*funny thing is I was just talking about my haters on im with someone yesterday

jenni, shey na you be topic of the day?

ThiefOfHearts:

jenni, shey na you be topic of the day?  :Djavascript:void(0);

e be like say oooo

like i care


sista woman continue with the yim oooo, those people u r doing the yim will soon come and talk ,once theres a misunderstanding


na today?wetin yim never cause for this forum? everything is being tabled and thrashed out on NL

Its not hate Sisterwoman but you dont need to make people in already bleeped up situations feel any worst. Osisi for example is married and her marriage as far as we know is solid and strong but it sounds normal we dont get mad outbursts of how amazing her husband is every 45secs.

On a serious note I really panic when people in "love" get tattoos of each others names, talk about each other 24/7 to other people like there is no other subject. Declare their love 34585040359349 times a day honestly it all ends up doomed in the end. And this your greencard loff. . .Imma bitch I know its just reality

*sigh*

Does how we met really matter?

I think how we finish truely matters.

I dont think i am being deceptive at all.  Yes everyone knows how and why we met.  What you fail to realize and appreciate is the love story behind our meeting.

PS.  I talk about my kids in real life far more than i could ever talk about hubby.  I use yall to talk about him.

amebo no1.:

e be like say oooo

like i care


sista woman continue with the yim oooo, those people u r doing the yim will soon come and talk ,once theres a misunderstanding


na today?wetin yim never cause for this forum? everything is being tabled and thrashed out on NL

What exactly will they bear?  Lets see:

My first name is :

Sista

My last name is:

Woman

I am married to a Nigerian

I live in Baltimore Md
I have a job
I have two businesses
My husband has his own business
I love my man and he loves me
I love my kids and they love me
My children are  beautiful and loved
I cant stand to be buzzed and only warn one time before adding the person to ignore.

Now that I have told you everything that anyone from NL could ever find out about me on YIM I guess it is all out in the open.

Sweety i was not born yesterday.  Sweety I have been playin the game for far too long. Sweety you gots to get up extra early, have a large bowl of weaties just to think about getting me.

Unless someone is going to alter a conversation to add in juciy details of my life that are not true. .  . the above is the best anyone from here can get from me.

all i can say 2d poster is this (because there is nothing new in terms of advise that will do you any more good, u have heard it all)
one day you will look into the face of your children and weep
when they ask you why, why you made a mess out of their life
y u put up wit so much rubbish n kept exposing them to nonsense as they grew up
because maybe you dont know children get affected later in life

on that day your whole life will flash before your very eyes
how you constantly allowed disaster (that man u call a man)make a mess out of your life(indirectly affecting theirs)
i wish you all the best

Wats the big deal

amebo no1.:

e be like say oooo

like i care


sista woman continue with the yim oooo, those people u r doing the yim will soon come and talk ,once theres a misunderstanding


na today?wetin yim never cause for this forum? everything is being tabled and thrashed out on NL

Consider yourself lucky,you married to the right man.

@ poster-----i will rather suggest you live with him for the rest of your life,i know it is painful to love and cared for somebody only for the person not to cherish the love. But i guess that is your own cross which you have to carry no matter the circumstances. I know some people will tell you to live your man and settle for divorce but i want you to remember the Biblical saying :"the devil we know is far better than an angel we have not seen."

Just let your man realize the extent to which he has ruined your marriage despite the fact that you gave your all to the marriage.In this type of situation; patience,perseverance and prayer will see you through and if you so believe in God and His wonders ,he can turn a new leaf. Be in peace and harmony with him.

Cheers,

C

When planing a family, especially raising children! both parties should always consider being the primary custodian to the child. In case of an unexpected demise of the other. In today's family, both woman and man are guilty of trying to place some kind of responsibility on the other. E.g Women expect the man to bring home the bacon, and men expect the woman to stay at home and raise the child. This setup was very reliable in the earlier stages of human societal development, where it was seen as a sociably acceptable practise, because the attainment of food in itself was a dangerous expedition e.g hunting, warring and pillaging e.t.c and hence reserved for the men, while the woman stayed at home and was responsible for all domestic affairs.
Fast forward a few thousand years. Now advances in technology and changes to civil rights law and humanitarian law, has leveled the platform between men and woman, Work is just as dangerous for both man and woman alike. In such and environment you should adjust accordingly. The only deciding factor is now education and not gender. My point in all this is, If you weren't so dependent on old ideologies you wouldn't be in such financial predicaments. If he doesn't want to take care of his son then, you move on. I also understand the emotional hurt involve and the sever feeling of betrayal that can leave you scarred for life. But as long as there is a will there is a way. Pick you self up, dust your shoulders off and hop back on band wagon. And never put you trust in a man, History tells you that we are unreliable creatures.

bridget007:

@sistawoman, ondo state yea.

I know Leila, i feel like punching myself in the face half the time to bring me to my senses, I just don't know why he seems to be able to always wangle me back. Its not like I can even remember that many happy times and even those happy memories are usually marred with something awful he did or said that marked it.

He's no car at moment and he's keeps telling me he needs a car like I should buy him one!! Ting is I am much better without him in every way, financially, my social life is better as he never wants to go out and I love going out so without him I can spend time with my friends and family. When we are at home all he wants to do is watch football, which I don't mind but ALL the time is annoying.

Hey its cary but a new beginning has to be better than this.

Girl, this is a sad sad story but you need to be strong; not just for yourself but also for your child(ren). Just start saying NO to everything he asks for. Visits, gifts, outings, money etc. I did that with an ex who I never thought I could live without. Even when it hurt me to do so I still said no. You will be surprised what that does to your self confidence. I hope you get yourself out of this mess soon and get your life back on track. No no one is worth being with such a disrespectful and irresponsible man.

I have always felt that anyone who comes to Naira land should leave feeling better. Why all the hate?

every day, more and more, I see why people say ***life is complicated***. bridget007, just stay strong and don't go losing ur mind over a man - no1 is worth that.

amebo no1.:

bridget i have to agree with ladyt here

her marriage wasnt based on love,it was all for papers, he gets his green card and off

yea she might have fallen inlove with him,alot of u akatas do

but the fact is,it is a contract marriage

look for people dat are truly married for love and seek for marital advice

you, na telephone without wire you and karma be. una memory bank na only God know the size. this leilah and bridget show na only nollywood go fit use am. i cant beleive most of the things they come up.

These women never learn. I'm sure if anyone tried to advise them, they'd give the person a lecture on the meaning of love etc.

You guys never sabi

JustGood:

These women never learn. I'm sure if anyone tried to advise them, they'd give the person a lecture on the meaning of love etc.

You guys never sabi

you dont want to fall in love? when you become desperate you do anything.

Well, if you believe that

bridget007:

Well, if you believe that god does things for a reason, hear this, my car has failed its M.O.T and whilst is an excellent runner has severe under body corrosion and so will be off the road very shortly. Thus, making it now impossible for me to go and pick my ex/husband up to come see or stay with us. Whilst I can afford to get another car I am not in a rush to as I have excellent transport links around me and the kids which can be easily used.

God works in mysterious ways, now I will not be able to able to give in and run around for him, and if he doesn't make the effort to get a train he will not be able to see us and total separation will be inevitable. Its a scary thought for me but I know its the right one, guess sometimes god/fate lends a hand.

go and repair the car. why would you drop a man just when he needs you most? creat a thread and ask us what is expected of you as first wife. the guy maybe permitted by home office to marry a second wife on religious grounds. at least the pressure on you would reduce now he has a 2nd woman. who knows maybe a third. it only gets better from here.

i am going to nigeria next week if you desire to sell the film rights i may be of assistance. only 15% commission no VAT.

Bridget,
i'll tell u now that who ever said leave GOD out of it is telling u- well u can't get out of it.
if there is anything on this earth that we think we can do with out GOD, i'll like for one to point to it. if u make a wrong decision, it's becos u chose to do dat, it's not GOD making d decision 4 u. right from d begining, he gave us dat freedom. it's left to us to follow and make the ones he advise us to take.

As for all d people telling u to leave ur husband, ask which is married? ask how their marriage is, some will and do take more of all dat u have gone through in their own marriages if not worst, and then dey tell u to leave him. if u do, and d next prince charming comes, proposes on top of the mountain for all to see, gives u d best marriage u can ever dream of, takes u & ur kids to shopping in London or anywere every foru months, threats u like u r on top of d world, only to find out dat he's doing some rituals, or some un godly things, armed robbery or so, will u leave him too, and cos all u'll do is either get back here and ask for advise that u maaried a robber, or a killer, should u leave him, and d answer as always is "what r u doing with a killer" and all d stuff.
Your husband is out in d world. far into d world i should add. all u have to do is interceed and pray for him, pray for yourself and ur kids. if u have taken d convenant that he's ur hubby, hold on and pray about it, d drugs if u can't have him around u and d kids, u can tell him to pls stop coming till he learns to keep it away from u guys, and ask GOD to deliver him from it. it's not an easy thing.
some men cheat, even d ones dat love their wives, and all that stuff, it's temptation. d one with the power to over come it is the one that will over come, ur prayer is for GOD to have him over come d temptation.
my dear all u have is GOD, any other thing is not going to work, even if u leave him for the next simple but loving GUy, what happens if dat one too does something? u leave again.

marriages go through ups and downs, it may have being rough from d begining which u should have seen, but u didn't and let it happen, GOD is a merciful GOD, even with this, he will still help. depend on him completly and not on any advise dat some give here.

We are madly in love with each other. We do work very hard at keeping our marriage on track and working. The thing that brought us together was destined, it was ment for us to find each other. He is my missing piece. And if actions speak louder than words than his is screaming at the top of his lungs that he is madly in love with me. The best part about all of this is if he turned around tomorrow and said it is over, I have experienced a love that very few ever get to experience and that cant be taken away from me no matter what.
[quote][/quote]

This is one of the best compliment i have read in recent times. Baby, enjoy your life while it lasted (hope it will last till death do you part) because many people don't get to experience or feel true love throughout their life time.

[@bridget
My only advice to you is to work on your self esteem and you will be ok.

@POSTER
your English is scary.dont even know how people got to understand you.bet it wasnt easy

wendyc:

Bridget,
i'll tell u now that who ever said leave GOD out of it is telling u- well u can't get out of it.
if there is anything on this earth that we think we can do with out GOD, i'll like for one to point to it. if u make a wrong decision, it's becos u chose to do dat, it's not GOD making d decision 4 u. right from d begining, he gave us dat freedom. it's left to us to follow and make the ones he advise us to take.

As for all d people telling u to leave ur husband, ask which is married? ask how their marriage is, some will and do take more of all dat u have gone through in their own marriages if not worst, and then dey tell u to leave him. if u do, and d next prince charming comes, proposes on top of the mountain for all to see, gives u d best marriage u can ever dream of, takes u & ur kids to shopping in London or anywere every foru months, threats u like u r on top of d world, only to find out dat he's doing some rituals, or some un godly things, armed robbery or so, will u leave him too, and cos all u'll do is either get back here and ask for advise that u maaried a robber, or a killer, should u leave him, and d answer as always is "what r u doing with a killer" and all d stuff.
Your husband is out in d world. far into d world i should add. all u have to do is interceed and pray for him, pray for yourself and ur kids. if u have taken d convenant that he's ur hubby, hold on and pray about it, d drugs if u can't have him around u and d kids, u can tell him to pls stop coming till he learns to keep it away from u guys, and ask GOD to deliver him from it. it's not an easy thing.
some men cheat, even d ones dat love their wives, and all that stuff, it's temptation. d one with the power to over come it is the one that will over come, ur prayer is for GOD to have him over come d temptation.
my dear all u have is GOD, any other thing is not going to work, even if u leave him for the next simple but loving GUy, what happens if dat one too does something? u leave again.

marriages go through ups and downs, it may have being rough from d begining which u should have seen, but u didn't and let it happen, GOD is a merciful GOD, even with this, he will still help. depend on him completly and not on any advise dat some give here.

true but tell her to go repair the car and ignore her buddy leilah,

Nosa-Henry:

We are madly in love with each other.  We do work very hard at keeping our marriage on track and working.  The thing that brought us together was destined, it was ment for us to find each other.  He is my missing piece.  And if actions speak louder than words than his is screaming at the top of his lungs that he is madly in love with me.  The best part about all of this is if he turned around tomorrow and said it is over, I have experienced a love that very few ever get to experience and that cant be taken away from me no matter what.

This is one of the best compliment i have read in recent times. Baby, enjoy your life while it lasted (hope it will last till death do you part) because many people don't get to experience or feel true love throughout their life time.

[@bridget
My only advice to you is to work on your self esteem and you will be ok.

nosa, do single parents in naija feel this vulnerable in naija?

zilosxp link=topic=265210.msg3805322#msg3805322 date=1241112956:

@POSTER
your English is scary.dont even know how people got to understand you.bet it wasnt easy

u sabi oyinbo pass english womanNnawao

wendyc:

Bridget,
i'll tell u now that who ever said leave GOD out of it is telling u- well u can't get out of it.
if there is anything on this earth that we think we can do with out GOD, i'll like for one to point to it. if u make a wrong decision, it's becos u chose to do dat, it's not GOD making d decision 4 u. right from d begining, he gave us dat freedom. it's left to us to follow and make the ones he advise us to take.

As for all d people telling u to leave ur husband, ask which is married? ask how their marriage is, some will and do take more of all dat u have gone through in their own marriages if not worst, and then dey tell u to leave him. if u do, and d next prince charming comes, proposes on top of the mountain for all to see, gives u d best marriage u can ever dream of, takes u & ur kids to shopping in London or anywere every foru months, threats u like u r on top of d world, only to find out dat he's doing some rituals, or some un godly things, armed robbery or so, will u leave him too, and cos all u'll do is either get back here and ask for advise that u maaried a robber, or a killer, should u leave him, and d answer as always is "what r u doing with a killer" and all d stuff.
Your husband is out in d world. far into d world i should add. all u have to do is interceed and pray for him, pray for yourself and ur kids. if u have taken d convenant that he's ur hubby, hold on and pray about it, d drugs if u can't have him around u and d kids, u can tell him to pls stop coming till he learns to keep it away from u guys, and ask GOD to deliver him from it. it's not an easy thing.
some men cheat, even d ones dat love their wives, and all that stuff, it's temptation. d one with the power to over come it is the one that will over come, ur prayer is for GOD to have him over come d temptation.
my dear all u have is GOD, any other thing is not going to work, even if u leave him for the next simple but loving GUy, what happens if dat one too does something? u leave again.

marriages go through ups and downs, it may have being rough from d begining which u should have seen, but u didn't and let it happen, GOD is a merciful GOD, even with this, he will still help. depend on him completly and not on any advise dat some give here.

@ poster
best advice so far, and the best u can get anywhere.  prayer works like ,  . . . ,  it does wonders.

dont compare ur marriage to any one's, cos all that glitters aint gold. go on ur kneels and pray.

Real talk from the lst 2 posters!

Actually, I had being thinking about this for years with doubts, but today I feel more certain that it is going to be the best of all time. I was thinking about opening a program, or lets say a school, or an Institutions. . . ^{whatever. . . .} It main aim is to get women to understand what 'MARRAIGE' is unlike other this one will be in reality! ^{what do you think} I will be the human and the any woman involved would be the wife. There would be marriage as in real life, a honey moon, I am to enjoy all the 'goodies' as a husband _{you know the midnight things} At least have got money, a house, education and above all a source of income.

Women are to join this program, or lets say school, or this Institutions immediately after they grajuated and they are to be my WIFE!! for the next 4 yrs just to understand what 'MARRAIGE' Is all about. Am sure with this there will be nothing like divorce in or anymore of this topics

Who are these women?

spoilt:

Who are these women?

I started to read the first post and the thing started giving me headaches.
The story is too complicated for my liking.
I have other things to worry about
Infact I burnt my whole pot of kpomo tonight
and I can't get the smell out of the house
that is my biggest worry right now
not all this baby mama drama

$osisi:

I started to read the first post and the thing started giving me headaches.
The story is too complicated for my liking.
I have other things to worry about
Infact I burnt my whole pot of kpomo tonight
and I can't get the smell out of the house
that is my biggest worry right now
not all this baby mama drama

No wonder white people would say "there goes the neighborhood" when black folks move in. Just imagine how disgusting burned kpomo would smell like. With all the money you and Doc make, you people should be eating stakes every night not KPOMO.

Leilah:

yes plenty! I am just trying to encourage the girl. 

I am very suprised you could help your friend this much And you can't step up to do thesame for yourself,all the marriage you always talk about are very bitter just like you always describe yours,dear if you are able to give all these comprehensive advise to others in distress i wonder what is stopping you from adising yourself.

Leilah:

Oh my God this is really horrible.   Listen Bridget there is a friend of mine that was married for eight years, they saved and saved for a home and put the baby plans on hold so last may came the good news that she was pregnant, I was over the moon for her, I always was fond of her husband (a carribean national).  Then, lo and behold last Dec a letter came from the Welfare Dept requesting for her husband to attend in connection with a baby by the name of Massius that was born in July 2008! my friend was eight months pregnant and found out her husband did this behind her back.

He wouldn't give us the details of the girl and the child saying it was 'just a one nighter' I went to the birth cert office of public records here in Dublin and got all the details. We calmly paid the girl a visit. She said that he had been seeing her right up until that night, she was in a terrfied, upset state and couldn't beleive of this (his wife).  The lady he cheated with and impregnated was a Polish national who had a son for him.

My friend simply completely ignored him when she got the real truth and to date she refuses to speak to him.  he keeps trying and trying to get back with her. So she informed the immigration Division of the change is circumstnces and they called him in a re issued him with a temporary 6 month visa pending decision on the case. So, a court date is set for them now to make an arrange as regards custody and maintenance.

Sorry for all the ranting, why I'm telling you this is because you have to be strong, just like my mate is, it has been worth it for her, she has a beautiful son and a caring family. She has regained her self confidence and is a changed person for the better and you can be the same. Just forget that he actually exists on earth at all its not not worth the pain and the hassle, thats what she did and it has worked. At least youre not the only one this has happened to and futhermore at least you were not left with a mortgage agreement. Sorry for your pain. There is a lot more to live than this.

On another note, may I ask where this other lady is from?

Abegi ,see leila heping her friend,Leila, Leila, leilaaaaaaa heeeeeelp your self first.

Insert Quote
Quote from: Leilah on April 24, 2009, 10:12 PM
Oh my God this is really horrible.   Listen Bridget there is a friend of mine that was married for eight years, they saved and saved for a home and put the baby plans on hold so last may came the good news that she was pregnant, I was over the moon for her, I always was fond of her husband (a carribean national).  Then, lo and behold last Dec a letter came from the Welfare Dept requesting for her husband to attend in connection with a baby by the name of Massius that was born in July 2008! my friend was eight months pregnant and found out her husband did this behind her back.

He wouldn't give us the details of the girl and the child saying it was 'just a one nighter' I went to the birth cert office of public records here in Dublin and got all the details. We calmly paid the girl a visit. She said that he had been seeing her right up until that night, she was in a terrfied, upset state and couldn't beleive of this (his wife).  The lady he cheated with and impregnated was a Polish national who had a son for him.

My friend simply completely ignored him when she got the real truth and to date she refuses to speak to him.  he keeps trying and trying to get back with her. So she informed the immigration Division of the change is circumstnces and they called him in a re issued him with a temporary 6 month visa pending decision on the case. So, a court date is set for them now to make an arrange as regards custody and maintenance.

Sorry for all the ranting, why I'm telling you this is because you have to be strong, just like my mate is, it has been worth it for her, she has a beautiful son and a caring family. She has regained her self confidence and is a changed person for the better and you can be the same. Just forget that he actually exists on earth at all its not not worth the pain and the hassle, thats what she did and it has worked. At least youre not the only one this has happened to and futhermore at least you were not left with a mortgage agreement. Sorry for your pain. There is a lot more to live than this.

On another note, may I ask where this other lady is from?

bintab:

Abegi ,see leila heping her friend,Leila, Leila, leilaaaaaaa heeeeeelp your self first.

  leilah na physician wey no dey chop her medicine. she is becoming funny.

$osisi:

I started to read the first post and the thing started giving me headaches.
The story is too complicated for my liking.
I have other things to worry about
Infact I burnt my whole pot of kpomo tonight
and I can't get the smell out of the house
that is my biggest worry right now
not all this baby mama drama

you dey chop kpomo when your brother dey increase the population right left and center. i go chop my own next week prenty prenty plus some fish and ogbolo soup.

envy no one my sister.

JJYOU,

what kind of insect repellant are you taking with you? I need help with a real good one.

Osisi, kpomo smell when burnt is ewwww 

Naija man sowing wild oats everywhere eh i feel for ya all really.

//

we use paludrine. the mrs is allergic to something in it so she takes an injection that works for 21 days and puriton or puriton not sure correct spelling of that. sister nwando, over to you.


we start the paludrine 3 days before we move and our GP says another 3 days when we come.
i have to admit i dont use it when i go on my own