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Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by Enoquin(f): 12:25pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
VivaVivre: Joor oh, oruko to sa wo enu mi niyen |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by NKGauteng: 12:49pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
@Shinelle spot on! OP sorry o. You must have been at your ur wits end to come to Nairaland about such an issue. Majority of the respondents have been so unrealistic it seems they're just having fun at ur expense. So what if the maid is older or ur age mate? Some say u should Greet her first, treat her like ur sister, u must be a wicked woman, ure not paying her bla bla bla. By default Nigerians can be rude and uncultured. That's why many are siding with the maid. They don't see anything wrong in her disgusting behavior. Majority of them have no idea of how to behave decently. They love to take sides with the so called underprivileged even when they are wrong. U will not get objective folks here. I've had encounters with maids of my friends, neighbours, boyfriend, inlaw etc. If I notice rubbish behavior, I speak up immediately. Many of these maids are frustrated. They want to be you! They don't see why they're not the madam of the house. I don't subscribe to being too familiar with them but just to treat them with courtesy and pay them well. The maid doesn't have a choice of who to respect. That's her office for goodness sake! Like some said, something or someone is giving her power. I hope she's not messing with a man in that house. Ur fiancee is acting like most men will. They don't want "wahala" so he won't push the issue. It's not easy to avoid someone in the same compound as u. Speaking to ur inlaw wife may not help cos u said they are BFFs. Not sure ur inlaw will help either. Just hope shows her true colours to a guest that they hold in high esteem. Maybe they see you too often so uay benefit from reducing your visits. If anyone asks you, tell them you don't feel comfortable there. And please since ure working and have a shop, urge your fiance to save together with you for a 2 bedroom flat or self contained apartment. Your peace is more important than free accommodation. All the best. 6 Likes |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by tiredface: 12:58pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
SEVEN YEARS IS A LONG TIME SLEEPING WITH A BOY FRIEND. THE MAN IS NOT IN A HURRY TO SETTLE DOWN, YOU MUST BE LOOKING LIKE A FOOL AROUND THERE. YOUR BEST FRIEND THERE IS THE MAID, SHE'S TELLING YOU WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR, THAT YOU'RE NOT AS SMART AS YOU THINK. MY ADVICE, GO AND GET A LIFE, PERIOD 1 Like |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by Nobody: 1:38pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
Enoquin:lol. O da. Ka re! |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by Nobody: 1:40pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
True my dear. ShakurM: |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by cococandy(f): 2:16pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
@bold, now that's simply wrong. ima30: |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by decub: 3:22pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
ima30: It's sad knowing that you ain't loved by one of the members of the family who has no authority over you. It wasn't supposed to form part of your worries but sometimes, we feel we need more respect than we actually get. Firstly, it would have been good if your guy could swap apartments (rent his portion out and get an apartment elsewhere) pending when he is done with his own but certain people have their own way of doing things and you don't have to question them. I would like you to focus on one thing; not breaking that home because of a mere maid and respect your guy by respecting the respect he already has for his elder brother cos I know too well such do not exist in most families. It is not easy to find family members; extended I mean, living together and happily even though they have women as wives or wives to be around (not saying that women are causes of disintegration). Alternatively, you can try playing the mature lady by buying this maid over with your love. I've seen worst of enemies become best of friends. You can make her your friend, be the fool even though it's hard for the ladies, buy her gifts, discuss with her as though she is your best friend, confide in her but avoid the bu**sh*t, be the first to admire her and make her smile. It's not gonna be easy at first but it will heal with time. If you know how to play your games well you will discover that with time, she will start feeling guilty for treating you the way she did. Even though servants are meant to be servants, sometimes, they might just contribute to your own failure. Lest I forget, until you are married, you remain a non-member of the family. Sorry if you find some phrases harsh, it was only meant to teach. |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by Nobody: 3:50pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
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Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by creepsyme(f): 3:54pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
ima30:she will com bak to her senses the moment u decide to ignore her and behave as though she does not exist! but wait how can u allow a common housemaid to give u hypertension? God forbid! pls place her where she belongs to jare! |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by BreezyRita(f): 3:57pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
Swidy, don't mind these people dissing you up and down. Its typical of Nigerians. Ujoan has said my mind. I know you're planning something together, but please be less frequent in your visits. You don't wanna clash with her now. And whenever you're around, IGNORE her completely. If you've tried to be civil with her and she's as rude as you say, then have nothing to do with her when you're around. You said she'd remove those clothes from the line if your man washed them?? Meaning she takes care of them (your man included). It seems you're the person she despises. And I'm tempted to think there's more to this than meets the eye. No matter what happened, a maid should at least be civil with her employers. Oh wait. She knows you're not her employer (you're not a wife). Maid wahala can be maddening. I know. I'm not sure you'll live with this maid for two years. And I can't advice you to run away from the house or change plans because of her. But if your bro-in-law to be doesn't change her, you're gonna have to step out. Bad. What's with these maids sef? BTW, your moniker, are you Ibibio? |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by Nobody: 4:01pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
BreezyRita: babe leave Nigerian mentality aside. The babe is giving herself unnecessary headache, as far as marriage and inlaws are concerned_ there would be people trying their best to make you angry. The best one can do is IGNORE!!! A friend was telling me how she beat up her maid, the maid is actually very stubborn though. I asked her why? What happened to "waybilling" her back to her parents? You can't force respect out of people. I would make such a maid doubt her own existence... |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by Baidoo: 4:06pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
Omo odo ti o loga..The maid that doesn't have master is this one o, I have some similar experience also at a time I visit my boyfriend who had a maid for some time she was so rude and horrible person even my youngest sis is older than this maid I try making friend with her and greeting but what get back so rudeness . to cut the long story short she left the house without anyone sacking her . so my best advice to you is to get your own maid ignore her and pray hard and at end I hope she leaves cos she may be a witch |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by decountof(m): 4:08pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
u dey do my husband to be things abi....i believe u r d send send type,busybody onyeoma cy,....your a lazy person,and u dey put side talk wen d brothers dey talk to her,abeg send me d pix of d maid.........i pray mak she collect ur husband to be from u... |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by aameyah(f): 4:26pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
Hi ima30 I can understand where you're coming from. Somehow. But I think there is more to this than meets the eye. If your guy's brother/wife had not sold you out, I don't think she would have the guts to behave this way. Note I am not 100% sure, but there's a good chance that is what is happening. I have an example of a lady who has a grown nanny. She has allowed this nanny to see the ins and out of the whole family and as a result, the nanny has no regard for whosoever her mistress doesn't regard. Or as some people have suggested, she is sleeping with one of the main stakeholders in that family (I hope it's not the patriarch o). I suggest you keep to your side of the house, which shouldn't be too hard if you are someone like me. I no sabi do neighbourly gist when there are books to be read, interesting things to be browsed, shows to be seen or thoughts to be pondered. I quite understand that what you can't condone in marriage shouldn't be condoned now but I will ask you to just be on your own and allow events play out. A mouth that is closed, no fly can enter. Command your quiet respect. Thank God the house is big enough without your paths crossing. personally, I cannot even stay in a family house. Wish I had more time to talk but I'm caught up in some stuff. Ndo. 1 Like |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by xp17(m): 4:56pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
creepsyme:@the bolded, There's dignity in labor. Never disrespect or look down on anyone regardless of his/her status quo. You'll make a terrible boss 3 Likes |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by bettes(f): 5:12pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
sholay2011:. You can't be more shocked than I am right now,some of these posters are offended when a colleague of their is even the tiniest bit rude to them,talkless of a house help,and yes I said it house help. I want to assume some of these posters are either retired maids or are maids posting comments from their ogas phones,that's the only way they can justify such rudeness. 5 Likes |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by BreezyRita(f): 6:16pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
Kachisbarbie: Exactly! Its this worrying because it seems she can't do anything about it. Beht you wicked sha "Make her doubt her existence"? |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by creepsyme(f): 7:00pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
xp17:watever, but be reminded that respect is reciprocal. |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by sholay2011(m): 7:03pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
bettes:You nailed it. Lol@retired maids. 1 Like |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by bettes(f): 10:22pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
@Ima30 Pls ignore all those ignoramus calling you wicked and judging you. A maid has no right to be rude to her employers friends,girl friend,fiancee etc by doing that the maid is indirectly disrespecting her employer. Your fiancee must be very nice o,a maid disrespecting him because he corrected her,what nerve! The maid might not sleeping with your bro in law as some posters insinuated,but I think she thinks she's indispensable,it usually happens to maids who work for pple with little children or take care of the elderly,the employers treat them like tin gods,It happened to me,the maid we hired to take care of my late dad,was quite useless and extremely rude,but we took all her crap,because we were all wrking & needed someone to assist my mum in taking care of my dad. So dont blame your in law or your fiancee if he seems to be too tolerant. I've had maids that have been rude to my friends,cousins and I usually warn them before hand if I dare catch them being rude to anybody and by anybody,I mean even drivers,washmen they would be sacked without pay. My advice is that you totally ignore her,pretend she doesn't exist. There's a possibility that your sis in law sef get hand in her being rude,so don't play into their hands,she can make you look bad,as someone said she'd be rude to some they consider "important". Just focus on your fiancee and pls if there's anyway you can avoid living with your in laws when you marry,pls avoid 3yrs is quite long. 2 Likes |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by NKGauteng: 11:09pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
bettes:Seconded! Many posters here are maids or boyfriends of maids. Just talking nonsense! As if they can tolerate such behaviour from their employees. The mistake people make with maids is overfamiliarity! Who born you to disrespect any guest or family member? All of you siding with her, can you disrespect your Boss's brother or his sister in law, neighbour, friend etc? U accord the same respect because you value your job. She's just a disrespectful, uncouth and frustrated eediot who the Brothers are too lazy to sack. 2 Likes |
Re: How To Deal With A Terrible Maid? by ima30: 11:43pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
Thanks to y'all that understood me. Thanks for the healthy advice. Peace, mwah! 1 Like |
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