goldenruby:
Amen! Dear God please guide me not to get married to the wrong person

Amen!!!Dear God hear our prayer

Give a poor man money and you will see his true and real character.

Husband was probably starved from lack of sex and your absence. From the way you type, I presume that you are still young , maybe innocently thinking that hubby will sheath the sword until you comes back.

Sex provokes violence in sexstarved-lack of sex control-immature men. Get a rock solid contraceptives, screen thoroughly for STI's and fuc=k him to stupor and submission, you've healed enough.

Mind you, I am not holding brief for that coc=ksucker, let to me I will advise something nasty but we've got to salvage the ones we can. Get on with it.

Tnx all 4 concern, I appreciate

taryour:




is this story real or I don't get it... its funny though but i kinda find this hard to believe. and you still remain in that house aftr the threatened to stab you? He wanted to take his own child to the orphanage home? are you both going to die soon

It's nt funny my dear

[quote author=cococandy post=38111318]You don't have to tell him you're leaving.
Just leave quietly.
You're rubbing it in his face that you're leaving so that he will kill you and kill himself abi?
Think of your little child first.
Thank god you have your mom to lean on this period. So just go back there and let him conquer his demons first before you bring yourself and that little baby into the face of danger.

Someone can kill another person in anger unintentionally much less when they already threatened to do so with a knife.
Whatever came over him will clear once that knife finds its way into your body. By then it will be too late.
He needs help and until he gets its and gets better, remove yourself from that danger.

You can be giving him your support from your moms place. Let him come there and see you guys anything he wants to see the baby.
Never go back until you're totally convinced that he's changed.





I think that's what I wil do, Bt I want 2 tak my baby vry far away 4rm him

MMotimo:


You lived together happily until childbirth and then he just changed overnight? Your story doesn't sound right.

Not saying you are lying but there are vital missing details in your story, it's incomplete. So, within the space of how many weeks, your husband became suicidal/homicidal as well as a wife beater and womanizer? Maybe if you complete the story, you will get people that can give you sensible counsel.

Actually before I got pregnant we do have our normal coupels misunderstanding Bt not like this

That you cannot leave because he threatened to kill you and himself with knife is a lie. If indeed you want to leave you would have done it when he leaves for work.

Waiting for PART 2!

Truckpusher:
Most people in an online forum actually think that they have an opinion when it comes to relationships and marriages.

You guys haven't heard from the op's husband and listen to his own side of the story but right here you guys are already advising the op to run away from her marriage as if any little problem with any marriage the only solution is total dissolution of such union.

Op ,kindly go back to your house and figure out how you guys ended up this way because one thing I can assure you is that most people that appears to be happily married do have problems that are much more bigger than whatever you think you're into right now. And your topic talked about being cheated on but gradually migrated to domestic violence and threat to life.

Go home and fight for what you believed in and worked so hard to achieve - Do not put yourself in an awkward position that would present to your husband the opportunity to raise his hand on you and that solely lies on your tongue.

There is no perfect marriage and it is usually different strokes for different folks.

@bold, what about you? Are you part of the "most people" or you think you have an opinion on relationships and marriage that should count

Secondly, easy for you to say! Because you are not the one in the situation. If you have been threatened by your wife before with a knife do share your experience. If not, why should anyone regard your own advice?

Say by chance she was your sister, will you just tell her to go back to her husband's house and figure out how things got bad or YOU as her family will take active steps to ensure she is safe?

Then most importantly, how should she "fight" for what she has worked for exactly? Like, what should she do? You just sounded like a politician "vote me in and I'll make you comfortable", by doing what??

I know maybe the response will be the hypocritical "pray for him, it is well" but if not, tell her how exactly she should "fight" taking into account the little child.

Adaeze003:


@bold, what about you? Are you part of the "most people" or you think you have an opinion on relationships and marriage that should count

Secondly, easy for you to say! Because you are not the one in the situation. If you have been threatened by your wife before with a knife do share your experience. If not, why should anyone regard your own advice?

Then most importantly, how should she "fight" for what she has worked for exactly? Like, what should she do? You just sounded like a politician "vote me in and I'll make you comfortable", by doing what??

I know maybe the response will be the hypocritical "pray for him, it is well" but if not, tell her how exactly she should "fight" taking into account the little child.

Then I guess that for every quarrel at home the first point of call is to abandon one's marriage - Everyone would end up divorced then because it is practically impossible to stay with another human being under the same roof without one of the parties involved not losing it completely one day and that isn't the end of the world.
Well, like I said before you guys only heard the op's version and I know that you are aware that anytime people have any problem ,they all have an explanation that would make them appear as the angel while the other fellow is always the devil - But as humans with some level of intelligence it is absolutely ridiculous to encourage a divorce just like that when you have no idea of what transpired but again it is the op's decision and not mine neither yours so stop the rants.

Truckpusher:
Then I guess that for every quarrel at home the first point of call is to abandon one's marriage - Everyone would end up divorced then because it is practically impossible to stay with another human being under the same roof without one of the parties involved not losing it completely one day and that isn't the end of the world.
Well, like I said before you guys only heard the op's version and I know that you are aware that anytime people have any problem ,they all have an explanation that would make them appear as the angel while the other fellow is always the devil - But as humans with some level of intelligence it is absolutely ridiculous to encourage a divorce just like that when you have no idea of what transpired but again it is the op's decision and not mine neither yours so stop the rants.

Yep, I know I'm ranting probably because I'm still awake by this time (no thanks to my neighbors). But more than that, you started by watering down every other person who said she should leave and then really didn't say anything.

You didn't address all the questions in my post but then I guess I know why.

Btw, I didn't ask her to leave her home or get a divorce. But just wait until someone threatens to murder you(no matter what you did), if your first instinct will not be to steer clear.

Adaeze003:


Yep, I know I'm ranting probably because I'm still awake by this time (no thanks to my neighbors). But more than that, you started by watering down every other person who said she should leave and then really didn't say anything.

You didn't address all the questions in my post but then I guess I know why.

Btw, I didn't ask her to leave her home or get a divorce. But just wait until someone threatens to murder you(no matter what you did), if your first instinct will not be to steer clear.

Lol, you have one hell of a neighbor then.

Well, in cases that concerns a husband and a wife it is important to understand that being too forward with it has always been a disaster.

I believe she has a family and her husband has a family too and it is important for her to get everyone involved because I believe that there are some persons in both families that has the capacity to summons her husband and this issue thoroughly discussed and solution would be proffered rather than come to the internet to seek for advice from some people with a twisted ideology about marriage and some people that has nothing to offer but stuck with a crazy mentality of ''run away and leave him or her'' syndrome as if the next man or woman they will meet would become an angel.

My friend ,the first point of call when trouble shows up in any marriage is not to run away from home - But to seek redress.

sunshan:
.

My dear, you've not told us the whole story.

Now I see Truckpusher's POV

kaboninc:


My dear, you've not told us the whole story.

Now I see Truckpusher's POV

I also see trucky POV but you should know,i don't usually ask a woman to leave her matrimonial home because of a little quarrel or so.

This man threatens to kill her not once but many times,and honestly no matter what she did even if the husband has his own story,as long as he threatened to kill her and the baby,i will never ask such woman to stay and fight.She can always fight from a safe place.

Their families are there for that,once he is calm and agrees that he is going to deal with his problems while the wife deals with hers too.

They have a little kid,don't you think that kid needs protection.

This post came right after i read this story.

Limpopo - Lorraine Kekana, 30, was made to listen to the groans of her four dying children who had just had their throats slit, allegedly by their father.

Minutes before, her husband had allegedly phoned her to ask whether she had any final words for her children before they died.

The four boys, aged 13, 10, six and four, were killed on Sunday morning at their home in Moletlane village in Limpopo’s Zebediela area.

Two of the boys were killed inside the sitting room and the other two in their bedroom.

Sitting hundreds of kilometres away in Pretoria, Kekana dropped the phone in shock.

Her husband can’t be named until he appears in court.

On Monday, Kekana couldn’t hold back the tears as she recalled the gruesome murder of her four boys.



Moments after the phone call, Kekana phoned her neighbour and asked her to find out what had happened.

“I phoned her back and she said all the children had died,” said the grieving mother.

Again she dropped the phone in shock. “I phoned her back to ask where my husband was and she said he’d gone into a room and he had blood on his clothes.”



He was later found in his bedroom with injuries to his throat in what appeared to be a failed suicide attempt.

Limpopo police spokeswoman Colonel Ronel Otto said the 36-year-old man was recovering in hospital under police guard.

“As soon as he is well enough, he will appear in court on four counts of murder,” said Otto.

On Monday, Kekana lamented her tragic loss. She had earlier cried out aloud when Limpopo Safety MEC Mapula Mokaba-Phukwana, who had visited the family, spoke to her.

Speaking to The Star later, she said: “I’m numb. No amount of tears will bring back my children. How am I going to live in this house all alone? I had never prepared to bury all my four children at once.”

Kekana said her husband had phoned her earlier to tell her he wished he had crashed his car – with the children inside – into a a truck.

She said that on Saturday night he had driven with their children from Pretoria after his uncle had successfully mediated a domestic dispute between them. “When he left, we had resolved our dispute and we were all happy,” said Kekana.

Or so she thought.

Her husband had arrived in Zebediela early on Sunday morning, after he had left Pretoria on Saturday night with other ideas.

“I wish him to recover from his injuries so that I can ask him why he killed my children.”

The couple had been married since 2009, and she described him as a cool-headed man.

“He was cool. Although we had arguments, he never showed signs of aggression.”

The man’s father, Phineus Kekana, said his son was a churchgoing man. “I also wish him to get well and come back to answer for what he did,” said Phineus.

Now this is what we should avoid.Nobody knows when and how it happens until it happens.

Truckpusher:
Most people in an online forum actually think that they have an opinion when it comes to relationships and marriages.

You guys haven't heard from the op's husband and listen to his own side of the story but right here you guys are already advising the op to run away from her marriage as if any little problem with any marriage the only solution is total dissolution of such union.

Op ,kindly go back to your house and figure out how you guys ended up this way because one thing I can assure you is that most people that appears to be happily married do have problems that are much more bigger than whatever you think you're into right now. And your topic talked about being cheated on but gradually migrated to domestic violence and threat to life.

Go home and fight for what you believed in and worked so hard to achieve - Do not put yourself in an awkward position that would present to your husband the opportunity to raise his hand on you and that solely lies on your tongue.

There is no perfect marriage and it is usually different strokes for different folks.

did you read where she said the husband carrys knife when she wants to leave and that the other time she left, he. Met her on the way and started dragging the baby This kind of men are naturally violence irrespective of what a woman does, they brings up quarrel at anytime and always provoked at slightest provocation.... I assure you the man has exhibited one or two things of this nature while they were dating which the woman overlooked and thought it was not his true self or he will change. ..there are some attitudes that are adjustable in marriage but this this unshameful act looking for who to disgrace here and there and please, if you ve a relative that the partner possess these attitude, please don't advice her to go back because it's suicidal I tell you

Idowuogbo:

Have you met this man? Have you heard his side of the story? Y'all just jump in and pick sides without thinking the whole story through. Just listen to yourself ,you need a world without them? You are fatherless ba?

this matter is a very sensitive one and you don't need to hear from that abuser, what on earth will a woman do that will make the husband to carry knife when she said she's leaving or start dragging the baby from her Haba, my dear, if you encounter these types of men, you won't have an option than to run for your dear life

Missmossy:
Flee from him, before he kills you in a very tactical way though. He mustn't sense it. You both haven't been married for six months yet. Its so saddening how marriages break up. I often say men who drink surely one way or the other would flirt around. Being in the bar isn't a child's play.


I really doubt if he has emotions running through his vein. He still went ahead to threaten you, now that's scary. God help the female folks from men like these.

you must be an experienced and mature lady to have typed this, don't mind the ones saying they have to hear from the husbands mouth before they believe... am not too interested in the cheating part but the violence aspect

I kinda have a funny feeling this woman is exaggerating the story cause I still don't get how he changed into such monster ( cause to me that's how you have painted this man ) over night to the point of bringing a knife and taking his own child to the orphanage.

Is it that you refused to see the violent part of him before marriage and still went ahead or you have been provoking him long before now A gentle and responsible man wunt just grow into a monster in hours, it builds up and you are yet to say the truth about what's really happening. You have only come here to make yourself all saint.

I am not saying what the man is doing is right oo but before you get a solution you need to open it all up and find the ruth of the fault in your marriage. In the meantime,take your child away from danger and then bring your home back to what it used to be.

Its your choice and your home anyways and your home. You can do as you please. Best of luck.

edwife:


I also see trucky POV but you should know,i don't usually ask a woman to leave her matrimonial home because of a little quarrel or so.

This man threatens to kill her not once but many times,and honestly no matter what she did even if the husband has his own story,as long as he threatened to kill her and the baby,i will never ask such woman to stay and fight.She can always fight from a safe place.

Their families are there for that,once he is calm and agrees that he is going to deal with his problems while the wife deals with hers too.

They have a little kid,don't you think that kid needs protection.

This post came right after i read this story.



Now this is what we should avoid.Nobody knows when and how it happens until it happens.

Yes I strongly agree with you.

Absolutely.

She can go to a safe place with her baby. Only the living can tell a story.

But if she wants any form of meaningful advice, she should tell us what really happened....that's my position.

I don't think your hubby's behaviour just changed after childbirth except you're not telling us the full story.
This kind of behaviour doesn't just come out of the blues.

For the sake of your safety,go back to your mum's place and remain there till your hubby sorts himself out.