A friend of mine lost his job last year.
He used to work in one of the top FG firms in the Nigeria with attractive pay packages but sometime last year, it all ended. He lost his job and was left with his severance pay/benefits. Initially, things were a bit rosy but after a while, he lost his "bread winner" status.
No work! No business!! No money!!!.. The business he started running (invested most of his severance benefit in it) wasn't generating significant income.

Well, few days ago we had some "man time" over a couple of beer. He opened up to me and i realized that his wife of over 10 years has been making things very difficult for him. His hitherto supportive wife has turned to a "naggart".....
The most painful part for him was that his wife turned down the loan request he made of her even though she had it - anyway, she was saving it for the children's school fees.....

Well, this got me thinking.
Why would a woman that has lived with you and "loved" you for over 10 years with little or no issues suddenly turn a naggart overnight due to circumstances beyond your control?
I understand that the stress on the woman is higher and maybe she wasn't ready for such but i would like to get the opinions of folks here...

This still boils down to having multiples streams of income.
When the going is good, please save and grow other income sources!

It takes a lot to be the Breadwinner in a Family.

Once, you lose that status, even if you have the most loving and understanding wife in the world, things will never be the same again until you stand on your feet again.

Some men are generally lazy, and it takes a nagging wife like this one to make them put more effort in getting their live's together, instead of sitting at home and making excuses about life after they lose their Jobs.

Truth is, everybody loses respect for you the day you stop doing the things a man is suppose to do.

The other day, i was reading the story of Godwin Anabor and i just smiled. He was a Billionaire is a PAST TENSE, and that is why his wife took the kids and left him.

Your friend is lucky that the wife nags only. I use to know one man while growing up who was a Pilot in the Nigeria Airways, and after it folded up for years he could not get any Job. The Wife's boyfriends use to drop her in front of the Compound, and he dare not say anything.

my brother i dont blame the woman..women can only endure for a while.if a man don loose his status his wife go change o..had it been that she asnt tasted wealth thats another thing,but she don see enjoyment its hard for a woman to endure with you..at first she might try endure for some months but if she no see improvement she go turn to a nagging wife and later move out.dats why hausa pep go say KUDI YAZO MATA YAZO (it means if u get money wife go come but if money finish wife go run o kai mata banza).tell your friend to be prayerful so that God can change his status from being poor to rich,thats all i can say o..if u see a woman fighting other women not to come into her mans life or u see a woman always respecting her husband its all because he has money to take care of all the responsibilities in the house..once things change for the man,he looses his respect o..if the wife they call am daddy shola before she changes it to the mans name gangan as time goes on she go start to dey call the man ogbeni..this means things don go worst be that o...

[size=18pt]SANTOMA[/size] in the building

Money finish... woman go

Today women Ajakirija dem b..

Most jst get into marriage cous dey saw u where sailing somewhere buh wiv storms like this u know them..

D dude should jst take it as a challenge to rise asap..

Nature taking its course and toll on human beings.
He will get a better job.

Well I think I understand where the woman is coming from. Not all women can handle leadership role or that of a "bread winner" while the husband is present in the home. You ll be lucky to have a calm, loving and understanding wife with you when things are not rosy.

But the pressure is much on her and so on. She seems frustrated, angered, and pride may eventually set in. But he shudnt look at his wife as a bad woman but rather talk things out with her. Even if she cant see it, he shud make her understand that he is trying his best and things will be back to normal in no time, let him tell her how much he needs her support now without much nag.

Things will get back to normal soon with her, except she married him for his money

The reason is simple, She has changed 'Change Is the only Constant thing'

#Listenin to bob marley-no woman no cry


Dude...keep calm nd hustle HARD!!!!


1 problem with all dis ppl workin in big places with attractive salaries...dey feel dey'll be rich 4eva...dey tink dey won't be sacked...dey dnt tink both sides...dey only tink straight....well....it is well


Take hrt OP friend
#sips coconut water

Its obvious she married his money instead of him..well let him try his best to get her love(money) back.

Women she signed for Better or Worse! She enjoyed for Better for 10years now it's for Worse she don de Passmaga

that is why i keep telling me.



invest in ur sisters, btothers and parents. they will neva turn you down when things go bad unless he or she is a bad and ungrateful siblings.


but what do we see these days......men spending all their cash on their girlfriends while they seldomly give cash to their sisters or brothers at home.


wives or girlfriends will change when u lost ur jobs or have no money.



be wise

mencade4:
that is why i keep telling me.



invest in ur sisters, btothers and parents. they will neva turn you down when things go bad unless he or she is a bad and ungrateful siblings.


but what do we see these days......men spending all their cash on their girlfriends while they seldomly give cash to their sisters or brothers at home.


wives or girlfriends will change when u lost ur jobs or have no money.



be wise

Nice one there bro. Very sensible thought. It might even be good to invest on trusted friends as well rather than wives and girlfriends. Women! Women!! Women!!!

That's woman for you my brother. Many of them are fair weather companions.

So, what pained your friend the most was that his wife did not loan him the money meant for the children's school fees? The man needs Jesus.
The wife is trying her best to step up and take over their joint responsibilities as parents to their children and he's annoyed about it because.......??
The long mtchewww my husband would give me if I asked him to borrow me the kids schools fees is not for here o.
I wonder how some people think sha.

eyinjuege:
So, what pained your friend the most was that his wife did not loan him the money meant for the children's school fees? The man needs Jesus.
The wife is trying her best to step up and take over their joint responsibilities as parents to their children and he's annoyed about it because.......??
The long mtchewww my husband would give me if I asked him to borrow me the kids schools fees is not for here o.
I wonder how some people think sha.

well, what i could deduce was that my friend didn't feel like his wife was being supportive enough!!

Somebdy will tell me he will choose his wife over his brother as next of kin..........Women and Money!!!

RedBenson:


Nice one there bro. Very sensible thought. It might even be good to invest on trusted friends as well rather than wives and girlfriends. Women! Women!! Women!!!

Stop the generalisation already

Every one nags when ever they're uncomfortable, I once had a nagging friend male oh, take away comfort from all the family's you meet smiling and replace it with stress and suffering if the story line won't change, they're are thousands and one women that supports their partners when things ain't rosy just one doesn't give the women folks a bad tag, my mum is a typical example of a supportive wife.

Don't judge nor crucify her till you hear the woman's version of the story.

Aitee1:


Stop the generalisation already

Every one nags when ever they're uncomfortable, I once had a nagging friend male oh, take away comfort from all the family's you meet smiling and replace it with stress and suffering if the story line won't change, they're are thousands and one women that supports their partners when things ain't rosy just one doesn't give the women folks a bad tag, my mum is a typical example of a supportive wife.

Don't judge nor crucify her till you hear the woman's version of the story.

i like the fact that your mom has the quality of a complete woman.
God bless her!

cyprus000:
[size=13pt]
Adverse effect of men who marry women that claim they can't date broke dudes.

Its not about having the money and flashing it to attract women and friends.

Its a about having an ally,a sincere woman and true friends.

I have told dudes to always invest on their family,cos when things go awry. They gat your back.

Prepare for the worst from any woman,but pray for the best.
[/size]

your post is filled with wisdom and i have once made the mistake of spending extravagantly on girls.
I have since worked on myself and nowadays, i only spend when i am getting returns on investment!!

Ps. the wife of my friend is not materialistic.
When they married, he wasn't so rich but he was a thriving young man with potential.
He wasnt broke, but he wasnt rich either....
then he made alot of money and lost it all!!>...

Hmmmmm...

.

This topic is scary men...some guys wey dey plan to marry self go suspend am.

magicminister:


well, what i could deduce was that my friend didn't feel like his wife was being supportive enough!!

Him feeling that she's not supportive and the reality on ground are two different things. It's a cold cold world out there. Since he lost his job, who has been keeping the home front? Who has been feeding everybody? Who has been paying the children's fees?, who has been paying the house rent? What of utility bills? In the Naija of today, the money spent on children is not a joke and they should always come first. The school fees in a term of a 3year old in a standard school these days is more than all the fees I paid throughout my days in sec school and university combined!!!
Has your friend really thought about it that the wife may not really have the financial capability to do anything extra than the basics?
Yes, she needs to encourage him with kind words, they should even brainstorm available options for the husband to find his feet but he shouldn't get angry with her when she doesn't give him loans because she may not be able to afford it.
It's just like a housewife getting angry with her hubby who's providing all for the family because he didn't set up a business for her. Does she want to kill him? He may simply not be able to afford it!!
No wife/husband in their right minds will keep something good from their other half if they have it in hand unless they had underlying issues before.

Aitee1:


Stop the generalisation already

Every one nags when ever they're uncomfortable, I once had a nagging friend male oh, take away comfort from all the family's you meet smiling and replace it with stress and suffering if the story line won't change, they're are thousands and one women that supports their partners when things ain't rosy just one doesn't give the women folks a bad tag, my mum is a typical example of a supportive wife.

Don't judge nor crucify her till you hear the woman's version of the story.

Story story, story!!!

Women! Women!! Women!!!

Make una change una ways o. Woman would just act as if she is overly in love with a guy just cos money is flowing, the moment things take the other way, hmmmmm.

eyinjuege:
So, what pained your friend the most was that his wife did not loan him the money meant for the children's school fees? The man needs Jesus.
The wife is trying her best to step up and take over their joint responsibilities as parents to their children and he's annoyed about it because.......??
The long mtchewww my husband would give me if I asked him to borrow me the kids schools fees is not for here o.
I wonder how some people think sha.

Have you thought of investing the so called "children school fees" aimed at generating more income large enough to take care of both the said children school fees, put food on table, take care of other things and make him stand again on ground as a man?

Why are women always one sided in consideration? You are obviously one woman who would nag alot if her husband loses his means of livelihood.

chaiii some women though..

The mjor problem is that she now nags over little things.... she complains, screams and I have actually witnessed one of her feats.
I know is not easy but an understanding woman should know that men need more encouragement in their low point. Nagging just makes things worse.

RedBenson:


Have you thought of investing the so called "children school fees" aimed at generating more income large enough to take care of both the said children school fees, put food on table, take care of other things and make him stand again on ground as a man?

Why are women always one sided in consideration? You are obviously one woman who would nag alot if her husband loses his means of livelihood.

To bad that you feel sending your children to school is not an investment.

eyinjuege:


To bad that you feel sending your children to school is not an investment.

So what would guarantee the children investment in school? Is it not when the parents/guardians have source of income?