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13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. - Romance (9) - Nairaland

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Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by muhakeem(m): 11:21am On Jan 17, 2016
I consider these steps as the beginning of being single forever.....





ladies, if u love ur self do not over depend on these steps
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Nobody: 11:22am On Jan 17, 2016
pinceprinz:



Hmmm.... I feel ya


But really, don't you think religion and the doctrines that come with it is fast losing its grip on us minding the placard of 'godlessness' society dances around tirelessly with now?


Don't u feel for peace of mind's sake, one's jez gotta lego af some seemingly unrelinquishable oddities or better still injustice thrown at us so, we don't increase our already too numerous encumberances by a factor of one?


I mean, you can choose to be happy even under depression. You can choose to be strong while getting battered and bruised, Nigerian youths who despite the tough economy where the youths are serially tortured by the state who wouldn't just give 'em nothing near enough to survive whilst still thrive and keeps the smiling face alive and an enchanting wit to match is my witness. Now, don't get me wrong! If your huzby gets unnecessarily abusive scolding u physically and emotionally you sure have to or must withdraw from the nuptial ties but when He's still caring and all loving but maybe by error gives in to that temptation of getting into a SECRET affair with another, then, I'm of that opinion he hasn't done a handful of the crime enough to be sentenced to outright condemnation and absolute punishment. He could even grow worse rather than sober if care is not taken. He's a grown up man, not a kid u can correct with torture. Rather, feed him with the fruit of leniency, overwhelm him with your love and show him more reason to love you harder and better. So, he gets that message you're the One for me and I'm with you for better for worse. . . My take!

In this HIV & AIDS era?
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Kanbee: 12:15pm On Jan 17, 2016
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Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by psalm121vs1: 12:16pm On Jan 17, 2016
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by hamilton62(m): 12:22pm On Jan 17, 2016
classicB:

Cheating in my opinion can be categorised. There are some married men that cheat on their wives and make her understand that they actually have a mistress, these kind of men deny their wives her conjugal right, they deprive her of emotional attention and some other things. I can say men that belongs here do not love their wives. Meanwhile there are some married men that only "sleep outside" they do all they can to prevent their wives from knowing, these kind of people respect their wives enough, they dnt deny her of her right neither do they punish her emotionally.
Lemme tell about our driver, this man loves his wife so much that he is the one that buys her underwear shocked cater for all her needs and so on, yet this man has a mistress, he belongs to the second category
I dnt know why men cheat anyway.
But a man that loves u belongs with u no matter how many ladies he straffs per day cry youre his lover, his wife, the mother of his kids, i dnt know why some frustrated bitches shud bother u
Abeg if ur husby belong to the first category you r on ur own o grin
Nice words from you, sweetie but I don't concur in totality of all in the piece of yours...
If your husband is in the first grade just as she said, you are not alone because Christ died alone that you will have a companion and company (people perish due to lack of knowledge I.e they succeed with knowledge), so that situation must be brought at His feet for straightening but it has to be accompanied with patience because things will gradually set step by step since God is not a necromancer...
Our problem is that we misplace roles, do yours and let God do His... And never have quarrel with your partner if you find out or he makes you know that he cheats, talk with him and not to him and show your inner strength, love him because you took the vow to love him even in this challenge before time.
I don't mean that it's easy but you can do it. Only you can stop you and the success of the marriage is upon the shoulders of a woman if you know what marriage really is because you are the owner of the home and not the man... We, men qre just big heads and the women are the flexible neck, so what carries the weight of the big head and will the ears, eyes, nose, mouth work precisely without the SWEET flexible neck? No!
You can do it, love covereth all things!
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Kay17: 12:25pm On Jan 17, 2016
classicB:
"What some married women dnt understand is, that their husband is having sex with other ladies out there doesnt make them less of a wife, lover, mother..., a man can actually love u and still have sex outside. This is because a real man have sex with his d!ck and not his emotions, meanline a woman having sex outside her marriage is slowly destroying it because most times women have sex not only with their vagina but also with their emotion grin that is why a cheating husband will not allow his wife cheat bck." As said by a married level mate.

Do this so called loving and yet cheating husband intend to harm their beloved wives?
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by HaneefahRN(f): 12:25pm On Jan 17, 2016
daretodiffer:


I know. Most of them end up regretting it. Their wives rarely forget. Once they get to that age, the wives start acting out.
Abi o. I view adulterous men as potential murderers, many women av lost their lives to STDs like AIDS, hepatitis, cervical cancer and the likes due to their husband's recklessness, due to the lack of contentment of men, due to their crazy false entitlement to be polygamous, switching from yellow to black and all, sadly when the consequences come the poor woman shares largely in it.
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by kumbalo(m): 12:27pm On Jan 17, 2016
Pr0ton:
That you may suck his d!ck all the days of your sexlife...

mum won't tell you that, let alone a pastor. smiley
It's wrong to suck dick. I have asked pastor and he gave reason why that is wrong. So dear, you wouldn't have to if this is discussed before marriage.
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Nobody: 12:27pm On Jan 17, 2016
classicB:
"What some married women dnt understand is, that their husband is having sex with other ladies out there doesnt make them less of a wife, lover, mother..., a man can actually love u and still have sex outside. This is because a real man have sex with his d!ck and not his emotions, meanline a woman having sex outside her marriage is slowly destroying it because most times women have sex not only with their vagina but also with their emotion grin that is why a cheating husband will not allow his wife cheat bck As said by a married level mate.


He must be lacking in brain cells, or he's a sufferer of the Alexander's disease.
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by canDy4eva(f): 12:33pm On Jan 17, 2016
naijaboiy:
AMEN! cry
Happy now? grin
...guess so!
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Nobody: 12:37pm On Jan 17, 2016
I just love this write-up. Especially the NO 7....I read it many times. It's an encouragement to single ladies out there! Who feels their age is an issue.

Forget your age n build your self. Don't ever allow your age to make settle for less. Be focus, don't be idle n be waiting for one nigga to be paying for your nails n hair.

Learn to trust God and pray more!
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by naijaboiy: 12:43pm On Jan 17, 2016
canDy4eva:
...guess so!
Okay then. cheesy

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday ma'am. grin
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by tete7000(m): 12:57pm On Jan 17, 2016
ststyreal:

Abeg, enough of this husband cheating rubbish and the world clapping in approval of it. For Christ sake, if a man who have vowed before the altar of God and his people to remain faithful to his spouse on their wedding day, now went behind to default in the vow he willingly made before God to his wife, do u think such a man will go unpunished? Huh! You people should stop deceiving your self with a false consolation words like, "man is polygamous in nature or that man is born to cheat or DNA whatever", cos every word spoken must be accounted for, let alone a vow u made before d sanctuary of God' promising to be faithful to your partner. Well, as for me(not my portion though) cos God knows I can't stand a cheating husband, Nitori pe because, my own level of jealousy be like say e pass baba God own. Even though I have told God, that in as much as I remained faithful to my husband, any husband that decides to go unfaithful will always have curses hanged over his life. Enough of this cheating approval, any man who have the intention to cheat on his wife, should make it known to the woman prior to the wedding, if she can cope, fine, if not, she finds her way. Just as any woman marrying a Muslim man should have known the likelihood of the man marrying more wives because of the religion, such scenario is understandable, but not a man, who vowed to be faithful to me before God and his priest and people, now turned back to start cheating on me and u people expect me to swallow it and keep loving him, it is a lie! He will be receiving curses everyday of his life until he desist from such act.


I love this. The pain for me is that we live in a secular world with all nonsense secular thoughts spread as ideals. It is so bad so many Christians are equally so lost in the secular way of life that they don't know the happiness God has in store for his own. Marriage is a gift from God to man; if everyone will diligently wait and work with God for a spouse many will enjoy the happiness of Godly marriage. It is only God's blessing that adds no sorrow.
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Freelancer2015(m): 1:13pm On Jan 17, 2016
I agree with all except no. 1.

HE WHO FINDS A WIFE, finds a good thing and obtain favour from the Lord (Proverb 8:22). Seek the face of God concerning your marriage and get confirmations from God, maybe even through your spiritual head.

When a wife/husband is imposed on you by your spiritual head, you are likely going to experience problems in marriage. Believe me when I say I know of several bitter marriages as a result of that.

So please personally seek the face of God.
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Nobody: 1:16pm On Jan 17, 2016
Toks2008:
It is the wish of many ladies to get married and while some ladies are fully prepared for the institution,many are totally naive about what lies ahead after saying i do but from my little experience in life, i present to you 10 things no mother or pastor will tell you before you say i do to that man.

1.That no matter how sweet the man is to you,no matter how caring and romantic and no matter how many prophets told you he is your man,that sweet man can turn to a demon after saying i do so what it seems before marriage is never a guaranty of what it will be after marriage.

2.If your man beats or cheats on you when you are courting,there is a 90% possibility that he will do even worse after marrying you and you need to understand that it is a big mistake to marry a man with the hope that he will change some characters you don't like but just learn to love him that way or take a walk.

3.If your man beats you once,it could be a mistake but if he beats you the second time then its a habit he is likely never going to stop.

4.That it is good to marry a man you have feelings for but it is a terrible thing to marry a man who does not desire you as much as you desire him.

5.That if you marry a man because of what he has and not because of mutual love then be ready to be miserable in that marriage as long as it lasts.

6.That a man can love you with all his life and could still cheat on you because most men think with that thing down there when it comes to their feelings for women and are polygamous in nature and no matter how sweet and disciplined you are,it will not stop him from cheating on you and divorcing a cheating hubby is no guaranty that the next man won't do worse.

7.As a lady, as long as you are sexually decent,GOD fearing,an excellent cook,financially independent and humble,you have absolutely nothing to fear because it will be extremely difficult for your man to disrespect you much less divorce you.

8.That not all men are calm but some have innate tendency to be violent so you must try at all cost to avoid any form of confrontation.

9.That women are women worst enemies and many of your female friends will be glad to see your marriage crumble so avoid discussing your marital flaws with them but take it to God in prayers and you must block your ears from hear says and believe what your hubby tells you even when you have an irking that he is lieing and whatever you have not seen does not exist.

10.That there is always a lady out there who is ready to push you out of your matrimony and take your place but 90% of men who cheat on their wives are not ready to divorce their wives but it is these wives that push the man out with impatience and hot temper so you will need lots of patience to deal with a philanderer because in most cases,they always come back home after having their feel of the side dishes.

11.That no man owns the key to your marital happiness except you because most men are the same and no man is worth the stress and as soon as you are married,you should focus on building your life as well as that of your child(ren).

12.That no marriage is perfect but every marriage has its own perculiar challenges and you must be ready to work on your marital pasture to look green cos that greener marital pasture you see on the other side have been worked so work on yours and remember that a happy union is not between two compactible people or two romantic people but its the one between two forgivers so learn to forgive and you will have a happy union.

13.That no matter how careful you may be in choosing a spouse,marriage will always be a black market where you must prepare for unforeseen situation and there is no right or wrong choice of man but what we have is your choice and what you make out of it and only GOD can guaranty a happy marriage
.


Hope these make some sense.
How about a man that insists on knowing about a woman's finances before marriage
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Toks2008(m): 1:34pm On Jan 17, 2016
Elesta:

How about a man that insists on knowing about a woman's finances before marriage

Well these days the Alpha male syndrome is no longer in vogue as we now see both parties discussing how they can contribute financially towards the homefront hence the need for the man wanting to know the financialk standing of the lady.

But be as it may,i still belong to the old ways of reasoning that no man must coarse or make it compulsory for a lady to contribute financially towards the homefront but should leave her to her discretionary decisions but nevertheless,ladies must understand that ka fi owo we omo ni owo fi n mo.
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Toks2008(m): 1:40pm On Jan 17, 2016
kumbalo:

It's wrong to suck dick. I have asked pastor and he gave reason why that is wrong. So dear, you wouldn't have to if this is discussed before marriage.

To give you an e-slap dey hungry me...

My pastor said...
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by domido(m): 1:41pm On Jan 17, 2016
There goes one wise man.
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Nobody: 1:45pm On Jan 17, 2016
kaziblake:
keep it up. Don't mind anybody.
Yeah...thanks my dear smiley
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Toks2008(m): 1:47pm On Jan 17, 2016
Lizabeth25:
I just love this write-up. Especially the NO 7....I read it many times. It's an encouragement to single ladies out there! Who feels their age is an issue.

Forget your age n build your self. Don't ever allow your age to make settle for less. Be focus, don't be idle n be waiting for one nigga to be paying for your nails n hair.

Learn to trust God and pray more!

Ironically most of these unmarried ladies ranting here do not possess just one quality out of the ones listed in that point 7 but you see them showing their losy and abusive nature online...

Before any lady cant start asking her man why he is cheating on her i guess she ought to first crosscheck herself with that point 7.
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by octopusfreaky(f): 1:49pm On Jan 17, 2016
Oga Toks2008 ,,ds is the only thread ive loved so far...kissesss.
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Toks2008(m): 1:54pm On Jan 17, 2016
octopusfreaky:
Oga Toks2008 ,,ds is the only thread ive loved so far...kissesss.

lol..glad this is coming from a female...i recieve your e-kisses jare.
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Hasta(m): 2:15pm On Jan 17, 2016
classicB:
"What some married women dnt understand is, that their husband is having sex with other ladies out there doesnt make them less of a wife, lover, mother..., a man can actually love u and still have sex outside. This is because a real man have sex with his d!ck and not his emotions, meanline a woman having sex outside her marriage is slowly destroying it because most times women have sex not only with their vagina but also with their emotion grin that is why a cheating husband will not allow his wife cheat bck." As said by a married level mate.

Nonsense
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by MindMatics(m): 2:20pm On Jan 17, 2016
classicB:

Cheating in my opinion can be categorised. There are some married men that cheat on their wives and make her understand that they actually have a mistress, these kind of men deny their wives her conjugal right, they deprive her of emotional attention and some other things. I can say men that belongs here do not love their wives. Meanwhile there are some married men that only "sleep outside" they do all they can to prevent their wives from knowing, these kind of people respect their wives enough, they dnt deny her of her right neither do they punish her emotionally.
Lemme tell about our driver, this man loves his wife so much that he is the one that buys her underwear shocked cater for all her needs and so on, yet this man has a mistress, he belongs to the second category
I dnt know why men cheat anyway.
But a man that loves u belongs with u no matter how many ladies he straffs per day cry youre his lover, his wife, the mother of his kids, i dnt know why some frustrated bitches shud bother u
Abeg if ur husby belong to the first category you r on ur own o grin
..... I tink it wud b beta for a man in both categories to gt anoda wife as Muslims do rada dan fornicatin... #MiNdMaTiKx
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by IsaacBuchi(m): 2:35pm On Jan 17, 2016
Trustworthiness:


What can you say about some men that sleeps with so many woman almost at the same time. That is keeping multiple women outside his marital home for sexual pleasure?



Those kind of men are grownup babies. Kids keep a lot of toys, sometimes they want to snatch away or keep other people's own.

If emotions is feelings then men who sleep with multiple women have feeling/selfish feelings/childish feelings and they do whatever stupid to satisfy it.
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Nobody: 2:57pm On Jan 17, 2016
Toks2008:


Well these days the Alpha male syndrome is no longer in vogue as we now see both parties discussing how they can contribute financially towards the homefront hence the need for the man wanting to know the financialk standing of the lady.

But be as it may,i still belong to the old ways of reasoning that no man must coarse or make it compulsory for a lady to contribute financially towards the homefront but should leave her to her discretionary decisions but nevertheless,ladies must understand that ka fi owo we omo ni owo fi n mo.
I don't understand yoruba
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Toks2008(m): 3:01pm On Jan 17, 2016
Elesta:
I don't understand yoruba
Helping each other is sacrosanct...thats the meaning
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Toks2008(m): 3:05pm On Jan 17, 2016
MindMatics:
..... I tink it wud b beta for a man in both categories to gt anoda wife as Muslims do rada dan fornicatin... #MiNdMaTiKx

This is my point.

I dont support polygamy or cheating but a man sexually chaste man who decides to marry a second wife is better than a philanderer.

Polygamy is not advisable but still better than sleeping with different ladies out there.

1 Like

Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by akigbemaru: 3:31pm On Jan 17, 2016
Marriage notes.
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Tiwanna(f): 3:34pm On Jan 17, 2016
@op if your wife was cheating on you in ur marriage not as means of revenge will u like it if u found out? What will b the consequences of her action? Will u still keep her as a wife? If yes I can relate to ur post if no then I think men r greedy and selfish. A man can cheat and when the lady finds out he is of the opinion that she can learn to tolerate it BC it is wat it is am a man and by nature polygamus. Why cant him the man tolerate it when his wife cheats on him abi is she not equal to doing the same tax? Did he think that his wife is not polyandry by nature? He is forgetting that the same way he feels when he finds out is the same way the lady feels.

Ps: Committing to a relationship and been faithful is all about choice, a man/woman will cheat on their significant other if only they choose too, nature has nothing to do with it but choice. We ladies when we love a man, we commit ourself to him without thinking of cheating not BC we can't cheat but BC we choose not to. So we expect the same from him too.
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by omojeesu(m): 3:41pm On Jan 17, 2016
Toks2008:


GOD bless you and your daughter ma...

It gladdens my heart when i read comments from people who can relate with my articles first hand.


Actually, I'm her father!

Bless you!
Re: 13 Facts you must know Before You Say I Do To That Man. by Nobody: 4:08pm On Jan 17, 2016
Lol....its true sha....but I'm exceptional. tongue


Toks2008:


Ironically most of these unmarried ladies ranting here do not possess just one quality out of the ones listed in that point 7 but you see them showing their losy and abusive nature online...

Before any lady cant start asking her man why he is cheating on her i guess she ought to first crosscheck herself with that point 7.

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