HOME INTERNAL MEMO
FROM: FATHER
TO: ALL DEPENDANTS AND RELATIVES
CC: MOTHER
DATE: TODAY
FUEL SCARCITY COUNTER MEASURES
Due to the recent scarcity in fuel, all domestic rules
and regulations have been revised as below & under no
circumstance is any violation going to be accepted.
1. The Kitchen & all pantries are declared Restricted
Zones. Entry and/or passage shall require express
permission from myself upon submission of written
request.
2. Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be
discussed!
3. Food items such as rice, chicken, butter, jam, eggs,
bread and milk are Restricted. Anyone intending to eat
any of such foodstuffs must write to me in triplicate,
with three days notice, giving justifications backed by a
qualified dietician's report.
4. Watering with a hose pipe is banned. Further, only
food-givingplants shall be watered. No lawns or flowers
shall receive water. For internal decoration, only plastic
and dry-flower arrangements shall permitted.
5. Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 litres of water
per day per person while bathing in the evening is
banned unless there are medical reasons.
6. All security lights should be removed with
immediate effect. All dependants shall abide by an all-
night guard-duty roster I shall make available shortly.
7. No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less
attempt to offer food, drinks or even music. Those who
want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them.
8. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other
property in the house, shall immediately have to seek
temporary employment somewhere to earn money to
replace such broken item(s).
10. All visitors intending to spend a night/week or more
shall apply in triplicate and give two months notice,
with an endorsement from their MP, Village Head
or Church Priest, giving convincing reasons why they
can't stay at their homes. Failure to do this shall result
in their being turned away, at the gate, upon arrival.
THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY
DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!!!


Cc; Lalasticlala

GBAM!!! that's how we roll!