dis thread makes me laugh
why do u wnt 2 punish da poor kids

you are not punishing poor kids, you are punishing bad kids.

One aspect of engineering which appears in almost every other field is Controls. Control theory dictates how most things work from robots to the economy.

All stable controllers utilize negative feedback.

Spanking a child is negative feedback. It is a correction which causes them to modify their behavior towards what you want. Essentially, it is a means of controlling your child.

whteva

Parents!! heres a little tip for you:

When i was a child i found that when my mum deprived me of something i really liked doing (going out, computer, tv) this really annoyed me and made me think twice about being naughty. This even worked at the start of my teens but being 15 now i have grown out of bad behaviour, at least i like to think! (I'm sure my mum will dissagree!)

Not everyone responds to punishment the same way. Sometimes just a word is enough to get the child thinking. Punishing too often however, makes the child get used to it.

If you don't explain to the child why he/she's being punished he/she might assume you hate him/her -- and you know where it goes from there.

i don't like it when small children are tortured for what they don't understand. Several mornings i'm woken up with the noise of a child crying "mummy please, muimmy please" and "twap, twap twap". If beating works so well how come you have to beat them so often.

Beating a child is a short-cut approach that won't work when the child is old enough to beat you up (15 years for a boy, never for a girl unless she's really large). It's better to give the child a compelling reason to be respectful and obedient. Force is something for policemen and soldiers, not parents, to use.

I don't punish my kids i keep telling them they are grounded but i don't mean it.
If they do wrong I they know they did wrong.
I let them know i know and i let them know why I don't want them doing it (what ever).
Thats it-
If my big girl gos to a club. I do not just tell her don't go because i said so.
I have to tell her why i don't want her to go.
And if she still goes She will also explain why she still went. And how she got home.
And as she is telling her story i will ask questions that make her look stupid.

Eg How did you get there , how did you come home what if some one had raped you at the junction.
How old was the driver how many drinks did he have.

Nwoke,

Some children need a good slapping to get them in line. I do not believe in hitting your kids to the extent where you do bodily harm but a good slap is sometimes what they need. All this rubbish that 'child experts' talk about sitting them on an imaginary naughty step, O please!! the child needs a whooping!!! Then they will know not to hit mummy or embarrass mummy while shopping. If you explain to the child why mummy just smacked them, they will know not to do it again.

Besides, even the Bible says:

Proverbs 23:13
Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

KOBOKO for laif,

@ Seun I have just come to the conclusion that u so naive that u don't even know it. someone gave u an example from desperate housewives u said that can't be cited because it is fiction but u went on to tell us about a book. A book on parenting any psychologist worth his onions will tell u that u can't write a book on that subject ( I am sure some have but i don't intend to be reading any book on how to parent my child). I come from a very large family with different individuals. As a child i only responded to two things 1 i hated seeing my mum upset and she used that to good effect (in ur books that would be emotional blackmail ) and 2 Smacking: I believe that i am the balanced and well adjusted yoruba and nigerian raised woman that i am because of my parents and their approach to discipline. (Nothing like the nigerian women u described in ur responses). My sister on the other hand responded only to words and to this day i know for a fact that my sister was never smacked by either of our parents. Kids are human beings and like all human beings need to have and know their boundaries. U can't treat kids like adults because they are kids but u can't treat them like they are stupid either because they are not. Raising a child should include the use of positive and negative reinforcements give praise when due, correct with words when u need to and use physical means if u have to as long as it is not done in anger or done solely to inflict pain, a child can tell either way.

dont let them watch tv for 1 week

eveseh:

don't let them watch tv for 1 week

That's one thing that definitely won't bug me -- I hate television. Restricting access to a computer is what'll strike me.

ohhh!!!!!!!! i see so U're a kid ZAh how interesting to knw!lil KId!

One thing I think would strike any child is restricting access to "modern" equipment. For example, instead of cooking with gas, let them use firewood. If they want to wash, deny them access to the washing machine and let them hand-wash.

Zahymaka:

One thing I think would strike any child is restricting access to "modern" equipment. For example, instead of cooking with gas, let them use firewood. If they want to wash, deny them access to the washing machine and let them hand-wash.

that will be punishing my self not my kids.They will be only too happy

mamaput:

that will be punishing my self not my kids.They will be only too happy

How?

They will only be too happy to PLAY with fire and water.Thats what they will call it .
And its me that will clean the mess

Wow -- you do have some kids. Parenting really is tough.

Nwoke:

i don't like it when small children are tortured for what they don't understand. Several mornings i'm woken up with the noise of a child crying "mummy please, muimmy please" and "twap, twap twap". If beating works so well how come you have to beat them so often.

u know what, i totally feel u and different children have different personalities and well, its really the environment that a child grows up in, that determines the kind of child, he/she is gonna be. so dont start correctin the child wit spankin or beatin, there r oda ways, it ticks me off when someone finks violence is the answer. violence has neva worked and it would neva work.
correct a child by deprivin him or her of sumfin they really love, it doesnt have to be p.s or watér, if u r smart u'll fink of sumfin

Normally give a stern warning first, if that fails tie them up by their ankles and leave them dangling for 1 hour for every year of their life.

lol, u r kiddin rite? u got to be!

Yeah I'm kidding!!

the best way is to scold dem(not shout @ dem) and wher thy dnt listen, ground dem

@kellorah

that doesnt apply to my brother at all. he is so stubborn.

All the scolding we'all got as kids -has it really made us stronger, or weaker ?

stronger!

Oh yea ?

yep

kellorah:

the best way is to scold them(not shout @ them) and wher thy dnt listen, ground them

i do not think you have children, i have four 3 boys and 1 girl they are all different, grounding no longer works for kids, well in the UK more over the law states that if you smack a child and leave a mark it is child abuse for which you can go to prison.


my oldest lord have mercy nothing works! nothing!


my second once i raise my voice to let him know how disappointed i am he will behave for about 2 months before any other problem.

my third      i am still trying to find out if he is mine  the child is confuse he has split personalities you will know who you are taking to when he gets up in the morning, some times i have to wait until his teacher calls to say he is breaking the school apart. the thing  with this boy is no matter what the punishment the damn child will turn it in to a game.


although i shout and some times i hit i do not believe it is right, i do not want my children to be afraid off me, i want them to respect me as their mother and listen when i speak.

My kids know that i can be as mad as them if not madder . I have thrown their Pants _{Nigerian pant} out of the window. and if i tell them i will come to their school with pant on my head bright red lipstick to give them a big fat kiss and tell them they forgot their Egg or pickled cucumber or an onion , They will believe me that i can do it

mamaput you sound like mother, that is what she use to do i hated that made me cry for days.

But it worked did it not .
When my kids threw themselves on the floor because they wanted sweet from the shop, I too threw myself on the floor and did as if i was crying.
But sometimes i got real radical , If they ran on the road i will twist the hand and tell them i would rather break that hand than let them have an accident.Sometimes when there was a dead heghog on they road, i explained to them thats what happens in an accident .
I only got psychical when it is a matter of life and death, like the running on the road or if they beat me. These are two things i never took from them at any age no matter how small.
And when i shout they all know i mean it and run to my command. But that is because i do not shout often.