Throughout my stay on Planet Earth 9ja to be precise i've crossed paths with a lot of girls. So within me i took time to create this girl while my mate 4 china dey do beta tin.On sunday, I met her on my way from a church a friend invited me, I was recovering from the sorethroat while shouting "FIRE FIRE DIE DIE", plus the headache i gave myself after surrendering to the pastor for newcomers prayers. Back to the topic jare, I met this girl inside a public transport, immediately i took a sit beside her. At least God know say i suffer 4 dat church, he rewarded me with my dream girl.

"Conductor, how much", i thundered...alaiye, na 150 oooo. Oya take for 2. Who be the second pesin??, I pointed 2 d girl. For my mind, big boy.
One small voice just talk inside my head remember say na only #500 u hold, and she no even talk thankyou sef. I shrugged it off...e no min anytin...maybe she just wan test me

Yes?? Go on...

"Hi...i just paid for you", i managed to say to her.
No reply. Chai 9ja girls and forming be like bread and butter. She brought out her phone and started swiping (which i later realized dah she was only changing d year to 2016 back to 2015 nd so on
Na so i hear "driver Owa, i say oto"...i kon realize say i dey dull...had it been it was my dream girl, my #150 for jz burn lyk dat shaaa...GOD FORBID
I mustered courage...shey na kim kardashian i sidon wit , i asked myself.

Babe, i said. excuse me wat did u just call me?, are you ok?
Thank God she don talk... i did not even mind the insult. Na here i confirm say love is blind.
i quickly jerked back to reality. Erm, i muttered. I actually said "PAID"...erm "PAID, PAID FOR YOU, PAID FOR YOU AND ME".
thankZ, she said
Mehn dat thanks be like...it cant be expressed in words jare.
I am XYZ...and you are?
i am B...yh sure B for Beautiful, i chipped in.
She smiled...dat small voice inside my head--fake smile

Oya everybody bole...driver move front small na, one old man inquired. Shey na you go pay agbero...d conductor replied
"Driver na owa money go kill u"...said another commuter...#150 see where you drop us
E be lyk say u no get husband for house abi...see as she be, no come down ooo...siddon i go carry u go back...said d red eyed driver.
B, let us come down...itz not dat far(i bin dey find opportunity make we trek b4)...all dose prayerz dey use style work oo
We started talking...but wetin she dey talk no dey my calender at all
"XYZ can u imagine, #150 look at where dese people dropped us" she said
for my mind...na who suppose dey complain here
i just need ur number jare.
"B, B wait...my fone". I pretended
What about your phone? She asked
Seems i left inside d bus.
Let us go back na...She said
(4 my mind...go back where)
erm B, can you call my phone please...thankGod say e still dey silent
Ur numba she asked
siro ate siro tiri nine double tiri.......
XYZ its ringing...dont bother i said
d iphone5 don tire me sef...i want 2 try iphone six
wow...seriously??
yes B...i said with 99% CONFIDEN 1% T
for my mind....shebi una wise, see as i get ur numba


we were getting close to where we would part ways, i kon remember say i no collect change...my #200...chaii
i no remember wen i tell B, "Bye i would call u"
call me??...she said with her eyes wide open
but you dont have my numba,,,this time with her mouth wide open.

I no just know wetin i do people for village.
Now, i gatz explain how i get her number after presumably loosing my phone.
And the trekking wey dey wait me still dey do press-up.
How that old woman take find my file for village??...wetin i do Satan??.. is it because of that small "fire, fire, die ,die" i did in church?? abeg na play i dey oo...jz rewyn wetin u put down.

I was still lost in an ocean of my thoughts when she suddeny called me
XYZ i am asking you.
"erm..erm...you see...you know...i went...i came". i tried to conjure anytin...i min anytin. cuz my dream girl is about to remain within the confines of my dream.
ENOUGH!!!...she yelled...and dont you ever tried to call me...cheap liar

Before my koro-koro eyes she left...chaii...wat have i done??...i rhetorized
i talk am say dis church na ogboni church...i talk am say dis jeans na badluck jeans...
i for no chop iya basira rice dz mornin
me sef no dey hear word...y i go wear black shoe, i kon wear black socks...
different ideas hitting me left and right until d biggest one hit me

Dude... please just stop!.... you're embarrassing yourself with this.

Lol Clown should be your moniker ah swear ...

op are the president of magas association of Nigeria,why would you pay for a stranger in first place? what if her bf was beside her?........

see how you lost 350Naira you for use buy malt and snatchs take replenish yourself

I started trekking at least i dey use style exercise. "Oboy check ur phone"-i thought.
Na so i commot my nokia torchlight from my left pocket, 1 missed call, 1 new message.
As i saw "1 new message"...i paused. Maybe someting has touched B. I opened the message....
"Dear Brother XYZ, HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE SERVICE, YOU WOULD START SEEING THE IMPACT OF GOD'S BLESSING IN YOUR LIFE IMMEDIATELY".
chaiii...so na this people do me lyk dis, i murmured.
First day wey i come una church. Well if una see me again ehn...i swear, i swear....
I realized i was talking 2 myself on the road. People don dey look me. I even heard on woman told her neighbor..."see as this fine boy don craze"...dis world wicked ooo.

I just swallowed byforce spit, increased my pace. And within some minutes, i was on my street.

Chaiii...i tell iya basira that i would pay her when i return from church ooo.
Before i completed my thought...."XYZ!!,XYZ!!!", na iya basira voice be that ooo.
Ahhhh...Iya Bass...i hailed her with the last strength o had.
"No calli my name at alli ooo, where isi my money, i wanti to b going to the marketi", she thundered with deep yoruba accent.
Ahn ahn...Iya Bass, u dey go market on sunday again, i go pay u na...as u can see i'm just returning from church.
"dati one isi your own bussiness, e no koncen me rara"...b4 she finished, one customer shouted..."Iya Basiraaaaa, wey d extra na"...
i dey comii o jare...bcuz of xtra #50.
I just used this oppurtunity to USAIN BOLT out of the shop...straight home.
I remembered B.

Let me call her, i said to myself.;