Roughlen
I agree entirely with biina's post above.

If she really is broke by the middle of the month then you need to help her get to grips with it as one or both of you may end up getting into some serious debt. 

However, I still believe a man should give his wife the allowance; just to show appreciation, same way she should do to him though hers may not necessarily be in the form of an allowance (for lack of a better word).

This marriage looks like a father-daughter relationship and it's worrying. Why would an adult depend on another for a humiliating allowance? Why are they even adults? They had better remain kids and be their parents' responsibilities forever.

*spits in disgust*

ekakids:

Pls my people, is it proper for a housewife to ask her husband for a monthly allowance since she is not working yet?  All my married sisters in the house, I need your advice.

well, u shouldn't be asking ur husband for allowance, he should have the common sense to do so without being asked.

Yes. you should never have to ask for money. He should just give it to you, I mean its common sense. You are a house wife. Where are you getting this money?

I think my own marriage is different because i will never think of asking my husband allowance since we share our problem together ,if my husband have just 1# in the house i will know without expecting him to telling me,we make money together and spend it to gather we are open up to each other because even though i have access in all our accounts does not mean that when i spend any money even to buy my underwears i must let him know since he is my husband and he deserve the respect , so my advice is that in any marriage they must be open up and and trust even if the woman is not working but she still have right to know how much her husband is making and have access to it anytime she want and if she finished the money in a day she will be the one to suffer for it .As for me i believe that this issue of paying a woman allowance in her own house is not proper .

sweetnekys:

I think my own marriage is different because i will never think of asking my husband allowance since we share our problem together ,if my husband have just 1# in the house i will know without expecting him to telling me,we make money together and spend it to gather we are open up to each other because even though i have access in all our accounts does not mean that when i spend any money even to buy my underwears i must let him know since he is my husband and he deserve the respect , so my advice is that in any marriage they must be open up and and trust even if the woman is not working but she still have right to know how much her husband is making and have access to it anytime she want and if she finished the money in a day she will be the one to suffer for it .As for me i believe that this issue of paying a woman allowance in her own house is not proper .

you are inteligent, you are not asking for allowance, but you have access to the whole money hmmmmm

ok what happen to this if you give your wife allowance and all she will do is keep the money after some time she will send it to her mother of sister, and after she will ask you to help her parent,is she doing the right thing, and i believe that is why some poeple dont give money to there wife, if she need anything all she do is mathew 7;7 read your bible

I think giving your wife an allowance is the most sensible thing to do - especially if she's
a 'housewife' as the poster suggests.
But even if she's working, it's still not a bad idea.

//

You have spoken well, but don't forget that it's not all women that are housewives
out of choice. Sometimes, the situation dictates that the woman stays home for the children.
Depending on their situation, it may only be for a while, after that she is free to work.
During this period, she surely deserves to take care of herself without having to beg the
husband for money all the time. Maybe that's where the issue of regular allowance comes in.
Just my own thought.

//

@ Biina and Ilelobola

I quite agree with your suggestions but it will be a great mistake on my part to attempt to give her a lecture on financial prudence or give any impress that she is not financially prudent as that will only call for some serious tongue-lashing and more name calling.

Unfortunately, that is the kind of woman i'm married to.

Thanks anyway for your advice.

Maybe you are misunderstanding the word 'allowance'.

Roughlen:

@ Biina and Ilelobola

I quite agree with your suggestions but it will be a great mistake on my part to attempt to give her a lecture on financial prudence or give any impress that she is not financially prudent as that will only call for some serious tongue-lashing and more name calling.

Unfortunately, that is the kind of woman i'm married to.

Thanks anyway for your advice.

You need not take the lecturing approach (as some do not respond positively to the approach, thinking it condescending), but you can simply guide her to profitable commitments that would help save some of her money form her profligacy. I have often observed that given the same level of information and exposure, people all come to the same conclusion.

Every human has a rudder, with which you can steer them in the right direction, with little effort. It is justified that you spend considerable time and effort towards finding that which works for your wife. Else of what benefit is the fact that her short comings are your areas of strength, if you only indulge her failings. Do not under the guise of avoiding conflicts in the home, become a coward and engender that which is inimical to you and your family. If needed, you can consult and/or seek the assistance of others.

Not wishing you ill, but if you happen to pass away sooner rather than later, do you trust your wife to effectively manage herself and the future of your kids?

God talk, biina. I second that.

Again I agree with Biina, well said. I think you should act on his/her advice Roughlen, Good luck.

Also learnt the meaning of a new word- inimical- had to dust the dictionary. Thanks Biina

inimical? good thing we still do some learning here in n/l.

chaircover:

What is all this I am hearing about "my money", "your money" , "allowance" etc

I thought marriage is for sharing.

yea marriage is all about sharing as long as it is the woman that is sharing what the man has or her problems to the man, it is surely a one sided sharing contract. Marriage was once defined as "where only one person is right, and it is never the man"

I don't understand. Looks like you're so bitter with marriage as a whole.
It doesn't have to be that way.

George_D:

I don't understand. Looks like you're so bitter with marriage as a whole.
It doesn't have to be that way.

me bitter? nah! just telling it as it is, at least as it is here in the states

Ok, I see your point.

An allowance is different from cooking fees, cleaning fees, and what not; those are necessities . An allowance should not be given, because men and women are supposedly equal so house wives should go out there and get a job. Yea i said it, fight me.

We shouldn't be fighting here. Rather we should be sharing ideas.

what of in the case ,where the temporaly housewife, who is nursing their baby just "Request " the husband should give her little money to sort herself out, and the husband demands to know everything the wife wants to buy , asking her what do u need the money for, am the onlyone earning some money in this house, go and get a job, forgetting she is nursing their baby. what should she do?

in Europe benefits are paid to kids,what of in the case whereby the husband collects all these benefits which the nursingmother is supposed to use in supporting herself, claiming he is using it to settle some debts. leaving the wife with nothing, infact making life miserable to her. maybe someone comes her way who is ready to meet her pressing needs. what should she do?

What Allowance? The man does the following for you:

1. Pays the rent

2. Pays the bills

3. Pay for the maintainance of everything from water to light to plumbing etc

4. Provides for your comfort i.e cable, internet, phones etc

5. Provides for the school fees of the kids

6. Provides for the food you eat

7. Provide for all the necessities and luxuries in the house and for you

Now you still want to demand for allowance when its your duty to:

1. Breast feed and take care of the kids

2. Do the dishes, chores, wash his clothes and Iron

3. Cook sporadically

4. Have sex with him

Now why should he pay for these things when he is obviously doing more than 100% to make the family stable but you want allowance because he sleeps with you or because you clean the house. . . pssff! (As if its not your natural duty from birth to do all that)

The man can do without the house wife. He can always get a cleaner, cook and nanny to do all her jobs and can always find a girl in a club to sleep with and pay. I will rather pay an escort to sleep with me than give my wife a dime or allowance for sleeping with me. The moment she asks for an allowance, then there is no difference between her and a common red light prostitute! Which in my own opinion are one and the same set of people only that one is wearing a wedding ring under lock and key and the other is busy at allen avenue!

Aren't you being sarcastic now?

Chuck Ba$$:

What Allowance? The man does the following for you:

1. Pays the rent

2. Pays the bills

3. Pay for the maintainance of everything from water to light to plumbing etc

4. Provides for your comfort i.e cable, internet, phones etc

5. Provides for the school fees of the kids

6. Provides for the food you eat

7. Provide for all the necessities and luxuries in the house and for you

Now you still want to demand for allowance when its your duty to:

1. Breast feed and take care of the kids

2. Do the dishes, chores, wash his clothes and Iron

3. Cook sporadically

4. Have sex with him

Now why should he pay for these things when he is obviously doing more than 100% to make the family stable but you want allowance because he sleeps with you or because you clean the house. . . pssff! (As if its not your natural duty from birth to do all that)

The man can do without the house wife. He can always get a cleaner, cook and nanny to do all her jobs and can always find a girl in a club to sleep with and pay. I will rather pay an escort to sleep with me than give my wife a dime or allowance for sleeping with me. The moment she asks for an allowance, then there is no difference between her and a common red light prostitute! Which in my own opinion are one and the same set of people only that one is wearing a wedding ring under lock and key and the other is busy at allen avenue!

The poor woman that's married to you or likely to marry you. I suppose the escort will also bear the children so the nanny can be employed to look after them eh?

Chances are, if you can't provide her with money to spend on herself except the list of things you feel she needs as above, someone else will provide it to her. Then she truly will be a common red light prostitute like you say.

Chuck Ba$$:

What Allowance? The man does the following for you:

1. Pays the rent

2. Pays the bills

3. Pay for the maintainance of everything from water to light to plumbing etc

4. Provides for your comfort i.e cable, internet, phones etc

5. Provides for the school fees of the kids

6. Provides for the food you eat

7. Provide for all the necessities and luxuries in the house and for you

Now you still want to demand for allowance when its your duty to:

1. Breast feed and take care of the kids

2. Do the dishes, chores, wash his clothes and Iron

3. Cook sporadically

4. Have sex with him

Now why should he pay for these things when he is obviously doing more than 100% to make the family stable but you want allowance because he sleeps with you or because you clean the house. . . pssff! (As if its not your natural duty from birth to do all that)

The man can do without the house wife. He can always get a cleaner, cook and nanny to do all her jobs and can always find a girl in a club to sleep with and pay. I will rather pay an escort to sleep with me than give my wife a dime or allowance for sleeping with me. The moment she asks for an allowance, then there is no difference between her and a common red light prostitute! Which in my own opinion are one and the same set of people only that one is wearing a wedding ring under lock and key and the other is busy at allen avenue!

na waoo, some men are really mean, if u dont take care of ur wife, then some abled men will do that for u. all those things u listed doesnt hold water atall, its ur duty as a man to provide for ur family , and also to meet the needs of ur wife. chekina

Nonsense!!!

If she is not ready to do her job as a housewife and sit down in one place but demand for allowances, whats the divorce court for? I cant be scammed by one woman whose sole duty in life is to become a domesticated being and look after a house. Whats so hard there? Does she go out there to hustle to make ends meet for the family or does she think money grows on trees?

Abeg i dont have time for all this crazy feminine independence liberation crap. If she has a brain, she ought to be working to provide for the family but if she intends to be a dense lazy slob, then she should be contented in being a domesticated animal and live with it.

And if any man wants to take her away from me, he can be my guest. Its just like replacing one house maid with another. A very smooth transition!

I will be glad to transfer all her headaches to him!

Chuck Ba$$:

Nonsense!!!

If she is not ready to do her job as a housewife and sit down in one place but demand for allowances, whats the divorce court for? I cant be scammed by one woman whose sole duty in life is to become a domesticated being and look after a house. Whats so hard there? Does she go out there to hustle to make ends meet for the family or does she think money grows on trees?

Abeg i dont have time for all this crazy feminine independence liberation crap. If she has a brain, she ought to be working to provide for the family but if she intends to be a dense lazy slob, then she should be contented in being a domesticated animal and live with it.

And if any man wants to take her away from me, he can be my guest. Its just like replacing one house maid with another. A very smooth transition!

I will be glad to transfer all her headaches to him!

well , no need of talking toomuch cos i see u r still a bachelor, u have no experience atall about marriage and commitment. i believe u will know better when u grow older and get involved. no offence meant.

Yes, looks like the guy is a bachelor. No surprises at this line of thinking.

Why not?

And why not try and be a House wife for 1 day yourself then, you'd know where these house wives are coming from.  And after the chores please, don't ask for house keeping money, ok!
Good luck!!!!