This is culled from last Thursday's Punch newspaper. i find it helpful and timely. Hope it is to you too..

Chude is planning a trip to the village this yuletide season and has got it worked out but he is yet to figure out where to get the N1m he calculates he needs to travel with. He arrived at that figure after spending time consulting with family members in Abuja and in the village. The bulk of it will be spent as part of his contribution towards the burial of a senior member of his extended family. As the shining light of the family, he has little choice but to take responsibility even though the person who died wasn’t a direct relative.
Amongst the items he needs to spend money on are asoebi, cow, alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks, transport, food, among others. Any attempt to strike out any amount on that list is tantamount to a huge embarrassment to himself and his extended family. He had to perform even if it means borrowing from the bank.
Chude’s experience is not peculiar to him alone. A recent survey also suggests that the biggest risk to household income in Nigeria is illness or the death of a relative. This is because Nigerians spend a fortune on ceremonies especially burial ceremonies.
So much fanfare and tradition is attached to it that makes me wonder if we really need to spend all that money. Is there a better way of burying our loved ones in a dignifying manner?
Should the need to fulfil traditional rites always mean we must spend all our savings and even borrow just to comply? I personally believe that should not be the case as whatever situation you find yourself in financially should influence how much you should spend. Here are a few suggestions to spend reasonably;

Budget
The first amount you spend on burials are typical mortuary costs. So more often than not it is not budgeted for. However, every other thing you have to do should be included in a well prepared budget. I know budgets are boring and most don’t adhere to it. But think of it as a reality check and guide and you will appreciate how useful it can be. A budget is typically the first place to show signs that you might not be able to afford an elaborate burial ceremony.

Borrowing
I do understand that a need to bury a loved one may occur at a time of the month or year where cash flow is usually low. This could lead to the need to borrow some money from family or friends just to fund the burial expenses. However, what we shouldn’t do is borrowing an amount that we obviously cannot repay during the promised payback period.
Why ask for a loan of N1m to bury a loved one when your monthly income is just N200, 000? Another thing to avoid is borrowing from banks to finance a burial.
The interest rate element of such borrowing just makes it a disincentive for me and should be avoided at all costs.

Selling an asset
I have also heard of some people who would rather than not give a befitting burial, sell a valuable asset such as gold, cars or even a house just to fund a burial. I do not have issues with that provided you don’t go broke immediately afterwards. Sometimes, you wonder why that gesture could not be extended to the dead relative when they were alive.
I feel the tough question to ask yourself in that situation should be, would I sell this asset and give the cash to my relative if he or she were alive? If the answer is no, then I do not think selling your asset makes sense. But then, it is just my opinion.

Aso-ebi
This has become a very significant part of ceremonies across Nigeria. Be it a wedding, party, graduation, burial etc. People spend thousands of naira buying dresses in solidarity with a friend or loved one who is grieving or celebrating. I also do not have any issues with this provided it is not compulsory.
I have heard that some people use it as a way to help cover ceremony expenses. If that is the case, and your friends and family are happy to spend money on asoebi on your behalf, then the better for you.

Insurance
The insurance industry in Nigeria is coming of age and regularly introduce various insurance products. One of those I have heard of is insurance for burial expenses. I think it is a nice product to buy, if available, as death is as sure as anything else that could happen in life. In exchange for a premium you get a huge chunk of money to cater for burial expenses when they do occur.

Entertainment
This is perhaps the aspect of burial expenses that take up most of the cash. There are some burials you attend that make you wonder if you are in a party. I believe the amount you spend on entertainment depends on how solemn or grandeur you want the burial ceremony to be.
If you have the cash and want a lavish ceremony for a loved one then go ahead. However, if you do not have the cash there is no point trying to please anyone because what you end up doing is creating another problem for yourself.

What’s your experience with burials?

Is all about mind set come to think of it, the main expenses in a burial is the cost of coffin and perhaps the mortuary bill and ambulance cost.
Others are ceremony. To me, I think there are better ways to display wealth rather than a burial ceremony.

i thought burial is a time of mourning?
where then does all the partying and stuff come in? Ever witnessed a burial abroad? smh...for our mentality!

abi o, I still don't understand how people are able to cry one minute and the other minute dancing, eating, and spraying cash on themselves. But then its a culture that has refused to fade away.

In Ghana, burial can take up to 5 days.

Wilcox, you are right. But how does one have her/his way in one's father's funeral if that one is among many other siblings, who are probably bent on doing things as required by our society and culture?

Is it by force to spend?

Who die don die.

If the dead person was very old and has children that are doing very well, and they wish to spend the cash, no problem.


If not,do only the simple necessary things, with little budget and move on.

Blackman mentality.

Some people feel that if you don't do it the way another person did, you've not given your parent or whoever is involved a befitting burial.

This person is dead for crying out loud...

Some children don't even care for their parents when they are alive but are ready to spend a fortune for burial when these parents finally give up the ghost.