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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month (66985 Views)
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I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by Squig(f): 3:46pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
Did you have doubts about your spouse before your wedding? Did you meet someone amazing and you wanted him but decided to go ahead and marry your spouse? How do you feel about the marriage now? Do you feel you did the right thing? I'm in my mid 20s and I'm getting married next month, we've been together for almost 5years. He is the love of my life and I've never doubted my love for him or the fact that I wanted a family with him. He's got everything I want in a man. The problem is we started having issues about 6 months ago, we stopped talking like before and we are completely disconnected now especially on my end but we're still going ahead with the marriage plan and I still want to marry him. I met another guy I am really attracted to and we've been talking about a lot. He knows I am having issues with my man and I can't tell him we are planning to get married. I'm having doubts about my man now, I'm confused, I feel I'll be happier with this new guy, I'm thinking it's lust but it's getting more complicated. Should I go on with the wedding? Feel free to talk sense into my head, I need to hear hard truths. 43 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by SeverusSnape(m): 3:50pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
Oh Lawd!... Girls of nowadays. ![]() First of all, I'm not married, Nor am I a marriage counsellor. But I'll tell you something. If you know what's good for you, Go ahead with your wedding, for goodness sake, You've been with your man for five years, five solid years; So because one nonentity came around you want to change your mind. ![]() I know, this new guy has more money??... Offers better sex ![]() Oh please! 556 Likes 41 Shares |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by MrPeterson(m): 3:56pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
I think you are the problem here . You,ve been with him for 5years , planning to marry yet you are busy giving someone else ur attention. You want to change ur mind cos u met someone else ? Maybe just for 2month . Hmm i guess he is richer than ur suppose husband to be . You might be at d losing end if care is not taken . Oko won lo de 267 Likes 13 Shares
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Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by vizkiz: 3:57pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
you see what I keep saying? "Hoes everywhere" ![]() 406 Likes 26 Shares |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by Mariecakes(f): 3:59pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
Little doubts days, weeks or a month b4 wedding is quite normal... but big doubts, disconnection and less communication is not normal..you might have all these because of the new guy you just met...talk to your Old guy, try figure where things went wrong, he just might feel the same way as you do n it will be easier to end it now....or you can Find out what happened n fix it 111 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by 5minsmadness: 4:03pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
If you were religious I'd say you should pray. You didn't have any issues with your man until the wedding date started drawing close. All of a sudden you are having communication or whatever issues and a charming young man(snake) comes into your life. A legend I read about a long time ago tells of how a person's good fortune is always put to the test at the last minute just to see if you are indeed worthy of such fortune. If you pass the test u live happily ever after. If u fail, u regret it for the rest of your life. Choose wisely. 360 Likes 23 Shares |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by thorpido(m): 4:05pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
Squig:It's just a feeling.Feelings are never good enough. You're allowing yourself to get distracted.focus on your fiance and sort out whatever issues you have with him. 94 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by haabimbohlar(f): 4:17pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
Babes you are disconnected because you give the new guy all your attention, remember how you felt with your husband to be when the love was still fresh, my dear don't just make the mistake of putting an end to your marriage rather try rekindle the love between you and your husband. Bless u 67 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by Tashaamania(f): 4:18pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
SeverusSnape: The nonentity might turn out to be Mr. right. I'm just saying.. She shouldn't ignore any signs. Staying with someone for five years isn't a guarantee just as knowing someone couple of months back isn't. Anyone can pretend for any length of time. OP weigh both options. if need be, take time off the wedding planning, postpone and figure out what you really want. Marriage no be beans especially when you're going into it with doubts, that's alot of pending trouble. 89 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by funlord(m): 4:21pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
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Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by Amhappy(f): 4:28pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
If you can keep away emotion for a while my advice will be as follows Retreat: Stop talking to your new found love for a while,form busy. This will help the wine to clear for some time. Pray: Talk to God about this Dream: Paint your dream man and put down the qualities you need in a man. Grade: Pick a pen and paper and write the names of these men. Grade them on these qualities and score. Keep away sentiments ooo Discuss: Share with another person, an older married woman preferably. NB: This second man is yet to proposed so do not conclude that he wants to marry you. What is causing the communication barrier between you and your first man? 50 Likes |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by Pidggin(f): 4:40pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
vizkiz: Are u a farmer? 211 Likes 11 Shares |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by Rukkydelta(f): 4:41pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
So you mean you were not sure of your husband to be after 5 years When you notice that the communication was breaking off what do you do about it? Sis that new guy is just a temptation to you Don't make a rash decision that you'll regret later I'll suggest you cut off any sort of communication with this new guy and please take your situation to God in prayers 17 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by vizkiz: 5:03pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
49 Likes |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by 2goodbobo(m): 5:04pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
You are distracted by the other guy that is why. Hence, the reason why anything your boyfriend does, do not excite you anymore. What happens if you refuse to marry your boyfriend and go on with the new guy then after another five years you become tired of him? will you dump him and go for another? between what makes you feel he is better than your boyfriend? The devil you know is better than the angel you don't. Slap yourself out of that illusion you are having else you might end up having an egg on your face with this new guy. 32 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by ahnie: 5:28pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
Following |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by austine4real(m): 5:32pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
Dem dey do u oo
pls giv me ur fiance num let me konnect him wt anoda babe 36 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by Nobody: 5:39pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
Wow. For u to even consider another man I think u shld cancel d wedding cos your fiance deserves a better woman. No offense but it's d plain truth. 343 Likes 31 Shares |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by cococandy(f): 5:43pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
Cold feet before a wedding is normal as it is a big nay huge and permanent life decision. You wonder if this decision will be worth it. So yes doubts are okay. But if you can't pinpoint any particular thing wrong with the guy, then you don't really have any problems. Nobody is ever 100percent sure until they start living day to day with the person. As for the new guy, pls don't make any decisions because of him. I have zero trust for anyone who would go out with someone that's already in a committed relationship. If you leave your man for him, he won't trust you not to leave him for someone else. 224 Likes 20 Shares |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by Chidoks(f): 5:46pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
Tashaamania:hmnnn...op is excited about mr nice guy whom she does not really know..mr nice guy may even be the cause of her doubts.granted there is always this premonition of the future when planning for marriage but one must think it out with clear head.there are always distractions in every step of progress so the best thing is to shake off these distractions. but if you suggest she postpones the wedding, then she must date mr nice guy for 5 yrs in order to assertain if those doubts are real or not.it's after dating mr nice guy for 5 yrs that she is qualified to make any manner of comparism. 23 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by An2elect2(f): 6:02pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
Methinks you are not ready for marriage yet. Give it more time madam 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by soonest(f): 6:15pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
Is the wedding card out? Can't you postpone this wedding for like a month and search your heart seriously. Have you made efforts to bridge the communication gap between you and your fiance? How does he feel about the distance between you two? 5yrs is a long time and you would have known most of his strengths and weaknesses but same can't be said of the new guy. Remember a new relationship is always exciting, but in all, better a broken relationship than a broken marriage. Search your heart and pray. All the best 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by GodnGold: 6:20pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
Tashaamania:I like that you sounded like a villain (villainess),not in a bad way though.Trying to be at odds with the "groom".Sisi op,what are the issues between you and "to be groom"? 1 Like |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by freecocoa(f): 6:21pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
I don't know why everyone is acting like there's no problem, OP there's a big problem and it's you, you are cheating while still planning to get married, you better just leave the young man you want to marry alone and sort yourself out, I wish he'd catch you, mschew. 265 Likes 33 Shares |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by Nobody: 6:55pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
5 years? I really don't know what to say. 4 Likes |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by dad007(m): 7:14pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
Squig:Please,I beg you,dont marry that fiancé of yours,leave him for this new guy.Yes! because you dont love him anymore and for this reason,you are going to make life a living hell for him if both of you become husband and wife.In every marriage,there are problems,and one of it,is communication.It always resolve and more experience achieved.So please,it has got nothing to do with communication but you and that nikopu{new guy} I wish you the best 16 Likes |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by Nobody: 7:19pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
You're planning your wedding and you're cheating? So horrible. . I really pity your fiancé. Why don't you break up with him instead of cheating? Which may even continue after marriage.... Then, don't be so sure of the second guy because you just met him and it's normal to be so lovey-dovey, with time your eyes may clear or not..... All d best in your decision. ... Just be careful cos it's a life decision. .. 51 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by TooNoisy(f): 7:39pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
Let's just say you are cheating a month to your wedding. Please cancel it, you don't deserve that guy! You deserve someone that will treat you like trash! 121 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by gwas(m): 7:46pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
Op, that new guy he's a player, that's why he swept you off your feet. Don't worry, he will soon terminate your contract. 96 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by pretydiva(f): 7:48pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
What makes u feel dat d guy u just met now is d man 4 u ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by wisdomiskey(m): 8:09pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
8 Likes |
Re: I'm Having Doubts About Getting Married Next Month by GHoJes: 8:30pm On Sep 01, 2015 |
Squig:If this your story is true, dont let what have been said thus far make you feel so bad to the point of hidding, come out and clarify things more to enable us decipher whether it is lust or not. Btw, if you are told here not to go ahead will you really cancel the next month wedding? Although i'm seeing lust but i dont want to dismiss your feelings easily. When did you meet the new guy? Is the new guy also attracted to you? What is it about this guy that makes you feel you will be happier with him? Did you feel the way you feel for the new guy? What are the issues you said you are having with your fiancee? Answer with all honesty as you really have nothing to lose. 9 Likes 1 Share |
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