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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / How To Be A Winning Man! (848 Views)
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How To Be A Winning Man! by SoAmazing(m): 11:29pm On May 02, 2009 |
Boyfriending should come with a manual — and a test. If you get a passing score, you are granted a girlfriend. If you score in the 90% percent region, you get a really good girlfriend. And if you fail? No girlfriend for you. In the interest of giving you a leg up in case such a test is ever invented, here are 10 essentials that you should know if you intend to settle down with a girlfriend. 1. Remember her mum's birthday. Any bloke can manage not to forget his girlfriend's birthday, but if you show up with flowers for her mum, she's yours. 2. Make stuff look difficult. If she asks for your help opening a jar because she's already turned her whole body red trying to get it to budge, at least make it look like it's a little challenging when you pop it open in two seconds flat after she just struggled with it for 10 minutes, she may not appreciate your macho grin. 3. Always compare favourably. The time will come when you will watch a film together and she will turn to you and say, "I think Halle Berry is so pretty , don't you?" This is a trick! There is but one proper response, and it goes like this: "She's okay, but you blow her away." See? I even made it rhyme so it'd be easy to remember. 4. Act disgusted. When you hear that a rich old man has left his wife for an young model, under no circumstances should the phrase "Nice one!" leave your mouth in her presence. Feigned horror and " cradle snatching" sentiments are your best options. 5. Wash your stinky feet. Don't wait for her to turn green. 6. Put down the remote. If you flip channels while she's discussing her deep feelings, this is a dead giveaway that you're not listening. No good can come of this. It's better to just nod a lot, occasionally say "I completely agree with you," and wait for her to exhaust herself. 7. Using the phone doesn't make you a loser. When you're out with your mates and it becomes clear that she shouldn't wait up for you, suck up your pride, endure the "ball and chain" remarks, and remember that the guys' legs are considerably less smooth when wrapped around you than your girlfriend's. Call her. 8. Go hairless. Some areas are more beautiful when they're bald. These include your back, nose, ears, neck and unibrow. 9. Ease up on the figures. If you're dating a woman and you both don't mind splitting restaurant bills, fine. But if you break out a calculator to make sure it's exactly equal, try to determine who ate what portion of what, or agree to "lend" her money to pay the tip, do not pass go: Go directly to No-Girlfriend Land. 10. If you love her, tell her. Again and again. Don't assume that you can just tell her once and she'll believe it's true until you tell her otherwise. There are two things a woman never gets sick of hearing: "I love you" and "Your butt looks amazing." Sprinkle both into your conversations liberally. |
Re: How To Be A Winning Man! by yme1(f): 12:26am On May 03, 2009 |
alright |
Re: How To Be A Winning Man! by tope5000: 12:31am On May 03, 2009 |
ok. . . will tell the guys i know ![]() |
Re: How To Be A Winning Man! by Sauron1: 12:34am On May 03, 2009 |
SoAmazing!: Rubbish!!! U will be surprised at the number of women who don't give a rat's ass about the stuffs u mentioned here. Ease up on the figures, tell her if you love her, make stuff look difficult and reh reh reh. One babe's meat is another one's cyanide. . . . . .There's no hard n fast rule to boyfriending. Anything goes!!! |
Re: How To Be A Winning Man! by tope5000: 12:36am On May 03, 2009 |
~Sauron~: Must u burst everyone's bubble ![]() @topic Men pls practise what the poster typed jare ![]() |
Re: How To Be A Winning Man! by Sauron1: 12:39am On May 03, 2009 |
tope5000: Nah. . . . , these rules over-complicate things. Why should i live ma life by some step-by-step booklet? |
Re: How To Be A Winning Man! by yme1(f): 12:41am On May 03, 2009 |
@sauron it sure does make sense |
Re: How To Be A Winning Man! by tope5000: 12:42am On May 03, 2009 |
~Sauron~: Lol . . . .some of the things the poster typed are true tho For example - ok i cant find any ![]() ![]() |
Re: How To Be A Winning Man! by Sauron1: 12:44am On May 03, 2009 |
y me: How? Going hairless makes sense?? What if u live your man hairy?? tope5000: U are wicked. . . . . |
Re: How To Be A Winning Man! by tope5000: 12:46am On May 03, 2009 |
~Sauron~: Lol . . . tope5000 is a meanie version of tope2000 ![]() Ok . . . lemme look for something that might be true in his post 10. If you love her, tell her. A lil bit chessy but its true ![]() |
Re: How To Be A Winning Man! by Sauron1: 12:51am On May 03, 2009 |
tope5000: What's true here? A babe with a flat-butt will not take "Your butt looks amazing" as a compliment. It's mockery. |
Re: How To Be A Winning Man! by yme1(f): 12:52am On May 03, 2009 |
okay the truth is i didnt read everthing the poster posted there ![]() ![]() |
Re: How To Be A Winning Man! by tope5000: 12:54am On May 03, 2009 |
~Sauron~: DWL ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Nothing wrong with a lil white lies na ![]() |
Re: How To Be A Winning Man! by bluespice(f): 1:00am On May 03, 2009 |
okay we don hia |
Re: How To Be A Winning Man! by SeanT21(f): 1:30am On May 03, 2009 |
@soamazing,WILL U MARRY ME ![]() ![]() haha |
Re: How To Be A Winning Man! by yme1(f): 1:31am On May 03, 2009 |
is this loff in the air ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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