow can dey talk about sexuality? dats why-no matter ow born-again a lady is, i make sure i bring out the open n dirty-talkin nature of her (n it takes alot of tym n energy) i hav come to realise ova tym dat its actually a man's job to initiate most of dis things- yu will be surprised at the result and reply yu get from yur woman, becos she ll take-ova the baton from yu. i always wondered y though- i think its becos women like to feel secure and protected while discussin such stuffs with dia man reminds of a summin i saw somewia-i ant rem wia now a man travelled and his wife was busy with his porn films she discovered in his closet- so she ova-took the baton and wen dey made luv she displayd skillz and the hubby stood and accused her of havin a yunger b/f outsyd and it turnd out to be an issue- i still cant get ova dat scene ![]() |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by landwin: 9:44pm On Mar 19, 2009 |
Sounds like you created this thread out of a broken heart and annoyance |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by onyxera(m): 4:32am On Mar 20, 2009 |
@topic, dont lay d blame solely on Naija husbands o,some ladies within few months of marriage & u ask ur self is dis d woman i married.some bloat faster than a balloon,stop putting on those sexy clothes & start tying wrapper,infact u begin 2 ask urself as a husband,were is dat sexy gal i married?so u see the ladies contribute to dis trend, transforming themselves from the honey (d husband married) to mama bomboy. |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by oluwafemi113(m): 8:12am On Mar 20, 2009 |
A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? he the happen |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by whitelexi(m): 8:40am On Mar 20, 2009 |
I think instead of cheating [as it is now called], a man should just practice polygamy if he can afford it ![]() That way, he is not doing anything wrong in the eyes of God and man! Abi women, wetin una think? |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by oluwdashmi(f): 10:06am On Mar 20, 2009 |
@poster You've have created an interesting thread ![]() @sistawoman That was a cute conversation. If this kind of conversation go on in homes, it will help the couple adjust where necessary and understand some things. whitelexi:What else do you want us to think, he is doing something wrong btw man and God. |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by martho(m): 10:08am On Mar 20, 2009 |
sistawoman:some nigerian women i knew are open,some of them have d same mentally with their western counterparts.i have been wooed so many times from d age of 14.i remembered being wooed in church by a girl while d pastor was preaching-this is 2 illustrate how bold they are.i met wild ones too. @ poster--both d girls and married men r guilty .we all now d factors responsible 4 this. |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by farotika(m): 10:11am On Mar 20, 2009 |
whitelexi: Bros, u mean the god u're serving allows polygamy ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by sparta(f): 10:12am On Mar 20, 2009 |
@ poster, It is extremely sad and sistawoman, your hubby is right when he said looking for a married man in Nigeria without a girlfriend is looking for a needle in haystack. The sad part is that it is okay most times for the man to cheat but 99% of these men cant stand it when another man layng their wives. If you want to see the true anger of a nigerian man then lay with his wife , God help you if you see the next day. What happens to the saying "treat others the same way you want them to treat you"? Do men think they are superior beings or are they just loose? Are they that weak when it comes to controlling their urges? Me thinks they should use their so called manly strength in controlling themselves, we are humans, we have the power to control ourselves. |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by Ben13: 10:16am On Mar 20, 2009 |
It's also about time we began to talk to these 'small girls' too ![]() |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by sistajay(f): 11:42am On Mar 20, 2009 |
@ Ben2001 Yes o, dose small girls need serious talkin to, unfortunately the man money sweet pass im tin, I doubt dey go listen to a word we say!! |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by whitelexi(m): 12:06pm On Mar 20, 2009 |
farotika: If i'm not wrong, Abraham had more than 1 wife or concubine, so did moses, isaac, solomon, david and the rest of them in the old testament. It wasnt a sin at the time. . . u can argue that the new testament says something else but it doesnt condemn marrying more than 1 wife, it only condemns adultery and fornication |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by JJYOU: 12:25pm On Mar 20, 2009 |
sparta:i am sorry to burst your peace of mind this morning. most nigerian women are as bad as the nigerian men. i know you all dont go about admitting to sleeping around but truth be told the whole society is at it and it is obscene. if you think majority of the emergency contractors in nigeria are getting contracts because they speak good english or come from a well connected husband or family think again. the sad fact is the maried women are worse than single women not even religion imune most from their insatiable quest for money and the "good" things of life. |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by sparta(f): 12:29pm On Mar 20, 2009 |
No buddy, me still thinks you find more nigerian men at it. |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by sweetpain: 12:32pm On Mar 20, 2009 |
Our opening poster sounds idealistic. Its obvious she is not married. When she grows up she will understand these issues better. In the meantime try and concentrate on issues of love and loving and leave the heavier stuff alone. |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by JJYOU: 12:38pm On Mar 20, 2009 |
sparta:i wont put it past them. as you know i am not any advocate for the stupidity most have made their middle name but you need to shine your eyes. our women are no more what we used to be. they are competing to see who is more daring. |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by sparta(f): 1:08pm On Mar 20, 2009 |
You have a point, there are women who are even more daring ( i guess they believe what is good for the Cock is good for the Hen) but i stilll insist that there are more men at it than women, it is oh so glaring. |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by aameyah(f): 2:38pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
@ sweetpain Our opening poster sounds idealistic. Its obvious she is not married. When she grows up she will understand these issues better. In the meantime try and concentrate on issues of love and loving and leave the heavier stuff alone. The 'heavier stuff' as you call this issue is what I might face when I get married. It wont hurt to explore the topic, dear. Yes, I might idealistic and I'm definitely not married. But dare you say that I dont make sense in what I have said? For how long should we accept wrong things as the norm? Is it wrong to demand for what's right from a spouse? I dont have to be married to know what infidelity can do to a union. It nearly tore my aunt's own apart. My aunt is an extremely beautiful woman. Am sayin that from an objective point of view, not just cos she's my aunt. You need to see her, to know what am talking about. She's beautiful, She cooks(hmmmn), she cleans, she's Godfearing and I know she and my uncle had a healthy sex life cos as a child, they used to do the whole 'disappearing behind closed doors stuff' that people in love do. She is just too much. But they had nothin. all they had was themselves. But when money came, my uncle became Mr Cassanova. He came into millions and those small girls squeezed him for it. The source went dry when he lost his job and guess who had to suffer, my aunt and her kids. Those girls vanished like ghosts. When it comes to relationships, I try to do what's right. I treat you with respect, stay faithful and put in my all (except sex till am married). And I dont think its bad 4 my man to treat me the same way. most nigerian women are as bad as the nigerian men. i know you all dont go about admitting to sleeping around but truth be told the whole society is at it and it is obscene @ JJYOU That is why I wasnt one sided in my arguement. The talk was to both sexes. And to the 'Dr Phil' who said the topic was brought because am sad and frustrated, Dont be a smarta** pal. If the smoke's too much 4 u, get out of the kitchen. The discussion is for matured people, who are interested in real life issues, not those stupid threads you delight in. ![]() |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by DeReloaded: 2:40pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
Dont know about the people you know but such doesnt work in my family. a man that wants to cheat shouldnt get married, simple and if women still intend on marrying such men, na their own wahala be that |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by DeReloaded: 2:44pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
He said that married Nigerian men, of his generation, cheat because their wives dont play very well and their feeling is that the women should come with this knowledge. I asked why not teach them and his response was that you cant teach a woman how to play very well she has to know this. Rofl, Ironically these are ALWAYS the men looking for underaged virgin wives. So how exactly is a virgin wife "supposed to know how to play well" Imbeciles. |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by sistawoman: 2:47pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
DeReloaded: By talking to thier friends about sex. By hearing other people talk about sex. By reading books about sex. By having conversations with thier moms about sex. By watching porn films. If she wants to know how to play well then she should do her research. |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by DeReloaded: 2:51pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
. u can argue that the new testament says something else but it doesnt condemn marrying more than 1 wife, it only condemns adultery and fornication I suggest you buy a new Bible. |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by whitelexi(m): 2:58pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
Everyone is saying naija men are evil, have u not seen girls that hang around sports clubs, hotels, and areas that these big men are likely to go to with their friends to unwind? I remember when i was in naija, how i used to go out in the evenings with my elder uncles and u just see these girls throwing themselves at their feet and seeking attention in many many ways even when they could see the ring he was wearing. He always advised me never to allow such people ruin my marriage in future. I think u cannot overly blame men, some have strong will, others dont. . . But it is the women who knowingly lead these men to the slaughter house and destroy homes just for their selfish reasons. DeReloaded: I suggest u buy a bible and a qur'an as well, read both from cover to cover and then return and argue your point |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by DeReloaded: 3:01pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
sistawoman: Give me a break. First off, I bet YOU didnt have a convo with your own mother about sex, talkless of Naija women doing such so dont even start that. You have a long way to go in understanding Naija mentality, sistawoman. Marrying a Naija man doesnt mean you know anything about the mindset. Even on the so called "liberal NL", most of the Naija women that talk about such things freely are looked down upon by the dudes. They pretend to be ok with it, cool with it but they say crap behind your back, sometimes straight to face if there's ever an arguement in the future. You really think when you start your raunchy threads, people arent talking shit about you? I assure you, they are and while they pat you on the back with "I love how sista just says it like it blah blah", the same people will use that VERY reason to never marry a black american. Better dont let these snakes fool you. Many times you see them mention how Jamo girls and such are great in bed blah blah while Naija women are like fish, how many Nigerians do you know that are actually MARRIED to these women? They play the field with these girls then go to bush to find a naive naija chick. Just recently jenni was talking about how an acquaintance of hers couldnt bring up bedroom tricks to her husband cos she did it once and the husband went into a rage demanding to know where she learnt it from, why does she know such things, blah blah blah and she begged him and since then it's been quiet missionary. These same dude will look for some hooker from the universities, complaining that the wife is "frigid" You have a lot to learn. |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by sistawoman: 3:01pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
whitelexi: These other women are not to blame. They did not make the commitment in front of God, family and friends to honor your wife and lay with only her. The husband took this oath. It is the husbands responsibilty to tell these women "GET BEHIND ME SATAN" and keep it moving. |
Re: A Married Man-can't Help But Cheat On His Wife? by DeReloaded: 3:02pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
whitelexi: I have no business with the Qu'ran. Point remains there are many passages In The New Testament about one man, one wife. If you wanna be in denial, that's your business. Just stop lying. |
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