I don't believe his wife would want you to be at the wedding,so I think your ex is just saying that just to make you come to his wedding,but since u said he sounded cold then there could be another angle to it,it could be that truly his wife told him to invite you probably the wife is someone you know very well and she wants you to see that this is what u are missing.. or the wife could just simply want him to invite you and no strings attached...he might have told your wife about you before....but I think no matter the reason,just honour the invitation,that is the best gift you can give to him and if truly you loved him during those days when you guys were dating then go to the wedding and wish him a happy married life....that is called maturity.........they can't kill you na.. but make sure you go with your own man.if you don't have just go and borrow..

freecocoa:
Oh!

Well I won't lie, I have mixed feelings, I don't know if it'll be comfortable for him or even me.

To tell her "you missed out on the best man in the world".

That is why ex-never!

freecocoa:
Here's the thing, an ex called me last week(my first boyfriend) to invite me to his wedding, the issue now is that I don't know if I should honour the invite, he said his wife insist he invites me(he didn't want to )I know he did love me and he was quite the model boyfriend then(he could pass for the types in mills$boons )and we have talked since the break up but I never thought he wouldn't invite me to his wedding, and now to call me to say his wife insists he invites me is kinda shocking/confusing, I always knew I would honour the invites I have the time to attend to,still I'm wondering if I should sit this one out, I partly want to go because it will be like a kind of reunion with old friends(even some who have to travel from very far for this) yet somehow, I feel like not going, he didn't sound happy to invite me, he was cold.

Would you go if you were the one?

What is wrong with you, I don't mean to insult you ok, just want you to know that you shouldn't behave like a baby and allow him use you as a toy. He is greedy and don't want to let you go, he has a plan to be making fun of you soonest, that is how some men are, (want to eat their cake and have it) please don't go, and let him see reality that its no longer business as usual and forge ahead with your life and don't yield to a decision that was taking during/after love making.

freecocoa:
Here's the thing, an ex called me last week(my first boyfriend) to invite me to his wedding, the issue now is that I don't know if I should honour the invite, he said his wife insist he invites me(he didn't want to )I know he did love me and he was quite the model boyfriend then(he could pass for the types in mills$boons )and we have talked since the break up but I never thought he wouldn't invite me to his wedding, and now to call me to say his wife insists he invites me is kinda shocking/confusing, I always knew I would honour the invites I have the time to attend to,still I'm wondering if I should sit this one out, I partly want to go because it will be like a kind of reunion with old friends(even some who have to travel from very far for this) yet somehow, I feel like not going, he didn't sound happy to invite me, he was cold.

Would you go if you were the one?

Don't go, they just want to rub it on your face. All eyez will be on you on that day as a looser, perhaps an arranged pity party for you too

If you are still friends, just honour his IV. Forget the fact that his wife wants you to attend. Don't stay all through. Just breeze in with all pleasure and leave before the event ends.

Wonder y d wife want her husband's ex to come for the wedding

freecocoa:
Don't troll here biko.

Okay! My advice na make you nor go else you nor go like wetin u go see that day.

freecocoa:
Walai if I was sure, I wouldn't have opened this thread, from how we left things, he was still into me and kinda angry about the breakup, I don't know who his wife is so I was surprised with the manner of invite, it seems rude to me.

Why rude? Your ex's attitude or the wife's? I know a couple of folks who would do something like this just to show they have no hard feelings for their spouse's ex, this sounds like such a case. At weddings unless the bride and groom need a particular person they tend not to notice who showed or didn't show. If you attend, I'd say don't show yourself till the time of gift giving or the very end and leave almost immediately, that way you minimise any untoward interaction.

freecocoa:
Here's the thing, an ex called me last week(my first boyfriend) to invite me to his wedding, the issue now is that I don't know if I should honour the invite, he said his wife insist he invites me(he didn't want to )I know he did love me and he was quite the model boyfriend then(he could pass for the types in mills$boons )and we have talked since the break up but I never thought he wouldn't invite me to his wedding, and now to call me to say his wife insists he invites me is kinda shocking/confusing, I always knew I would honour the invites I have the time to attend to,still I'm wondering if I should sit this one out, I partly want to go because it will be like a kind of reunion with old friends(even some who have to travel from very far for this) yet somehow, I feel like not going, he didn't sound happy to invite me, he was cold.

Would you go if you were the one?

Freecocoa again. Didnt i say it? See as dem boiz just dey dumb u for other girls just cos of ur feminist character. Dem no fit marry u, but na to invite u for their weddings.

U never chi chum chin.

Don't ever attempt to grace such occasion. Maybe you're out of your mind or you are not given it second thought. How would your ex boyfriend wife to be insist that you must come to their wedding. From security perspective don't endanger your life. I will not want you to take any step that you will regret later. So many people were saying you should go since you separated with peace but I will advise you to ignore their advise. Do you know the secret agenda of your ex-guy wife before coming up with such suggestion ? Do you know her ? Do you know the type of person she is ? Please my dear sister, cancel the date on your schedule and I pray we won't do anything that we will regret of later. My observation due to experience.

freecocoa:
Here's the thing, an ex called me last week(my first boyfriend) to invite me to his wedding, the issue now is that I don't know if I should honour the invite, he said his wife insist he invites me(he didn't want to )I know he did love me and he was quite the model boyfriend then(he could pass for the types in mills$boons )and we have talked since the break up but I never thought he wouldn't invite me to his wedding, and now to call me to say his wife insists he invites me is kinda shocking/confusing, I always knew I would honour the invites I have the time to attend to,still I'm wondering if I should sit this one out, I partly want to go because it will be like a kind of reunion with old friends(even some who have to travel from very far for this) yet somehow, I feel like not going, he didn't sound happy to invite me, he was cold.

Would you go if you were the one?

You don't need to attend that wedding, cos one of you, if not both wil end up with bitter mind, and u wil feel the pain at last, send him a nice massage to wish him well in d journey Tell him u wil come but don't go. I rise.

freecocoa:
Here's the thing, an ex called me last week(my first boyfriend) to invite me to his wedding, the issue now is that I don't know if I should honour the invite, he said his wife insist he invites me(he didn't want to )I know he did love me and he was quite the model boyfriend then(he could pass for the types in mills$boons )and we have talked since the break up but I never thought he wouldn't invite me to his wedding, and now to call me to say his wife insists he invites me is kinda shocking/confusing, I always knew I would honour the invites I have the time to attend to,still I'm wondering if I should sit this one out, I partly want to go because it will be like a kind of reunion with old friends(even some who have to travel from very far for this) yet somehow, I feel like not going, he didn't sound happy to invite me, he was cold.

Would you go if you were the one?

Pls go there with ur present boyfriend! Don't go alone... That's an advice. Ur ex's wife wanna make sure u witness the wedding and never ever make her man cheat on her with you ever and ever again!

I wasn't even invited. I went there on my own,ate whole lot of Pounded Yam on that day.....Lol.

RedBenson:


Freecocoa again. Didnt i say it? See as dem boiz just dey dumb u for other girls just cos of ur feminist character. Dem no fit marry u, but na to invite u for their weddings.

U never chi chum chin.

I keep saying it, na sense wey you no get dey affect you like this, stay away from this thread if you won't grow some sense.

my simple advice. ....
Go with ur prince charming boo too..

LordReed:


Why rude? Your ex's attitude or the wife's? I know a couple of folks who would do something like this just to show they have no hard feelings for their spouse's ex, this sounds like such a case. At weddings unless the bride and groom need a particular person they tend not to notice who showed or didn't show. If you attend, I'd say don't show yourself till the time of gift giving or the very end and leave almost immediately, that way you minimise any untoward interaction.

I meant the ex's, I wouldn't tell my ex it was my spouse that wants him at the event, especially if he doesn't know my spouse but then, what do I know?

I've decided not to go though after giving it a thought/reading some posts here, I just have the feeling that he isn't totally happy with me.

It is safer not to know somethings

slimz10:


OK

That is why I said that it is my humble opinion.
The only way for the OP to know the reason of the invite is to attend the wedding.

Who knows, the lady in question may turn out to know OP

freecocoa:
Hmm,I'd be more comfortable if this is it.

Then call him and tell him what u feels about the whole thing. I can see u still have something for your ex but ain't nothing wrong with that.

okoolori:


Then call him and tell him what u feels about the whole thing. I can see u still have something for your ex but ain't nothing wrong with that.

I honestly don't, I just feel guilty kinda, because I could've handled things better and he didn't take the break up well, it hurt him a lot,plus he only was good to me, so I'm always careful with anything that involves him.

yes i will! I have attended five of them already .

Richy4:
I think you should think about it first before attending.

Number 1. If you attend, they might over do things to rob it on your face what you missed. If they wanna kiss for a second, for instance, they will extend it for 2mins. Just for your sake. Are you emotionally up for that kind of drama? If yes. You are good to go.



But before you go, there's something called "A" game. Jump into any Nigerian market, look for the best cloth you can afford. Make sure you do not look trashy but try and look classy. Come to Nairaland, advertise for handsome dude who lives in your suburb whom you can borrow to accompany you ie if you do not have one. The one hotter than your ex. That will be your "A" game just in case. And don't forget to smile at the wedding. Do not eat much. Just to maintain a classy attitude.

Good luck

Lol
Why will some1 go tru all this Drama ..is it worth it
Anyway people get time sha...

Therz no biggies abt this issue... Provided I'm in a very promising relationship already...
I'll simply attend the wedding with my fiancee.. We'd be so cozy and loved up the whole time at d event; so much that a third party wud be forced to fink we've forgotten we're at someone's wedding and not ours...
I wud even introduce my sweetie pie to the very husband who shot the invite at me in d first place...
This whole drama wud gimme d answer to d big question of why he wanted me there ... #i observe alot and intelligently

freecocoa:
My dear that's the part I find shocking and confusing.

I don't know his wife.

She probably wants to gloat over the fact that she's marrying him. She got something you lost and she wants to show off. Else why would she insist on you being there?

She's not serious at all because I don't think her primary concern at this time should be about you attending or not!

Your ex may be sending you an SOS, You both still feel something for each other all it need is a spark.
His invitation is actually not meant for the wedding but before the wedding, you both need a sincere dialogue, keep pride aside. you need to see what others around you see about both of you that make them think you are perfect for each other.

I may be wrong, but I think he love you and not the person he is marrying. & there is a chance you love him too.

But it's your choice......... talk with him before the wedding even if you wont attend, ask him honest questions and be open to him.

Go and think about how to get your own husband and marry instead of worrying yourself with useless invite that can not do you any good. It appear that since the break up, you have not succeeded to find a suitable man. If you have , you wouldn't be here contemplating on how to attend the wedding of a man who has probably used you and had moved on. He is even planning marriage with all your acclaimed thoughts that you dumped him. You are wasting precious time on a wild goose chase. Use this time to invest in your life, plan your own marital life and cancel the syndrome of Ex's over your life. How many Ex,s do you want have before you finally settle down? Women should be ashamed of referring to Ex,s as if it is a trivial thing. Each Ex,s always leave a mark of usage on your body and soul regardless even if you are the one that ended the relationship. I am surprised a woman can even post trash like this. What do you want to achieve. Get over this and give yourself a sense of goal in life. it appear you are not focused at the moment. I don't mean to offend. Just telling you the pure truth.

Thanks

Virtue11:
Go and think about how to get your own husband and marry instead of worrying yourself with useless invite that can not do you any good. It appear that since the break up, you have not succeeded to find a suitable man. If you have , you wouldn't be here contemplating on how to attend the wedding of a man who has probably used you and had moved on. He is even planning marriage with all your acclaimed thoughts that you dumped him. You are wasting precious time on a wild goose chase. Use this time to invest in your life, plan your own marital life and cancel the syndrome of Ex's over your life. How many Ex,s do you want have before you finally settle down? Women should be ashamed of referring to Ex,s as if it is a trivial thing. Each Ex,s always leave a mark of usage on your body and soul regardless even if you are the one that ended the relationship. I am surprised a woman can even post trash like this. What do you want to achieve. Get over this and give yourself a sense of goal in life. it appear you are not focused at the moment. I don't mean to offend. Just telling you the pure truth.

Thanks

You sound very stup1d/shallow. I don't mean to offend, just telling you the purest truth.

Thanks.

freecocoa:
You sound very stup1d/shallow. I don't mean to offend, just telling you the purest truth.
Thanks.

I am not expecting anything better from your response. The response above is more applicable to describe your present dilemma judging from the content of your post. I have told you the truth. Why are you offended by it. Please don't be offended; It just show your real personality behind the screen. Please go and walk on your life. Truths are bitter but they will make you free.

Thanks

freecocoa:
I keep saying it, na sense wey you no get dey affect you like this, stay away from this thread if you won't grow some sense.

me and u, who no get sense? I dey tell u to change, u dey yarn dust. Change ur feminist character before it becomes too late. If this last guy come dump u plus, na sorry be ur name.

Favolly:
I'm think it's really weird that the wife wants you there. Why??
To rub it in your face that she won the 'prize'? Or is she just one of those overly-pleasant people who don't know what awkward means? Because insisting that you attend her wedding seems kinda awkward to me

as in ehn odikwa risky oo
if mine does ask me to, hmm I fit jst go to enjoy d ceremony n buy beta gift guun