cococandy:

Yet you're the good guy and she's the bad one.
Why is that so?

Because in our part of the world, it's always the woman/girls fault.

When you type, it's comment.
When others type it's rant.

Mtchew

pickabeau1:


All these rants on top simple issue

Society actually did make sure young men are responsible by making it almost impossible to sleep with a woman outside marriage
The alternative was räpe which had serious consequences

Modernisation led to the license the have nowadays

brocode take the child for a DNA test.
Don't let her pick the hopsital or meet the doctor before or after the test.

Sex is meant for the married..
Always remember.

brocode:
Okay, first of all I know lots of people talk crap just to sound funny here. I get that, its good for the forum but this is a serious situation and am seeking real conversations and advice, possibly legal on this issue.

I am a young graduate working in Abuja after my service. It was tough but I rather be up to something than go stay with my folks back home. I work seven days a week and didnt have time much for dating any girl since I just started out at the labour market. I really wanted to get it right. I always give my best to everything I do. I graduated with flying colours and am used to been at the top of my game in every situation so thats why this is hard and I had to share.

Sometimes last year I was travelling out of Abuja to see some relatives and I met a girl on the bus. It was at least a 4-5 hours journey. She was sitting right next to me, so as not to make the journey boring we started a conversation. I could see immediately she likes me but I played it gently and kept it casual till our destination. Anyways, I value friendship particularly with a girl. I have been friends with some other girl since after secondary school and we still talk normally, nothing sexual. Just to paint a picture of my kind of person. Anyways I got her number, got a good peck and that was it.

She had said something about going to pay some visit but something told me she wasnt who she was painting herself as and that she was probably travelling out of town to get the D possibly for dough. I dont usually judge people so I made her comfortable even when I could see between her stories. I was full of energy and made her laugh a lot and she then even said she wants to travel to my part of the town to come see me but I didnt want her to as I only get a fews days out of town, I wanted to make the most of it with my relatives.

Long story short, I returned to Abuja and continued the hustles. She kept in touch on WhatsApp and with calls though. After much insistance I promised to let her come over when I came to town. Almost one months after I returned I still didnt find time and wasnt very keen on seeing her but I was still very nice and keep the conversations going on WhatsApp.

After a few weeks I had problems with my boss and had to quit my job because of unpaid salaries and the strain of the work. It was a very tough few weeks of my life. I didnt even have where to stay at some point but finally I was squarting with some guy. After a few days, he travelled out of town so I had the place to myself and doing nothing all day but sitting on my PC trying to build somethings or walk my way up to the next connect, I asked her to come over.

She did and spent the night. It was a way of getting my frustration of my unpaid salaries out of the way. As God would have it one of my hustles pulled through a few days after and I had to leave for Europe for further studies. I still kept in touch with this girl on WhatsApp just like other folks in my life. I wasnt expecting to travel so soon and had less than a week to prepare.

We exchanged a few messages everyday and it became less and less as the week goes by. But we still talk every now and then at least four out of seven day a week. We even exchanged pictures but while I send pictures I take like selfies she was sending me old pictures I have seen before on her phone. I asked her to take a picture of her she looked then and send to me. She did after much persuations. I noticed she was a bit plumpy and I asked her about it and she said she was fine and she was just eating a lot. I sensed she was pregnant, I asked her but she said no she wasnt. That was like five months after I left Nigeria. I was worried because I remember sometime in the morning while she was at my place, she was begging that since she didnt make me 'come' its wasnt fair as she cant even walk now and all and that I did a fantastic job and all... blah blah blah. I now had a run without condom after we had this weird conversation about the medical consequences but she brought out bitter kola and eat and said pregnancy wouldnt be it except something else. Long story short, I did it in the morning.

I was asking her about it for the next few days after I saw the pictures but she denied it saying we cant even be together so why would she keep my baby as am more of career guy and student now. I let matters lie. No need worrying myself so I thought. I need to focus on what brought me to Europe. I felt she was a bit hostile so I reduced the frequency of our conversations and also because I had switched my WhatsApp to a the foriegn number.

Then after a few weeks back I contacted her again on WhatsApp as I was on summer break and was trying to catch up with everybody back home. I was in a good mood so I joked with her that does she have a baby now. To my shock She said YES! and that she was sure it was my baby and she was sorry she hide it from me all this while but I dont have to worry about him as she was used to it now: surviving with the baby (or at least that what I think she meant). She asked weather I wanted to see a picture of this child. In my shocked I pleaded with her that that wasnt funny as am not ready to be a dad yet as I didnt want my child to go through what I had to go through and all. She got mad and said she knew I wasnt going to be with her and all and what kind of man doesnt even care about his family and all... so much blah blah blah.

Now I am nice guy. If I have a son, that means I have to step up to the responsiblity. I feel she is a very wicked person for doing this. I want my son to have the best up bringing. I could send all I have now to give him that but at the same time I dont know what to do. I dont what my son to grow up with her. My psychology and personality which my mum greatly help me build was what took me from a nobody to a fairly recognised person across the atlantic. I want my son to have that at least. And I know for sure she wouldnt give him that.

PLEASE ADVICE on what to do.
Thank You.

I doubt it's your baby, she wants to guilt trip you into sending Euros, do not fall for it

The baby is most likely not yours. Be wise!

brocode:


If you gat your game up, you can get laid in less than 3hours of conversation. That doesnt mean u re bad, it means you are man enough. BAD would have been going one round at least when we got to our destinations before we part ways.

Go and provide for your kid instead of beating your chest Tarzan like, online.

If what u narrated is true, its likely she conned u into sleeping with her after she missed her period few days prior to d act. Or she got pregnant after d act but isn't sure who d father is as she has unprotected sex with men. Don't send her any money till u're certain d child is urs, get a frd to send u d child's samples. Ur frd shld even be there when she's swapping d samples n send it to u. If she refuses to send d child's sample, its certain she is afraid dt she'll soon be caught n might refuse d test. If she refuses, cut her off ur life, d baby then isn't yours.

janejive:
If what u narrated is true, its likely she conned u into sleeping with her after she missed her period few days prior to d act. Or she got pregnant after d act but isn't sure who d father is as she has unprotected sex with men. Don't send her any money till u're certain d child is urs, get a frd to send u d child's samples. Ur frd shld even be there when she's swapping d samples n send it to u. If she refuses to send d child's sample, its certain she is afraid dt she'll soon be caught n might refuse d test. If she refuses, cut her off ur life, d baby then isn't yours.

Thanks