Q: Why do our provincial capitals have so many one-way streets?
A: So that all the civil servants coming in late won't collide with those going home early!

Q: Why wasn't Rome built in a day?
A: Because it was a goverment job.

Q: What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
A: I don't know and I don't care!

Q: How did they catch the guy who tried to hijack of the bus full of Japanese tourists?
A: Easy, the police had 3000 pictures of the suspect

Q: Waiter, this steak is rare,didn't you hear me say 'well done'?
A: Oh,thank you,sir! Believe me, compliments are even rarer here!

Q: Can you describe your assilant?
A: Sure, that is what I was doing when he hit me!

nice try

Wife phones hubby at work: "Honey, there is trouble with the car, I don't know what to do. I think, "
Husband: "Sweetheart, calm down, what seems to be the problem?"
Wife: "It has water in the carburettor!"
Husband: "What? Water in the what?"
Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor, "
Husband: "You don't even know what a carburettor is, let alone where to look for it. Ok, where is the car now?"
Wifey: "In the swimming pool!"

From a cruise ship, a passenger notices a bearded man on a small, remote island shouting and desperately waving his hands.
"Who is that?" he asks the captain.
"I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad."

not bad

@lollabbey
can i take u to MAMA?

Thank you guys,another one from Mandelasland

Gauteng Metro policeman pulled Sipho's car over and

told him that because he had been wearing his seat belt

he had just won R5 000, in an Arrive Alive safety competition.

Sipho could hardly believe his luck.

"What are you going to do with your cash?" asked the traffic cop.

"Well I guess I'm going to get a drivers license," Sipho answered.

"Oh, don't listen to him," yelled Dipuo in the passenger seat.

"He tries to be smart when he's drunk."

This woke up Rodger in the back seat who took one look at

the cop and moaned, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."

At that moment there was a knock from the boot and Zakes' voice said,

"Are we over the border yet?"

A black guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi, You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter.

You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is R1 200 000 a year."

The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker says, "Yeah, well , you started it."

hhhmmmm
good try

tnks

sorry
not to u

Lolabbey:

tnks

sholabanke:

sorry
not to u

stay like that

lik wht?huh?

sholabanke:

stay like that

Lolabbey:

lik wht?huh?

who be dis

Republic of South Africa you're on your own" Steven Bantu Biko

OYOlo wa jare

mak ona tel am well

we pray make him hear