christinie:
we are all cheats then.

You better repent

tete7000:

Thank you.
Now dating is a period of mutual knowing. It is just a period when two people seek to walk together to see whether the two can stay in marriage together. It is an open ended relationship during which one or the two can choose to part and walk away anytime they deem fit. There is no such commitment that binds them together till death do them part and as such one cannot really claim to be cheating the other. Infidelity only applies to married couple. So if you find a person supposedly 'cheating' in on you in a premarital relationship, simply take a walk and look for one who can be faithful in marriage. Everyone still has that freedom during dating and courtship but once marriage is consumated the freedom is lost. Don't accuse your sleeping partner of cheating rather see people for who they are - a lying w_hore, and in any case if you sleep with a person before marriage what moral obligation stops the person from sleeping with another?

remember bro, we are not here to discuss whether cheating is right or wrong, we are here to discuss WHEN/HOW one should believe that his/her partner is cheating.

now, dating is as important as marriage because it is the FOUNDATION that you require to have a strong and healthy marriage. this is what you will use in order to decide/evaluate if you want to marry someone or not, so it is just as important as marriage. dating is like a test drive before marriage, and the wedding is just you agreeing to buy the car. people in r/ship dont have the freedom to do what they desire because there are rules and regulations to follow in r/ships, just like marriage (even if many disregard them). the moral obligations that dating people have is exactly the same as the obligations that married people have. a cheating wife is a lying wh0re who dont give a damn about moral obligations (just like a gf)

pls get your facts right: faithfulness in marriage has absolutely nothing to do with premarital sex. a virgin wife could cheat after marriage just as much as a non virgin.

Yes it is beyond sex, any relationship that has emotional attachment, other than one's legal spouse is cheating.

MRBrownJ:


remember bro, we are not here to discuss whether cheating is right or wrong, we are here to discuss WHEN/HOW one should believe that his/her partner is cheating.

now, dating is as important as marriage because it is the FOUNDATION that you require to have a strong and healthy marriage. this is what you will use in order to decide/evaluate if you want to marry someone or not, so it is just as important as marriage. dating is like a test drive before marriage, and the wedding is just you agreeing to buy the car. people in r/ship dont have the freedom to do what they desire because there are rules and regulations to follow in r/ships, just like marriage (even if many disregard them). the moral obligations that dating people have is exactly the same as the obligations that married people have. a cheating wife is a lying wh0re who dont give a damn about moral obligations (just like a gf)

pls get your facts right: faithfulness in marriage has absolutely nothing to do with premarital sex. a virgin wife could cheat just as much as a non virgin.

We definitely can't agree on certain things but that is allowed. It is part and parcel of living. Two people dating can use it as platform for testing the faithfulness or otherwise of their intending partner but abstinence is an essential ingredient in checking faithfulness or unfaithfulness of an intending spouse. A woman or man who claims he can't do without sex before marriage will not be faithful even in marriage. How does he or she cope if work takes his/her spouse out of town for long or if his/her spouse becomes indisposed to sex for a long period in marriage? A person who has remain a virgin into marriage, yes might not necessarily end up being a faithful spouse but however stands a far better chance of being a faithful spouse than one who has slept around with many. What you have endured before, you can always endure again. What you have lived without is easy to live without again if need arises. I am however not saying virginity is a must for marriage, abstinence is and virginity is a virtue that must be praised and encouraged. That is my own thought.

MRBrownJ:
IMHO kissing/lusting for someone or having any intimate physical contact whatsoever (holding hands etc) is also cheating

I disagree , lusting isn't cheating.... if we must classify lust, then, everyone is a cheat

tete7000:

We definitely can't agree on certain things but that is allowed. It is part and parcel of living.

you are absolutely right, but you are continuing to stray away from the subject at hand.

Two people dating can use it as platform for testing the faithfulness or otherwise of their intending partner but abstinence is an essential ingredient in checking faithfulness or unfaithfulness of an intending spouse.

1) abstinence got nothing to do with faithfulness, and all to do with each and everyones PRIORITIES in life.
2) abstinence cannot/shouldnt be used as a medium to know if your spouse will be faithful (or not) in the future.
3) abstinence is NOT essential in dating, what IS essential is a compatible state of mind between the two intended partners.

A woman or man who claims he can't do without sex before marriage will not be faithful even in marriage. How does he or she cope if work takes his/her spouse out of town for long or if his/her spouse becomes indisposed to sex for a long period in marriage?

most people in r/ship mutually decide to have sex because this is something that they BOTH desire/require in their r/ship. you are making it sound like someone is forced against their will to have sex here, lol. people have the right to decide what is important to THEM in r/ship (or not). sex is good in maintaining a certain bond/affection/closeness between lovers, and is therefore good for the union. so sex is not done as a vital necessity that should be done with any Tom, Dikc and Harry out there, but more as a mutual attraction between lovers. when they are together, they desire one another sexually like that, and when they are away from each other, the sexual desire for each other is lessen. dont try to paint men like sexual beasts that can NEVER be faithful, nor have control over themselves.

A person who has remain a virgin into marriage, yes might not necessarily end up being a faithful spouse but however stands a far better chance of being a faithful spouse than one who has slept around with many.

that is NOT true simply because cheating has absolutely nothing to do with your virgin status on the day of marriage. most people who cheat do so because they are weak, and as much as you will be quick to say that people who have sex before marriage are weak, it certainly aint true. many have been pressured/brainwashed into a certain way of life, and when they realise that all was a dream, they then end up doing extraordinary things in marriage... ask any woman in loveless/emotionally or physically abusive/disrespectful/dishonest/childless marriage.

What you have endured before, you can always endure again. What you have lived without is easy to live without again if need arises.

again, do NOT take sex as a burden in dating but rather a mutual choice by two lovers. a newly married woman who has high sexual expectations (and ends up with a lacking 2mins man) would seek for what she was made to believe she will get after marriage... aka affectionate love making from a caring and dedicated experienced partner, mind blowing 0rgasms that has her lose her damn mind, sexual satisfaction, sexual freedom, or simply dirty nasty long lasting sweaty sex (to each their own)... and she will seek for just that (at home) until she may be weaken to the point of cheating.

btw, a virgin who has sucked all the neighborhood cokc for money, will you view her as a potential great faithful wife?

I am however not saying virginity is a must for marriage, abstinence is and virginity is a virtue that must be praised and encouraged. That is my own thought.

again, there is nothing wrong with abstinence IF/WHEN this is what a person desires in life, JUST LIKE there is nothing wrong with premarital sex (to each their own). morality is based on each and everyone's own view of life, and you are entitled to yours, BUT this is not a religious debate, right? we are simply discussing about when/how cheating is viewed as cheating, and therefore lets stick to the subject at hand and remember that abstinence got nothing to do with cheating in marriage

dblaisepascal:
I disagree , lusting isn't cheating.... if we must classify lust, then, everyone is a cheat

again to each their own, but if my woman is lusting after another man then she is indirectly cheating... and the only problem is that the OPPORTUNITY to be with that other person has not come about "yet". beware, there is nothing wrong with complimenting a person about their possible attributes, but when you start daydreaming/being turned on about having intimate relations with that person, thats what i would view as lusting.

I hate seeing my woman flirting with a guy or associating with her exes . That's a cheat

ammyluv2002:
You better repent

I will try

Guys cheat and it most times ends there. Gals cheat and they even ruin themselves.

ammyluv2002:
Yes! There are other ways one can be unfaithful to the partner especially the married couples;

1. Not being honest with your partner
2. Flirting
3. Chatting on the Internet with someone of the opposite sex (Sex chat)
4. Spending time alone with someone else
5. Confiding in someone else
6. Downloading pictures of hot babes
7. Placing your family or kids before your partner
8. Buying a house, land without telling your partner
9. Hiding your pay slip from your partner
10. Hiding your partner from your friends

Some of US that places premium on Freedom may see this version of relationship as prison yard.

ammyluv2002:
Yes! There are other ways one can be unfaithful to the partner especially the married couples;

1. Not being honest with your partner
2. Flirting
3. Chatting on the Internet with someone of the opposite sex (Sex chat)
4. Spending time alone with someone else
5. Confiding in someone else
6. Downloading pictures of hot babes
7. Placing your family or kids before your partner
8. Buying a house, land without telling your partner
9. Hiding your pay slip from your partner
10. Hiding your partner from your friends

wpt if u want to surprise ur partner n didnt tell abt a landed property? Wot if d hot babe is ur cousin, nice or coursemate or wot if it wz sent as a whatsapp image nko? Wot abt catholic dt confide in rev father thru confession? Wot if it wz a busines meetin or official assignment?

ammyluv2002:
Yes! There are other ways one can be unfaithful to the partner especially the married couples;

1. Not being honest with your partner
2. Flirting
3. Chatting on the Internet with someone of the opposite sex (Sex chat)
4. Spending time alone with someone else
5. Confiding in someone else
6. Downloading pictures of hot babes
7. Placing your family or kids before your partner
8. Buying a house, land without telling your partner
9. Hiding your pay slip from your partner
10. Hiding your partner from your friends

Kaikaikaikai! Ur own too much oo. Which guy wl pitch his tent anywhere near yours.... He should be someone from Jupiter! Someone soo cold, a dundee!

No 7. ... He/she is your priority in life. Most women are guilty of this, once the kids start coming that's the end of the road for the husband[quote author=ammyluv2002 post=36663739]
I pray that one day, God will place men in women's shoes. Where they have to bear the burden of taking care of babies and other kids they have together with doing the kids' homework, cooking, school runs, taking care of a sick child etc. No woman abandons her husband instead, most times, once a woman is pregnant her husband begins to scout for other woman who can give them dft sex styles that their heavily pregnant wives cannot give them. Once she delivers "their" baby, her breast is filled with milk which most men look at as a turn off for them and then again, they continue with their sleeping with other women until further notice. Now the poor woman consoles herself with her kids and puts in her all into taking good care of "their" child(ren). It is well even in the well. Shalom!

mekybabe1:

No 7. ... He/she is your priority in life. Most women are guilty of this, once the kids start coming that's the end of the road for the husband

You're not being honest here. Seriously, not all men cheat once their wife is Pregnant. I'm a lady and have stayed with women with kids, they unknowingly channel everything to the new baby. They don't even care to ask how the Man's day went, they don't care to cook his favorite food, whether he's passing through some stuff. I know, the baby requires care but your hubby does too.

Flirting is a form of cheating ,having any intimate or sexual conversation with another person while in a relationship is wrong, where's the respect for the one you love, some may think its no big deal, but think of how your boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance or spouse will feel if they got to know of this, it hurts to see messages like that or hear about it, been hurt like that before, it sucks!

ammyluv2002:
Yes! There are other ways one can be unfaithful to the partner especially the married couples;

1. Not being honest with your partner
2. Flirting
3. Chatting on the Internet with someone of the opposite sex (Sex chat)
4. Spending time alone with someone else
5. Confiding in someone else
6. Downloading pictures of hot babes
7. Placing your family or kids before your partner
8. Buying a house, land without telling your partner
9. Hiding your pay slip from your partner
10. Hiding your partner from your friends

Really?

MRBrownJ:


i dont know about you but i am the only person my woman should hold hands with... because it means much to her and I, it shows the bond/care/affection/trust/respect we have for one another; it also shows that we are there for one another and are not afraid to show the world. now, if my woman feels this way with another dude then something is very wrong in our r/ship



so what you are saying is that if you date a lady, she can do whatever she wants and sleep with whomever she desires until the day of marriage?! with no worries from your part?!



1) her ex will always be part of her past, and may be the reason she is the great woman she is today, you can never change/erase that. so why should reminiscing about her past (whether good or bad) be viewed as cheating? lets say he helped her achieve academically or protected her from ritualist. just because they aint together any longer does not mean they cant be friends.

2) whats wrong with that? especially if she has already told you about these issues but you havent changed... the lady is telling you about what she feels about a particular issue, and you should act accordingly to solve it. if you dont then she will carry a worry and may open up to friends and family about such issue. the fact that you only care that it is a male friend shows us all that its your ego which is getting in the way here.

3) she needs to give you all her attention when you are around so therefore she SHOULD log off... especially if you are the jealous/insecure/low self esteem type of guy.

4) it all comes down to the r/ship you guys have. lets say you dont want her to speak to her family who hates you, but she talks to them in secret because one of them is very sick and she is worried (it aint right but would be understandable), would you call that cheating?

5) there are many things she may want to hide from her husband within her phone, and there would be nothing wrong with that... things that may have nothing to do with other men/sex/cheating etc
example: she may have lost her job and dont want you to know; she may have spent money that she doesnt want you to know;she may have a surprise for you and dont want you to find out etc,

ps dont confuse LYING/HIDING THE TRUTH with CHEATING, these are two different things!



the priority to solve any emergency issue should be to talk to the professional, above all... he is the only one whose views matter on certain subjects, and wifey would certainly understand that he (lawyer/banker etc) was contacted 1st. if there are fraudulent withdrawal from my account, then the bank manager is who i will call 1st and foremost, then my partner thereafter. if my daughter faint in the middle of the kitchen then i will call the doctor immediately, and thereafter mama will be contacted; if my son calls me to tell me that he has been arrested, then my lawyer is who i will call 1st to get this kid out of there and/or the proper guidance, and then mama will be called thereafter.
its called PRIORITIES in life!



so what you are saying is that... if my woman loves to sing and want to be a singer, but she is shy to sing in front of me since i always belittles her singing; but she isnt afraid to sing in front of others, and does so behind my back, that means she is cheating?

. 1). So you are saying when a married woman begin to converse with her ex lover n says all kind of rubbish is good? Let me ask you this, if the ex lover was good to her why didn't she marry him? (2).why should a married woman log off her phone, when ever her hubby comes around? If there is no hiden agenda. (3).so the person you ve made up ur mind to spend the rest of ur life with, should not tell u who she was speaking with? So bros dat is low esteem? 4). So a responsible woman should hide things from her hubby? What about if it eventually leaks from outsider, is that a good wife?

TOWNCRIER2015:
. 1). So you are saying when a married woman begin to converse with her ex lover n says all kind of rubbish is good? Let me ask you this, if the ex lover was good to her why didn't she marry him?

no... i am saying that my partner has all the rights to talk with her ex, so long as it is done in a respectful way towards me and our r/ship. there are many reasons why people break up, and whether he was good to her (or not) is down to her... and if she wants to keep that person as a friend, so be it.

(2).why should a married woman log off her phone, when ever her hubby comes around? If there is no hiden agenda.

yes, there is definitely a hidden agenda but that is not automatically cheating... the hidden agenda could be other issues that i mentionned earlier.

(3).so the person you ve made up ur mind to spend the rest of ur life with, should not tell u who she was speaking with? So bros dat is low esteem?

again, you are now shifting this discussion to some other issues. the reason why she LIES to you (or not) is irrelevant, because LYING is not the same thing as CHEATING, dont confuse the two... a wife could be lying to you for many other reasons than cheating. and this is my point: just because your wife lies doesnt automatically means she is cheating on you!

4). So a responsible woman should hide things from her hubby? What about if it eventually leaks from outsider, is that a good wife?

again, we are not here to derail this thread and discuss about why a woman would hide stuff from her man or/and what are the definition of a responsible wife... the subject here is about what would constitute cheating in r/ship-marriage, and hiding stuff from your man does NOT automatically means she is cheating. but hey, if you want us to talk about what makes a responsible wife then open a new thread on the issues and i will be glad to join in the discussion.

mekybabe1:
I pray that one day, God will place men in women's shoes. Where they have to bear the burden of taking care of babies and other kids they have together with doing the kids' homework, cooking, school runs, taking care of a sick child etc. No woman abandons her husband instead, most times, once a woman is pregnant her husband begins to scout for other woman who can give them dft sex styles that their heavily pregnant wives cannot give them. Once she delivers "their" baby, her breast is filled with milk which most men look at as a turn off for them and then again, they continue with their sleeping with other women until further notice. Now the poor woman consoles herself with her kids and puts in her all into taking good care of "their" child(ren). It is well even in the well. Shalom!

i suggest you get the necessary help/guidance that you require because, thinking this negative way, will only/always have you fail in life.

No matter how u look at it, even if she tries all she can to pay attention to the man, it'll never be the same as it were before the baby came and it was just the two of them alone in the house.

ammyluv2002:
You're not being honest here. Seriously, not all men cheat once their wife is Pregnant. I'm a lady and have stayed with women with kids, they unknowingly channel everything to the new baby. They don't even care to ask how the Man's day went, they don't care to cook his favorite food, whether he's passing through some stuff. I know, the baby requires care but your hubby does too.

You are entitled to ur own opinion just as I am to mine. Unfortunately for you, I am a success. You are just being unrealistic. Though we have a few good men. ote author=MRBrownJ post=36706637]

i suggest you get the necessary help/guidance that you require because, thinking this negative way, will only/always have you fail in life.[/quote]

ammyluv2002:
Yes! There are other ways one can be unfaithful to the partner especially the married couples;

1. Not being honest with your partner
2. Flirting
3. Chatting on the Internet with someone of the opposite sex (Sex chat)
4. Spending time alone with someone else
5. Confiding in someone else
6. Downloading pictures of hot babes
7. Placing your family or kids before your partner
8. Buying a house, land without telling your partner
9. Hiding your pay slip from your partner
10. Hiding your partner from your friends

The credibility of this list has been compromised with the addition of frivolities

Items 2-5 are the only ones that qualify as acts of infidelity.

10 is not necessarily as a result of infidelity but it's very likely (9 out of 10 times) linked to infidelity

mekybabe1:
You are entitled to ur own opinion just as I am to mine. Unfortunately for you, I am a success. You are just being unrealistic. Though we have a few good men.

come on sista, you are the one who is being unrealistic here:
A) stop deraiing the thread and instead focus on the subject of the thread, which is WHAT DO WE REGARD AS CHEATING, so stick to the issue at hand.

B) here is your EDUCATION for the day: you give us all these "flimsy" excuses as to why men cheat bla bla bla, but the IMPORTANT fact here is that these men dont cheat with donkeys, they cheat with WOMEN. so as much as you should blame men for their "indiscretions", equally put the blame on your fellow desperate women who see no problem in dating a men who is already in a r/ship or married !

If only you knew how desperate some men can be to get in between the legs of a woman.

MRBrownJ:


come on sista, you are the one who is being unrealistic here:
A) stop deraiing the thread and instead focus on the subject of the thread, which is WHAT DO WE REGARD AS CHEATING, so stick to the issue at hand.

B) here is your EDUCATION for the day: you give us all these "flimsy" excuses as to why men cheat bla bla bla, but the IMPORTANT fact here is that these men dont cheat with donkeys, they cheat with WOMEN. so as much as you should blame men for their "indiscretions", equally put the blame on your fellow desperate women who see no problem in dating a men who is already in a r/ship or married !

2people:
I'v read somany article about cheating in a relationship.Its usualy directed to sex.
So i want to ask is there other way one can cheat in a relationship other than sex and why don't you people talk about it also?

Anything that could hurt your partner when he/she find out and you concealed from him/her just to maintain the relationship is tantamount to cheating !!!

mekybabe1:
If only you knew how desperate some men can be to get in between the legs of a woman.

if you only knew how some unscrupulous desperate WOMEN are willing to open their legs for these men, without a care in the world whether they are married or not... so long as these men drop some little cash, Brazilian hair or simply recharge card.

My dear, you have hit the nail on the head. Yes, some women are that desperate. Inshort, the married ones are even more attractive to them.

MRBrownJ:


if you only knew how some unscrupulous desperate WOMEN are willing to open their legs for these men, without a care in the world whether they are married or not... so long as these men drop some little cash, Brazilian hair or simply recharge card.

No be lie o my brother. Some of the stuffs they do sef, makes one so ashamed to be a woman.

MRBrownJ:


if you only knew how some unscrupulous desperate WOMEN are willing to open their legs for these men, without a care in the world whether they are married or not... so long as these men drop some little cash, Brazilian hair or simply recharge card.