AWESOMENESS OF GOD

I woke up feeling sad,
And as I went to the window,
A beautiful scene caught my attention,
There on the leaves of clustered trees,
Were a circle of white coloured birds,
They were all chirping in unison,
Their voices singing the same tone,
Not one voice fell out of tune,
They bowed their heads,
Never lifting them up,
Continued in this beautiful ritual,
Then I heard quietness,
Their voices stopped at the same time,
No voice stopped before the others,
And none was the last,
One by one each bird flew away,
That was when I found myself,
Thanking God for a beautiful day.

Nice one Bro, I also have collection.







Writing be it poem or anything soothes the mind.

Hello, Pls am female o.

you still learning to write....your poem didnt have unity....i found them trying so hard to fit in as i pronounce the sounds...the key to writting is not the words but the sounds it makes like a rhythm.....so i will rate you from 1-10 to be a 3....sorry if you dont like it

Thanks for your responses!

@ Chommieblaq, hope u don't mind d correction

@ deflover, I really do appreciate your sincere feedback, I am a science oriented individual but with a natural passion for art, literature and writing. If you don't mind, let me send another poem with a rhythmic background and maybe this time I will get a better score, that is, if you don't mind reading it.

Cheers.

RICHC:
Thanks for your responses!
@ Chommieblaq, hope u don't mind d correction
@ deflover, I really do appreciate your sincere feedback, I am a science oriented individual but with a natural passion for art, literature and writing. If you don't mind, let me send another poem with a rhythmic background and maybe this time I will get a better score, that is, if you don't mind reading it.
Cheers.

writing is not based on the field you belong to....i am also from the sciences but i write really good.....you can find some of my works here on NL......so giving me dat line wont pass......

topic was MY BEST SEX EVER.......read and listen to the sounds in it



As the sun yawns that day,her hair reflects droplets of golden bubbles.she was graced in fine cottons,that adored her well shaped body. I looked at the heavens, as I sucked her pear-shaped breasts. She is my very first lover, and taught me the ways of a woman. She had three gates that leads to her mansion, and I was guided by manners, all through her doctrines.
Her hands were warm with friendship,and carried the youthfulness of pleasure. She asked to be treated nicely, so I can enjoy her closely whenever she spreads her arms to hold me, because it brings the freshness of mornings.
Her lips were the paths of pleasure, and also the sting of many venom. They part to melt the hearts of teens, to show the ways of lovers.
Her neck was made of golden ice,which tasted like minted apples. As I kissed her narrow road, down the path of drumming heart, I hear the eruptions of passion which parts her pinky petals guarded by more than a dozen pearls.
Her hips jerks to hit mine,as her legs parts to embrace my lower body.As if by surprise her guards were shaken, they come rushing back together, but missing their rightful stations,because the upper pearls dug deep at her lower petals.
Looking above the hills of her drumming heart,I see the two moons shading their unclothedness,as the pearls dig deeper at the lower petals. A heat wave oozes out of her shattered rocky petals,as she squeezes and claws at my rigid back.
In the heat of passion,with the coldness of pleasure,I let myself slide down the gates of her mansion,to discover the pleasures that await within her scented walls.
The interior is graced with creamy flavored spices,as our bodies are hit with a thousand lightening. As we move in one rhythm,and let out pangs of heat in oneness,I knew this moment will always be my best sex ever.....

Circle of Life

I am beginning to dislike it,
As it is becoming a habit
Which brings me no profit?
So I have to break from it
For I sit all day pondering
At the ways of men wondering
Why they love and hate each other
Why they place fellow men in order
Why talk of peace and kill each other
Why accumulate so many and give nothing
To the poor who seek for something
So many whys and no answers to them
Any wonder my brain complains?
Because it is under strain?
So I have to let go of these thoughts
And watch on the circle of life.

RICHC:

Circle of Life
I am beginning to dislike it,
As it is becoming a habit
Which brings me no profit?
So I have to break from it
For I sit all day pondering
At the ways of men wondering
Why they love and hate each other
Why they place fellow men in order
Why talk of peace and kill each other
Why accumulate so many and give nothing
To the poor who seek for something
So many whys and no answers to them
Any wonder my brain complains?
Because it is under strain?
So I have to let go of these thoughts
And watch on the circle of life.

i have a problem with the repeating of sounds .....if you are trying so hard to write a sonnet then you are not doing it well.....your poem really doesnt carry much message....i like that you are trying to write but i think sometimes all you need to do is look to nature......nature can open your minds to writing....i will give you an example.....instead of saying the winds are blowing the leaves of a tree....i will say the winds are flipping the pages of the trees.....you have to learn to say your words in codes....thats the real trick here.....a writer is like a painter....every stroke of the brush must come with illusions.....if you cant hide your words then your poem wont be worth reading

this one is called Rhythm of the sun


As the sun ascends its throne, the birds welcome him with trumpets, singing praises of victories. The nights and moon mounting guard for the dark, are overwhelmed by his strengths, as if they were not warned of their impending doom, by the cock crowing on the roof top.
The winds, whispers in fear, as the dew withdraws in its shyness, after giving the grasses showers of freshness. As I watched the glory of the sun, a wave of coolness from the burning vessels in its temples, bakes the earth in its softness. The field is clothed with flowers, as the butterfly fills its drums with nectar, while the ants withdraw to its mountains.
The sun ascends slowly, as he must be a guide to the village duties. He works with strength, so by trick, he awaits his timely defeat, so that the rhythm of the sun can begin again, by the morning.

this one is called.....there was a girl i used to know

The whip of the rain, the sting of the sun,
Cannot be compared to the hurt I feel.
My drumming heart has not been played, as long as your loving gaze is far.
This drum of life cannot be heard, for the path that leads to you is webbed. I miss the look from your shinning moons, and cannot forget your more than a dozen pearls.

The scent of you, does grace my head.
The touch of you, sends chills my spine.
The field is dry, the rain is late, I use my strength, I faint again.
I came to gain but loose the game. How can I behold you again.

so Richy girl can you hear the sounds in these poems

thats what writing is about.....sounds and hidden codes.....if you keep writing in plain english then no one will see it as art ...you need to learn to use nature to be your stage where you can play with words so that a person reading it will see the beauty in what you do

Ok boss! @ deflover, I earnestly appreciate your interest in making me a better writer! After reading your story, I could really come to understand what you have been trying to open my eyes to and the message therein. There is need for a flow from the 1st line to the last and the message has to be beautifully deciphered by the reader! I do hope to find the time to sit and do a proper writing.

Thank you once again.

Ok deflover, I get the message, will certainly work on my writing skills. I am thinking its probably because I don't read literary books or works which I am sure you do! I just have the love but there is need to grasp the basics.

RICHC:
Ok deflover, I get the message, will certainly work on my writing skills. I am thinking its probably because I don't read literary books or works which I am sure you do! I just have the love but there is need to grasp the basics.

yeah i read alot of works of other writers.....you cant be a writer if you dont study others....having love to write is not enough.....pick up songs from usher and different artist.....you will find codes in their songs too.....watch good movies....not home videos....i mean movies with epic written all over it....read articles....buy novels....anger,love and pain is always a trigger for me to start writing.....i dont know what rocks your boat but find that emotion that makes you write and use it once it comes up.....cheers