Your opinions please folks !

Hum. Bad thing!

Just my opinion but I think it's a bad thing. It can hold you back from meeting wonderful people and taking advantage of great opportuities.

I used to be terribly shy. Now, I've gotten a lot better.

Meaning now it's you who is approaching a guy ?

Now I don't have a problem approaching anyone. I'd even strike up a conversation with someone waiting in line with me. I enjoy meeting new people.

Good !

its bad

Well, I'm very shy. I can't help it.

I just sneaked in to drop my view on this subject matter.

Shyness is simply due to low self esteem or should I put it more mildly. It's a simply a low measure of one's ability/confidence in himself/herself.
I've discovered that you'll only die in silence if you don't get to do or say what you have to irrespective of whoever is present. You'll go back to your shell and regret not saying something.

Life's too short to be shy. No one can crucify you if you speak your mind, so, get out of it by b[b]elieving[/b] in your God-given abilities.

Perhaps the first step towards overcoming shyness is to learn to be less critical of others.  When you're less critical of others, you'll be less afraid of others criticizing you?

Seun, I don't believe that you ever stop being shy (or feeling uncomfortable around others, especially strangers). I just think that you learn (and get better) at controlling and moderating your behaviour and responses in scenarios where your shyness would show itself. You eventually get to do this so well that when you tell people you're shy, they say "It's a lie!" I should know - I've progressed through these stages myself.

One of the things that helped me deal with my shyness was realising that I am actually very [b]un[/b]shy in settings where there there are specific objectives to be achieved, e.g. giving a speech, working on a project with people, etc. What happens there is that I'm focused on achieving the objective, so I don't have the time to do all the worrying and over-analysis that comes with shyness. On the other hand, the scenarios that bring out my shyness are unscripted scenarios where there is no formal agenda (e.g. social events, weddings, etc. where you are just supposed to mill around and talk). So what I end up doing is to turn these events into projects where the objective is to chat with people and find out as much about them as they care to reveal (to my credit, one of my greatest strengths is that I'm a very good conversationalist).

I'm more of a shy person.  I discover that the older I get the less shy I become.  No, I'm not more social, I'm just more confident in my way of seeing things and care much less what people think about me.  However, I'm still very much inhibited when I'm having conversations with people who have more power over me than I have over them.

That's pretty much the story of my life, except that I don't feel inhibited talking with people who have power over me. As mentioned above, I just chat with them to find out as much about them as they care to reveal, and I find that the tension flows away.

Shyness is a bad thing.  But it's more like a disability than a sin.  When I was in school, there a fellowship teacher who treated me as if my shyness was a sin or evil on my part, and of course this made me even more shy!  He was ignorant, because guilt is not the answer to shyness.  If you build someone's confidence by always saying positive things to the person the shyness will start to evaporate!

I don't think that shyness is all bad. One good thing about it is that you tend to introspect and think things over a lot more; another is that you are more cautious and guarded with your utterances; and yet another thing is that you are more emotionally independent (since you are more used to being by yourself than someone who usually has flocks of people gathering around them).

In fact, I don't believe that shyness would be an issue if other people did not turn it into an issue by glamorising people who are the life and soul of the party and mocking those who prefer their own company. However, I do acknowledge that if you want to meet people but feel that your shyness hinders you from doing this, then yes - it can be something of a disability.

being shy is a good thing to me, because I like shy guy
and sometime I'm shy

Shyness is on two basis, is good sometimes and sometimes Bad

I don't think its good or bad, just that its better to be free with people!

Being shy is a very, very, very, very, very, very bad thing. I am talking form experience! i have missed so many opportunities because of it.

Believe it or not some years back i missed a modelling offer made my Noami Campbell's mum and another agent (can't remember his name) because of my stupidity shyness.

You know it's always better to try and fail rather than not trying at all due to shyness. Do you know that shyness makes one look clumsy?It makes one seem inefficient and sometimes dumb? you know what to say but too shy to say it, you're intrested in something yet you can't speak out, you know how to dance but too shy to dance and be hot in a party! etc

I hate being shy and i am seriously working on it.

Seun:

Perhaps the first step towards overcoming shyness is to learn to be less critical of others. When you're less critical of others, you'll be less afraid of others criticizing you?

Exactly! I think this is my main reason for being shy.

It's terribly bad, it kills your expressions, emotions, visions and dreams.
Can't be an achiever, it leads to loneliness and can be a silent killer,
WATCH OUT AND WAKE UP!

well let me say being shy is not as bad as people make it sound

AngelaZ:

It's terribly bad, it kills your expressions, emotions, visions and dreams.
Can't be an achiever, it leads to loneliness and can be a silent killer,
WATCH OUT AND WAKE UP!

I for one I'm a shy person it helps me in a way cos i really select my friends very well and anywhere i go i look around before i mix up this has helped me a lot cos it does not take me time to read people even though i can keep to my self a lot i have friends and very good ones too and i say my mind too much sef, even though i am a very patient person when i get tired of being patient i blow up and it is terrible.

I therefore do not think that being shy as Angelz put it please take a closer look and I'm sure you'll discover differently.

Dorcas:

well let me say being shy is not as bad as people make it sound I for one I'm a shy person it helps me in a way because i really select my friends very well and anywhere i go i look around before i mix up this has helped me a lot because it does not take me time to read people even though i can keep to my self a lot i have friends and very good ones too and i say my mind too much sef, even though i am a very patient person when i get tired of being patient i blow up and it is terrible.

I therefore do not think that being shy as Angelz put it please take a closer look and I'm sure you'll discover differently.

Being meticulous and being shy are two different things, and it does not sound as if you are shy.
Shy means to be unnerved by the company or attention of others, to be easily scared; bashful or timid,
to be wary or distrustful. Now I ask, Dorcas are you Shy?

Itz not too good to be shy
it cud cost u a wonderful
OPPORTUNITY.

It is only a fool who kept silent when intimidated. How can somebody tell me that he or she is being intimidated, and she knows what to say and how to say, but the problem is how to say it in the name of being shy. Haa l'm afriadooooooooooooo.

Oneday somebody will loss his or her opportunity because he or she is too shy to grab it.

Been shy is a bad thing.Before i used to be very shy,
but now is not like that again.

i agree with king's comment. i also feel seun's emotions. but the truth about shy people is that no matter how hard they try to get out of the attitude, it always elopes someday. its really like a disability but it can be masked.

i know i can be quite shy i personally don't know if that is i good or a bad thing but everyone has their own oppions. i start off very shy when i meet someone and after the first 10 minutes i'm fine i will usally feel comfortable with the person i am with and get to know them better. however you you really know and i mean really know i sometimes start to speak my own mine and well some people like that and some people don't; i'm not going to change that if someone doesn't like as that who i am.

esiayo:

i agree with king's comment. i also feel seun's emotions. but the truth about shy people is that no matter how hard they try to get out of the attitude, it always elopes someday. its really like a disability but it can be masked.

Been shy is not a disability, its a behaviour which can be changed, we're all born with a clean slate and we pick up different types of behaviour based on our experiences and exposure.
There's nothing wrong in been shy per se, it only becomes a problem when it interferes or stops you from living a normal happy life or achieving your goals in life. There are a lot of succesful people who were shy and awkward growing up (examples: Bill Gates, Michael Jackson)

The trick to overcoming shyness is to stop the self criticism, over analysis and don't be too hard on yourself. Accept yourself for who you are and learn to step out of your comfort zone (by taking up new hobbies, learning new skills and doing the things you are normally scared of doing). With time you'll become more self assured and confident of who you are.

yes i agree too.

ijebuman:


...There's nothing wrong in been shy per se, it only becomes a problem when it interferes or stops you from living a normal happy life or achieving your goals in life. The trick to overcoming shyness is to stop the self criticism, over analysis and don't be too hard on yourself. Accept yourself for who you are and learn to step out of your comfort zone (by taking up new hobbies, learning new skills and doing the things you are normally scared of doing). With time you'll become more self assured and confident of who you are.

Sweetheart, that's what makes it bad, it is THE problem. We are saying the same thing.

When someone gives you advice, always ask:
1) Do you have experience in this matter?
2) If not, did you get this idea from someone who has experience in the matter?
3) If not, why don't you just keep quiet?

Ijebuman, I don't think you're qualified to make such sweeping statements. I wonder if you also believe that: (a) Leopards can become lions by erasing their spots and growing manes. (b) Pigs can fly once they decide to grow wings!

Seun:

When someone gives you advice, always ask:
1) Do you have experience in this matter?
2) If not, did you get this idea from someone who has experience in the matter?
3) If not, why don't you just keep quiet?

Ijebuman, I don't think you're qualified to make such sweeping statements. I wonder if you also believe that: (a) Leopards can become lions by erasing their spots and growing manes. (b) Pigs can fly once they decide to grow wings!

wow thanks thats a bit harsh but you do have a point.  I'm not trying to come across as some 'know it all' and anything i say here is from my own personal experience. I'm not giving anyone advise here, my previous post did not refer to anybody.
My point was that being shy should not be seen as a disability as anything that was 'learned' can be 'unlearned'. It is hard work but it can be done

I used to be extremely shy as a teenager and i did not have a lot of friends. I used to compare myself to other kids and of course that made me feel worse about myself. And then as i got older i realised why i was 'shy'. I was shy because i felt i was different from everyone else but the thing is we're all the same.

What i mentioned in my previous post were the ways i overcame my own shyness by doing things i was afraid of doing, like learning to swim, salsa dancing, learning a foreign language, giving a speech in front of a large audience, kick boxing etc.
I learnt that by doing the things i was scared of I expanded my 'comfort zone' and became more self assured. I can tell you today that i am no longer a shy person 

As regards to qualifications, i studied sociology and psychology many moons ago and have attended many Self motivational seminars organised by ISA - Institute for Self Actualisation http://www.isaexperience.com/

Please accept my apology. It's just that I am less of a shy person today and it has little to do with the process you've described. I guess this shows that there is more than one way to skin a cat!

Seun:

Please accept my apology. It's just that I am less of a shy person today and it has little to do with the process you've described. I guess this shows that there is more than one way to skin a cat!

No probs mate, you see thats the great thing about this forum, because we can discuss issues like this and who knows someone out there may actually learn something from it.
It'll be great to hear the ways or methods in which you have overcome shyness, like you rightly said 'there is more than one way to skin a cat!'

Shy is not good and will never be good. l know of a girl who don't walk alone in the street. whenever she wants to go out, her money for bike must be down if not no movement. even if somebody is dieing so far there is no money for transport let the person die.

All in the name of been shy. she said that people look at her when she walks on the road and when they look at her, she will no longer control her steps. l no many of us will not believe this but it is real.

Don't you think that this girl is in a bondage, so if you are shy you are living in a bondage you better help yourself and come out of it.