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What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 1:13am On Mar 29, 2009
bluespice:

guys quit being hard on her
not many can move on that fast
granted she's lingering a whole lot longer than usual well, thats cos she's still single
n very much aware ( i mean she still seems him maybe not physically but on facebook) of this ex

on those calling me topup naw
not about to start posting in colours tongue
love me some black anyday

just kidding yeah i like talking on relationships
just dont do it often



its more fun to make noise honestly grin


topup look its very very okay to be 'un-nice'
im in my second yr in college n i can tell u the 'nice' girls dont have as much fun as the 'un-nice'
dont get me wrong they r nice just that u have to be worthy of their 'niceness'
the less u spread urself out in the aim to be 'nice'm
the more 'niceness' u have to share with those that actually deserve it


sorry for the many nices tongue

tope ill go soft on u if ur not carefull! angry tongue

I am in university, I am working on sustaining my current relationships, and less about being mis-popular. I know how my mother is, and I know all her family and friends think the world of her, I believe I am so much like her, but as a child I hated the way she gave so freely and viewed her as a punching bag. Well, she's still standing, and after raising us and being with her all this time, I've realised that she's stronger than I ever imagined. I think for now, I'll continue being myself, that should sort out this nice/not nice person. Bluespice, I live in the UK, and people are supposedly much nicer here, lol we all have seen the dramatisations of American colleges and highschools, and good luck to you sister!!


I am not trying to focus on appearing as if I'm moving on fast, but more on the issues. I need to understand why I linger over these things, and the funny thing is I'm lingering to find out why I linger.

Because I have not given into peer pressure, I am not declaring immunity over my emotions, like most people would want me to. We claim to want to be there for other people, but really it is apparent to me, that there is a cut-off point.

I am not asking you, why any guy in my past has left me, or what I should do to get him back. I am merely trying to cover my tracks, cos the first people to point and say I told you so, would be the people around me, who could have adviced me. I am not too proud to say 'guys what do you think', but I am starting to believe that that is an issue, here. I should reach an age, where I am self-sufficient and I do as I say, and cut off external input.

That's my problem, I'm looking for advice, always on this forum, and people have heard enough.

I get it now.
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by Nobody: 1:15am On Mar 29, 2009
Don't give too much of your life away on this forum, top up.
You're telling toomuch wink
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by tope2000(f): 1:16am On Mar 29, 2009
bluespice:

tope ur not good cry cry cry
im telling mommy on what i saw on ur laptop in that encrypted file angry angry cool wink
never leave ur laptop or pda near me again
im in IT major breaking codes is my hobby! cool

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh . . . . .u r dead girl angry angry
just wait till i catch you cheesy tongue
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by Nobody: 1:16am On Mar 29, 2009
chamotex:

Sorry but is it like an essay competition going up in here or something??

No na poetry competition.

@ topic . . . u can actually be friends with your ex - FACT. Infact i'm good friends with all but one of my exes . . . it all depends on how mature you both are on why you had to breakup and why its best for you both.

You still sound pretty naive and ur ex is still a small boy as far as i'm concerned. Besides all these folks who conduct relationships via facebook na wa o.
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by bluespice(f): 1:19am On Mar 29, 2009
dear dont get irrational and quit this forum altogether! sad
as there r people that honestly care about u so also are people that . . . well forget about those ones smiley


im not in America whatever gave u that idea?  undecided cheesy

when i said fun i wasnt relating to being popular or not (who thinks about that in college seriously?)
i meant doing things without having to give excuses for actions
doing things because u want to damning almost all consequences

i really think u should read the book i suggested
it will do u awhole lot of good smiley
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 1:19am On Mar 29, 2009
C2H5OH:

If you want to hear what I have to say, I think you're putting too much effort into trying to keep a relationship with your boy.  Even though you claim that's how you are.  You need to cut him of completely, in your heart, as a boyfriend and even as a friend or facebook buddy.  For the sake of your sanity you cannot be friends. You can't sit on your computer desk with your arms folded obsessing over his status messages on facebook or watching him upload pictures with new girls, watching him have fun with the boys. You will sit there moping, wanting what you can't have.  It will only serve as fuel to make you look back on your past relationship.  Friendship with him right now is not a good thing because you are not completely over him.  Give your heart time to fully heal.  Please  embarassed

Lol, I understand completely. I'm not doing any of those. I think I might have risked it by introducing him into my life again so soon and hence slowing the recovery process, but nonetheless I am still recovering, and I was doing so good. He managed to make me feel bad for ignoring him despite his contact for three months. There's a lot more that's happened in between that I left off Nairaland because I was over it, it's just that his birthday is coming, and I want to find the perfect act that doesn't mean anything and can't be faulted if you know what I mean. By the way, there is no relationship between me and him.

As I was writing the topic earlier, I actually wanted to block him from my Facebook, I don't go on his profile and haven't been on in 2 weeks, and before that week, I hadn't been for 2 months (I've been too busy).

I'm not asking for Nairalanders to cut me some slack, I'd rather they just understand me, and my reasons before they judge.

I feel like taking your blind advice because you've been reasonable to me on this thread, and I feel like cutting him off. But what happens on that day when I stumble on his name, I don't want to be shocked. Now, I see his status on my homepage, every now and then, and I don't even stop to read it (apart from a week ago, that I had holidays and was really bored and was reading everybody's and commenting on everything tongue).
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 1:20am On Mar 29, 2009
Ebony-Silk:

Don't give too much of your life away on this forum, top up.
You're telling toomuch wink

HAHA! It seems that's one of the best pieces of advice I've received so far.

You know what though, I can't talk to my friends about it either. They hate men, and the instant response is; "Get over it."
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by bluespice(f): 1:22am On Mar 29, 2009
then u screen ur messages
dont tell too much only what's most important wink
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 1:25am On Mar 29, 2009
bluespice:

dear dont get irrational and quit this forum altogether! sad
as there r people that honestly care about u so also are people that . . . well forget about those ones smiley


im not in America whatever gave u that idea?  undecided cheesy

when i said fun i wasnt relating to being popular or not (who thinks about that in college seriously?)
i meant doing things without having to give excuses for actions
doing things because u want to damning almost all consequences

i really think u should read the book i suggested
it will do u awhole lot of good smiley

Hehe, I made a lot of assumptions sorry, I was getting carried away.

Last year something happened to me, and since then I've been a lot more selfish -- so it's almost the effects you described you got after reading the book. I realised life was too short, it hasn't helped my over-analytical side though.
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by Nobody: 1:25am On Mar 29, 2009
topup:

HAHA! It seems that's one of the best pieces of advice I've received so far.

You know what though, I can't talk to my friends about it either. They hate men, and the instant response is; "Get over it."

If your friends won't listen, talk to an impartial listener.
Somehow, I'm not the kind of person that'd bring my love life issues on NL where majority of the readers have unstable relationships themselves.

I don't know. I think you should talk to someone who does not know him and you very well. Someone who'd listen to both side of the story without making biased judgments.

Your friends will always blame your antagonist wink
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by Nobody: 1:26am On Mar 29, 2009
Oh dear me, both sides of the story.

But we never do hear both sides of the story, so unfortunate
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by onyinye2(f): 1:27am On Mar 29, 2009
Ebony-Silk:

Somehow, I'm not the kind of person that'd bring my love life issues on NL where majority of the readers have unstable relationships themselves.
Nwanyi di njo cheesy
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by Nobody: 1:28am On Mar 29, 2009
onyinye2:

Nwanyi di njo cheesy
Translate, you know that agaba stopped teaching me Igbo tongue
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 1:28am On Mar 29, 2009
Ebony-Silk:

If your friends won't listen, talk to an impartial listener.
Somehow, I'm not the kind of person that'd bring my love life issues on NL where majority of the readers have unstable relationships themselves.

I don't know. I think you should talk to someone who does not know him and you very well. Someone who'd listen to both side of the story without making biased judgments.

Your friends will always blame your antagonist  wink

Noted & thanks.

Same to bluespice & ethanol smiley


Ebony-Silk:

Oh dear me, both sides of the story.

But we never do hear both sides of the story, so unfortunate

That's true, I hope I haven't painted a false pic of the guy lol. Luckily for him he has a bestfriend he pours his heart to - his sister.
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by C2H5OH(f): 1:29am On Mar 29, 2009
It's okay sweets.  Whenever you feel the need to talk, come here.  We are one big happy family, so we should be able to lean on each other for comfort.  Right now you need our brotherly/sisterly words of advice and that is exactly what we are going to give you.  As harsh or pleasant as they may seem, please try to understand that we all want the best for you - I know I do.  You don't have to wobble through this lonely road alone.
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by onyinye2(f): 1:30am On Mar 29, 2009
Ebony-Silk:

Translate, you know that agaba stopped teaching me Igbo  tongue
It means you bad girl. tongue When did he start teaching you in the first place? tongue
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by bluespice(f): 1:30am On Mar 29, 2009
top-up
im sorry r friends wont listen
n NL hasnt proven to be ur best succor
why dont u try writing?
i mean write what  feel
and how u feel
u should get some form of mental clarity after putting all ur jumbled feelings n thoughts on paper undecided
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by agabaI23(m): 1:31am On Mar 29, 2009
O ruby bu ebony-silk?

Chei!
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by Sauron1: 1:33am On Mar 29, 2009
topup:


So you're ex-girlfriend/boyfriend's birthday is approaching, what are you going to do??


Ex-girlfriend's birthday?? Who remembers such??
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 1:33am On Mar 29, 2009
C2H5OH:

It's okay sweets.  Whenever you feel the need to talk, come here.  We are one big happy family, so we should be able to lean on each other for comfort.  Right now you need our brotherly/sisterly words of advice and that is exactly what we are going to give you.  As harsh or pleasant as they may seem, please try to understand that we all want the best for you - I know I do.  You don't have to wobble through this lonely road alone.


Eh!! Now you're just messing with my mind LOL.

About the last sentence, hope you won't retract it in future. Anyways, I'm off to do what I think I do best, put my nose in other people's business and put my pushy advice on others, Tarah!!

All the best.


bluespice:

top-up
im sorry r friends wont listen
n NL hasnt proven to be ur best succor
why dont u try writing?
i mean write what  feel
and how u feel
u should get some form of mental clarity after putting all ur jumbled feelings n thoughts on paper undecided

Hehe, did I ever mention that I have 3 blogs, and write a ton of poetry??

I think I should watch out for these friends, the same ones that come up to me and ask me; "hows the ex, have you heard from him, you haven't talked about him for a long time." or "despite what topup says, I think she WOULD take him back, because she's not strong enough."

Heartfelt real advice right there hehehe
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 1:34am On Mar 29, 2009
~Sauron~:

Ex-girlfriend's birthday?? Who remembers such??

If you have Facebook, you will.
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by Nobody: 1:34am On Mar 29, 2009
topup:

Noted & thanks.

Same to bluespice & ethanol smiley


That's true, I hope I haven't painted a false pic of the guy lol. Luckily for him he has a bestfriend he pours his heart to - his sister.

To me, every manis bad until proven otherwise. grin
So he no matter wink

Just rem., reduce the [i]personal [/i]information you post. I assure you, they always come back to bite you.

onyinye2:

It means you bad girl. tongue When did he start teaching you in the first place? tongue
You forgot, nwanyi?
Kedu?
I meela?
Gini?
grin grin


@Bluespice
Writing is like keeping it in.
I mean, whose to hear you? You pen certainly won't give you the advice you need.
You start withdrawing and bottling everything in a book.
Then to read later on to pity yourself.
Hmm, unless she wants to publish it. Then yes wink
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by onyinye2(f): 1:35am On Mar 29, 2009
@top up

Personally if I'm having problems with guys in general, the last people I would go to is women. I'd rather go to my guy friends first then them. Because guys usually give it to you straight. Not that women don't but sometimes women are a wee bit manipulative and that is the last thing you need to be around.

So find yourself a really trustworthy guy friend and he doesn't necessarily have to be straight. Because I have guy friends who are gay and give great advice.

Just do whatever you feel is right.
agabaI23:

O ruby bu ebony-silk?

Chei!
Maybe. . .
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by Nobody: 1:35am On Mar 29, 2009
agabaI23:

O ruby bu ebony-silk?

Chei!
Yes na, and thanks for skipping our Igbo lesson.
Wetin na, u no dey keep promises?
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by onyinye2(f): 1:37am On Mar 29, 2009
Ebony-Silk:

You forgot, nwanyi?
Kedu?
I meela?
Gini?
grin grin
LMAO!! Okay maybe he taught you somethings, but even though I aint fluent in Igbo. I can still sort of read and make out what was said. And it sure wasn't something a teacher would say tongue
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 1:38am On Mar 29, 2009
onyinye2:

@top up

Personally if I'm having problems with guys in general, the last people I would go to is women. I'd rather go to my guy friends first then them. Because guys usually give it to you straight. Not that women don't but sometimes women are a wee bit manipulative and that is the last thing you need to be around.That's true!! My friends messed up my mind. They all had different ways of dealing (which worked for them).


So find yourself a really trustworthy guy friend and he doesn't necessarily have to be straight. Because I have guy friends who are gay and give great advice.

Just do whatever you feel is right.Maybe. . .

That's true, I don't have a really close guy friend, however I have a good enough candidate who happens to be completely out of the situation. He told me, that my ex was a player, and can you believe, it was ME who was making excuses for him. Now if I said what my friend said to me, the guys here would cuss the life out of me.

Another guy friend described the ex as 'a player with a heart. So he ruined the relationship, before he could break your heart lol.'
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by C2H5OH(f): 1:39am On Mar 29, 2009
I am not trying to focus on appearing as if I'm moving on fast, but more on the issues. I need to understand why I linger over these things, and the funny thing is I'm lingering to find out why I linger.
Right now you are in denial about what you need to do to move past these worries in your mind.  You talk about focusing on the issues as if you did something wrong.  We have all read up on your situation and most of us came to the conclusion that you fell in love with the wrong person.  Unfortunately he was your first true love, so it's hard to get over him, but he won't be your last!  You knew what you wanted and you put in overtime, exhausted all possiblities, tried your hardest to make your relationship work.  He wasn't having any of that.  It's like working with a lazy partner at a job, or working on a team project while in school.  You did all you could but your partner didn't give a shit about the assigned work.
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by C2H5OH(f): 1:42am On Mar 29, 2009
Hehe, did I ever mention that I have 3 blogs, and write a ton of poetry??

I think I should watch out for these friends, the same ones that come up to me and ask me; "hows the ex, have you heard from him, you haven't talked about him for a long time." or "despite what topup says, I think she WOULD take him back, because she's not strong enough."

Heartfelt real advice right there hehehe
Tope, tell this gay friends to stay out of your business. They are not helping you. If they are good friends they won't continue refreshing old wounds in your mind. What purpose does it serve, asking you about him? Tell them to stay out of your bisi
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by bluespice(f): 1:43am On Mar 29, 2009
oh well,
im off to bed guys
n topup writing has and is still helping me in my life wink
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by Sauron1: 1:43am On Mar 29, 2009
topup:

If you have Facebook, you will.


Ignore it. . . . . . .
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by Nobody: 1:44am On Mar 29, 2009
onyinye2:

LMAO!! Okay maybe he taught you somethings, but even though I aint fluent in Igbo. I can still sort of read and make out what was said. And it sure wasn't something a teacher would say tongue
Like I said before, the ball is in my court and I choose my opponent tongue
Get what I mean wink


(No mind am jare)
Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 1:45am On Mar 29, 2009
bluespice:

oh well,
im off to bed guys
n topup writing has and is still helping me in my life wink

Take care, smiley

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