Try and touch him you know what am saying.....

vani86:
When dey touch problem. When they dont problem.

Guys can never win

lol... funny but true

The guy obviously knws his weekness. It might be that when the guy gets turned on, no heaven can stop him from the show.. So sister leave am like dat if u no want trouble ooooo.

prettysassygirl:
To the advise part,jes tell him,"guy I wan see your thing,show me if it dey work"so simple,when u see it,he puts it back,no touching.

Best piece of advice so far!

If u want to have sex then get married. Its for the married not for singles. u have a man that treats u as a lady and you are here complaining, what rubbish is this world turning into.

This na temptation...

You said that you are doing the 'no sex' because you want to please God.Then trust him that a partner he gives you at the end of the day will be able at least meet your sexual fantasies.

Dear OP, am happy with your stance of no sex before marriage. Since he is your fiance you should be free to discuss anything with him at this stage. I understand your fears perfectly. Even though you are not being intimate, in the course of your relationship you should have at least seen him turned on once or a few times. Guys can get aroused when they are with someone they are attracted to. There was a similar scenario a few years back similar to yours, where the lady thought the guy was being holy. In fact the wedding date had been fixed with cards sent out. The bride to be's aunt felt it was too awkward that she hadn't seen him get an 'erection' once despite the fact that she sleeps there. She was advised to take a drastic step in walking around in her undies and going to hold on to the guy. It was that point the guy confessed he had been impotent since secondary school and he didn't discuss with anyone. The wedding was called off. My dear feel free to discuss with him that doesn't take away your holiness.

Jexyme:

Best piece of advice so far!

Thanks jare

Turan10:


This your 'no sex' relationship is deceptive. If u want to abstain, abstain totally. There's no diff btw u and sm1 doing it. They are all classified as 'sexual immorality'...by mere looking lustfully, u have done it, not to talk of ds your 1.5MB subscription...lol

Lol....na u sabi o. Different strokes for different folks I guess. Takia and have a nice evening.

nerodenero:
Relationship counsellor . My problem with the OP is comparing her last relationship with the present. No two relationships are same. Why do you want to enjoy part of what you claimed it'll be done when you're supposed married? Why start what might lead to what you have been avoiding?

I think the OP is confused and the way she is going, it is just a matter of time before she gets enough "banging". Besides, that's what she wants indirectly.

Maybe all what you said is true but biko the bro in question should loosen up a bit, he's too uptight. For crying out loud this is something that will probably lead to marriage.

Imagine bringing up such a sensitive issue and you get the 'this is not the real you, you've been discussing much with your gf's' reply. Odikwa somehow risky ooo

Luckygurl:



Maybe all what you said is true but biko the bro in question should loosen up a bit, he's too uptight. For crying out loud this is something that will probably lead to marriage.

Imagine bringing up such a sensitive issue and you get the 'this is not the real you, you've been discussing much with your gf's' reply. Odikwa somehow risky ooo

Life itself is a risk as it's risky not to take risk. This type of relationship is a risk and always deny people from knowing how sexually active their spouse is because of the no-sex- stance and if sex is involved, it doesn't guarantee anything but you need to take the risk which the OP did. She should abide by the risk she has taken and stop wailing.

If one takes such decision, then it's morally right not to indulge in activities that might trigger or predispose one to having the sex and that's what the OP might achieve in the end.

What of if the guy in question knows he might not be able to control himself if his babe kisses or hugs him... When SIM come enter phone, she go show for nairaland to wail

Next time the OP is praying, she should pray to God that she needs a no-sex-relationship while stressing the dude must be romantic and see if God win answer .

Yedo:
Luckygurl what is jim jim brothers? I remembered if I am not mistaken a lady once told me that she has seen jim-jim brodas that passed me. Everybody has his/her opinion but I don't think you gave the right advice for a lady who wants to keep herself pure for GOD. To my sister, is it the voice of the LORD that you heard before going in to the relationship? If it's His voice then you have nothing to worry about because the blessings of the LORD addeth no sorrow and He directs the path of those who diligently seek Him.

hehehehe!!!
More like a slang for a very spiritual minded brother in the lord, you get? Are you one It's a good thing....

Yeah! I voiced my opinion cos I'm entitled to one. See lets quit with all the pretense, I'm only saying the man in question should atleast try to be open in such sensitive discussions and also show a little more affection like hugs, pecks, abi will these lead him into sin? This is his fiancee and not some sister Eliza..

Lol!! This matter sef..
E yaff tire me, something wey no concern me, anyway..............

dat 1 jst die 4 plane crash witout drillin dat hole.smh

Op, there's such a thing called ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION which your poor fiance may be suffering from.
Quick test? Cuddle and handle him down there. If he doesn't tise to the occasion (pun intended), take a powder

robedu:
thats not a good comment to make you know? that was not what i said

You just exposed your true profile dear

biotechshola:
Here is my candid advice to u my sister, you ar so lucky to av met such amazing guy. Honestly the best a guy would do for his fiancee is to sacrifice hs sexual pleasure for her. That thought of whether he is ok, sexually active and d rest is instigated by d devil blv me, our mothers afterall ddnt go abt testing guys sexual capability befor marriage nd yet they had no prblm of such..continue on ur path cos its a gud one and trust me u wont get punished for being good. Wish u al da best]

Best comment so far. I lost ma girl because of this no sex thing.
Infact I told her no sex till after our introduction, because I wanted her to know not all men are sex craze and also to know that I love her naturally not because of what she has under her cloth. But she didn't understand it.
Girls can be something else

malele:


Best comment so far. I lost ma girl because of this no sex thing.
Infact I told her no sex till after our introduction, because I wanted her to know not all men are sex craze and also to know that I love her naturally not because of what she has under her cloth. But she didn't understand it.
Girls can be something else

Guy...

what kind of comment is dis? so you exxpect us to give you a pat on the back that you did well saying no sex till after marriage?

You try.

Heres where you got it all wrong. Loving someone like you claim is not about what you want, rather what your partner wants. Ever heard the phrase loves first duty is to listen? Do you know what that means? Here let me help you, it means to listen to the person you love. Youre loving the person not for your sake but for the persons sake.

Miss this miss everything.

People are different and are of different needs in their relationships,

some women crave attention others dont.

some believe good sex is what defines their relationships others dont

If money was all it took to hold a woman trust me Tommy Mottola had no business signing divorce papers, puff daddy breaking up with Jennifer Lopez. Both of these women ended up settling for men far less successful than these guys.

etc

You need to listen and find out what your partner speaks and try to fit into this, likewise your partner for you.

Oh you thought compatibility everyone talks about means both of you both like tecno phones?

You goofed and you goofed big time

chai!

nerodenero:

Life itself is a risk as it's risky not to take risk. This type of relationship is a risk and always deny people from knowing how sexually active their spouse is because of the no-sex- stance and if sex is involved, it doesn't guarantee anything but you need to take the risk which the OP did. She should abide by the risk she has taken and stop wailing.

If one takes such decision, then it's morally right not to indulge in activities that might trigger or predispose one to having the sex and that's what the OP might achieve in the end.

What of if the guy in question knows he might not be able to control himself if his babe kisses or hugs him... When SIM come enter phone, she go show for nairaland to wail

Next time the OP is praying, she should pray to God that she needs a no-sex-relationship while stressing the dude must be romantic and see if God win answer .

Me ayam praying for such and I know God will answer me

Inshort, I don't know what else to say

robedu:
thats not a good comment to make you know? that was not what i said

OP hes got more likes than you for taht comment which obviously means hes saying something that makes a whole lotta sense.

Meanwhile i know a lady who got into a relationship similar to yours, fiance claimed all Godly and stuff so no nothing till after marriage. I swear to you three weeks after the wedding finally, nothing still happened, turns out the dude was impotent. He knew this and just felt he still had a moral obligation to get married and the lady was just a victim.

Now of course this could happen to anyone and not cause enough to start mocking the chap or anything like that, he now starts beating her and taking out his frustrations on the poor lady. Theyre divorced now been over 10years.

Im not saying i support premarital sex (yeah right!) what im saying is if you were that womans sister what advice do you think she would give at this stage?

Sex is great, i really dont know why its held and made to be such an issue and stuff amongst people and tried to look like its bad (religious and cultural issues i guess) but seriously if its feeling like somethings just not right about this guy chances are youre right. Its not an intuition for nothing and besides youre both parties to this relationship, whatever happened to listening to your partners needs.

Call that guy and sit his butt down and tell him your concerns, youre both not in kindergarten i assume? If hes not matured enough to discuss such things with you, he obviously has no business being in a relationship!

refreshrate:


Guy...

what kind of comment is dis? so you exxpect us to give you a pat on the back that you did well saying no sex till after marriage?

You try.

Heres where you got it all wrong. Loving someone like you claim is not about what you want, rather what your partner wants. Ever heard the phrase loves first duty is to listen? Do you know what that means? Here let me help you, it means to listen to the person you love. Youre loving the person not for your sake but for the persons sake.

Miss this miss everything.

People are different and are of different needs in their relationships,

some women crave attention others dont.

some believe good sex is what defines their relationships others dont

If money was all it took to hold a woman trust me Tommy Mottola had no business signing divorce papers, puff daddy breaking up with Jennifer Lopez. Both of these women ended up settling for men far less successful than these guys.

etc

You need to listen and find out what your partner speaks and try to fit into this, likewise your partner for you.

Oh you thought compatibility everyone talks about means both of you both like tecno phones?

You goofed and you goofed big time

chai!

Guy I understand now, everything don clear for ma eye bro. I was dead in love with this girl so sex was the last thing on ma mind. Seeing her was just enough for me.
Even till now I have not gotten over the pain.

malele:



Guy I understand now, everything don clear for ma eye bro. I was dead in love with this girl so sex was the last thing on ma mind. Seeing her was just enough for me.

Aaaawww!

So sorry things went the way they did.

Oya wait wheres the girl now? Shes not ok how she go break my guy heart like that?
You still love am make we begin recovery process?

Luckygurl:


Me ayam praying for such and I know God will answer me

Inshort, I don't know what else to say

Read my comment immidately after this your post, then let me know what you think against what you wrote again

refreshrate:


Aaaawww!

So sorry things went the way they did.

Oya wait wheres the girl now? Shes not ok how she go break my guy heart like that?
You still love am make we begin recovery process?

Bro I still love the babe, this thing happened some 2months, till now I have not gotten over it each time I remember what happened I feel like crying, I just pray she comes back.

@op ur guy is normal, I was in his shoes, though ma own girl left me.
Just talk to him about ur fears

Well, I share your concern but hear this. I courted with my wife for 5yrs & never touched her for once. One day she came with this your idea of not touching me or whether I can do or not & I told her that 'this boy you are looking at is a complete man' & that ends it. Today, to the glory of God, we have 3 children: a girl & 2 boys. Bible says marriage bed must be undefiled. Discuss with him & take his word. Caution, let him not shy away from reality. Pin him down, not to touch or romance you but just a discussion abt your fear. Above all, trust no man but trust God. What is your personal conviction abt this marriage you abt to enter? God bless you.

Talk to him about it

malele:


Bro I still love the babe, this thing happened some 2months, till now I have not gotten over it each time I remember what happened I feel like crying, I just pray she comes back.

@op ur guy is normal, I was in his shoes, though ma own girl left me.
What u will do is give him a hot kiss,atimes we guy are shy to start the process.

come
shut up dia!

The girl should kiss you first?

Your first kiss?

I go wound this guy o!

Which kain stupid shy you dey shy?

Then youre here praying she comes back, just like dat? like miracle go just happen she go just think say she suppose come back? Guy i dey owe you brushing remind me when we see.

Hey! Dis boy have kill me!

meanwhile i need small intel on that your babe i go treat this your fvck up later.

Is she involved with someone else already?
How long were you people together for before she commot?

nlfan:
Dear NLers



How do I get to know all these about him, have starved myself enough of sex to please God, and to be a good girl my mother asked me to be and cannot "CANNOT" and will not be able to stand a slow or bad sex experiences in marriage, the thought of this is driving me crazy

"Na pikin wey chop outside dey talk say him mama food no sweet".

nlfan:
Dear NLers

I am in a no sex relationship with this amazing young man, he is cool and has everything I wanted in a man.

Apart from him, have always been in a no sex relationship, the last man I dated, who died in the ill fated Dana Air crash was also in a no sex relationship with me but he was more vibrant emotionally, like he will hug me tight, hold me and look into my eyes, roll his hands over me and kisses me too and sometimes I notice he will be so turn on, just that we have decided we want to wait and sometimes he will say baby i'm so turn on but I can handle it.

Now the issue I have with this one I am dating now is, he will not do any of that, all he does is look at me passionately, and if he must touch me, he will just hold my hands and play with my fingers, he can stare at me the whole day and gist with me, but I have never seen him at the point where he was turn on, whether in his face or actions, he is just there.

I know he is God fearing and can afford not to be turn on, but I am so scared, have slept in his house before, we were just like blood siblings, cook together eat and off he went to his room, no emotions or maybe a kiss to say good night and stuff, it was so neutral I feared he might not like sex or romance at all or maybe he is not all right.

Sometimes I want to bring up gist like, how far did you go with your ex, what is the most naughty thing you have done in a relationship or for love, and he will go like... I came back from work, I didn't have a car then, so I trek all the way to her house to cook for her.

And I ask, what's your most memorable sex experience, and he replied baby good night, this is not you so don't bring up the fake self, you've been talking too much to your girl friends lately I guess.

How do I get to know all these about him, have starved myself enough of sex to please God, and to be a good girl my mother asked me to be and cannot "CANNOT" and will not be able to stand a slow or bad sex experiences in marriage, the thought of this is driving me crazy

I think i understand what the problem is. Even if there wont be a set fire in your relationship now, you want occasional sparks to warm u slightly and more importantly reassure you there can be fire in mountain when you both agree to set it.

you want to feel wanted sexually . isnt it? One girl is falling in my arms currently ,because she has a similar problem you have with your current partner. Her partner is too uptight and wont even kiss or be romantically involved , though she also wants a no sex relationship. It took me time to realise what her problem was.

Men need to loosen up and realise that they cant afford to take extreme positions, what a lady says she wants sexually is not 100% what she wants. If i was ur man, i would make sexual advances on you, and will leave the 'NO' in your mouth, if the NO comes, i will respect it.

@OP, express your concerns with your guy in a diplomatic way.

Luckygurl:


hehehehe!!!
More like a slang for a very spiritual minded brother in the lord, you get? Are you one It's a good thing....

Yeah! I voiced my opinion cos I'm entitled to one. See lets quit with all the pretense, I'm only saying the man in question should atleast try to be open in such sensitive discussions and also show a little more affection like hugs, pecks, abi will these lead him into sin? This is his fiancee and not some sister Eliza..

Lol!! This matter sef..
E yaff tire me, something wey no concern me, anyway..............

It all start from holding hands, hugging, pecking and before you know it, it has gone to something else(the real act). The devil is always moving like a roaring lion seeking for whom to devour, so let's not give him chance. The bible warns that we should run away from anything that stimulates sexual sin. Thanks for the explanation about jim-jim.

Turan10:




Kai! e don turn electronics... guess you are highly experienced in ds field. Lol

Naah, am innocent ooo

malele:


Best comment so far. I lost ma girl because of this no sex thing.
Infact I told her no sex till after our introduction, because I wanted her to know not all men are sex craze and also to know that I love her naturally not because of what she has under her cloth. But she didn't understand it.
Girls can be something else

That's the insanity going on in our society. Some parents even encouraged their children in such direction. We blame d politicians of being corrupt, mean while we av stopped being modest too.