No sane, healthy person immediately bounces back.
Feel bad for yourself for a short while. It's healthy to
allow yourself to feel annoyed and disappointed at
first. Wallow a little bit, treat yourself to your
favourite food/hobby, or do whatever else you need to
do when low. But then pick yourself up and dust
yourself off. Realise that everyone makes mistakes
and messes up. The ones that succeed are the ones
that can persevere and have another go.
Experiencing failure should make you more
confident next time, not less. You failed. What
happened? You didn't die. You weren't in agony. You
felt bad and then you got to carry on. The world
didn't end. It's not so bad. Have another shot. You'll
fail again some time in the future. It wasn't the end of
the world now, and it won't be then. Don't let your
fear of failing prevent you from succeeding.


1) Pick over the ashes
Once you are back on your feet, revisit the failure to
find nuggets of information and areas of personal
growth. What did you learn from this failure to help
you become a stronger and better person in the
future? What would you do differently? How do you
need to make amends, right a wrong, or correct a
mistake?


2) Put it in context
A big failure does not define your entire life. It may
feel that way at first, but try to perceive it within the
context of everything else in your life. You’ve had
plenty of successes. You’ve accomplished many
things and done well in many areas of your life.
The pain of failure taints your perceptions and paints
your life with the broad brushstroke of negativity. But
consciously regain control of your perceptions, and
remind yourself of these positive things. Remind
yourself that failure doesn’t define your essential
character, your intelligence, or your future.


3) Build your skills
One of the best cures for low confidence is gaining
mastery or proficiency in areas where you failed. If
your failure was caused by lack of preparation, lack
of knowledge, or lack of skill — then figure out what
you need to do to gain the preparation, knowledge or
skill — and go do it.


4) Face your fears
Once your self-confidence has a small foothold,
begin taking small and manageable steps to stretch
yourself, to try again. Act in spite of your fear of
failure, which will not truly dissipate until you
challenge it.
Use what you learned from your failure to help you
recalibrate.
Lean into your fear and accept it as a natural
response to the aftermath of failure. But don’t allow it
to control you.

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but
in rising up every time we fail.” ~Ralph
Waldo Emerson