It's well now

@ op this is a serious one anyway.although it not easy taking care of another man's child,but what would one do? already you where aware and you sign on to it.

my advice is,if you love your wife then replicate that same love to him.







And finally let the love of God,be a big deal to you.

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Cc lalasticlala

Maturity is the key to a successful marriage.
Even without the kid, your wife was not a virgin before u married her, so making a mountain out of a mould hill is just hurting yourself. Sorry to say so, but it doesn't show Maturity.
I know it doesn't feel nice having the responsibility of taking care of another person child in a marriage even before taking care of yours, but the truth is that you were aware of all this before u took the leap, you did it out of pity but now you want to put her through another section of hurt, Infact u are doing so already.
Thinking she thinks good of a man who put her through misery is awkward.
My advice, let the little boy be, no body knows the future, he might be the one to salvage your family in future, take him as you would ur own child, meet a therapist for advice, Talking ng to your pastor and an elder can help too

You should have thought of all this before hitting the highway with her






btw, check my signature

LadyBoss1:
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Wow, nice dp. Wanted to add a like but don't know how,(I know it's funny, but this is the first time I want to do so) any help?
Never thought I'll see my Lala's pic again. Never really recovered from the effects of you abandoning us sha

faith551:


Wow, nice dp. Never thought I'll see my Lala's pic again. Never really recovered from the effects of you abandoning us sha

Lol still haba its been months nau
Surely ur broken heart should b mended by now ..
How are u longest time

Brother i feel your pain. You are a man, get that over you. Just take the boy as your son and you will have a lovely family you wished. The boy will never forget your good deeds to him so treat him well. He might be of help to you or his half siblings in the future. No one knows tomorrow.
#my humble advice

LadyBoss1:
Lol still haba its been months nau Surely ur broken heart should b mended by now .. How are u longest time

Lol, Who for come mend am? I edited the initial post, check it and see if u can help

faith551:


Lol,
Who for come mend am?
I edited the initial post, check it and see if u can help

Should be at d bottom of d pic .. Not sure on the layout of ur phone or lappy

If you love your wife, get over it....theres nufin u can ddo

LadyBoss1:

Should be at d bottom of d pic .. Not sure on the layout of ur phone or lappy

Thanks, knew I sounded dumb, but I dnt form .
I didn't really check well initially.
So how u doing

faith551:


Thanks, knew I sounded dumb, but I dnt from .
I didn't really check well initially.
So how u doing

Im good thanks ..just chilling will head out later .. But lets not derail this topic tho

Like the phoenix, I shall be back.

LadyBoss1:

Im good thanks ..just chilling will head out later .. But lets not derail this topic tho

Wasn't intending to, sorry to the Op. So dnt really want to miss the opportunity tho

The best option is to get the boy away from your house. Don't let your wife or anybody confuse you. If she says she doesnt have anybody to keep him with, she is lying. She is just looking for a way to keep him close.

These fellows on nairaland will be the one to crucify you when anything happens to that boy in your home. Even your wife you love so dearly will accuse you. Nigerian culture always associate the word "STEP" with evil and the fact that someone knows how you feel about the boy will always make you a potential suspect.

I'm surprised you didn't talk this through earlier. You should have told her earlier you wouldn't want him in your home. Taking care of your wife's son/daughter is a very hard thing to do except if you are both divorced, widowed or aged.

@op let's just say d reverse is d case, u were d little boy, nd he is ur step dad, how will u feel if u knows wat he is harboring in his heart towards u all dese while, ur wife is not d first to have a child out of wedlock nd she won't be d last, nd u knew about dis before you married her, so y all dese feeling, if it will make u feel any better my elder sister had a child out of wedlock nd she is happily married now, nd her husband treats her daughter as if she was his own, nd he proudly calls her his first child,so op relax nd embrace dat child like it's ur own blood, u will see dat u will be more happier in ur marriage nd ur wife will be very happy too, or don't u want to see ur wife happy

F

jomile:
@op let's just say d reverse is d case, u were d little boy, nd he is ur step dad, how will u feel if u knows wat he is harboring in his heart towards u all dese while, ur wife is not d first to have a child out of wedlock nd she won't be d last, nd u knew about dis before you married her, so y all dese feeling, if it will make u feel any better my elder sister had a child out of wedlock nd she is happily married now, nd her husband treats her daughter as if she was his own, nd he proudly calls her his first child,so op relax nd embrace dat child like it's ur own blood, u will see dat u will be more happier in ur marriage nd ur wife will be very happy too, or don't u want to see ur wife happy

I really want to see my wife happy and that's what's bothering me now. I feel if the kid was a girl, maybe I would not have felt this way.

Johnny:


I really want to see my wife happy and that's what's bothering me now. I feel if the kid was a girl, maybe I would not have felt this way.

boy or girl u will still feel the same,it's not d child fault dat he is in dis situation, deep down in his heart he might be trying his best for you to accept him as ur own, so please for d sake of ur wife, cos dey said a happy wife is a happy home, just put those taughts aside nd embrace him as ur own,trust me u will be glad you did

If you know you are not happy with d little boy ask ur wife to take him to her parent for peace to reign in ur home.

Another ootion is to love the boy and treat him like your own biological child. What ever you do unto him, do it 'as unto the Lord'.

The boy is already seven yrs old, do not let him find out you are not his real father through your attitude towards him. because the young shall grow and there is a law karma!

Remember the little boy is not @ fault, he is just a victim of circumstances. He needs love and care..

Op, cheer up! If u're financially bouyant enough to take care or d boy pls don't hesitate to do so. Put ur self in ur wife's shoe n do unto her what u would want her do to u. Come to think of it, if she had aborted that pregnancy and it destroyed her womb would u av prefer barrenness to her present state. Look at Bola Ahmed Tinubu, he was adopted and was d only surviving child of d woman dat adopted her at her death. Mistake do come in life and nobody is perfect. What if she is ur sister?

Not even sure where to start from but Dude you f..d up big time.
when you date and marry a single mom, you already accept that she's a package deal. Right from the onset.
You can't love her without her child. If you love her, you can't claim not to love her kid as he is a vital part of her. And you can't possibly try to separate her from her kid. THat would be cruel.

One thing about dating a single mother? You'll never be first in her life. Her kid comes first. You have to know that.

Your second screw up, marrying a lady cos she was pregnant within 3 months. You should have both used protection till you are okay with having kids. But you couldn't resist skin to skin abi? Now it has happened. Now time to deal wit it. You married her cos of her sad past? That's not good enough. You be captain save a ho?

Now it has happened, forget the ex. He is in the past, no big deal. And hopefully he will still surface for the kid in future. Cos the kid needs the both of you. His biological father, and his real dad, you - hoping you become what he needs. You will be his role model in life.

Kids can sense when they are not loved. They can sense when they do not belong. This kid will grow up with you kids and be a brother to them. He will be there to help and guide them, and in your absence, be a father figure to them. You really want to make sure that your substitute father figure is up to the standard for your kids. If you did, you would not regret it. My step father has never regretted it, he's made me the man I am today.

U better watch ur self man, before u start committing child abuse or murder. From the look of it ur mind is rapidly running to the Devils.