I am an Old member but i need to use this ID to create this thread.I need your honest advice on the afore-mentioned subject my ex wants me to borrow her some amount of money that is above what i can do without the knowledge of my wife.I used to do things without informing my wife but last year November i called my wife that i will never give out money that is more than 50k without her knowledge.My ex got my phone number through my cousin,she called me and i told her that i am married but we can still be the best of friends.A month after she asked me to borrow her some cash which i gave her half of the money not to pay back. She later asked me to borrow her some cash to start a business since she has just finished NYSC which i agreed.The money is far more than what i can give out without telling my wife.I can afford the cash but i do not want to give it out without my wife's consent.Please how do i tell my wife ?

why entertain a relationship with ur ex without atleast telling ur wife?
wud u be comfy if u find out ur wife is seeing/helping her ex at ur back?
are u a bank/money lender or u are just a plain philiantropist?
Finally,are u willing to lose ur home/wife cos of ur ex?
Am sure,ur wife wud get to know one day. . . .either from u(cos u seem to be paranoid) or maybe from ur ex and am pretty sure that when she finds out who/how u spent the money,she definitely wud not find it funny.
Am still intrested,why do u want to help ur ex?cos u can afford it or maybe cos u still have sumtins for her
Dear,tell ur wife everything. . . .from the very first money till now.OR tell ur ex to go ask ur wife.goodluck.

Im so over retarded NL members

What the hell is your business with your ex abi you think we're to believe you'd actually give a girl money without anything in return

Asin

If she was still your gf and she asked you to lend that kinda money, you men would be saying rubbish about her.

So, how does being an ex makes the situation more special?

Do not borrow your ex any amount of money with or without your wife's consent, even if you ask your wife, you are asking for trouble because you are about to leave the gap open where the trust should be.

The fact that you and your ex were not even properly communicating is an indication that you guys are not that close, and I wouldn't expect you to be when you are now married. Money and women can cause the biggest downfall in a man's life. Tell her to ask her own friends and family. She may come back for me, and then what will you say then? when will it end?

However, it's your life and in this case your marriage.

//

Emotional case, very problematic situation as guy wants to show the ex that he is loaded enough, beware for she may want to borrow your 'services' one day, and you will still want to show her you are still capable like before.

the borrowing of the money is NOT the problem here. the problem is that you have to hide to do it because you KNOW that your wife wouldnt allow it. it says much about your relationship if you can even talk to the woman you married and need to sneak out to do certain things.
that is why marriage are worth nothing in our society, people cant even communicate or be honest to one another.
IF BORROWING MONEY TO YOUR EX IS SO IMPORTANT TO YOU THEN YOU SHOULDNT HAVE ANY PROBLEM TELLING/EXPLAINING IT TO YOUR WIFE BEFORE YOU DO IT!
be a man and dont jeopardize your marriage because of bullshit like that. when the trust is gone, it is very difficult to get it back!

The way I see it is you have already opened the door to something more than your marriage might be able to handle. You need to let your girlfriend I mean ex girlfriend know that you cannot give out that much money without your wife involved.

Thanks to everyone that has contributed,one thing i owe my wife is the trust and confidence she repose in me.I will be the last married man to engage in an extra-marital affairs.My ex remains ex but i just feel that not borrowing her is like i am being wicked.I have made up my mind not to give out the money either with the consent of my wife or not. I have stopped picking her calls just to avoid undue familiarity.She now sent me this text message and it is very touching that is why i seek advice.Here is the content of the text (Why are u avoiding my calls i know i'm no longer your responsibility. I only want u to help me out as a friend. Did you remember when u told me u are now my best friend? Is this how best of friends behave? Friends making their friends beg for help.May the peace of the Lord be with u and your family and i also hope u will eventually give your life to Christ see you at the top.Cheers.)

rofl
So she have given her life to christ and found it healthy to be best of friends with her married ex without the wifes' knoweledge Pathetic how some folks hide under that big umbrella . . .Christ/Church/Religion for their own personal gains.
@OP since when did she meet Christ?since u refused picking her calls?
abeg make she carry her cross waka.u owe her nuffin . . .finacially or even spiritually
Good decision u have made.stick with it.

you should not even have this sort of relationship with an ex, who after marriage is asking you to lend her money.

grow some balls man, i weak for guys when nor fit tell chick ''NO''

Wale Adenuga production.

poster is just stupid

seriously

O boy sha u b father Christmas , She said you should borrow her money , Next time now she will ask you to borrow her your Bed (penis ) you better run for your life because how will you feel if your wife is still keeping in contact with her Ex and helping him out with money , Dont do unto your wife what you wount like to be done to you .

//

its obvious that she want to use religion to force you into doing something you are not comfortable doing.
tell this ex of yours that religion DEMANDS that you are 100% faithful to your spouse and therefore if she (the ex) wants you to borrow her the money, you will have to speak to your wife about it before any money can be exchanged.
you are a married man and therefore decisions in the household she be made jointly for everything that has to do with your marriage, money included!!!!

why would you tell her she's your "best friend"

Do you have any respect for your wife at all?

OP
Encouraging friendship with your ex after you are married is just plain stupid.
my advice is do not even bring up the issue with your wife, if u value your marriage & severe all ties with your ex

Thanks for all the responses,it has really helped me and i will never make that same mistake again.

Oxone:

OP
Encouraging friendship with your ex after you are married is just plain stupid.
my advice is do not even bring up the issue with your wife, if u value your marriage & severe all ties with your ex

I can't even try it she will cry for days if i let her know.

Must u tell your wife evertything? There are some things you say and it will be difficult to handle the after effect. Your ex needs it for a good reason. Don't borrow her. Give her half of it and tell her to meet her present guy to complete it. It's not everything you must tell your wife. Its for the sake of your marriage. You know women. She might not handle it the way u expect but scare your girlfriend off by telling her your wife was not happy so it doesn't repeat itself.

unbelievable. do you all intend to cut off your friends after you marry?. life is for living every relationship should not lead to sex.

o boy if you have the money and you can comfortably let it go there is no harm in being nice to an ex girl/friend.

i would also strongly suggest you work on the matter of trust in your marriage. i would personally tell before i give even though mine would never find out. i like to believe i have enough credits to be trusted by the significant other.

Put this girl/ ex- whateva u call her where she belongs-

. . . in the black hole of history.

Period.

Lilian_Eve:

.My ex got my phone number through my cousin,she called me and i told her that i am married but we can still be the best of friends.

Dude. Your wife should be your best friend. Cut off your ex and go and spend the money on wifey.

so sad.

guy i sabi forge lie die, but i don holy as of 1 second ago before i wan post d huge buyable and believable lie as ansa wey u go tel wifey

mrsb:

Dude. Your wife should be your best friend. Cut off your ex and go and spend the money on wifey.

dats d way, afta al dat spending u wil get a very big and bountiful reward wey wifey dey hide from u al dis while.

d hidden skilz in d art of *** 2b used only in emergency cases of wen hubbies eyez is elsewhere or during gold digger alert

enuf story to read on this forum

i go call wale adenuga, make im kom check wether im go c new film for here

Why didn't this make front page? I am in the same situation now.