Stats: 3,191,363 members, 7,943,881 topics. Date: Monday, 09 September 2024 at 07:24 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison (3409 Views)
Why Married Men Prefer Us To Their Wives - Commercial Sex Workers / 7 Reasons Why Married Men Sleep With Their House Helps / Why Do Some Married Women Cheat? (2) (3) (4)
Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by Nobody: 8:51pm On Aug 24, 2015 |
Ashley Madison, the marrieds-looking-for-affairs website, had more in store for me than I thought. "Honey, I have to join Ashley Madison." So began the pitch I gave my wife to let me join the marrieds-looking-for-affairs website AshleyMadison.com. It would be part of my research into women who cheat, why infidelity is increasing, and what can be done to possibly affair-proof a marriage. I proposed to "cheat" on her for a few weeks, to talk to and attempt to seduce as many women as possible, and get a real-world understanding of why women want to stay married but also need some illicit action on the side. Of course, on my end, there'd be nothing more than conversation. She looked at me straight-faced, unflinching. I searched her eyes for any telltale sign of the Charles-I'm-going-to-punch-you-in-the-face-right-after-I-castrate-you look; nothing. After a long pause, I got her only thought: "No, I get it," she said emphatically. "It's a great story. But it's kinda like asking the newly vegetarian fox to guard the henhouse, isn't it?" I thought about it, and unfortunately her statement wasn't too far from the truth. If you back me up a few years — sans wife, kids, dogs, published book on relationships, 1.5 million+ readers and fans following my relationship advice on Facebook — I was a chronic womanizer; a past she knows about, but never experienced personally. To make matters worse, I wasn't some weak pick-up artist using idiotic dating boot camp approaches that reeked of negativity and douchebaggery on vulnerable women in order to break them down and manipulate them into sex. No… I was far more despicable than that. Was I looking to get women into bed? Of course, but it was more than that. I worked hard to become the embodiment of seduction. To quickly read the spoken and unspoken clues of what a woman was looking for in a man, and then give her the perception I was that guy. In effect, to become so alluring that she would willingly give herself over, thinking that having sex was her idea. After all, it's much easier to convince people of things they think they have thought of themselves. It was quite a rush, and as the wake of emotional destruction would later exemplify, seducing women became my drug of choice. "No, babe ... that's not even close," I told her, not fully considering the implications of the coming situations. "That was 15… no, almost 20 years ago. And you know that I love you. There's nothing to fear." After another pregnant pause, she consented with a few words of sage advice: "Don't. Bleep. Up." The Statistics According to The Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, nearly 50 percent of married women and 60 percent of married men will have an extramarital affair at some point in their marriage. When you consider that these statistics are nearly double what they were a short 10 years ago, clearly this is beyond an issue; it is now commonplace. But it's far from a surprise; it was predicted. Futurist Alvin Toffler wrote the best seller Future Shock in 1970, and with matter-of-fact conviction he wrote of "trial" or "temporary marriages"—young people's first marriages, lasting three months to three years—and of "serial marriages" that would take place after the dissolution of the "trial marriage" at specific turning points in people's lives. So, does this mean marriage has "jumped the shark" and become obsolete? Hardly. Marriage is not the issue. Commitment and loyalty or the lack thereof are at the crux of this. After all, marriage is a legal and/or spiritual binding of two people… but if commitment isn't there and loyalty becomes a matter of subjectivity or convenience, the marriage is already nonexistent. Cheating then becomes a symptom of a secretly failed marriage. But is it really so black and white, with no grey and no room for mistakes, missteps, or moments of weakness? Do people who cheat want to leave their current marriage? Are they secretly trying to get caught so they'll have an excuse to get out? I needed answers to these questions (and many others), so I headed where any high-tech junkie looking to cheat on his wife would go: online. |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by Nobody: 8:52pm On Aug 24, 2015 |
The Business of Infidelity The advent of the Internet has made having an illicit affair easier than ever before. Meeting Mr. or Ms. Right, The Sequel, is a mere mouse-click for anyone with a credit card. If you're looking to Hit-It-And-Quit-It, there's AdultFriendFinder.com, Craigslist's Casual Encounters or Fling.com (NSF), among many others. But sex-only semi-anonymous hookups wasn't where my investigation was headed, as women looking to merely have sex can meet a man anywhere—nightclubs, coffee shops, Facebook, wherever. My hypothesis was simple: women who were looking for an extramarital affair with another married man were looking to connect in some way. If both parties were married, they not only started on even ground, but they had something in common—they were missing something from their current relationship. I needed to uncover the motivations behind starting and maintaining an affair. And affairs are big business. Numerous websites are dedicated to connecting those looking to engage in flagrante delicto sans spouse. MarriedCafe.com and LonelyWivesAffairs.com are but the tip of the iceberg, and all have women and men signing up in droves. The undisputed leader for cheating is AshleyMadison.com, the "Life is short. Have an affair." website. AshleyMadison has experienced meteoric growth since its founding in 2002, with no slowing in sight. And while founder and CEO Noel Biderman doesn't condone having an affair, he seems perfectly comfortable with others doing their adultery thing. Works for some ... and now, it was my turn to get my (feigned) cheat on. "Hello, Ashley Madison! Long time, no cheat!" I filled out my nickname and relevant info, plopped down my credit card number (discretely billed as "AMDB" to my credit card statement), and then all I needed to do was ... wait a second. I was faced with the eternal online seduction dilemma: now what? What will make the opposite sex want me online? What do women want to see on my profile? Recent reports state that Ashley Madison has a community that is comprised of 70 percent men and 30 percent women. Clearly women have the upper hand with choice, so I needed to stand out against all the other guys. I posted a real picture of me (I was looking to connect in-person, after all), but I listed a fake name (if they Googled my real name, I was sure to be caught). To formulate the right approach, I decided to do something I couldn't do in the real world: get into the minds of my competition, albeit a little sneakily. I signed up for a second Ashley Madison account as a woman, "Shelly," and began checking out the guys' profiles. Most of the men's profiles highlighted attempts at humor, asking straight-out for sex, to ... uh ... romance ("I like walks on the beach." ![]() With a firm understanding of where my competition played—and the miserable approaches of some—I got to work writing something unique, confident, and (hopefully) mysterious and seductive. I set up three profiles to see which would resonate the fastest and which would hit with the most success. "Scottie" was unsure, shy, and a bit weak ("I'm not sure why I'm here." ![]() ![]() ![]() Early Success Online dating is a complicated arena much like ordering fast food, in that what you get is never really what the picture and description promise. And given the demographical split on the site, I was prepared to be searching and waiting for a number of days for interest or responses. To my surprise, Cameron's profile had 20 messages on his first night. I responded to a few messages, and before I knew it I was invited to a chat session with "SexyCat" (profile name changed to ensure her anonymity). SexyCat wanted to know all kinds of things, and what I would do if given the opportunity. With my wife watching TV on the couch a mere 10 feet away, here I was talking dirty to a 36-year-old married woman (who's husband was probably watching TV on the couch a mere 10 feet away from her). SexyCat wasn't the only one. I discovered that to satisfy their deep longing for passion with minimal risk, many women sign up for Ashley Madison to have virtual sex via chat. Over the next several days, I had chat sessions of varying length with 33 different women (hmm ... it is online ... I wonder if they were all women!). In each session, I attempted to take things to the next level—an in-person meeting—but no-go. Most of these women seemed comfortable in getting what they needed online. It was arm's-length cheating for them (and perhaps one-handed typing). I hope I didn't disappoint them and that virtual cigarettes were ablaze in post-coital, pixelated afterglow of my CyberLove adventures. I told my wife about my hot chats… and she laughed. We got into a long discussion about the arm's length approach to cheating these women had, and if it was really cheating. If it was borderline anonymous (read: they didn't know much about me), it was akin to an interactive romance or erotic novel. I recounted some of the more sexually explicit material these ladies had written, as well as what I wrote in response, and we both said aloud what we have known for a long time: When it comes to sex, women will get into the real detail ... so much more so than most men. And with the inherent anonymity of chat, those inhibitions only grow exponentially. But I hadn't been afraid; I can talk dirty with the best of them. But Ashley Madison had more in store for me than just chat sessions. Date #1: "Ashley" "Ashley" initially reached out to me and was eager to meet. After a brief inbox exchange on the website, we decide to meet for coffee at a cafe in Mountain View, a stone's throw from California's Silicon Valley. She was a dead-on match to her picture: a striking 5'8" blonde. As we headed inside, I caught a glimpse of our reflections in the window and laughed quietly. At 5'5", I look like Dudley Moore to her Brigitte Nielsen. She was confident, and as it turned out, a bit of a cheating pro. At 43 and a pure Type A personality—a Sales Executive in high-tech—she'd been married for 22 years and has had several affairs. Ashley Madison has been her "outlet" for the past number of years. I ask if her husband has an outlet, as well, and she was clear that he doesn't. "He would never," she said with equal confidence. "He doesn't have time for this kind of thing." As we talked, our conversation turned to the philosophical and intellectual side of life and world events: Descartes, Nietzsche, politics, world history, religion, sex... subjects about which I have no shortage of opinions and personal insight. And I realized her outlet was mental and intellectual stimulation. She was fascinated that I was able to keep up with her, and she flushed, showing signs that this was more than banter for her—it was pre-intimacy. Ashley told me she loved her husband but couldn't understand why he had dropped back from their relationship. He was "passion and romance" when they dated, but had become "all work and no play." She shared briefly that as the Chief Technical Officer of a technology start-up, he was too busy for her, with travel and his company taking all his time. "But he's always been too busy, ever since we got married," she lamented. I piled on to her discontent by falsely offering that my wife also has no time for me, but I then asked her: "So why don't we leave them, then? Why are we here?" She didn't miss a beat. "I need passion. I need to feel something ... almost anything at this point. He has great qualities, but ..." and we then dropped the subject at her request. She was extremely intelligent and witty—and she was just as clear that sex was a priority. "You seem a little green, so let me explain where I'm at. I'm not here looking for a husband, so you don't need to worry about that. I'm looking for a man to take the lead; to invest his time, but not his emotions. Oh, and your height isn't a problem." We both laughed. Our hour-long coffee date flew by, and under different circumstances I would have loved to continue the conversation. She was strong, funny, direct… but she seemed OK with missing out on what she really wants from a relationship and settling for something mediocre in her romantic life. I left the date thinking I might better understand her on our next date. Date #2: "Shannon" "Shannon" read my profile and reached out to me to begin a dialogue. When we connected, she was upfront that she wasn't yet clear on her limits, so if I was looking for sex today, I needed to move on. I told her I wasn't clear either, and that coffee sounded good, hoping we could share a bit of time to see how we both felt. Shannon was interesting: 35, dirty blonde hair, smart, funny, full of life, well-read and educated. She had made the decision to raise her two kids as a stay-at-home mom. She and her husband met in college, and had been together since, but his attentiveness waned after the first couple of years. I asked why she stayed. Her answer: "Because I love him." I feel strangely comfortable, so I shared that I hadn't had an affair yet, and that I'm new to the site and not clear on what to do… or when. She empathized, remembering when she was new to Ashley Madison. She'd had two affairs in the past, but they were strictly for sex, and it left her feeling empty. "Sex is great, but I'm looking for some time together, too. Not dating ... but just something new. My husband is a great guy, but he talks to me like I'm stupid half of the time. And I have kids; I don't want to leave." We talk more and it's clear she wants to laugh, to live, to love. I wonder why she stays with her husband. At the end of our date, I keep things cool and she asks if we can get together again. I tell her that I'd love to (knowing I can't/won't), and I ask her to reach me back on Ashley Madison. She's sent me three messages since… and I answered the last one telling her that I realized after we parted that I couldn't cheat on my wife… just not how I'm made. She responded, telling me she understood and wished me well. Date #3: "Lisa" I found "Lisa" by searching through the profiles. She was an attractive brunette, 5'4", 39, 130lbs., two kids, residing in the Bay Area. After reading her profile (something I've been told many men don't do with online dating sites), I sent her an inbox message telling her that I really liked her snarky attitude, her bold statements, and her general approach to life (which I had read about in her writing). Her profile stated that she wasn't sure what she wanted from being a member of Ashley Madison, but she was clear that she wanted to chat with me. We took the chat off the site to Yahoo! Messenger, and within seconds it was clear that she wasn't after CyberLove … she was trying to feel me out. No overtly intrusive questions… just getting to know me a bit. We talked about books, sex, great places to travel, music, sex, movies, sex. After about 40 minutes of banter, I went in for the kill: "Want to grab a bite to eat this week?" I wrote, asking her to lunch. My convincer: "It's just lunch. ![]() ![]() We met the next day at Albona Restaurant in San Francisco's North Beach restaurant district. It was crowded, but she recognized me instantly from my profile picture, and I had already secured a table. We exchanged pleasantries, ordered a mid-day cocktail (I think I needed one), and began talking—me sprinkling in my interview questions throughout normal conversation. Over the next hour I played the part of the guy who was married, but just couldn't get into the humdrum of married life. I needed… something. She quickly agreed with me and then spouted answers as I took mental notes. I asked her why, with all the choices available to her, she had answered my email. Her answer: because of how I phrased things on my profile. Aside from the raw passion I had exhibited, she said I showed "thoughtfulness, intelligence, and a confidence" that came through in my writing… and I didn't send her a picture of my penis. At 39 with two young kids, she lamented that her marriage had grown cold, and her husband complacent. Her relationship was good in many ways—financially stable, secure, friendly—but it lacked ... and she stopped. I probed, "Passion?" and she almost leaped off her seat in agreement. She longed for spontaneity, the freshness that accompanies new relationships, and the effort that her husband had put in 10 years prior. Midway through the meal, I started flirting with her. The challenge: I couldn't get my wife out of my head. But as I continued, I found myself returning to the guy I was years before: focused on seduction, listening for clues to her wants and needs. We were now done with lunch, and I turned my attention to how far I could take her. As it turns out, she was the one who gave me the in by asking, "What do you find the most attractive about me?" This question is a pick-up artist's dream for a number of reasons. Firstly, it speaks to her not having been complimented often enough, as she was fishing, apparently insecure and looking for validation. Secondly, it shows that she wants to know where my head is at; what do I see first when I look at a woman, and how does that relate to her? And thirdly, it's an inviting question, in that she wouldn't have asked if she wasn't interested in me. So, her simple question tipped the scales in my favor. "You have a great walk," I told her. She looked at me like I was crazy. "No, really," I said. "You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she walks and her body language as a whole. Is she looking at the ground, unconfident, or is she standing tall, greeting the world? And, you have a swing when you walk," I added playfully. She was taken aback—as I knew she would be. A clever man might talk about a woman's intelligence being a turn-on, but most men don't usually talk about confidence in this fashion. I moved the conversation from confidence-building to sex, and she followed along, clearly digging where I was guiding things. She was very interested in how I saw her, hungry for the compliments and clearly longing for the passion I started putting out. She reversed the question on herself and then told me what she liked about me, and the conversation tumbled into her passionate thoughts, how I was making her feel: relaxed, free, feminine. At this point, I was in a dicey situation. I didn't want to sleep with her, but the challenge of having her commit to giving herself over was intoxicating. So, I kept pushing the limits and pouring it on, all the while hoping that my wife would understand the true motivations for my actions. Fifteen minutes later—an hour-and-a-half after we arrived at the restaurant—I made The Ask: was she interested in heading down the street to a nice hotel and experiencing what I have been describing? I told her I haven't prepared for this, but connections like this are rare, and that I'm having a hard time controlling myself. I didn't want to be so forward, but… and I stopped talking, letting my look fall to the floor. This gave her the illusion of being in control of the situation with a choice. A short pause and a coy smile from her told me instantly that she is absolutely hooked, and mine for the taking. She agreed to go to the hotel with a whisper, and leaned across the table to kiss me to seal the deal. And… I froze. My body language changed instantly, and I sat back from the table and put my hand up to stop her advance. "I can't." "What?" she laughed. "No, really. I can't do this." "What are you talking about?" she asked, with genuine confusion. With a sigh—and for the first time realizing that I didn't have an exit from this situation—I explained: "I'm working on a research project on adultery. This is a part of it. I'm sorry, but I can't cheat on my wife." I paused and she stared at me in disbelief. I had effectively brought her to the apex of her wanting, and now I was pulling the rug out from under her. "So, this was all bullshit?" she asked through her teeth, not wanting to cause a scene in the restaurant. I sat motionless, unsure of what to do when she made the decision for me. With a look that would level an army, she seethed out, "Bleep you, Cameron," and threw what was left of her martini at me. She turned and stormed out of the restaurant. My heart went out to her. It wasn't her fault. I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't tempted, but my wife, my honor, my word and my humanity are not worth it, no matter how attractive she might have been. After patting myself dry amidst slack-jawed looks from other diners, I left the restaurant and headed home. I was emotionally spent. |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by Nobody: 8:53pm On Aug 24, 2015 |
The Fight As I pulled into my little suburb-of-a-town, I arrived at a local coffee shop down the street from my house, and I called my wife to see if she would join me. She agreed, but when she arrived I knew something was wrong. My thoughts were confirmed when I greeted her. With a smile on my face and my arms out to embrace her, I was greeted with, "Don't even touch me, I can smell you from here. You smell like liquor and whores." Whoa! This was NOT what I planned on, and this isn't the way our open and honest relationship normally runs. She sat away from me, her arms folded in front of her, sipping her coffee and barely looking at me. I told her the story of what happened: the restaurant, the lunch, the flirting, the advance from Lisa, the cocktail. Her anger intensified. "That's bullshit, Charles. No one throws a drink on someone for nothing. What did you do? Just tell me. What did YOU DO?" For much of the afternoon, she fought with me. Given what my investigation was trying to uncover, and in light of my recent actions—even though they were "allowed" actions based on what we had discussed—I felt I had nothing to stand on. I tried to explain that I didn't do anything, but she wasn't buying it. After three hours of not speaking to me, it became clear what was really bothering her when she told me emphatically: "You know, Charles, it's amazing. I don't care about your 'date'. And for all I care, you could have slept with her. But tell me this: When was the last time you took time out of your day and took me to lunch for no reason?" A Revelation Her statement to me was an eye-opener, and in polling 250+ women in the days that followed, I reached an important understanding. When an adulterous man is found out, there are many, many women that can get past the sex act itself. But the real problem is where his effort has been going. As his wife sits idle, being supportive, holding down her half of the relationship, house, kids, etc., a cheating man will put boat loads of effort into seducing the other woman: four-star restaurants and hotels, gifts, laughter, spontaneity, passion, sex. From there, it's a sad realization for his wife that translates to "I'm not worth the effort." This is a fatal blow to her self-esteem and self-worth, and terminal to the relationship. My wife and I got past it, but I had to relent to the fact that I hadn't done those things for her recently… and it wasn't purposeful, it was a mirror into my own accidental complacently (and I'm supposed to be an expert!!!). It's not that I take her for granted. But in acting like a cheater, I had fallen into my own trap. Accidentally? Perhaps, but does it matter? Isn't the end result the same? With all my experience and expertise, I keep learning. Reflection Contemplating all of my experiences with the women of Ashley Madison—chat sessions and in-person dates—several things became painfully clear. First, there isn't one "type" of woman looking to cheat online. Some were looking to have sex, period. Others were looking to subsidize their current relationship with a human connection… and if it led to sex, even better. But all were clear that they were not leaving their current relationship. These weren't monkeys getting a grip on the next branch before letting go of the first. They just wanted to feel what they used to feel from the man in their life. The most common complaint was a lack of passion and effort by the man in their current relationship. It makes sense. When a man begins dating a woman, he puts in tons of effort; he woos her. Once she's "his," he stops putting in that effort, but she still longs for it. She wants to be desired, seduced, and connected with on a regular basis. So many men seem to be missing the boat. They start strong, having a decent sense of how to capture a woman at the beginning, but upon entering a relationship they are unprepared for the long haul and investment a successful relationship demands past the dating phase. The situation starts to reek of complacency and satisfaction in mediocrity. Should the women of Ashley Madison leave their current relationships before starting a new one? Yes… but the sad truth is that these women weren't looking to start a new relationship. I got the distinct impression that they were filling their needs outside their relationships until such time that he noticed he was disconnected, it became unbearable, or it ended on its own. And until then, they were willing to settle for a half-marriage with a side of passion. I still feel that cheating is the wrong thing to do… but this is the grey area I didn't see before. To the men thinking of getting married: being married isn't like dating. Marriage doesn't take "work" per se, but it does require concerted effort and investment in each other, and in you. If you aren't into it, don't do it, as you will be setting yourself up for failure—perhaps finding your wife on Ashley Madison. Or worse, out with a guy like I used to be, enjoying passion because you stopped bringing it. Men in established relationships and marriage need to remember that women are women first and foremost… and wives and mothers second. If a man stops bringing passion and effort to his relationship and stops treating her as a desired woman, he shouldn't be surprised when she feels forced to fill her needs elsewhere. http://www.yourtango.com/experts/charles-j-orlando/why-women-cheat-married-man-goes-undercover-ashley-madison N/B: I felt I should share this on the family section because I wanted this to be an exposé to married men. They should strive not to let the passion in their marriages die out! I am not in support of cheating or adultery in whatever circumstance, as I believe cheating is a choice. But it would better for husbands to make it difficult for their wives to cheat on them. Maybe we could get a research on why married men cheat. ![]() 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by Specialiste(m): 9:03pm On Aug 24, 2015 |
.. |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by MARKone(m): 9:40pm On Aug 24, 2015 |
This one na season film, Op, you for bea ya nke nke. |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by kollyp2000(m): 9:48pm On Aug 24, 2015 |
Good exposé |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by dBard: 3:50am On Aug 25, 2015 |
Women are Women first and wives and mothers second is a phrase every man should keep in mind, But... In reading the article, I can't help but feel disgusted at the selfishness of the women in question. A married man's priority tends t change once a family starts. He most times tends t focus on making sure he has enough t meet d needs, thus leading to more career motivation, more diversification@work etc. The question is if this is necessarily a bad thing? No. If women werent too selfish, they would recognize that the passion they so crave is still there, same intensity,just that the 'color' has changed. A man mite not buy flowers n chocolates anymore, but he still makes sure every need of the wife is taken care of, that in itself is Romance. On d flip too, same can be said that the effort bin put in by d women in searching f dat slippery spark could have best bin put in t strengthening that connection they so crave Relationship is dynamic and it's best wen both parties recognize that. Finally, guys sha. Take time off often t re razzle ur wives t avoid stories that touch. Peace ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by Nobody: 5:34am On Aug 25, 2015 |
dBard: You just finish work with this comment! That's why I said infidelity is a choice. We always have a choice to stay faithful. Good points! |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by cococandy(f): 6:57am On Aug 25, 2015 |
So you couldn't sumarize this? Well I know why they cheat. Because single guys won't stop tempting them and you know variety is the spice of life. ![]() 6 Likes |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by Pidggin(f): 7:54am On Aug 25, 2015 |
Rich and comfortàble women cheat mainly for emotional or sexual reasons Poorer women cheat màinly for financial or sexual reasons. 4 Likes |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by Nitefury: 8:24am On Aug 25, 2015 |
dBard: This has always been my thought on most cheating wives. They all accept the man is out there working his backside out to provide theirs and the children's needs (and wants) so they can be comfortable, hence they cannot leave the marriage. But at the same time they still want him treating them like they were in a courtship period buying flowers, fancy dinners, beach walks etc. From the investigation, you'll even see that most of the ladies in question have been on the site for sometime and he wasn't their first. The question now is, why did they stop seeing the first or second person they met on the site?. It's either because they got used to him and got tired or decided to still look for another partner because they get away with it, while still enjoying the sweats of their husbands working by staying married. See the lady who even said her husband had no time for cheating. I keep saying it, cheating remains a choice people make. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by Arsenate(m): 8:40am On Aug 25, 2015 |
no point bothering yourself about something you have no control over. anyone that wants their orifice to be pounded should be allowed...anyone that wants to insert their cucumber in any available hole should also be allowed. no need reading an epistle over something I have no control over. no time to waste time... ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by Nitefury: 8:41am On Aug 25, 2015 |
Pidggin: They're comfortable because their husbands are sweating it out there to make it possible. The least they can do is show some respect and appreciation by closing their legs. If women want romance, fancy dinners, flowers sent to their offices, vacations every month etc, for the rest of their lives then they can afford not to get married by staying single in the dating zone where these things are not in short supply. You can't be married and expect to be treated like a single lady still dating. Because the irony of it is that, women would still use the husband's inability to provide her financial and material needs to cheat on him @ second embolden. What happens to meeting your spouse halfway? 3 Likes |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by Chidoks(f): 10:15am On Aug 25, 2015 |
Nitefury: I don't support cheating in marriage o but the truth is that most men chane after marriage especially after two or three children.yes i know that there are bills to be paid, higher goals, aspirations and all but if a man there is no harm in planning fun / romantic moments every once in a while .men can be so engrossed in work and most times when they want to unwind, they prefer their fellow guys or one random runs girl.it's annoying that your husband cannot take you out on a date but hangs out every other evening yet he claims to be very busy. you wooed her with flowers, she loves flowerz that was why she followed you.now that you got her you suddenly stop sending flowers check am baw.t that does not mean that cheating is right o but nen should learn to balance the equation there is nothing as wonderful as holding hands in the public with your husband, steal kisses and flirt with him in the public.it is stimulating as well as healing 2 Likes |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by Nobody: 10:37am On Aug 25, 2015 |
Male folks take note. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by Mutaino7(m): 11:40am On Aug 25, 2015 |
[color=#006600][/color]an eye opener indeed. |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by bukatyne(f): 1:32pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
The OP is very nice... It is even ironic how it opened his eyes to the deflects in his own marriage and the guy is a G! When I read a mistress is a side chic to a husband and he will always come back to his wife/family, I laugh in Japanese. The side chic gets the best of the husband every single time without having to invest much. @A husband works hard to provide... can we all stop the bullocks please? I say it everyday; except the man works on his own, I have NOT seen any paid employment that divides responsibilities across gender lines. What is expected of a female accountant is also expected of the male accountant etc. The female accountant is excepted to go home and care for the home... the male accountant gives the stupid excuse that he is 'working' that's why he can't make out time for his family... rich. I am sure no man will find the excuse funny that his wife cannot 'cook' etc. because she is 'busy' or she cannot attend to him because she is nursing their baby ![]() Wives can also take home the fact that they do not need to stop flirting and those games because they are involved in cleaning/working/nursing the kids. The myth that when wives/women cheat emotions are involved bla bla is blown out of the water ![]() ![]() AND yes, I will never support adultery for any reason. Once again, good one at the OP. Perhaps a woman can find out why men cheat doing something similar. 5 Likes |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by bukatyne(f): 1:33pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Chidoks: @bold, On point. |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by freecocoa(f): 1:44pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Too long jor. People cheat because they want to cheat, can/do changes happen in marriages/relationships? Yes ofcourse they do but nothing justifies cheating, period. |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by armyofone(m): 1:56pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
America, America God shed His light on thee...humming Don't you just love our America, the do and undoing land. Lift you up and then free fall ![]() Life is short, have an affair huh lol expensive affair too. 900 dollars for membership ![]() ![]() Wondering how many Nigerians are using that site... Ashley Madison, such cute name by the way. |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by cococandy(f): 2:09pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
I'm not shooting your other points but in your own real life, only men make money? Abi this is another nairaland fallacy that has become fact? Just pointing out this in bolded. Pls stop the misinformation. The rest you can continue. Nitefury: 3 Likes |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by Nitefury: 6:41pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
cococandy: The answer is no @ emboldened But my question is why stay in the relationship/marriage? You read the part where he suggested to one of the ladies they both leave their partners and be together but she started making excuses. Since it's a boring marriage, no flare, no romance, no fancy dates et al, why don't they just leave? At least they have their own money. But no, they'll rather stay and enjoy the pecks of being married to the man while also cheating on him. Funny thing is, the find out the man is cheating, these same women wouldn't hesitate to wreck him with alimony. Like someone said earlier, it's just selfishness that make them cheat. 1 Like |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by armyofone(m): 8:14pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Nitefury:I think it is because of the children involved. Many people want to eat their cake and have it. It is just as good that women today are doing the same thing men have been doing in the past, thanks to sites like AM. 3 Likes |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by Nitefury: 8:41pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
armyofone: Agreed women are more discreet with affairs than men, but what happens to the children they're trying to protect when they are caught? Like you said eating their cake and having it= Selfishness I talked about. They don't have the children's welfare at heart. Satisfying their personal want is what its all about. |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by RAKITIC: 11:39pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
There is no excuse for cheating if you are tired of marriage, divorce and move on. |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by cecegorz(m): 8:50am On Sep 03, 2015 |
vfactor: Lovely piece bro. Thanks for sharing. The bold statement is the key to unlocking how to keep your woman glued on you at all times. Every woman needs that attention no matter the age, and husbands should try to keep up. Same goes for the woman, stay attractive to your man, don't retire to tying wrapper across your chest as mama Junior 2 Likes |
Re: Why (married) Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison by Nobody: 10:47am On Sep 03, 2015 |
vfactor: I couldn't help but go thru this piece again. And the bolded got me thinking. Does it mean that women can't choose to be faithful, especially when conditions are not the way they used to be? I ask this cos there are cases were a guy takes a girl clubbing and she ends up with another guy because the guy who took her clubbing isn't 'fun'. Where's loyalty! |
(1) (Reply)
Ladies When Did You Stop Greeting Your Husbands "Good Morning" In This Posture? / Man Fights 2 Policemen At The Airport After Cops Push His Wife Down(video) / My Fear Of Delivery
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 143 |