@ poster
There is no time to waste in life. If you feel that what she did was against your moral beliefs, just leave her and move on with ur life.
Dont go into a contract you could live to regret.

my 2 kobo.

You said it all.

In summary:
I think females on this forum have been pro-forgiveness. In all sincerity, I wonder if they'd have advised a woman to be as accepting of a man with a child outside, of whom he had a late knowledge, especially. I draw no similarities though, was just asking my favourite question "How many women would have acquitted Joseph from Potiphar's wife's claims?" How many believe such men exist?
Another post clamours for a psych test for beating a woman. The best female reply was for a man to walk away if he was physically attacked by a woman. He was to "display maturity".
At my age and level, I understand this. I even recommend it.
In view of his responsibilities, I guess I really cannot understand y women will still ask y it is a man's world.

On your post:
As one who can advice, I'd say to you to hold yourself. It hurts. The question of relating with an ex (especially if it's one you'd get to keep meeting), the trust between you two, the self-denial in the desire not to hurt her, the loss of confidence, and such are things you will have to take time to deal with. As in my case, communication (which you might discover will be mostly one-way, from your end) in this instance is key. Affirm your love, telling her (IF YOU MEAN IT) that you'd accept her however she gives herself to you. Pray. Realise that you have a good past because you did it for God, any other reason will cloud your mind with self-righteousness. All the best, mate.

@poster,
that girl ain't urs believe me. If her ex is still craving for her to come back; eventually she will go back to him, no matter how much she say she loves u. sorry am sounding this way, but it's a fact.

@poster

If you can't stomach it , as she couldn't in her own case , move on.
It's going to erode whatever love you have for her later on but if you truly can see beyond it , which is unlikely , give her that chance
She deserves it.

@poster
if u cant 4give her and take her bak
den Jump 4rm 3rd main land bridge
wetin sef
havent u had se.x wit another girl
b4 u met her, dont tell ME havent
isnt that enuf 4 her 2 also quit u

What if she didnt tell u?
Abeg make we hear word.

guy i feel you but why you dey abuse guys say dem dey spoil gals life you wan tel me yiur gf know no abt the abvortion wen dey go comot am
dont just try to leave dat gal cos omo she try most gals nowadays will never tell you such a thing wen dey new ones they said i out theie own don finish,
my dear bro pls in the name of God most high pls kindly forgive am
we all have one past or the other

My mind is gradually softening. . .Sad some ppl dont know this is not some cooked up story, it happening to ME right now!!!

I will forgive her. . . I LOVE HER. . . at least for being open. I will promise my love for her and Love her more. . .(crying). . but God knows best, .(still crying. . . sobs)

She aborted once in how many years of her life n u want to kill ur sef ,u cant forgive her and she even confessed it without u forcin her, u r God-forsaken & callous. Leave her n go into anoda relationship cos you dont deserve her. how many ladies can actually tell their guyz the truth thisdayz ? for those that are willing to tell the truth,u guyz will use it against them, it's really unfair man.


Anywayz my advice to u is to look for anoda lady who has no past becos if u marry this child-killer lady(as u see her) she might kill all oda ones she will av for u oooo. I wish u well in ur quest for lady-free-of-abortion.

lol do you see he's *sobbing* Rofl

abeg she doesnt need YOUR forgiveness. She didnt sin against you, self righteous psycho

Sorry dude,take heart,ul get over it but keep dat girl.she is good

Can she still have babies? , if the answer is yes , what then is the problem, ?

@ Topic, You are so

Haba, na wa for judgemental people oooo. Ok what she did was a sin. Sin na sin period in God's eyes but so long as we confess and ask for God's forgiveness, that's all that matters. She came clean with you shows that she got a conscience and a conviction. Build on that! How about those who would have never told you.

Good woman hard to find my brother.

@Poster,
I don't know the big deal in your claim,she aborted once, and so?
How many used condoms have you flushed away?

@poster
dont worry i wud Join u in cryin
sobs and sobs and sobs

abeg no 4get to tell me wen ure true wit ur sobbin make
i still stop my sobbing
sobs
sobs
sobs,

@poster
how we no go bash u
anyway are u sure she has done thoes test
cos i dnt believe that,anyway if she's done it
No problemo!
theres no test
other than True test,
also ask that ur GF never 2 go near that her X that is tryin 2 cum bak
hold tite 2 her,she bam!

Poster, your woman is quite wicked.  Yes your conerns are highly justified.  You are pro life.  Yes you should be bothered if your significant other once killed a growing baby in her womb. 

She lied to you.  Yeah, a lie by omission is still a lie. 
She interrogated and fished for the dirty secrets in your life, hoping to find something to possibly help her feel less guilty about what she's done.  Luckily for you, she found nothing to incriminate you (being the saint that you are /sarcasm), and felt even more guilty for not telling you about her abortion.

You are probably thinking she is callous for hiding something that serious from you until you fell in love with her.  Imagine how many more secrets she could possibly be hiding from you.

Main thing is, she should have told you as soon as you two became serious.  Maybe she did not tell you because she knew how you would feel about it, or was afraid of losing you.  What you should do now is to sit down and really assess the situation very well.  Find out the scenario surrounding the abortion. Her reason(s) for doing it might give you some peace of mind or help you two move on from it. It could have been a traumatic experience for her. I know I wouldn't want to relive an experience like that.  This is your chance to let her know that she can tell you pretty much anything.  Most girls love having a partner they can confide in.  It makes them feel safe and loved.
She is the lone star that can help you best deal with this right now.  Please do have a serious talk with her.  Tell her how you feel.

I know you are hurt but if you can, forgive her.

Thanx a lot C2. . .

You captured my emotions. I've forgiven her and only hope there arent more confessions. What tests do we need to do?

Hmmmmm, and if she can't have kids, what are you going to do then? Something tells me that even though you say you have forgiven her, you'll always hold this against her. But in the end she owes you nothing, It's her mistake and i am sure she regrets it. Like someone said, She doesn't need your FORGIVENESS.

And I suppose you don't have anything in your past that probably hurts her.

You guys just won't stop playing God.I see a decent ,honest woman who apparently made mistakes. What if she did not mention it ? Most women today will never be caught telling you that whereas 60% of our women today have had an abortion or more.

Blurt that stuff out of your mind and go loving that woman again or better still send me her number.

May time heal your heart.

omo why u dey ask of her number? ok, she will do another abortion for u at the long run

I suppose maybe he can now place a value on her.

You are a damn fool for thinking of ending the relationship just because she decided to be HONEST. I hate men like you who would not appreciate others honesty and openness. What if she dint tell you?

I think you should appreciate her as she striles me as a trustworthy person who would not stand keeping a dirty secret from her partner. I give ger credits

lol, so u don't like the word fool

What other tests do I need to do (if any)? before its too late cos we've moved on from there

Quite whining jare. All you TWO need to do is fertility test. DO NOT tell the doctor anything before hand. Just tell the person you twowanna do a precautionary testing in regards to fertility. That's it.

That's all that is needed.

@poster,
i gat no more advice for u