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Chav: - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Chav: (1756 Views)

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Chav: by blissieng(f): 10:47am On May 12, 2009
Chav

There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe,innit?
He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain'tno Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.
She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'

Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an'go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that.

But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an'enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an'that.

Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crownson
their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankensteinan' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?'

It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer. He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.'
Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey' Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'

So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an'it's safe an' that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turnswater into Stella.
Re: Chav: by Bbeee: 11:11am On May 12, 2009
brb
Re: Chav: by romsky: 11:12am On May 12, 2009
errrm so long a letter ryt?
Re: Chav: by blissieng(f): 11:16am On May 12, 2009
Patience is a virtue.

If you dont have it you cant enjoy the joke.
Re: Chav: by Lolabbey: 11:18am On May 12, 2009
i no read am bt stil understood it quite well
Re: Chav: by romsky: 11:20am On May 12, 2009
lola sabi lie sha
na only stella i see dia self
Re: Chav: by Lolabbey: 11:23am On May 12, 2009
me no even see dat one
Re: Chav: by Bbeee: 11:26am On May 12, 2009
ehen, bak, can sumbori summarize plsssss smiley smiley cool

thank u dnt mentio
Re: Chav: by blissieng(f): 11:28am On May 12, 2009
:p
Re: Chav: by Bbeee: 11:29am On May 12, 2009
na wa ooo, u don pass ur disease gv ya keyboard ni?
Re: Chav: by blissieng(f): 11:29am On May 12, 2009
:p
Re: Chav: by romsky: 11:30am On May 12, 2009
e no easy
Re: Chav: by Bbeee: 11:30am On May 12, 2009
rara, ori poster yi ti wa drunkin,
Re: Chav: by blissieng(f): 11:32am On May 12, 2009
lol, is it getting to you? Ok - I'll try harder wink

tongue
Re: Chav: by Bbeee: 11:34am On May 12, 2009
blissieng:

lol, is it getting to you? Ok - I'll try harder wink

tongue

psml cheesy cheesy cool
Re: Chav: by Lolabbey: 11:56am On May 12, 2009
d two bees dey have fun oooo wink
Re: Chav: by romsky: 12:01pm On May 12, 2009
abi
Re: Chav: by blissieng(f): 12:13pm On May 12, 2009
psml?
Re: Chav: by Bbeee: 12:17pm On May 12, 2009
ehen?
Re: Chav: by blissieng(f): 12:37pm On May 12, 2009
are you high?
Re: Chav: by Bbeee: 1:06pm On May 12, 2009
im so high n u r sinkin lowa cool
Re: Chav: by blissieng(f): 1:22pm On May 12, 2009
thats what they say.
Re: Chav: by Bbeee: 1:32pm On May 12, 2009
cool cool
Re: Chav: by Lolabbey: 1:59pm On May 12, 2009
hmmmmm
Re: Chav: by tytylayor: 11:42am On May 13, 2009
ki lon sele?
Re: Chav: by blissieng(f): 11:46am On May 13, 2009
U DONT wanna know.
Re: Chav: by Bbeee: 11:51am On May 13, 2009
y?
Re: Chav: by patkelly(f): 12:10pm On May 14, 2009
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!! sad tongue
Re: Chav: by blissieng(f): 12:11pm On May 14, 2009
FatKelly, you ok? tongue
Re: Chav: by patkelly(f): 12:13pm On May 14, 2009
yeah silly!!
Re: Chav: by romsky: 12:20pm On May 14, 2009
:d
Re: Chav: by studio43(m): 1:07pm On May 14, 2009
Bbeee:

brb

grin grin grin grin grin grin

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