hello fellow Nigerians and friends
i work in the same office with my fiance but he meet me their.since we've started our relationship,he has being doubting me about a particular co-worker of ours though i was very close to this man infact i new this man before i started working in my company,he knows all my family,we are from the same state but different home town.
have told my guy nothing between me and this man that we are just close friend,i like him as a mentor,we discuss issues together before you came in.he is married with kids,i know his family but i have never being to his house before but he still insist that their must be something going on between the two of us.
i don't have free movement in the office again with fear that he might be thinking of something else.if he is not where he is seen me,their must be trouble that day.
their was a day we were discussing before we started our relationship,that i prefer male Friends to female Friends then,cause I'm always scared of female Friends and that married male Friends are better than single cause they wouldn't;t disturb you not that i have any married male Friends excluding this man in my office and is because we are in the same office and we new each other before i came in through my uncle and his daughter.
he capitalized on this that we are having an affair which i must stop.i told him what do you want me to stop?what has never existed or i should stop talking to him in the office? which is not possible cause definitely something would bring us together again .
he has being maltreating me on this issue,i have tried my possible best to make him believe we have nothing together
infact i stop discussing with this guy expect on official issue despite all this I'm still a LovePeddler.because of this ,i get to the office late these days just for him not to meet only me and that man in the office or he must have being in the office before i get their.
their was a day he beat me cause of this issue later he apologise through message that he was sorry that i know the cause of everything
though he is a very nice guy and i know he really loves me,if a guy loves a girl you will definitely know that.i know he loves me and he is very caring,his family are very nice as well but this issue in my relationship is killing
pls what can i do?i know you all understand more than my explanations
and don;t mind my English pls we are all learning
I'm really in love with this guy and i don't want to loose him

kindly advice

in my own experience dating in the same office is never a good idea, it is like spending your whole life together with no breathing space. thats why as harsh as it may seem most organizations will not allow couples to work for them as married people or family or a policy that forbibs that.
i think you have a choice to make, your relationship or the office? if u must choose your relationship then you must change job.
but come to think of it, must you avoid other people to satisfy you man? i sincerely believe it is not right as long as you don't ask him to do same. afterall he must also converse with other females in the name of work or office gist. if he can't trust you in a little circle called an office how then will he trust you when you are together for life and he is faraway from home. he may not be worth this emotional stress and cage you are in now!!!

shezy:


their was a day he beat me cause of this issue later he apologise through message that he was sorry that i know the cause of everything
though he is a very nice guy and i[b] know he really loves me[/b],if a guy loves a girl you will definitely know that.i know he loves me and he is very caring,his family are very nice as well but this issue in my relationship is killing
pls what can i do?i know you all understand more than my explanations
and don;t mind my English pls we are all learning
I'm really in love with this guy and i don't want to loose him

kindly advice

@poster


He loves you but does not trust you, he loves you but he sees you as a LovePeddler, he loves you but gave you the beating of your life? yes thats love isnt it?

What a stupid and childish lust

tell him - you are not about to lose your job to his jealousy and insercities - come to think of it - WHY ARE YOU PLANNING TO MARRY A MAN WHO DOUBTS YOU ON NO EVIDENCE?

WHY ALSO MARRY A MAN THAT BEATS YOU? surely of of these are signs that you both take a step back and reasses your relationship and why you are really getting married? is it because you ar eboth 'comfortable' in the relationship? you might think love - but LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH REASON TO BASE A MARRIAGE ON. it is imprtant just not th ONLY reason.

pls is he doughting u or doubting u? kindly clarify.

amebo no1.:


@poster


He loves you but does not trust you, he loves you but he sees you as a LovePeddler, he loves you but gave you the beating of your life? yes thats love isnt it?

What a stupid and childish lust

cant believe common sence is not common to some people.

tell him to bring his friends to beat you some more to show him how much you appreciate him being God sent in your life.  foolish love.  does she know what colour love is?

luxoire:

tell him - you are not about to lose your job to his jealousy and insercities - come to think of it - WHY ARE YOU PLANNING TO MARRY A MAN WHO DOUBTS YOU ON NO EVIDENCE?

WHY ALSO MARRY A MAN THAT BEATS YOU? surely of of these are signs that you both take a step back and reasses your relationship and why you are really getting married? is it because you ar eboth 'comfortable' in the relationship? you might think love - but LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH REASON TO BASE A MARRIAGE ON. it is imprtant just not th ONLY reason.

u wan pour sand for her garri? dont you know her life depends on this guy beating? marry him quick. if you need wedding gown we can help with one from oxfam

Kx:

pls is he doughting u or doubting u? kindly clarify.

@KX - He is doubting her, forget the typos get the real message.

@poster

I think you should walk away from this guy. Guys  like then feel so insecure and this always have a negative effect on their relationships. You are altering your life negatively all in the name of pleasing this guy. He will never trust you, know that for real. What will then happen if you guys are not working within the same organisation?

@JJYOU - some ppl dont know any different and may need it spelt out to them sometime

@Poster,
Your guy is Insecured and that is a terrible thing to deal with in a relationship, I'll advise you to review your stand on the affair,He might do worse things(aside the beatings you got) to cover up for his insecurity.

JJYOU:

cant believe common sence is not common to some people.

tell him to bring his friends to beat you some more to show him how much you appreciate him being God sent in your life. foolish love. does she know what colour love is? u wan pour sand for her garri? dont you know her life depends on this guy beating? marry him quick. if you need wedding gown we can help with one from oxfam

the last statement was this ''kindly advice on what to do'' thanks this is yours che?is appreciated

luxoire:

tell him - you are not about to lose your job to his jealousy and insercities - come to think of it - WHY ARE YOU PLANNING TO MARRY A MAN WHO DOUBTS YOU ON NO EVIDENCE?

WHY ALSO MARRY A MAN THAT BEATS YOU? surely of of these are signs that you both take a step back and reasses your relationship and why you are really getting married? is it because you ar eboth 'comfortable' in the relationship? you might think love - but LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH REASON TO BASE A MARRIAGE ON. it is imprtant just not th ONLY reason.

thanks very much.we have to talk things out
i even told him maybe i will change job,even if i change how am i sure it wouldn't be worst?
your advice is really appreciated

sisterwoman pls what do you have to say

shezy:


i even told him maybe i will change job,even if i change how am i sure it wouldn't be worst?

you are dumb

say thank you aunty amebo


what nonsense

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFIfgaSh8IY

The guy is insecure and you need to leave him now. He won't stop.

so you mean doubting.

@poster
doughting or doughnut
Having said that I got to eat doughnuts
Cant you stand up like rihanna?

Hehehe. Stay with him and work somewhere else.

u've not married him, yet all this wahala !

geez !

amebo no1.:

you are dumb

say thank you aunty amebo


what nonsense

why are you like this?
you are not a gentle lady
you don't just talk to people the way you feel like because they need your advice
if you can't give any,is not a must though i know you are trying to help but be calm with your words

hollandis:

@poster
doughting or doughnut
Having said that I got to eat doughnuts
Cant you stand up like rihanna?

tpiah:

so you mean doubting.

sorry for that .it was a mistake and that doesn't mean i shouldn't express myself
thanks for the correction

really

@poster, when both of you get married you will see MORE!

i have a question 4 u poster
are u currently sleepin wit this ur fiance!

His also in love with u, and that is what making him jeloxx,and pls stand up u also hv a say here,try not to always be that soft dont think u will loose him by being realistic some times,u dont hv 2 be there and he make all d decisions,just a text message and give in am sure it was that same day, am not saying u pick up qureel with him all the time but dont let him over ride ur hummility,a break is not a breakup if he realy love u,he will realize his being childish,pls dont quite as some said cos no man is perfect,good luck.

My dear

Love does not hurt. You will have rough patches but a man should never hurt you. That is not love. That is lust gone wrong. You need to find a man that will RESPECT you and that deserves you because the bastard of a man who you say you love does not,

@poster: he has shown u d necessary signs now oooooooooooooooh, dont come back here to complain of battery when u marry am, d choice is all urs,

@op
run for your dear life cos ur in over your head
common sense dictates u leave him cos he wont stop
i mean ur yet to get married & he's like this, what then happens when ur all his
relationship & marriage is all about trust

plz dat guy does not luv u, cos if he does he wouldn't doubt you talk more of beating you

just leave him

[size=16pt]If he doubts you, he does not trust you. If he does not trust you, how could he ever love you? [/size]

You are all deadly wrong for passing judgment based on one side of a story. I think we should ask the girl what she and the married man always does in the office. probably the guy dont like what they normally do and she regard it as nothing, i think a woman should respect her man and make the relationship serious.

Ladies like messing around a lot even when they are engaged. When asked why they doing what they are doing, they always answered, i'm i sleeping with guy? like Beyonce in ("If I were a boy") They believe they are just having fun. Thats wrong in a serious relationship

Most girls are looking for husband, even if they found one, they cant seem to let go of some of their despicable acts and yet they would want their man to trust them. The thing is their is not always smoke without fire, the guy must have been seeing something.

Be faithful and put your relationship first, if you yourself trust him and then see if he trust you

your allowed to beat your girlfriend? Nigeria has some weird customs. Oh well, maybe your women are dedicated, cause they been taught to be a whipping post.

Anyways, sounds like a trust issue. Or bf not spending enough time really loving you. These kind of behaviours are fear based. Mayby someone cheated on him in the past, or maybe he is afraid of loosing control. Who knows, either way fear based love is not love. It's more of a love of himself and his own identity. It's a selfish love.

You should re eval your relationship. Don't get married, until you know he can really love you.

How are we sure this lady in question is not screwing the other guy

I mean, Until the day you get married, anything can happen.Even wives Cheat on their husbands and vice versa  so whether you trust or you don't trust, she/he will do whatever she/he will do. Ladies of nowadays are something else so i dont blame the guy.He might have "Circumstantial Evidence" .

Any man that Hits a Lady is a Beast.If he actually hit you, Run Run Run!!!