Methinks:
1. You and your husband had no time for your child when he was younger than 11. Probably, working form morning till night without giving attention to the little boy.
2. or You saw but overlooked the signs and similar behaviours from him while younger.
3. or You are probably part of the group that believes in not beating or being hard on a child and thus could not use the right corrective measures.
4. or maybe You gave him toys when what he needed was attention.
5. or You over pampered him even at corrections. Spare the rod and ...
6. or You were over-protective - you didn't want them(neighbourhood) to think your son was worse than theirs - and finally they have seen that he is; even Nairaland Nigeria now knows.
7. When you saw it was getting out of hand, you rushed and dumped in him in the boarding school thinking the school will change him for you. You forgot the teachers have no time for such not even with their unmotivating salaries, they have their personal troubles not your son.
8. It may not even be your fault.

My Advice...

1. Decide and agree with your husband rescue him; If either of you is over-pampering/ overprotective, it can't work. You both should not condone stealing nor lies, no matter how small(stealing & lies go together), monitor where he goes.
2. Buy canes (use African method, act "buhari" ).
3. Get him out of boarding school.
4. Give him maximum attention; if your job does not allow you, quit it for a convenient job just to save your own blood.
5. Be strict with the rules.
6. If you and your husband are very materialistic, now is time to control it.
7. Read plenty books on Child Training - preferably African books/authors.
8. As others have mentioned, pray for him and keep talking to him.

Try do everything you can to stop it before he gets to 16.

Rockyfancino:
Aminat508, Why boarding sch? children should be under the watch of parents. Obviously, from what u typed so far, I would want to believe that the parents of the boy is rich and may not be living Nigeria or as a matter of fact, might be in the rich streets in this country.


1st, As a parent you should know the kind of friends your child moves with.
2nd, The type of games and movies he's interested in.
3rd, Since the parents don't believe in beating, I would advice that if they are in a country like OURS, They should try beating the boy. Some children will never listen to correction until you beat them.
4th, From spiritual view, the boy might be possessed with stealing. And no matter how he tries, he always gets tempted. It might be a girl or a boy, his buddies who possessed him with stealing, since he's a boarding student.
It can also be from anywhere.


SOLUTIONS: I would recommend talking to the boy to know why he steals even the most irrelevant object. From the conversation, his parents should know if he normaly gets tempted and even if he tries not to steal, he ends up finding himself stealing the object. Or they could just ask him straight after a few minutes in the middle of the conversation. They should let him know the owner of whatever he steals would feel hurt.

If the above works, he would minimize his stealing rate. And if it does minimises it, and he all of a sudden started going back at it, make him return whatever he steals, same goes for if he doesn't minimises it. They should always search his room for stolen things, and also ban him from movies and video games, also ban him from spending too much time at friends house. It'll bring about more seriousness in his life.

They should get closer to be boy, be friendly, take him out, take him to friends place, hair dressing saloon etc.

And its time to change his school, his friends, and be closer to God, make him have responsibilities in his church. This is for if his parents are the christian type, and if they're not - I'll advice them to, and if they do not - that's their problem.

And if they like, they might trying seeing a pastor for a deliverance session.

I wish my parents where rich. well, I'm gonna make them. Yeah, before I forget - Tell his parents to revert back to the normal locks, the only thing is they should keep valuable things off sight.

WhaO! my battery is down. Well, I think you should probably pay me for this valuable information, because I don't usually respond to threads on nairaland, let alone typing this long info with my hands. I would love Infinix Hot Note or the new Infinix Hot 2.

Oh! sorry, I forgot you're his mother

How do you react when you have a young child
that steals? You've talked to him/her several
times, told him/her everything that has to be
said about the consequences of pilfering. You do
ALL you can to provide his needs and wants. But
he keeps 'doing it'. How do you help or stop such
a child? A reader sent this in yesterday :
Hello,
My son steals from me, my husband, my
mother, his grandparents, his friends,
everybody!! Please, let's discuss this here
because I'm sure I'm not the only mother
having this problem. If it's not money, it's
things as small as tiny toys and games from
neighbors. Sincerely, it's gotten so bad I don't
know what to do with him anymore. My
husband and I now have locks on our bedroom
door to keep him out.
Problem started when he was 11 and got into
boarding school. He is 13 now. I've threatened
him that next time he steals, I would have the
police involved. Of course I don't want to or
plan to do that but I don't know what else to
do.

In the multitude of counsel there is safety. My counsel is CHANGE HIS NAME. I'll tell you why with examples. Example 1: Jacob means trickster, 419, sub-planter. He tricked his brother twice, sub-planted his father in-law Laban and God was with him. But the life of 419 and trickster left him the day an angel changed his name from Jacob to Israel.
Example 2: Saul was an enemy of the church but the day his name change to Paul he became an advocate of christ.
Example 3: Nabal means foolish his wife Abigail even testify to David that Nabal is foolish that as his name is so is he.
Example 4 : Jesus means saviour so he died to save the world. No amount of pray, fasting or deliverance would have stop him from giving up his life for the world.

So you can see names affect our lives for the better or worse even our date of birth.

But I must warn you it was an angel that changed Jacob's name. So don't change it by yourself look for someone that has the gift, there are few persons that has the gift. If you don't know any I can direct you to one. He will advise and guard you on the best possible name for your child.

I say this because there are people bearing miracle and no miracle in their life, many ladies called blessing but found in hotels no blessing.

You can take this counsel or throw it away the choice is yours.


07037153620
augusttusrobbenakhimeona@gmail.com
Goodluck.

Aminat508:
How do you react when you have a young child that steals? You've talked to him/her several times, told him/her everything that has to be said about the consequences of pilfering. You do ALL you can to provide his needs and wants. But he keeps 'doing it'. How do you help or stop such a child? A reader sent this in yesterday:

Hello,

My son steals from me, my husband, my mother, his grandparents, his friends, everybody!! Please, let's discuss this here because I'm sure I'm not the only mother having this problem. If it's not money, it's things as small as tiny toys and games from neighbors. Sincerely, it's gotten so bad I don't know what to do with him anymore. My husband and I now have locks on our bedroom door to keep him out.

Problem started when he was 11 and got into boarding school. He is 13 now. I've threatened him that next time he steals, I would have the police involved. Of course I don't want to or plan to do that but I don't know what else to do.


Source :http://www..com/talk/topic,250835.0.html

In the multitude of counsel there is safety. My counsel is CHANGE HIS NAME. I'll tell you why with examples. Example 1: Jacob means trickster, 419, sub-planter. He tricked his brother twice, sub-planted his father in-law Laban and God was with him. But the life of 419 and trickster left him the day an angel changed his name from Jacob to Israel.
Example 2: Saul was an enemy of the church but the day his name change to Paul he became an advocate of christ.
Example 3: Nabal means foolish his wife Abigail even testify to David that Nabal is foolish that as his name is so is he.
Example 4 : Jesus means saviour so he died to save the world. No amount of pray, fasting or deliverance would have stop him from giving up his life for the world.

So you can see names affect our lives for the better or worse even our date of birth.

But I must warn you it was an angel that changed Jacob's name. So don't change it by yourself look for someone that has the gift, there are few persons that has the gift. If you don't know any I can direct you to one. He will advise and guard you on the best possible name for your child.

I say this because there are people bearing miracle and no miracle in their life, many ladies called blessing but found in hotels no blessing.

You can take this counsel or throw it away the choice is yours.


07037153620
augusttusrobbenakhimeona@gmail.com
Goodluck.

You need to beat him/her & say next time dont try it again. I think dats cool?? You need to beat him/her & say next time dont try it again. I think dats cool??

vivypretty:

if ur child knows where he/she is coming from then u v nothing to be afraid of and also make enquires to any school u want to send ur child before u do so

lol.....i dnt tink u dont no d power of influence and peer pressure

He will stop with time. Dont despise him, bring him closer to you and form a team in order to free him up. Explain to him that he has a problem and let him understand it is a challenge he has to face with all his mind in order not to let you down. monitor his progress, and talk on the issue from time to time. Let him know he is your best and most trusted friend. note , you have to gain his trust. All the best

Madam, its only God that can really really help your family. I have a first hand experience of someone who steals while we were much younger. I tell u, Its really a big disgrace to d family then. It wasn't an easy battle, this boy steals from virtually everyone just like your boy, and this boy am talking about, d father happens to b a military man as at that time, so u can imagine d kind of discipline and punishment he must have refused from the father. The parents took him to the barracks just for him to experienced some of the severe punishment he might undergo if he steals again but trust the devil, that did not deter him from stealing again. In all, the parents resorted to God and prayers, and they allowed him to face d consequence of any of his stealing outside d home. While at home, the parents ensures they put every vitals things under lock and key including the siblings. Most times, at home, d siblings oftenly insults him by calling him a thief, which usually infuriates him. Today, to cut the long story short, that boy am talking abt is now a man of abt 35 years old, doesn't steal again but still sturborn and gets angry easily but with a caring heart.
Madam, my advice to you is to wake him up at the dead of d night while others are fast asleep, talked some senses into him, if possible as d mother, attempt to knee before him after admonishing him and beg him to stop his act of stealing. Ask him what usually prompt him to steal and lastly, in that dead of the night hold his hand and pray together with him. Advice him to feel free to ask u whenever he needs something and allow God to do the rest with your continuous prayers and supplication to him unbehalf of your child. May God almighty Change him in Jesus name Amen. Shalom!

@Aminat508 just drill the child and reinforce him. You must drill him. U must be harden for ur child to soft. If he grows higher, then u shld grow above higher. That's wht calms children. Don't look at dem with a smiling face until he tries to please u with his behaviours. Punish him when he's wrong and make d punishment a severe one. This things will frighten him. And make ur presence or that of ur husband to frighten him. That won't stop u to take care of the child as a mother. And if he passes his exams with good grades, ensure that u get him gifts. As that will move his interest to study and therefore shun stealing.

It worries me a lot when parents cry out that their child is stealing. Without mencing words, you are the problem and whether you like it or not,he will start and end up with you.I remembered a story of a thief, who has been stealing from child hood, but his mother never bothered to caution him or beat him to stop. He continued stealing until he turned to armed robber and one day, he was caught and was to be executed via firing squard, he invited the mother to come and see him before death. When the mother came, she was asked to go and see him for the final word before rainingbullets on him. When she got to where his son was tied to empty drum, his son told him to come closer and bring his ear, that he wants to tell her some thing important. It was on that process that he bits off her mother`s ear and told her that she is the cause.According to him, he said the mother would have cut off his hand when he started stealing in his childhood. The boy would have preffered going with one hand than with two hands and highest embrassement to the family. This is food for thought, at 13years, you can handle him.

This happens when you spare the rod and spoil the child by not being involved in his upbringing.

Many parents today ordinarily have no business being parents. Even if they are around like some House wife Moms, its to on gen, switch on Telemundo and lock up living the kids to do as they please. Others when fuel finish will carry church on head and start forming prayer crier or phone amebo.

flokii:


@OP stealing runs in your bloodline... either you or d father.. go figure

I think u r right there. Sometimes, it is in the family, either that of d father or the mother, speaking from experience.

Classic case of kleptomancy

have come to realize that sometimes hitting a child is not the best solution and should not be a solution but talking to a child and making the child free with you and understand you is the solution..you just have to find a way of communicating with the child...try talking to him one on one, ask him to b free with you and let him tell you what the problem is...people steal for various reasons and some don't want to but find thierself doing it already...like i said talk to him and one of this days take him to the station and show him want happens to people who steal and how their life is been cut short and seperated from every one they love..that will help him retrace his steps especially when he sees how the criminals are been treated..I hope this helps

All necessary advice has been given, am just pitying the parents now.

The solution is very simple... if you don't disgrace that child. .. he would end up disgracing you...



Call stronger boys .. like 4.. in his school... cos that the best place... with the permission of the principal.. strip him naked.... and flog the living demon out from him...



Right in front of his school mates....




Do this and thank me later

Just like PEAK, its in him!

use the rod……… i mean use koboko for him body like 6 times e go hear word. But if he doesnt, just relax & watch.Note: the problem is now psychological ………… the only way to change that is to suffer from an emotional loss…… how? maybe u should fake it.

Change the blood

Once upon a time, an elderly woman had a son with this same challenge. After many warnings, this child ignored. She doesn't know how to express her hurt to her son. He stole again and this time she held him close to her, put a long needed in a hot fire, when it became red, she inserted it in her own palms as she cried painfully. The son in tears, tried to divert her face but she made sure he watched her see HOW SHE FEELS WHEN HE STEALS.

Just a thought...That son never stole again.

Let the parents touch that child through an emotional vantage point.

That's the answer! Children are a blessing not a curse!

Shalom!

sente rababa,ribebe,sinta rikasondo rababa.amen.donate him to Nigeria army

vivypretty:

even ur child's class room teacher also helps in raising ur child,ur relations etc

Yeah that's true dear, but those folks are going to be minor characters my dear. We would train the kid in such a way that whatever daddy and mommy says that's going to be the ultimate. I and my wife would be our kids super Hero

Spare the rod and spoil the child. Parents fault....they created the little monster and now fear is setting in. This is the type of parents that pet and pamper their kid...and turn a blind eye to the wrongs they do.... until it is too late. Now that they realize their son is a thief... look at the measures they take.....lock away everything...threaten to call the police. The boy is untouchable....has no fear nor thought of consequences....home grown terrorist. Bend the tree when it is young....a bit harder to do at this age....but they need to instead of sitting and wailing and complaining and praying for God to intervene...after all....God helps those who help themselves.

Kleptomania is hereditary . Check your family history, it is either you are a thief yourself or your husband is a thief! Family of armed robbers!!!!

Cutehector:
Only Jesus can save him

Jusus didn't save your pastor from stealing church funds. Did he?

Where do the parents work? If they are civil servants, do they engage in corruption? If so, their child is just manifesting his DNA
....But seriously, it is nothing prayer, proper monitoring and quality flogging cannot correct.

Take him for deliverance first.
Then, arrange for him to visit Panti police station to see how armed robbers are treated. Follow that up with a visit to Kirikiri maximum prison. Hin head go reset.
Moreover, you are yet to try the old tested method our elderly ones used to chase out that spirit in every child - proper flogging.
I detest boarding school. Chai!

Cutehector:
Only Jesus can save him

True talk but they should check if its genetic or just kleptomania habit.
If its genetic, the couple should do what they should have done earlier before the marriage commenced.
That is proper investigation and verification of family issue.
Prayer is the key to every solution though

Luke 1:37 "For with GOD NOTHING shall be IMPOSSIBLE"
Send knee mail to God in the name of Jesus Christ.
Be nice to your son and love him unconditionally.
Refuse anyone to call your child evil names like thief, etc.
Declare that he is delivered, set free and victorious.
Become his best friend, listen to him and become his role model.
Gently teach him the consequences of his behaviors, yet, love him unconditionally.
Protect him in the best way you can.
Praise him each time he does something right and accomplishes a mile stone.
Tell him how proud you are about him and that you believe and trust him, his abilities, skills etc.
Constantly declare that he is a child of honour, he will bring you honour and that he has the DNA of Jesus in him.
Don't allow the devil to defeat you, remember, the trials of our faith worketh patience, and God will never give you a situation He knows you couldn't handle, also, remember that you and your son are more than conqueror in Jesus name, amen.
I will be very willing to stand in prayers with you.
Your son is a shinning light in Jesus name, amen.
Be encouraged, all is well.

The tone in your home sounds a tad too materialistic. And materialism is the hotbed of theft, embezzlement, etc. The bible says it results from 'lack of contentment', always wanting more, wanting another, wanting something else. You yourself say you give him what he wants and provides his needs at an instant. Who does that.

Go back to the Holy Book and observe how God our Father deals with us His children. When you are 'born anew' you learn of His Promises and He lavishes you with gifts and benefits because He knows you cannot get them by yourself but with time and growth He withdraws the ease and replaces it with responsibility. He doesn't say you can't have it but you must begin to work it out. This work moderates one's appetite and puts life in better perspective.

The solutions to this which is good parenting is to gradually replace benefits with responsibility year on year. Make your son begin to 'work for things' as he grows. Any other way is....just a waste of time.

MeandSum:


Jusus didn't save your pastor from stealing church funds. Did he?

I"m a catholic

Beating is a wrong way! Lord knows you won't find a cane in my house. Which kain cane I never chop? All forms of wire! The one wey dem dey use carry light for pole? Or the one wey dem dey use plug radio? Or which kain koboko? 3 mouth? 4 mouth? Or which kain cane? Stick wey dey fat wella? Who tell you say dem no dey use broom beat male child? If na by that I no suppose get the kain thing between my legs! Infact seen it all!

I chop cane reach limit wey be say mumsy dey beat me wey my body don tear get bruise I tell am say make she please allow me go wash chamipions league final! The problem was I come home late around 10pm as at secondary school stage, play ps2, skip school to play,play football enter stage wey I get name for area! Watch ball enter time wey be say na my hand bros for street dey ask scores,cultism dey high for my street! Me wey dey get 7position for large population class guess what? Na on trial I take enter ss3!

My mum stopped beating,cause I was like sheby she go beat? Ehen make me sef enjoy myself, and I go comfortable chop beating.

Now those are past, is not the cane that changed me but I pitied my parent cause I started feeling a sense of responsibility immediately I left secondary school. So cane no dey change man ooo e dey even spoil am ni!