texanomaly:


Nah

If my husband cheats on me, he will be the one to die an untimely death!

sexynabila:
u think just as or name implies ...Animal

PunkyVeer:
Moral of the story: put up with a cheating man & you're going to die early/before him.

RIP to your aunt, btw.

Cutex01:

And her putting up with her husband lead to her death? Nonsense!

Adortem:
Its likely the woman died of high blood pressure and I am sure the man stopped(assumption) cos the woman died after the calm confrontation and out of guilt. This part of the world isn't fair on women. I can see feminists on this thread,well,there is little you can do,even religion isn't on women's side...

lezz:
How do measure when a partner strays? Since one can have emotional affair or physical ones. Inside marriage, emotional affairs are often more dangerous than physical ones.

How can you drag marriage to a mere contract? It is a convenant of the highest order. The Catholic church deems it a Sacrament. It is a union of life, spirit, soul and body.



Too much 21st century _sex has cheapen the institution of marriage.

dearestaramide:
MY uncle and I love to have conversations on life, relationships, politics etc. Any way, we got into discussion on the high rate of divorce in Nigeria and he went on to express what he felt were cause of it. He emphasized on patience and forgiveness and went on to tell me of an experience that cured him of his player life style

Years ago, my uncle was like the average Nigerian man, that is of course womanizer but like the average man, he was smart not to flaunt it, though as women, we always can tell. His wife had always known and was always told by her over sabi friends but since she never caught him red handed, she couldn't do anything about it.

The constant late night calls, meetings, sudden travels increased her belief of what she already knew. what could she do? yes, as any average wife, she was in pains but still showed him love and made sure she was there for him any time he needed a friend to talk to. She never complained or cried to her family or friends but kept in all inside her. He respected her for this even though as he said, he was too addicted to women to stop, though he tried.

My uncle was called off for a conference which was to last for one week and as usual with out delay, he jetted off. A cousin of my aunt whom she had not seen for over two years then came to visit and but was staying in a hotel which was by all means high standard and very expensive. My aunt decided to visit her on a Saturday so as to stay longer and catch up on old times. My aunt as you suspected caught sight of her husband really romancing a woman in the pool area and as you know, the man was supposed to be in Port Harcourt and had presumably jetted off three days before. She calmly finished what took her to the hotel and went back home.


My aunt never showed her husband any difference and still treated him normal as usual but one day whilst he was in a very good mood and they were watching an interesting movie in their room, she calmly told him what she had seen THREE MONTHS EARLIER and asked him not to do it again as he had hurt her deeply.

That night, shame, shock, fear all kinds of thoughts but best of all respect clouded my uncle's thought. He did eventually stop but not immediately oooo. He said it was gradual but he eventually stopped.

MY aunt fell ill and died years later and my uncle was sooo heart broken. He is still single by the way.

WHAT I LEARNT

all men are the same only thing that differentiates them is fear of God and self control.
Women need to be wiser and more matured than men.
Never act immediately this enables you time to think and strategise
shouting doesn't change men but pushes them away

PunkyVeer:
Moral of the story: put up with a cheating man & you're going to die early/before him.

RIP to your aunt, btw.

daretodiffer:



I think it is too much 'it is a man's birthright to cheat' in the 21st century that has cheapen the institution of marriage

if we can c collectively castigate men who cheat, women will not see marriage as a mere institution and they will know better than to chat on their husbands

Kgdavid:


lol...oh ok well if divorce is an option then I get where you might be coming from

daretodiffer:


Bwahahaha

Fact created by the same people who believe in human sacrifice.

You are losing it bro

Lezzlie:
Human sacrifice? ?? What has that got to do with anything on this topic?

Keep the rail or take the plunge, commentary isn't by compulsion.

daretodiffer:
.

It is an analogy

Lezzlie:
A very unsuitable one I think. One that gravely throws the debate into a distasteful context.

bukatyne:


Pastor,

What do you advise the husband of a cheating wife?

bukatyne:


What makes divorce NOT an option?

Christianity and Islam supports divorce in the event of adultery, not so?

What advise would you give the husband of a cheating wife?

sexynabila:
tank u...

daretodiffer:


Bwahahaa

On the first point, you are right but you failed to look a the issue itself. The issue is that men justify their cheating. For them it is okay, they know they are going to get a free pass. They know people like you would caution the woman to take it easy and if she left her house because of that, you will call her names. Why can't she tolerate things for the sake of the greater good that is marriage(she is too petty, isn't she). And the circle keeps rotating. You won't declare marriage a state of emergency when men cheat and fail to see the inherent wrong in what they do. They keep getting away with it and their wives keep hurting deep inside. But it doesn't matter, they can get hurt but they must not leave.

However if it were a woman, OMG, she must leave that marriage today. The man must walk out o. There wouldn't be any state of emergency because it is a guy and he is justified.

Isn't that a hypocrisy? I agree that there are times we have to look the other way in a marriage but when the world and you believe that it is your birthright to cheat and it is your wives' birthright to look the other way to avoid disrepute, then there is a big problem. If we can't join hands to castigate hypocrites, please don't be afraid of state of emergency nor should be afraid of women cheating in their married homes. Because once you think a woman should/must stay with a cheating partner, you no longer have an opinion because you are biased.

My own palava is that I want you to recognise that a woman can have affairs too. If she can't discipline herself not to, then the man has no excuse. Also, women should be given a choice either to stay or not to stay without fools who think they have an opinion calling her names.




I didn't insult him, he threw the first stone with his ‘mature and learn'.



When the so-called leader lack self-discipline, how is the follower/partner supposed to respect him



Every woman that has an opinion is frustrated, depressed and unhappy abi. Yes, I am all the above if that makes you feel good as a man

When next you try to tackle issues, use your objective mind. If you can't please do not quote me.

daretodiffer:


I didn't know she was dead. Learn to look at the cause instead of misquoting somebody

He uses his aunt as a case study. If you are a student or better still a lawyer, you should know that you attacking/assassinating the evidence yo win the argument. In this case it was his aunt.

Don't quote me again please, if you are biased.

I like objective minds

Itsmenyou:
There is no honour in a man blatantly dishonouring his matrimonial vows made before God in church or wherever else, or before the law in court. You choose one woman for whatever reason, marry her, professing vows with weighty words, then you turn right around and break them, expecting the woman to behave "maturely", reminding you as if you are some retard (apologies to those suffering some affliction) of the vows you have made and the import of those words, only then you "reluctantly" give heed.

In a different situation, won't the breaking of your vows, especially before a court of law, lead to your incarceration?

There is a reason why this scripture in the bible is written; "A leader must be well-thought-of, committed to his wife, cool and collected, accessible, and hospitable. He must know what he’s talking about, not be over fond of wine, not pushy but gentle, not thin-skinned, not money-hungry. He must handle his own affairs well, attentive to his own children and having their respect. For if someone is unable to handle his own affairs, how can he take care of God’s church?"

Little wonder we have men failing in leadership positions world wide, simply because they can't keep their word. If you don't intend to be true to your vows, then don't make them! If you foolishly have, own up to your mistakes. Be upfront with the woman you have yoked and tell her the truth. If she decides to stay to keep up appearances, good for her. But man up!

babygirlfl:
Fen fem fem29, I missed youoo, where have you been?

awesome11:


U're always welcome. Hope you are enjoying ur day

fem29:


Missed you guys too oo. Got some bad news just had to take a break from nairaland. But back to normal now. All is well.

babygirlfl:
I have no problem with women who decide to stay with a cheating husband. It's her choice. What I have a problem with is when people try to make women feel that they all have to stay with a cheating man. When people make such women an example for all women to follow. Also it is very annoying the way everybody thinks they are in the position to give married women advice. Men quit advising women and start advising yourselves. Start telling your fellow men to save their marriage by not cheating or better still, give them manual on how to act maturely and keep a cheating wife.