On a lighter note i think you should keep your child with a father or without. You may give birth to the next obama!(or obawoma if its female!)

Abortion is not an option. This Nigerian mugu you are talking about is not man enough. He can pregnate some one but not man enough to take responsibility, that's bullshit. Assuming there was some kind of smartness in him he could have used protection or something. Make sure he gets ready for child support or lock his ass up in jail. The child have a right to be taken good care of.

Poster!! confront him with this thread and hear what he has to say. don't be surprised though!!

Just take care of your child. he will grow and become some one great one day and you will fill pride you did not abort him.

Trust me, he will be great!!!!

@ Gemmie, Take it from you can do it without him and you will be better for it. I wish I had done it alone.
I met my nigerian huband in UK, we planned marriage and a baby, at first he was wonderful. Eventually he bacame a tyrant and abusive. All had to be done his way, by his standards, his nigerian ways, which I didn't mind until he wanted everything his way or no way.

I wish I hadn't married him and was a single mum without him criticising all I do. I love his family and will keep in touch with them, but don't want him-but its hard to live a life now without him.

Try and get contact with his family, if they good nigerians they will not ignore your child, but leave him be. A real man does not do what he did

I'll come out straight here - back to the genesis.
why would 2 adults have sex without protection if they did not want a baby?
why didn't you use an oral contraception immediately after the act?
did he want the baby in the first place?
We cannot blame the guy too much for the pregnancy. You wanted the pregnancy. He did not.
Yeah, the guy is obviously lying about being disowned and banished from his village. For all we care, he could be lying about being married as well.

You cannot trust the guy now because he is obviously lying. He cannot trust you either because you went ahead to get pregnant for him without his consent. So, though it is irresponsible for a guy not to care for his baby, it's also naive that you expect him to accept responsibility for a decision he never made.

Take care of the baby. Try your best to keep in touch with the father. I have a feeling he will accept the baby eventually. Then you can start thinking of contacting his family etc. But if you go ahead now to contact his family, it's like you are trying to get back to him and report him to them etc. There are better ways of going about it.

Last Word - you are as much to blame and as he is. It's not fair for everyone to see him as the only guilty party here. We just need to be sincere about this. Best of luck.

good post

bridget007:

@ Gemmie, Take it from you can do it without him and you will be better for it. I wish I had done it alone.
I met my nigerian huband in UK, we planned marriage and a baby, at first he was wonderful. Eventually he bacame a tyrant and abusive. All had to be done his way, by his standards, his nigerian ways, which I didn't mind until he wanted everything his way or no way.
I wish I hadn't married him and was a single mum without him criticising all I do. I love his family and will keep in touch with them, but don't want him-but its hard to live a life now without him.

Try and get contact with his family, if they good nigerians they will not ignore your child, but leave him be. A real man does not do what he did

The lesson is there for others wanting to take the plunge. The signs are always there from the start but you ignore those signs because you believe that your love will see you through it and when you think you are in love, you dont mind doing anything for the other person. Marriage throws a different perspective into it - and thats where maturity comes into play and you'll also know if you made the right or wrong decisions along the line.

The guy is probably better of without her as well as she may be better off without him because they have both showed a lack of ability to make sound judgements.

this thread is old but m saying this for people (like those in this woman's shoe)that find their self in this situation tomorrow and choose to keep the baby.

1 hope you have a clear picture of the man
2 hope u know his surname, first name, what tribe he is from and where he lived in nigeria or where his parents reside
3 what he is doing in the foreign country, i.e is he a student (know the course of study)or working(know where he worked or works)
4 are you in touch with any family member? or someone that has link to him e.g brother,sister, aunty or even parents

if no 4 does not work out dont worry. when your child is old enough and wants to know his father. let him get on a plane to nigeria. straight to NTA, AIT or wateva new channel is recieved nationally. armed with all the relevant information.
cross your leg and watch the number of relations and people that know him will come running at ur door. lol

Many Nigerians in foreign countries conveniently forget they are married until such time that it becomes helpful to tell.   He was a free and single man until he finds he may have to be a father then suddenly he is married sorry get rid of it.  Well I have met many Nigerian men in Europe who pretended they were foot loose and fancy free.  Their wives sit back in Nigeria waiting for the money to come home and turn a blind eye to the behaviour of their husbands.  These men sometime have village wives who they are not legally married to as we would call it and so the say I had a girlfriend but she was cheating on me when I travel.  She is a shouter and humiliates me.  She is dirty and doesn't cook like my mama. 
Well never fall for this man he will live with you and then give you a baby then soon you are just the same as the village wife get this, do that, wash this, what is the matter with you? blar blar blar.  They behave like small naughty boys and cant understand why you wont just sit around while they abuse you.  Fools.


I wish you well caring for your baby.  No family will ever disown your baby in Nigeria but then if it is a girl they will try and sneak her to circumcise her. Beware that the aged ways of the villages don't cause your child to suffer.

Love your child but guard your heart and give love to the child.  Let the man work his own life out.

Poster!
Dat sucker is not married He is just one of those hustlers,he is not representing a true Nigerian Man Figure.
I won't blame you because u probably taught u were in Love like most ladies it happen all the time.Don't pay any attention to those cock suckers blaming you for your action,if he does not want a child he shouldn't have busted a nut in u in the first place.he took advantage of your situation as a lady who is independent,smart and has thins going on good but the problem I have is from the content of yur post u sound like u have some feelings for him which is not bad but know that the future of yur baby rest in yur hands it does not matter if he accepts the fact dat the child came from him or not or u trying to make d baby know his roots they ar so many ppl in our society who don't know who their parent are but today they are doing well,they may not be popular or famous but they ar responsible ppl in the society.Just accept yur faith and take care of the little sweet pea.He or she will become a better person than the Dad.
This is a new era where women should learn to stand up tall and be who they want to be not what the society want them to be like this dude who just used you for what he can get.
Move on with your life when yur baby become an adult he or she will take care of that at the right time.
Good luck to U.

Big deal.
Would you come and post this, if the pregnant woman was nigerian.
The white lady just dont mind poly,

Another mugu falls. . .

JustGood:

Another mugu falls. . .

lol

kayusa:

I won't blame you because u probably taught u were in Love like most ladies it happen all the time.

oh please that's no excuse

Oh dear,

@ Gemmie

I don't really know what to say. Love can make you blind. I am sure you felt that he was the one. Unfortunately, you got pregnant before marrying. I understand it is a very common thing these days. I am glad you will be able to take care of you and the baby. Thank goodness you had your education.
However, I see your problem. What will you tell the baby later who his father is. I think it is unfair to ignore that his biological father is Nigerian. I feel it is completely unfair for the baby not having a chance to know his real dad. On the other side , however, if the father wants nothing to do with the baby then you can;'t make him.
I'm so sorry this happened to you it's a burden for sure but also a blessing in disguise as you will have a child.
I wish you all the best and please be strong and take care,